A while later: Tony had just opened his bottle of rum after Penelope had gone home and he was pouring himself some when there was a knock at his door. He had changed into some ancient sweats and a t- shirt that had Guantanamo Bay in faded letters on one sleeve.

He walked over and opened his door. "Emily." Jet lifted her head off of the floor and let out a low rumble. Then she calmed back down.

"Can we talk about this?"

He moved back from his doorway. "Come in."

"Thank you."

He went to his couch and sat down.

"It was the only solution at the time. I couldn't have asked you to leave your entire life while I was hiding."

"So you thought it was better for me to think you were dead?"

"My own mother thought I was dead."

"I can't change that now."

He swallowed for a minute. "My mom left my life and I had no control over the situation. I lost friends at NCIS and one that I could have even loved that way. I thought it couldn't possibly happen again."

He went to drink some rum and the glass slipped out of his hand.

"I know I've lost people too. I hate that I had to do that but if he thought I was alive he would have killed every person I loved before he finally let me die. If he would have let me live at all."

"I put walls up Em because when my heart gets bruised or broken I have to do that. I learned at the age of eight to shut things off and down. It's the crap I carry from my father. He saw the cracked but not broken glass on the floor and picked it up as a splinter of it cut his palm. "Shit."

"Then get mad or something." "Let me get that and clean that up for you."

"Ok I don't know if I can get mad." Tony allowed her to clean and put a band aid on his palm and pick up the glass and also wipe up the rum with an older hand towel of his.
"I know I hurt a lot of people, but you need to understand that if I hadn't there would have been so much more pain."

"I can't." Tony picked up the broken glass and threw it against the wall. "Damn it Emily Prentiss you are the most infuriating woman who has ever gotten the hell beneath my skin."

"Do you know how many nights I missed you next to me in bed?"

"You think I didn't miss you when I was in hotel rooms?"

"I don't know." Tears began to drip down his face slowly. He wiped his face off with his hand. "I don't know a freaking thing anymore."

"I know you don't believe me, but it was the only way to keep you and everyone else safe. Ian Doyle is the closest thing I have ever seen to the devil in my life."

"I'm tired Em. I can hear what you're saying but God I am just worn thin."

"I think the last time I slept was when I was here with you."

"Come to bed."

Authors Note: They have sort of begun to patch things up but Tony will need time. Thanks dustytiger once again for running this with me though I know angst isn't your thing.