A/N Hey guys!
Anyway i own nothing blah blah blah i wish i did blah blah i wish Tobias was mine blah *sobs in corner and hugs Tobias*
Here we go!
Tris POV.
"The next step is to do this..."
He looks down and looks up at me and smiles...
I feel something lingering around my forbidden area and notice that he only has one arm holding me against the shower tiles. I look down and see his finger worming it's way into my hole.
"Wait!"
"Whats wrong?" Tobias looks up at me and has a concerning look in his eyes but also eager.
"I… I… ummmm…"
"Tris, remember what we said?: I nod and he says "We aren't forcing each other and its just us we can tell each other anything. Okay?"
"Okay." (Sorry but i had to put in a tfios reference!)
"Ready?"
"Will it hurt?"
"I'm not sure but you can tell me if it does and i'll stop. Yeah?"
Okay."
He nods as if to conform what he said and to check if I'm ready.
I feel his finger enter me and ever so slowly i feel it explore.
It's a great feeling and it makes me feel how i felt when i jumped off the roof to the net where my eyes first met them beautiful royal blue eyes which whoms i meet right now.
Our breathing intensifies i say:
"Faster."
He complies and his long finger goes further and pulls out, back in etc. He looks like he is enjoying it.
I think back to just before when he said:
'"We aren't forcing each other and it's just us, we can tell each other anything. Okay?" and I'm not sure but you can tell me if it does and i'll stop. Yeah?"
"You know….. why i….. love you.." I say in-between breaths.
"Why?…."
"Because your so… understanding and… caring…. You know…."
He closes his eyes and pulls his finger out and turns his back so his not facing me and he groans and moans. (Ha Ha that rhymes!)
"Babe whats wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing…" He answers.
He turns back to me and smiles and looks down at his tip that is covered in white sticky stuff again.
"Not that again!" I joke. He laughs. His chest bounces around.
He uses his finger to wash his tip. He rinses under the water.
He strokes my cheek then grabs my hands and says:
"I love you because your Brave, selfless, intelligent, honest and kind."
He leans in to kiss me but before he can i slip out of his grasp and I walk over to the shower door and open it and quickly grab a towel and dry myself.
I hang up the towel and hear Tobias call my name out and ask what I'm doing.
"Its a surprise! Don't come out till i say Okay!"
"ARGHHHH! But i love you!" He whines in a little kid voice. I giggle.
"I love your giggle!"
I run to the bed and make the bed with fresh sheets and toss the old one in the laundry.
I light 2 candles either side of the bed and lay on the bed and yell out:
"Ready!"
He walks out of the bathroom and smiles.
"I'M. LOOKING. AT. THE. MOST. GORGEOUS. MAN. IN. HISTORY. AND. HE. IS. STARING. AT. ME… NAKED." I gasp out.
"I'm not gorgeous…"
"I will never get use to see that." I breathe
"What? This old thing!" He poses and moves his arms down his body and laughs.
"You're so funny…"
"Come 'ere." He says.
I sit up and cross my legs. Tobias crawls on the bed like a tiger and growls.
"Easy there, Tiger."
He sits in my lap, straddling me.
"You know i like the idea of "orgasms"." I tell him.
"Oh really…" He bends down and kisses my neck.
"mmmmm…yeaaaa….. Fourrrrr…Waitttt…"
He stops and says. "Whats wrong?"
"Can you take both of us to the next step?"
His face has a look on it like it's confused but really concerned.
"Are you sure? I've heard it hurts… Tris, It will hurt for you…" He reasons with me but i won't back down.
"If love is what you need, a solider i will be." I say with courage but still a little shaky of the thought that it will hurt. (a line from the song Angel with a Shotgun)
"I don't want to hurt you…" He whispers.
"I know but this is what i want. Is that ok with you?" I ask.
He nods but he still has concern on his face.
He sighs "Okay… Tell me when you're ready."
He wraps his strong arms around me and closes his eyes with our foreheads touching.
We lay there for a few minutes breathing in each other, our scents and the situation. I break the silence by saying:
"I'm ready…"
Tobias sighs and open his eyes. He kisses me on the lips and sits up.
He looks me dead in the eye and says:
"Now Tris, you understand that if i hurt you i will never forgive myself, it will hurt you, it will hurt me knowing i have hurt you. Do you know that?"
"Tobias," I stroke his face and continue: " I understand. It will hurt me more than you i promise."
"Exactly! That's what i don't want to happen!" He argues. He puts his hand on his forehead like he has a huge headache.
"Hey, hey its okay… What's wrong babe?" I pry his hand away.
"It's no fair. I want this to be totally equal for both of us, but i have to hurt you to love you…"
"And thats why i love you…" I whisper.
He sighs again and puts a hand either side of my face and throws a leg over mine.
"Okay tell me when to stop, pull out or slow down. Okay?'
"Yup."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Ready?"
"As i'll ever be…"
Tobias' face cringes as he enters me. He is going very slow about a half a cm every 20 seconds. But thats okay because it gives Tobias the piece of mind that he needs to do this. As well as I'm enjoing it.
Then something changes that. He hits a wall and stops.
I wince and i bite my lip to help from crying out.
"I'm pulling out!"
"No. Wait."
My hands slap his back and his arse and i hug him in, so he is back where he started.
"I'm hurting you!" He yells.
He bucks out so my hands rip away from him.
He sits down at the end of the bed and faces me but doesn't look at me
I feel the hot, salty tears stream down my cheeks.
He looks at me and notices I'm crying.
"See now your crying because i went to fast!" He is still yelling.
I shake my head hard and try to get a word out but can't.
"N… B…..Tob…Your…"
"See Tris! I told you it would hurt and you didn't listen to me!"
The tears are rushing out now and they come with sobs.