21 Chapter 15
Tris pov
My knuckles trickle with blood.
How caring he was.
How he looked after me when it hurt.
How attentive he was.
I sob and fall to the ground.
Get up.
I stand up and walk out the door.
I storm past the pit and run down the stairs to Zeke's.
I don't knock i just walk in.
I sit down next to Christina i don't say anything and I search the room for Four.
Not here.
I look around the circle.
Marlene, Will and Shaunna.
No sign of Uriah, Lynn or Zeke as well.
"Hey?" Christina says.
I can't hold me tears back anymore.
I tear up and one loud sob escapes and i can't stop.
"What's wrong?" Marlene asks.
Christina wraps her arms around me and pulls my head to her shoulder.
I try to mumble something but it turns into babble.
Shaunna nudges Will and he stands up and walks out.
"Hey are you going to tell us?" Shaunna asks quietly.
'I'm…I'm not… Not pregna…nt…" I say in between sobs.
They look confused.
I take a deep breath and stop crying.
"I've made a huge mess with Four and he wanted it but then i saw blood and then i ran away in the training room and now my knuckles are bleeding and Four isn't here and…"
I burst into tears again.
"Now that..it's gone….I thi..think i really wanted it…."
They crowd me and they all hug me.
They don't say anything.
We sit there for maybe 2 minutes maybe 20 but i think about Four and about being a mother and i can't recap today or any other day.
Someone walks in and then more footsteps approach.
I close my eyes.
I just want to curl into a ball and disappear.
"Hey guys…" I hear Zeke say.
"Hi." Shaunna answers.
"Hey Tris…" It comes from a deep, familiar voice.
I sob at the thought.
I bury my head into Christina.
"It's Four." It continues.
I keep crying.
He leans down and puts a hand on my shoulder.
I don't know whether to scream at him or kiss him.
I think about all the times he's yelled at me and embarrassed me.
But then i think about the times he's looked after me and cared for me.
I shift off Christina and bury myself into him.
He wraps his strong arms around me and sits on the ground.
He lifts me in his lap and i wrap my arms around him even tighter.
He is strong, and lithe, and certain.
And he is mine.
"Wait so is she pregnant?" Uriah asks.
I don't say anything.
"No she thought she was." Marlene says.
"I was at the tests." Christina adds
"So Tris might be pregnant?" Shaunna asks
"No not pregnant. It's a false alarm." Christina answers.
"So Four's the father?" Will asks.
"So she is pregnant? Uriah asks.
"No, she's not pregnant. Uriah keep up!" Zeke shouts
"But he asked if Four's the father." Uriah answers back
"Oh, even when Four thought i was pregnant, he still made a point of saying he didn't want it!" I shout.
He pulls away from me and looks at me.
"That's not what i said. You're the one who said you'd be happy to have kids whenever."
"You two, not good at talking." Christina points out.
"But good at other things, obviously." She adds.
The group agree.
"You seemed so relieved when i wasn't pregnant." I ignore her.
"Stop thinking you know what i'm thinking, because sometimes you get it wrong."
"If you weren't so cryptic."
"Yeah, she wouldn't have to guess what you're thinking." Christina interrupts.
"Thanks Chris but i can handle it."
"I wish you had been pregnant." Four continues.
Silence.
Everyone looks at me.
"Me too."
"I want to be with you no matter what…. Is that clear enough for you?"
"Very.
He leans in and grabs my waist and touches his lips to me and opens.
The group all cheer.
We continue slowly and passionately.
"I found some champagne so we can celebrate.." Uriah says.
We stop and we both chuckle.
I rest my head into Four's chest and breathe it in.
He smells like detergent and something heavy, sweet and distinctly male.
I never want this moment to end.
I pull away and look him in the eye and smile.
His beautiful white, straight teeth replace his closed lips and flash at me.
I put my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around him.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
A phone text message alarm goes off and Lynn checks her phone.
I don't get a chance to look at her because Zeke has his glass raised.
"TO FOUR AND TRIS!"
We raise our cups and yell:
"FOURTRIS!"
We all take a sip of champagne.
Four has his arm wrapped around my waist.
Something doesn't taste right about this champagne.
"This champagne tastes kind of fungal."
Lynn bobs down to me and whispers:
"I just, uh, checked my messages.-"
I nod.
"-Well your pregnancy test was positive."
"What?" Four asks.
"Well, i've probably had a miscarriage since then."
"Champagne tastes fungal to pregnant people." She adds.
Oh no.
"Let's go." Four says.
I stand up and he grabs my hand and pulls me out the door.
We run out to the stairs and Four sweeps me up and carries me up.
I laugh.
He runs past people cleaning and drunk people.
He weaves between leaders and kids.
We turn the corner to the infirmary and he runs in.
He runs to the desk and says:
"Four."
She nods and stares at us wide-eyed.
By now i'm hysteric.
He finds an empty room and lays me on the bed and locks the door.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Ultrasound."
"Oh."
He sits on the chair and unbuttons my dress.
I quickly slide it down my shoulders and rest it below my hips.
I lay down and Four runs to the cupboard and grabs a bottle of gel and a few other things.
He walks to the computer and flicks a few switches and walks over to my bed.
He squirts some gel on my stomach and looks at me.
"Are you ready?"
"Wait how do you know what to do?"
"I told you i'm unexpectedly good with computers."
I laugh and pull his head to mine.
We kiss and my hand rest on the back of his neck.
He cocks his head and opens my mouth with his.
We graze tongues and he twists and turns his.
I chase his and my prize is a hug.
He places his hands on my bare hips and starts to kiss my neck.
I shove my hands up his top and feel his back.
It is smooth but rough in certain places of his scaring.
"Ready?" I ask.
He pulls away and smiles.
He shows me his teeth again and they glow in the dimly lit room.
He nods.
He grabs a oddly-shaped object that is connected to the computer.
I look at the screen and it is black until Four switches the object on.
The screen has lines of grey and white.
I look at Four one last time before i know if i will be a mother or not.
With his spare hand he grabs my hand and i squeeze it tight.
He rolls the object on my stomach and it is cold at first but then i get use to it.
I look at the screen and see a black circle with grey in it.
I stop breathing for a moment.
The computer make a pulse noise that sounds like a heartbeat.
That my baby's heartbeat.
That our baby's heartbeat.
I turn my head to face Tobias.
He is already looking at me.
He smiles and close his eyes.
I grab his neck and gently pull it.
He opens his eyes and whispers:
"I love you."
"I love you too."
I kiss him slowly and lift our conjoined hands to my stomach.
I will be a mother.
He will be a father.
We will be a family.
"I'm pregnant."
~Olivia Prior