Spoiler alert: Random Shoes, Out of Time
Beta-ed: GlassSplinter
Gwen felt uneasy driving beside Owen. The last couple of days had given her some perspective on her life. How had she lost her grip on things? Why in hell did she think that Owen would provide some kind of resolution, sense to all the nonsense that was Torchwood? He was bitter and lost, and he dragged her down with him into some strange world where sex itself was the only purpose. That wasn't her; she wasn't that kind of person was she? Maybe it was all just shock, yes shock, it was shocking really to step into a new world full of unknown threats. But that was bullocks. She knew it was, because she loved the new world however disturbing it may be.
She found the three new people exciting, however sad it may be. It was better than ending up dead in a canal. They would meet new people and life would resume. The young girl Emma was so refreshing; spending time with her eased some of grief that Eugene had left behind. That loss had hurt her more than she cared to admit.
The time he would spend with her, the days that he followed her around were different from those before. Before she had felt lost and alone, unprotected, unable to sort things out and do the right thing. She was out of focus. At first she just had a nagging feeling, but as days passed the sensation grew stronger. She felt like she wasn't alone. Since she had started at Torchwood the solitude began to crowd her, she felt separated from her old world, even from Rhys. The thing with Owen made things even colder between them. She convinced herself that Rhys was as cheerful as usual, that she wasn't doing anything real. Owen was a part of the Torchwood universe; it was just something that she needed to stay sane. It wasn't like she was shagging Jack, it was just Owen, and Rhys would know he was better than him any day. So she carried on with it.
When she realized that Eugene was the one making her feel like herself again, she wanted him to stay, to love her and keep her together. But he was gone with his small remarks which she could hear like a whisper. His departure hurt and she felt unprotected and unloved. Owen didn't love her and Rhys didn't really know her anymore, he didn't know what she could do, and what could happen to them all. But she carried on stubbornly, trying to get it right, to just keep going, as if the wrong things could turn right. Still, she discovered that she didn't have the strength to turn things around.
Strange, but in the end that girl with a new job in her hands, cheerfully marching into the future gave her the strength to remember what's important. She was surprised at the amount of discomfort that she felt looking at her life through her eyes, it all seemed somehow wrong. She wouldn't approve of any of it. Except Rhys; Rhys seemed to be the one right thing, the person that persisted even when she left him for no apparent reason; Rhys with his endless and detailed stories, who seemed to look at her like she was the world, like she was precious. How could she ever forget that and exchange it for Owen's empty hunger.