A/N Sorry about the week long delay! It was my birthday so I have been pretty busy one way or another. I hope you enjoy, sorry its a tad short but it came to a good end, you'll see! Oh and I'm tracking #Shards of my soul on Tumblr if you want to get in touch with me. My name is Feinth on there too :)
The illusion had lasted a week. One practically perfect week. There had been furtive smiles across the great hall and little messages magicked into pockets. They had not seen each other out of lessons for fear of arousing suspicion, but it had still been good. Every smile brought a warm flutter to Draco's heart.
They had passed each other going through the library door when their hands had brushed accidentally. Harry had snuck out to watch the Slytherin practice under his cloak. He had whistled to Draco just before he left the pitch, making sure he knew he had been there. They were acting young and foolish but they didn't care.
Harry had had three more dreams about Draco. Each was very similar to the last. He would be up in the roofless tower. In the first one they had watched the stairs for hours, in the second they had been playing wizard chess. In the third they had simply lain wrapped around each other. Every dream ended the same way as the first, a breath away from a kiss.
The messages had been light-hearted and silly too. Slughorn had announced his party was rescheduled for the Friday before the Slytherin-Gryffindor match. Harry had jokingly asked if Draco would like to be his date. There had been banter about the match too and even a hint or two in potions.
The secrecy of their relationship added to the excitement of it all. Other than Ron and Hermione, no one knew a thing. Even they had no idea of the extent to their new found friendship. Harry had never found his relationship with Ron or Hermione to be so stimulating. He had never dreamt about kissing them either, but that was irrelevant. He had kissed Ginny of course, but somehow even the dreamt up promise of a kiss with Draco seemed to surpass that.
Draco was in the midst of composing a letter to Harry, inviting him back up to the Dark Tower when a letter arrived for him. The tap of the bird had caused his heart to jump, expecting Potter. It was with great disappointment he realised that the owl was the sleek Palau owl from home. Messages from home rarely brought him good news. He tore it open and recognised his father's handwriting.
Time is running out Draco, you have until the end of the month.
He felt sick. This couldn't be happening, not now. Not when he was happy at last. Still, he had known this was coming, known it all along. How stupid he had been to think that the stolen smiles with Potter could continue.
No. This would have to stop. Right now. The happy illusion was shattered.
.
.
Harry's mood was rapidly going downhill. The start of the week had been great, aside from Ron's refusal to meet his eye. By the time the next practice had rolled around thing we starting to slip. His team had still not forgiven him for skipping on practice without any explanation, and the iciness between himself and Ron was affecting everyone. To sour moods further it hailed relentlessly throughout practice.
When Harry staggered into the Great Hall, chilled to the bone, he looked straight to the Slytherin table. He had hoped that the site of Draco might have calmed him somewhat, he liked to see the blonde was doing just fine. What he saw did not indicate that Draco was doing fine however.
Malfoy looked paler than usual, drawn into himself. He stared blindly into the food before him and was completely motionless. It wasn't enough that anyone would notice without looking for it, but Harry could see it. He had spent the last few months watching Draco and knew that he would rarely sit so still unless consciously doing so. It was to avoid displaying any nervous habits that might be picked up on.
Harry longed to go sit over there and comfort him. It suddenly felt so ridiculous that he could not. Who gets to dictate that they shouldn't be friends? It felt so unfair. A deep anger was bubbling in him. They were barely more than children, yet here they were on the front line of war.
Dark grey eyes flicked up to meet green. Draco seemed to pale even more. He stood silently and left, cloak billowing behind him. Harry followed, leaving his food untouched. Draco was moving quickly, he managed to get down the dungeon steps before Harry made it out of the hall and into the common room before he had rounded the corner.
The wall stood solid between Harry and Draco. This time there was no way Harry could follow; his invisibility cloak was up in Gryffindor common room.
.
.
Harry had settled for sending a letter with Hedwig. He had begged Draco to meet with him at once, and then paced his dorm as he waited for a response. When Hedwig returned after an hour she did indeed hold a letter. The same letter Harry had written. She looked highly disgruntled.
Well enough was enough. Harry had seen Draco to close to the edge too many times before. He seized the invisibility cloak and left, with a sickening sense of déjà vu.
Harry slipped open the dorm door and slipped in silently. Draco sat on the bed head in hands. His shoulders shook minutely. The cloak fell to the floor as Harry stepped forwards.
The feather light hand on Draco's shoulder was what finally broke him. Giant sobs erupted from his chest and he sank further down on the bed. The light touch became a full on hug as Harry tried to protect him from this unknown pain.
"I can't do this Harry. We can't do this. You shouldn't be here."
"Shh. We will worry about that once you've calmed down a bit. It's okay. We are okay." Harry held Draco's head to him and stroked the silver hair. "I'm not going to let you suffer this on your own anymore. It's going to be okay." He kept muttering soothing words until finally, slowly, Draco's sob subsided.
"I'm sorry. That was… disgraceful. I always lose my composure around you."
"There is no need to apologise. I don't mind. Honestly!" Harry added when Draco scowled. "I see a side of you that no one else does. In truth I should feel honoured."
"No one should see this side of me."
"Emotions do not make you weak, Draco, if anything they make us stronger."
"They cloud your judgement and make people reckless. They make people weak." Harry opened his mouth to argue some more but Draco stopped him. "You'd don't understand. The emotions you get are joy and love, pride and success. I'm not saying you don't know fear or sadness, I'm just saying you feel more than them. I don't get to enjoy those things."
"Why not? Why can't you feel friendship and love?"
"Because I am a Deatheater! I work for a lord who forbids and destroys such things. He doesn't want happy servants."
"You may bare his mark but you are not his. You can feel anything you allow into your heart Draco. Please, I meant what I said, I want to be here for you. I want to provide you with joy, love even. Please, don't shut me out." Silent tears rolled down Harry's face. It may not have been a confession but it was enough to make Draco's heart shatter. Love from Harry was like a rainbow, beautiful and promising but unreachable.
"I will never be anything but his. His venom has infected me. I can never be yours."
"How can you give up so easily?! Why don't you even attempt to fight, to see what could be!" Harry erupted. "You don't deserve this! It is infuriating, every time I think I'm getting through to you I'm throw back again."
"I'm broken! Maybe I didn't deserve this, but it's too late now. I have been shattered into so many pieces. I'm like that mirror, broken beyond repair and capable only of harm. The shards of me will cut anyone who comes close."
"You're wrong. You may be broken but not for good. I don't mind getting hurt a little along the way if it means saving you from this hell your living in."
"Harry-" But Draco got no further. Harry had pressed his lips firmly against his own. They were chaffed from the cold yet still warm against his own. It felt wonderful and filling and at the same time wrong. He was wrong, he would never be any good for Harry. He pulled away from the warmth.
"Obliviate." Draco whispered softly. He saw a flicker of hurt cross Harry's eyes before they glossed over. The passion left them, replaced with nothingness. "I'm sorry." Tear tracks stained Draco's face, and they were the last things Harry saw before he was stupefied and carried his dorm under the invisibility cloak. He had gotten the end of his kiss at last, but now he would never remember it.
Malfoy laid him gently by the vacant portrait hole and left the cloak by his side. The tiny shards of his heart were left there too, laid bare on the flag stones. Some things after all we not meant to be.