*I don't own Harry Potter or any recognizable characters
It has been several weeks since my rebirth, and so far it's been… interesting.
I was pleasantly surprised to see my new mother try her best to keep up with Lucius and I, rather than just dumping us onto nannies and wet-nurses like I half expected her too. Unlike Abraxas, who definitely acted like the type of father I expected him to be, she was more than willing to tackle our dirty diapers (although she did use her wand- not that I blamed her, honestly) and should one of us cry more often than not she would be either the first or second person on the scene. Granted, my twin was one demanding baby (Draco's attitude in the first few books make so much more sense, now), however the Lady Malfoy tried to give us both equal attention.
If, though, for some reason Jacquelle Malfoy couldn't take care of either of us right away you can bet that the house elves would. Let me tell you, their looks were one thing the movies got right. Especially when it came to a certain house elf that I hadn't expected to meet for quite some time.
Dobby, after all, had always seemed like a more recent addition to the Malfoy household then he apparently was. Then again, right now it's very obvious that he is a young elf due to the fact that he has that gangly teenager look about him.
Let me tell you, I crapped my diaper when I first heard the name of Harry's loyal friend summoned by my new mother while she was feeding Lucius, and when he took me to the nursery to change said diaper I just stared in wonder at his face. This was the elf, after all, that won the heart of the entire fandom and had one of the saddest deaths in the entire series at the hands of that bitch Bellatrix Lestrange.
He was also the first being to make me ponder as to how my presence here in Wizarding Britain might change things. After all, when all of us Potterheads first met Dobby he had already been in my twin's service for quite some time, and thus tried to thwart the diary plan any way he could (by mostly trying to 'help' Harry) when the time came. This Dobby, though, quite obviously was happy to be a Malfoy elf.
Well, if it was Lucius who had caused Dobby to rebel, then I needed to ensure that my twin wouldn't grow up to be like that.
As soon as this thought crossed my mind, I balked. I knew the arguments surrounding changing what you knew- Doctor Who, amongst other things, taught me that should you try to mess with established events you'll probably end up screwing the Universe ten times over. But then again, it wasn't like I had suddenly arrived into this world as a full-grown adult. Nope, as much as the Universe was concerned I was born into this world, and thus was now officially a part of it.
It's a good thing I was still a baby, then, for that alone gives me time to answer the hugest question of my existence- to change, or not to change?
I will have to say, though, that the more time I spend around Lucius, the more I'm almost tempted to screw with what I knew to be canon. Despite his demanding ways, he has definitely wormed his way into my heart- not that it was hard, anyway, considering that in my old life I had considered Lucius an interesting character. Our bond that had started in our mother's womb definitely has not diminished in any way, and more often than not should you find one of us the other isn't too far away.
I'd also bet a thousand Galleons that this twin bond would affect our magic in some way. I can already feel what has to be my magic occasionally flowing through my body, but sadly there isn't enough yet to do anything fun with it- believe me, I tried.
Anyway, on this particular day Lucius and I were under Dobby's watchful eye in our nursery play area. From what I could overhear, apparently Mother had some business to take care of while Father was waiting for somebody important to arrive. While Lucius was busy taking a nap and cuddling his plush dragon (which was curled up as if in sleep as well), I was quietly playing with the animated plushie unicorn I had gotten, which was easily my favorite toy- hey, when it actually moves like a real animal, you better believe that despite my mental age I was excited when I got it. My current goal was to try and follow it- easier said than done, considering that while I knew how to crawl my current limbs weren't coordinated enough to do so. At this point, though, I was slowly starting to get the hang of the army shuffle (which honestly looked more like a worm slowly inching its way across a sidewalk, but considering that I was independently mobile I was going to count it as a win).
My concentration was broken when I heard Dobby suddenly leave with a quiet 'pop', leaving Lucius and I alone. Huh, our father must've called him... I couldn't help but wonder why. Looking around, I realized that this was a golden opportunity to practice sitting up on my own. After all, one shouldn't appear too advanced unless you're willing to take on the burden of being known as a genius- the Naruto series taught me that. How could I avoid looking like a genius? Well, I always waited until Lucius did a thing (like rolling around) before I revealed that I could do that same thing. Saves me so much effort.
Ok... roll onto my back… position my arms accordingly… and now to push my upper body up—
The sound of hissing laughter burst my bubble enough that whatever minute progress I had made was instantly lost. Rolling back onto my stomach, I wriggled around to see who that rude person was.
Needless to say that when I came face to face with a giant snake I froze. Half from surprise, and half from survival instincts. After all, even though I like snakes I know better than to be anything but cautious when said snake is big enough to actually eat me.
While this snake was huge, however, it was also gorgeous. Jet black with slight blue highlights, the scales shone in a way that this snake was obviously very well cared for. With the snake being at least twenty feet long, though, my gut was telling me that this beauty was probably a magical species as well.
So… considering the world I've been born into, I guess I know who's visiting my father right now. Great…
"Aw, and I was enjoying the show."
Did this snake just talk?
"Come now, hatchling, amuse me some more."
Nope, I'm hearing things.
"Master's busy with one of his pets, and I'm bored…"
Nuh-uh. Malfoys are most definitely NOT Parselmouths. Even in my old life, I never came across a fanfiction that said the Malfoy line could become Parselmouths- but then again, the amount of Harry Potter fanfictions would make it impossible for me to have read them all… STILL. There's absolutely no way that I'm understanding what this snake is saying.
"Entertain me, hatchling, or else I'll bite you to see if you're worth eating!"
Goddammit.
I wriggled away from the obviously spoiled snake while ensuring that I stayed between she(well, I think it's a she, anyway, from the sound of her voice) and Lucius. As I did so, I refused to move my eyes away from her face.
Thankfully, she seemed to find this amusing as she teased, "How funny, the hatchling thinks it's a snake." At this, I couldn't help but glower at the wretched thing. Stupid spoiled snake… oops. Apparently, she had taken notice of my glower's timing. Slithering closer, the snake mused, "Oh? Can the hatchling actually understand me? Come now, hatchling, prove to me that you understand my speech!"
"Isis, move away from Abraxas' children," came the sudden order of Lucius' and my new savior.
As the newly named Isis turned towards her owner, I rearranged my face to look appropriately baby-ish as I looked up to see who could only be Tom Marvolo Riddle stride into the room. I was surprised to see that he still looked relatively human at this point (and may I just say it is weird seeing him with a nose…) but those red eyes are a dead giveaway to his identity. Admittedly, though, they oddly worked with those handsome features that I never thought I'd see him with… maybe the snake face came with the next Horcrux he's bound to make? Then again, that's only if I choose not to change anything in the timeline I know.
"But Master—"
Flicking red eyes back down at Isis (who had slithered back to his side), Voldemort hissed back, "Isis, I do believe I had told you to behave, didn't I?"
"But—"
"And behaving means not terrorizing the children of the people I still need, correct?"
Ok, as much as Isis had already annoyed me, I'll have to admit that was pretty hypocritical of Voldy considering his treatment of Draco in the books. Then again, though, he still has a nose at this point so maybe that particular moral is still somewhere deep in that fractured soul of his… My attention was momentarily distracted when my father picked me up as nonchalantly as he could as to not offend the resident Dark Lord. In his eyes, though, I could see the worry that I had been hurt in some way. I couldn't help but smile at him to show that I was okay, then turned my attention back towards the Parseltounge conversation.
"Yes, but—"
"Silence. Since you obviously didn't obey my instructions, this means no rabbits when we get back home."
When I saw Isis' face turn into a pout, I stuffed my fist in my mouth to suppress my giggles of glee. As I did so, my father made sure I was secure in his left arm before he stooped to pick up Lucius with his right. My twin was roused slightly when he was picked up, however seeing our father and me must've allowed him to fall right back asleep as Abraxas managed to shift him into a comfortable position while barely using the hand that held me (which, I had to admit, was an impressive trick and made me wonder if any other parents with infant twins knew how to do it).
Seeing that Isis was properly chastised, Voldemort turned his attention towards the three of us. For a moment, I debated on meeting his eyes… but then I remembered that he knew Legilimency, and even though he had told his snake off for 'terrorizing' us I still wouldn't put it past him to take a peek inside a child's mind. Eventually, I settled for staring at his nose (which was still just so weird seeing).
"My Lord, I'd like to introduce you to my Heir Lucius, and my Heiress Lucretia," my father formally addressed him.
I appropriately chewed on the fist that was still in my mouth as the man who had killed so many in his pursuit to avoid death (which, now having experienced it myself, I can honestly say is dumber than saying the earth is flat… wait, do purebloods know this fact, considering their general lack of knowledge on muggle science? God, I hope so…) commented, "Heiress, Abraxas? Isn't it enough that you have an heir in Lucius?"
Must. Not. Glare. At. Obvious. Sexism…. How can I ensure that I don't reveal my mental age while satisfying my sense of female empowerment… Aha!
Lucius awoke to the sound of me blowing raspberries at the Dark Lord, who had a friggin' hilarious confused face at my actions. I didn't care, though, for it was VERY therapeutic and appropriately baby-ish. To make it even more hilarious, my twin apparently decided that what I was doing looked like fun, and proceeded to blow his own raspberries.
As the two of us had a raspberry blow-off (which had my inner Potterhead just chortle with glee at the thought of Jason Issacs as an adult Lucius being forced to do the same), Abraxas decided to ignore us as he answered, "Well, with what you told us during our Hogwarts years about what the Muggles were doing I figured it couldn't hurt to name them both Heirs in case something happened to one of them."
Okay, Abraxas had balls of steel to remind the Dark Lord of his Muggle upbringing to his face. Why didn't any of the fanfictions focus on HIM?
"However, since he is the firstborn Lucius remains the primary Heir to the Malfoy Lordship," our father continued, raising my respect for him even further as he seemingly ignored the minefield that any Potterhead knows to be wary when crossing.
Riddle must be saner than I thought, though, for he only gave a nod of understanding at our father's reasoning. Huh, considering what I knew of his past I never would've thought he'd let ANY mention of his Muggle heritage slide considering the lengths he went to in order to hide it… either my father was closer to him than anybody knew, or the money must've been better than I thought.
"Would you like to hold either of them, my Lord?"
Wait, what did my father say?
"Lucretia, especially, is usually very easygoing when it comes to others holding her."
I stopped blowing raspberries and looked up towards Abraxas, hoping that this offer was a mere jest. Judging by the look on his face, however, he was being completely serious. It crossed my mind that my father probably doesn't have any idea what he is doing. Last I heard, Voldemort doesn't do babies, so naturally I bet the answer will be—
"If what you say is true, then I'd be willing to hold your daughter."
A FRIGGIN' YES?!
As I was transferred into Tom's arms, for the first time ever I tried desperately to soil my diaper. If there's one thing I've learned in my previous life, it's that should a diaper change be imminent most people will instantly transfer the owner of said diaper back to the parents, and there's no way I want Voldemort holding me when I can't do squat about it.
Sadly, though, baby bodies sometimes betray even the owners, and I was adjusted until eventually the Dark Lord could hold me comfortably. If this isn't awkward for a Potterhead, I don't know what is… no, wait, having Voldemort stumble into my bedroom while I'm changing would have to be more awkward for MANY reasons, so never mind. Either way, though, I still felt awkward at the current situation.
Stupid characters, though, breaking all my previously conceived notions of them… having failed the diaper plan, I admit I debated if I wanted to throw a needless tantrum just to get away from Voldemort. However, when I glanced at my darling father I could just see that he was hoping that I wouldn't do that sort of thing and… well, I just couldn't do it.
Glancing back up at Riddle, he and I then proceeded to stare at each other. Well, he stared at me and I stared at his nose- still not gonna trust him to not try Legilimency with a baby for various reasons, after all. I could hear Lucius emit a sound that was obvious he was curious about this mysterious stranger holding his twin.
Okay, this was getting a bit awkward. I forced myself to look away, and stuffed my right thumb in my mouth to look appropriately baby-ish. My eyes wandered around the room, hoping to find something to focus on.
Once my eyes spotted Isis pouting, I had the irresistible urge to dole out some revenge for her threats to bite me now that I was safely in someone's hands. Waiting until she realized I was staring at her, I took my thumb out of my mouth as I manipulated the fingers to keep up the façade of not knowing what I was doing. I eventually managed to deliver the piece de resistance with flipping her off by having my middle finger on my nose while my other fingers were hanging around my cheeks and chin.
Oh, that enraged hiss was music to my ears. I quickly removed my hand from my face and whimpered, as if I was scared by the sound she had emitted. To further the illusion, I curled my head into the Dark Lord's chest, as if I was hiding from her. Sure enough, Tom rose to the bait of my manipulation.
"Isis, quit scaring the hatchling. Just because you're jealous that she's in my arms doesn't mean that you can act out," he rebuked, quickly glancing over at her.
Reluctantly obeying her master, I could just barely make out her grumblings at how unfair her dear Master was being as she curled up tighter around herself while constantly watching me. Even though I knew that this would probably bite me in the butt later on in life, I smirked at her. Maybe she'll take this as a lesson to not be so spoiled... eh, probably not. Either way, it made me feel better.
Suddenly, I was jolted out of my reverie when I was transferred out of Voldemort's arms back into my father's. As Father laid both Lucius and I back down in our little play area, I rolled over and observed the two wizards. Turning away, the two made to return to wherever they had come from before entering the nursery. At first, Isis seemed to be content to stay in the room (probably to follow through on her threats to bite me), however a sharp hiss from Tom forced her to follow him.
Just as they were about to go out of sight, I focused on Isis as I hissed, "Bye Bye!"
Voldemort and Isis' heads turned back so quickly they must've gotten a touch of whiplash. To hide the fact that yes, I did in fact just use Parseltounge, I proceeded to scrunch up my lips and make random sounds.
In that moment, as they eventually turned away with suspicion in their eyes, I had two epiphanies. One- by me knowing Parseltounge without a legitimate reason and being the twin sister of an influential character, chances were high that I was… ugh… what many fans call a Mary Sue. Two- it was way more entertaining than it should be to mess with Voldemort without him realizing what I was up to, and chances are messing with Dumbledore would have similar results.
Finally, I had come to a decision: look out Wizarding World, it's time for me to have some fun!
A/N: So, originally this chapter was supposed to be posted on April Fool's Day, however certain characters *cough Voldy cough* didn't quite want to cooperate. As for Isis... well, I always thought that Nagini was a more recent addition to Voldemort's arsenal (after all, how would she know to travel across the icy English Channel and travel to Albania when Voldemort blew up that Halloween night?), so Isis is her substitute. And yes, eventually I'll have to kill her off... but that won't be for a while yet. Oh, and yes I had originally planned on having Voldy unconciously trigger Lucretia's accidental magic with his own, however that had to be changed. It may show up later, though.