Gwen's point of view. Thnx for new reviews, I love them :)

Spoiler alert: End Of Days

Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian

While Gwen drove there was silence in the car. Gwen was empty. She has lost everything she believed was hers, she has lost her ability to see clearly what's right and what's wrong. The line between has become blurry. She forgot that there was a time when she believed in a higher force, in meaning, in punishment. She had her strong inner sense of right and wrong, that had always led her through life, through her police work, but in Torchwood she had gotten so entangled that she couldn't see the world like she had before. Everything was turned upside down and it was hard to comprehend what that meant for her life, for the people around her. She let herself slide, to get detached from Rhys, to think she could live life inside of Hub like Tosh did. Jack had warned her that things were drifting, and she had fixed it. But now, now she was just a shell on the waves hoping that Rhys was home, that he wasn't underneath Abbadon's shadow when he went storming through the town. Rhys was her home, her place where she could go back to. He knew her the way she was before, sweet, innocent, and good and she could be that person with him, cheerful and loud. She wasn't sure if she could find that person with someone else, nor could this new serious and scared Gwen love anyone like she loved Rhys.

When Gwen sat beside Rhys's body she finally could clearly see what he represented in her life. She had always underestimated him, partly because he'd done it too. He was the thing that kept her going, the man that believed in her even when things weren't going the way he'd like. In that moment Gwen finally understood how solitude felt, how the rest of them felt all day long. They had all lost someone they loved, all of them. They have lost themselves that were loved. Those persons who were loved were someone completely different than those pale people leaned against the wall. She would be someone just like that if she lost Rhys. Her world would become a gray and sad place and she would have to flee from it, probably into her work like they did, but no, not her, she wouldn't become that, she couldn't do that.

When Gwen realized that she had stormed on Jack with all her power to demand, with all her power to find solution to a problem. She was so full of rage towards him, he tricked her into joining Torchwood. He promised her adventure, he promised she would be able to protect people, to help and to serve, not to watch the world fall apart.

That's why when Owen came to open up the Rift Gwen had followed him. Her need to have Rhys in her world was so strong that she forgot her need to protect, to serve. She had given so much; it was't fair to be rewarded with this kind of loss. Her actions had purpose again as she typed passwords and protocols without thinking. When Owen shot Jack all she could think of was how they needed to keep going.

Gwen wasn't worried about Jack, he could survive anything, she had seen it many times before, and she had even drowned him at his demand. But after she pulled Jack out of the Hub Abbadon had roared at them and everything changed once again. The right became wrong, and wrong right, all those people had died just because she wanted Rhys back. Gwen did what she had gotten really good at, she adjusted her view and asked Jack for a solution. She was calm, after all Jack had solution; they just hadn't had faith in him until now.

In the car she thought about it all, she still wanted for Rhys to be safe, but she wanted the world to be safe also. She brought Jack to an open space and suddenly realized what the solution was.

"I am all you can eat buffet" said Jack and suddenly she didn't want to let go. Maybe this was too big, maybe he couldn't survive this, but he pushed her away and she obeyed. She cried while she watched the light coming out of Jack. It looked so painful, but it was Jack she told herself he would overcome this, he had to. After Abbadon fell and everything went down to normal she ran towards Jack. His body was so still and when he didn't revive in a half an hour she had to call Owen to help her move him into the safety of the Hub. There he could revive in peace.