Thanks everyone who reviewed, faved or followed last chapter. And now, those of you who have been waiting for some Armin/Connie, this is the chapter where it starts coming through :3
The Dauper Public Library was mostly empty that morning. It was 11 o'clock. All the books had been shelved. Notifications of fines had been put in the mailbox for the postal service to send to their unfortunate recipients. The current periodicals had been updated, the kids' room was clean, there were no inter-library loan requests or other emails.
A singular elderly woman browsed a lingerie site on one of the library's ancient patron computers.
Armin Arlert was a bored man. He couldn't even crack open any of the myriad fascinating books around him. Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink. If he was caught reading on the job (the head librarian, for some reason, liked to frequent the library as a patron on her days off) he probably wouldn't have a job anymore.
He was slumped over the circulation desk, eyes half open, when a short young man with close-shaven hair walked in through the front doors, looking noticeably more energetic than him. Armin perked up instantly.
"Heya, I just want to return these." he said.
"Sure thing!" Armin said.
Gosh, he probably sounded like an idiot.
Connie sat the stack of paperbacks on the desk in front of him. A variety of well-endowed heaving bosoms decorated the worn covers, and, lest the authors be accused of sexism, were equally well-matched by a plethora of strong, muscled tan chests. Lots of poet-sleeved shirts fluttered in the wind.
"So, did you enjoy uh, The Pirate's Bedouin? Did you like that or The Yearning Night better?" Armin asked.
He typically asked patrons if they liked the books they were returning, but he had to admit his motive wasn't guiltless. He wanted to see how the man reacted.
"Uhhh, I'm just returning these for my mother!" Connie said. His face turned red.
"Oh, that's so nice of you." Armin said sweetly.
Armin handed him back his library card.
"Would you like some recommendations this week?" he asked.
"Uhh, actually there was something else I was hoping to talk to you about."
"Oh?"
"See uh, I was wondering if you'd want to go out sometime, maybe get to know each other better..."
"You don't even know my name." Armin pointed out.
"But you know mine!" Connie pointed out quickly. "It's on my card, after all." he grinned in what he hoped was a charming manner (but which actually looked goofishly lecherous).
"Well, mine's on my name plate." Armin said, tapping the metal desk holder with a gold-plated tag bearing the name "Armin Arlert" on it.
"Armin huh? That's kind of a funny name."
"This from a guy named Connie." Armin said, rolling his eyes.
"Heh. Well, now that we've been properly introduced...huh? huh? How about it?" he asked.
"Sure, why not? But you have to take me somewhere I want to go." Armin said.
"Oh anywhere's good." Connie said. He just hoped Armin didn't want to go to a super fancy restaurant or anything.
"Good, I've been wanting to go the Botanical Gardens in Yalkell; they have a desert plants exhibit I've been dying to see."
"...Plants?" Connie asked doubtfully.
"That's not a problem is it?" Armin asked.
"Nope, not at all! I can't wait to go uh, see the cactuses and stuff." Connie said, with forced enthusiasm.
"When would you like to go? I'm off on weekends, and most evenings."
"Are you off this evening?" Connie was never one to needlessly delay gratification.
"Yes. "
The date was on.
The date was a far better experience than either one of them expected. Armin had assumed that Connie would have zero patience or interest in his more geeky little habits, but even if Connie wasn't an eager devourer of information, he turned out to be curious and interested in new things, even if those new things were cacti.
Connie, for his part, had assumed it would be a dull day of looking at a bunch of ugly cactuses and hearing spiels of unintelligible gobbledygook about plants, and like, photosyntha-whats-it-or-other, but some of the plants were actually pretty frickin' cool, and Armin was perfectly willing to talk about other things, like Connie's work, his family, the tv shows they both followed. They got onto the strangest topics, things that Connie had never really chatted without anyone about before, like how they felt about kangaroos, and whether The Simple Life had a deep, hidden meaning.
In fact, it was going so well, that he figured he could probably get away with a kiss. They were near the coryphantha recurvata, or golden beehive cactus, which in Connie's opinion, looked a lot more like a cluster of prickly boobies than like beehives. He took that as a good omen.
"And so then I told Eren tha-"
Connie cut him off rather abruptly, with his lips. He was still bracing against a slap; you could never tell with the shy, nerdy types. Some of them were really hella wild, others were more uptight, no tongue until the 3rd date types.
Armin apparently was not one of the latter, and didn't mind having his tale about Eren's silly antics cut short. He was a surprisingly take-charge kisser, which Connie was finding he didn't mind at all. Armin was trying to slide a hand up Connie's shirt when some (totally rude, in Connie's opinion) little brat yelled "Ewww, kissing!" from right behind them.
Armin pulled away. Connie looked over his shoulder and spotted the kid, an obnoxious little snot wearing a Shiganshina Braves t-shirt, pointed at them. He flipped the kid the bird.
"Connie." Armin said.
Connie raised his other hand up and flipped the kid a double bird, one for him, and one for Armin, since they'd both been deprived of a smoking hot make-out session next to the booby cactuses.
At that point the kid's mother waded in.
"What did you just do in front of my son?" the large woman with the elegantly styled hair snapped, getting up in Connie's face.
"He started it! The little snot—" Connie protested.
"How dare you?" she yelled.
Loudness, and many more hand gestures and curses were exchanged. Then security came. Connie and the boy's mom were still yelling heatedly in each other's faces, but upon seeing the security guards approaching, the woman abruptly went silent. As the guards neared them, she raised her face slowly. Tears streamed down it, and she whimpered.
"This young man just started cursing, yelling obscenities at me and my son."
"You lying bitch—"
Then Connie and Armin were escorted out and asked to kindly never return to the Yalkell Botanical Gardens.
"Like I'd want to come back here! You people are sick! You see those cactuses? They look like boobs!" Connie shouted angrily, as the security guard dragged him along.
Armin, who had chosen to walk out peaceably under his own power, facepalmed.
Well, that was probably the end of his hot librarian fantasies.
When they got into the car though, Armin started shaking. Connie put his hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, concerned.
"AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Connie pulled back.
Tears were streaming down Armin's face, but they were of joy. He actually found what had happened to them funny? Connie couldn't believe his luck. He started the car, and pulled out, heading for the highway back to Dauper.
"That was hilarious." Armin said, once his laughter had subsided.
"Yeah, I guess? Did you see the look on that cow's face when I called her a **** ****ing ****?" Connie asked.
"Yes! But we shouldn't laugh. I mean, all she knew was that you were flipping her son off. She didn't know he was being an obnoxious little shit."
"Hey, librarians can't swear!"
Armin stuck his tongue out at him.
Now that was a distracting sight. A bright flash of pink tongue from that soft, sweet face. So distracting, in fact, that Connie didn't even realize the car was veering off the road until it hit the portion of the shoulder that was grooved to disrupt the vehicle.
"Whoa!" Connie yelped, and steered the car back on course.
"I guess I should be the one driving." Armin said.
"Hey, I'm a perfectly good driver when I don't have hot librarians distracting me."
It was kind of true. Even if he had failed the driving test three times, he was still much better when there weren't cute girls around to distract him with their tongues.
"I'll just have to behave then...till we get back to my place." Armin said coyly.
Connie couldn't believe his ears. He was going to L-U-C-K-Y tonight? Armin was some kind of sex angel sent from heaven. He pushed his foot down on the accelerator; what the hell, everyone did 90 on this road anyway.
"Hey, I hope you don't rush like this to get to the good part all the time." Armin said.
He'd never gotten back to Dauper so fast before though. Connie had to drop back down to 30mph once they were within the town limits, and he felt every second keenly. He kept glancing over at Armin as he drove, as if trying to figure out some puzzle.
"Eyes on the road Connie. Do I have something on my face or something?"
No, Connie was just waiting for Armin to say "Psych! Like I'd screw a loser like you." or something but it never happened.
Connie parked his mother's blue sedan on the side of the quiet residential street outside the little house Armin shared with his grandfather. It was all Connie could do to not run to the porch, but it wouldn't do to look too eager, and besides, Armin had the key. So he followed Armin (who seemed as calm as if they were going in for brunch) sedately into the bungalow.
Armin flicked the lights on in the foyer.
"Oh, I guess I should ask...is your grandpa home?" Connie asked.
"Would I be bringing you in here if he was?"
"Uhhh...I guess not?"
"He's out of town for a Veteran's gathering in Chlorba, so we have the place to ourselves." He was smiling.
Connie followed him into the living room, stopping when Armin did. He turned toward him, and Connie expected him to offer him coffee, or even wine (Armin was a classier kind of girl than he usually dated). Armin though, apparently shared Connie's penchant for rushing to the good stuff, and his loathing of delayed gratification.
Armin wrapped his arms around Connie's waist and kissed him furiously. Connie was taken slightly aback; he hadn't expected his sweet nerdy little librarian chick to be such an animal. Lead? She'd never give him the chance.
Then again... as Armin shoved him onto the couch and slipped a hand down his jeans to grab a handful of skinny, firm cheek, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Armin was leading him only to good places, and he was oh so willing and ready to follow...
His t-shirt had gotten off somehow (damn, where did a librarian learn those skills?) and his pants were on their way, when the phone in his back pocket starting ringing and vibrating.
Connie unglued himself from Armin's lips while he dug it out and checked the screen.
Sasha Braus...of course. He'd had his phone turned off most of the day, needing complete focus to egg himself up to asking Armin out, and then afterwards when he'd called her, she hadn't been answering his calls. He had sent her a quick text before he'd left for Yalkell though, and now she must want the details. There was no way either he or she could have guessed that he'd get invited to stay over. He hit cancel and the phone stopped ringing. His eyebrows rose in surprise as he looked at the screen.
"49 missed calls from Sasha Braus...Jesus Christ. I don't get service in Yalkell, she must have been calling the whole time."
"Just turn it off." Armin said.
"I don't know, maybe it's an emergency." Connie said, doubtfully.
Armin had no doubts. He grabbed the phone out of Connie's hand and pressed the power down button. The phone went silent, and he laid it on the coffee table.
"Now, back to where we were..." he said, smirking.
A clattering rattle resounded from the front door as someone pounded on it with all their strength. Connie could see it bouncing on its hinges.
"What is it now!?" Armin growled, aggravated.
He climbed off of Connie, aggravated. "I haven't been laid in four years, whoever that is better have a damned good reason for this."
He went into the foyer and threw the door open. Connie got up from the couch and trailed after him.
"What is it?" Armin snapped at the person standing on the porch.
Connie came up beside him. The porch light glinted off the tear-stained face of one Sasha Braus, town idiot and his best friend. Her eyes were red and her mouth quivered.
"Connie." she whimpered.
"Sasha, what the hell happened?" he asked, stepping forward and putting an arm around her. She burst into tears again. He ushered her inside. Armin huffed, but accepted that his chances of getting any now were zero, and went into the little kitchen to get drinks.
Connie led her to the couch, snatching his t-shirt up quickly and throwing it on while she sat down. Armin handed them both cans of Coke, and then sat down in the armchair across from them.
"It..." Sasha started. Her lip wobbled. She stared at the unopened soda can in her hands. Armin rolled his eyes and Connie shot him a dirty look.
"C'mon, spit it out Sasha. It can't be that mad."
"It's Mikasa...She's really mad and she says she never wants to see me again!" Sasha burst out.
"She's that mad over the bread?"
"Yes! I mean, no, but..." She buried her face in her hands.
"She didn't get the bread. I mean, she did, but she didn't even open it, let alone eat it."
"And?"
"And..." Sasha gasped, as if it were too painful to think about.
"And...she gave it to Eren." Sasha said, as if that explained everything.
"So?" Armin said.
"So..." Sasha groaned. "So the bread had a note with it saying I loved her and wanted to go on a date with her!"
"I still fail to see the problem." Armin said.
"Uhh, me either...I don't get it. Unless Eren's jealous that you like his sister?" Connie wondered.
"No! He doesn't know it was from me. I didn't sign it!" Sasha said.
"Oh. Ohhhhh." Armin said.
"What? I still don't get it." Connie said.
"I'm going to chalk that up to you not being that familiar with Eren and Mikasa's situation, okay?" Armin said.
"Sure, whatever. Just explain it."
"Well, I'm just guessing, but I would say that Eren assumed the bread was a gift from Mikasa, and that the note was from her as well."
"And?"
"And Eren is probably the one guy that does not desire Mikasa's affections. He's skeeved out by it."
"Why?"
"He feels that they're family, and it's not appropriate." Armin said.
He looked at Sasha, who had drawn her knees up to her chin and was hiding her face.
"Was I right about all that, Sasha?" he asked.
She nodded mutely, miserable.
"I don't see a reason why this can't be patched up with a few clarifying words to the right people. And I definitely don't see a reason why our date should have been interrupted." Armin said.
"Jeez, Armin, lay off her will you? She's really upset."
Sasha unfolded herself and looked up at them.
"You don't understand. She's really mad at me. They had a huge fight."
"They'll make up in their own time. They always do." Armin said.
"You really think so?" Sasha asked hopefully.
"I know so." Armin said firmly.
Sasha brushed at the few remaining tears on her face with the heel of her hand. Connie tossed her a tissue box firmly ensconced in a knitted pink cozy, and she dried her eyes.
"Oh, um, sorry about ruining your guys's date."
"It's fine." Armin said.
"Yeah, the night is still young." Connie seconded, winking.
"Heh." Sasha said, looking cheerful once more. "I guess I'd better get going and let you two continue getting acquainted, if you know what I mean."
"Did you bring a condom Connie-"
"GET OUT!" Connie roared.
Armin stifled a laugh. It was a hilarious sight, seeing the short, skinny bald man shoving the protesting girl out by force. Sasha even grabbed hold of the doorframe and wouldn't let go, and Connie had to pry her fingers off one by one.
Armin could still her hear her giggling on her way to her car as Connie slammed the door behind her.
"I didn't, actually." Connie said, sheepishly.
"Didn't what?" Armin asked, puzzled.
"Bring condoms."
Armin stood up and walked over to the hall closet. Connie could hear him rustling around with something.
"I had no idea how big your dick was so I even got Magnums."
"Jesus Christ Armin."
"Usually guys don't start calling me God till they have their pants off." Armin joked.
He tossed the boxes on the couch and strode over to Connie.
"Now, where were we..."
Where they had been was semi-undressed, with Armin's tongue so far down Connie's throat he was practically licking his liver, and Armin seemed eager to get there again.
Smirking seductively he lowered himself into Connie's lap. Connie kind of wished it was the other way around. Armin was heavier than him. Still, it wasn't as bad as that time he'd slept with Reiner's sister. Who'd turned out to be Reiner in a dress. That had been a wild party...Armin was a better kisser than Reiner too, not that he'd ever say that aloud. Armin was more patient and slow this time, careful explorations and tender nibbling. His hands left only the most gentle pressure on Connie's chest. He wondered why Armin had changed his approach. He didn't mind it though. Sasha's tears had acted like a bucket of cold water on his libido. It was hard to want to pound someone into the mattress (or in this case, couch) after seeing your best friend that upset. He liked Armin, a lot, but would he have spent hours crying and upset if Armin had shot him down at the library?
Connie ran his fingers through Armin's hair, kind of regretting that he'd shaved his own head recently, denying Armin the chance to do the same. It didn't matter, he supposed. His hair was nothing like Armin's: it was all spiky and coarse, nothing like the cool silkiness of Armin's gold locks.
Connie broke off from the kiss after a moment. He was still thinking about Sasha.
"Hey Armin..."
Armin groaned. "What?"
Connie could see he was trying to be patient with him, but Armin still looked annoyed.
"You really think Eren and Mikasa will make up soon?"
"Pfft. No."
"What?!" Connie pushed Armin off of him.
A look of anger flashed across Armin's face, but he decided to let it pass. The sooner they were done with the tiresome Sasha issue the sooner they could get back to business.
"When Eren gets a hair on his ass over something, he never lets up. There's no way he's just going to forgive her now that he's pissed." he explained.
"Then why the hell did you lie to Sasha?"
"To get rid of her, obviously."
"What?" Connie looked at Armin like he was out of his mind. "What the hell, Armin?"
Armin felt just the tiniest bit defensive. He was sure he hadn't done anything wrong, but Connie's anger was off-putting.
"Oh come on," he said, trying to laugh it off. "You wanted rid of her too. She was interrupting us. She was kind of rude, if anything."
Connie stared at him. "Didn't you see how upset she was?"
"Um." How had Connie Springer of all people, the town igarbage man/i of all things, managed to make him feel like his back was against the wall?
"That's...not our problem?" he tried.
Connie shook his head in disgust.
"I thought you were a nice girl, but you're just an asshole." he said.
He snatched his keys up off the table.
"W...Where are you going?" Armin asked, shook up by quick turn of events.
"I'm going to see Sasha."
Armin watched him storm out of the small, over-decorated house where Armin had lived for most of his life. Connie slammed the door so hard behind him that the key rack by the door, wood exquisitely carved by Armin's grandfather years ago, fell from the wall and clattered to the floor.
"I'm not a girl." was all Armin could think to say, staring blankly after him.
How had things gone so wrong so quickly?
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