AN: Damn, thank you so much for all the support, guys! I'm glad you're enjoying this just as much as I am! It's awesome to hear the great feedback you guys have been dishing out :D And I know that I've bugged you guys before about this, but the petition to bring Lilly back is still up, and we need more signatures! If you'd like to sign it, please follow the link in my profile!
Just to note for this chapter, it's gonna contain a few different POV's, do I'm going to have them in bold so that you don't get confused. Now, let's check in on how Ellie's been doing…
…
Ellie's POV
I haven't stopped crying in two whole days.
Yep, you heard me right. Nothing but tears, sad times and more tears ever since Riley was taken away from me. Huh… it kind of seems selfish of me to say it like that, doesn't it? It's almost like she was one of my toys that the bad guys came and took away from me… but Riley wasn't a toy. Not even a little bit.
She wasn't made of plastic. She couldn't get thrown into the air and have nothing bad happen to her once she hit the ground. She couldn't have her arms and legs twisted around without having it hurt like… like hell.
And you know what? I wouldn't have traded her for anything.
Riley was the bestest friend I ever had – we played together even before we were big girls like I am right now. We always used to have so much fun living on the same street; throwing Frisbees into Mr. Johnson's swimming pool, chasing the stray cats around (at least until they started scratching back), and even that time where Riley got her shoe stuck in the fence when we were were trying to get out of Mr. Johnson's backyard.
Except that time, Mr. Johnson was trying to eat us.
Why do things have to be so big and scary now? Riley and I were super heroes, weren't we? Why did stuff have to get all messed up? Why does Riley have to be gone now? I want her to come back home with me!
That's what I've been trying to do for the past couple of days, you know. Closing my eyes tightly and wishing hard enough that all of this was a bad dream, and that Riley could poke me in the ribs and tell me to stop being such a little baby. I want her to bug me and call me stupid nicknames and tell me secrets that nobody else would be able to know.
I can't do any of that fun stuff anymore. Clementine says that we can't be kids anymore, but she's being as clear as mud! Isn't she still a kid too? Why does she have to act all grown up all the time?
Sniffling on the bed and bringing my knees closer to my chest, I wipe my nose with my sleeve (which is still way too big for me) as I see Tommy's shadow dance across the hallway floor. He's nice enough, I guess, and he's keeping this place safe from those monsters outside. But I don't know him very well, so I've barely said a word to the guy ever since Clem left with the others.
I miss her already… I hope Clementine comes back soon. I haven't felt this lonely in forever…
"Just checkin' in," Tommy knocks on the door with a saddened smile. That's what everyone does now when they're around me now – I don't like it! "So, uh… how're you doing, sweetheart?"
I make eye contact for only a brief moment before shrugging my shoulders and looking back down to the covers.
Nodding his head slowly while biting his lip, Tommy sits down on the edge of the bed as he folds his hands together. I'm too tired right now to tell him to get off, so he turns to me awkwardly before continuing. "I know it ain't a great time for ya right now, but if there's anything you need…"
Shaking my head no, I try to keep it all together as I hear the older man sigh deeply. I really don't feel like talking right now, but I hope he doesn't take it personally or anything. I've just been really sad lately and am trying my best to get over it.
"Well… I'll leave you to it, then," he says; patting my shoulder as he stands up to leave.
Before he can do that, however, I surprise him and even myself by stopping him in his tracks.
"…wait…"
Turning around, Tommy beckons for me to continue as I look up at him with fear-filled eyes.
"Tommy…" I say nervously, "are Clem and the others okay? I haven't heard from them in a long while."
Noting the hesitation on his face as he looks to the floor, I practically beg him with my eyes to tell me what I want to hear. I don't care if he's lying – I just want something to make the pain go away.
I need reassurance to make the achy pains go away.
"They're a tough bunch, that lot," Tommy tells me, which lifts my hopes up just a little bit. "There's a whole bunch of guys and gals in that group that can keep each other safe. I'm sure they're gonna be just fine."
"…okay…" I agree, knowing fully well that he doesn't have all the answers. I don't wanna see anybody else get hurt, but how are we supposed to know from over here?
But as I watch Tommy head back down the hallway and leave me alone in my room, with Riley's bed all freshly made and unoccupied, I know in my gut that I have to stay positive about all of this.
It's what Mommy and Riley would've wanted me to do.
….
Lilly's POV
"N-no… no more, please…" I beg pitifully, holding out a weak, shaking hand in a desperate attempt for this assault to stop. "I'll… I'll tell you anything… cough-cough… Just… just no more…"
Satisfied with the massive welts, cuts and bruises that she's left across my body – leaving me a completely beaten mess – Tracy hands the rod off to Joshua as she grabs me by the jacket roughly. Josh exits the room as per her request, giving me one last harsh look before making his exit. I shriek out in shrill pain as her other hand presses down on my thigh, but thankfully she stops as I'm flipped onto my back.
Jane… Clem… I'm so sorry…
"We were only there for a day!" I exclaim as I feel little droplets of sweat form on my forehead. "They… they have a whole group there… guns… ammo… food… We wanted to try and bargain with them… They should still be there… That's all I know…"
As the blood slowly trickles down from my nose, I watch as her grin goes from small to wicked within a small matter of seconds; indicating that something definitely isn't right here.
"Wanna hear a little secret?" she whispers to me, but I can't respond without at least something hurting within me. It hurts to breathe, let alone actually move around. "Here's the thing: I actually already know more about that grocery store than you do. So really, this whole begging thing was pretty unnecessary on your part."
"…what…"
"It was Josh's idea, so thank him if you want to be grateful to anybody. He's kind of a sick puppy, that one," she explains casually, as if she was just pulling up a weed or something. "Let me fill you in on something, Lilly – nobody here gives a rat's ass about you. You're alone – hell, even your friend Bo over there was saying how much of a piece of shit you were before we arrived. You're nothing; this is going to be your final resting place unless we're given what we've asked for. So get comfortable here, 'cause you're gonna be on death row for quite some time."
…no, that can't be true. I know my friends, and I know damn well that they haven't forgotten about me. Clem and Jane are my fucking family now, and families stick together through thick and thin. They… they wouldn't abandon me now…
There's no doubt in my mind that they would come back for me… I have to hold out on that sliver of hope.
"You're… lying…" I tell her defiantly, gritting my teeth as she continues to try and drill this notion in my head. "No… you're full of shit! They're coming… and they're gonna take you down…"
"Oh, I've got no doubt that they're gonna try coming for me soon enough," Tracy agrees, "and that's why I've sent people back to finish the job and kill every last one of them."
…oh god, no…
Feeling my heart drop as she whispers that so convincingly to me, my mind spins in a whirlwind of possibilities. Is she bluffing, or has she actually sent someone back to the grocery store?! Could Jane and Clem have their lives be in danger?!
God damn it! Must… get… up…
Groaning as my body refuses to cooperate and falls back to the floor, Tracy wipes some loose strands of hair out of my eyes as she stands to leave me in shambles. I've never felt so afraid in my entire life, and it's not even because I'm in danger. My life pales in comparison to Jane and Clem's, especially after all the shit that I've been doing over the past three or four years.
If something were to happen to them… I don't think I'd be able to live with myself.
"Make sure to keep an eye on the screens tonight," she mentions as an afterthought. "Wouldn't want to miss the action now, would we?"
I want to question what she means by that, but by the time I roll over to face her, Tracy's already closed the door behind her and left me in my own state of despair and misery. The way she said that sounded incredibly foreboding, but what could she possibly have been inferring just now?
I mean, the only thing that I see on the screen is the room where Bo…
"Fucking Christ…" I whisper, widening my eyes in realization.
…
Clem's POV
"Did you miss out on the little detail where your friend FUCKING DIED?!" Jane yells, slamming the crunched-up piece of paper on the ground as she points to Nikita's corpse sitting along the wall. At least she wasn't able to turn, but I just hope that it was quick and that she didn't feel any pain. "There's nothing difficult to understand about this! Drop our shit and let them come in! That's all there is to it!"
"We're not going to just give up all of our supplies for the miniscule chance that they'll give up your friend! We don't even know who you people are!" Racheal argues. I'll admit, she does have a bit of a point. Would we be willing to lay down our means of survival if we wanted to get somebody back that we didn't know? Probably not.
But this is Lilly, and I'm not giving up on her that easily.
"You could come stay with us, and we'll double the deal on those weapons!" I propose, trying to find a more peaceful solution that doesn't end up pissing anybody off. "Look, this group is dangerous, and they have two of our friends captive! That girl we have in there, Kazuki? Maybe we could try to trade her so that you don't have to give up all of your food! There's gotta be another way!"
Honestly, I can't believe that I just said that we could trade a human being away as if it was some sort of commodity, but fortunately nobody's paying it much mind right now. I'm not in charge of people's fates, and I really shouldn't try to be.
I don't want to end up like some sort of supreme ruler here. I've got to keep a level head…
"You guys don't understand… They're not the sort of group to negotiate with people," Emily admits, confirming my suspicions that they'd known these guys beforehand.
Clenching a small fist, I decide to call them out on that big detail, as well as what Kazuki told me earlier about the boy in their little group. "You knew these assholes already, and you never said a word!" I remark, working my way over to Jane's side. "Why would you lie about this?!"
"It's not as if it's any of your business anyways," Racheal fires back at me as I turn towards the boy in their group with a big secret of his own.
"And you," I point over at Zayne, "you've got some explaining to do – right now. I know that you're not supposed to be here, and that this isn't actually your group. You know that little girl in there, don't you? Why did these guys take you away from your old group?"
"You'd better fucking step off right this second," Racheal threatens me as I 'm shoved backwards a little bit. Jane instinctively reaches for her knife, but I tell her not to take it out of the sheath as I stare Racheal down. "You've got absolutely zero idea what you're talking about, so I'd suggest you drop it before this turns ugly. I don't hurt kids, but I've got absolutely no problem with putting you out in the street. Drop it."
Smearing out the wrinkle in my shirt from her pushing me, I glare at her, Emily and Zayne accusingly – that's practically all the evidence I need.
Seems that this group's got a bit of a history!
"Why would she lie to me in there then, huh? What would she have to gain from lying, and how the hell would she know his name?" I press on, watching as their little charade crumbles all around them. "Just tell us the truth here, guys! We need to know what's going on!"
"We've got a common enemy out there," Jane adds, having more than enough reason to hate this mysterious group's guts. "There's no sense in hiding any of this shit from us! If you know something, anything at all that might help us with dealing with these punks, then you have to tell us! Now, what's this about a kid getting kidnapped?"
"What did I just fucking say?!" Racheal snaps, shrugging off Emily's hand when she tries to calm her down. "No, not this time, Emily! We already put that shit to bed, and we don't need to bring it back! It's… it's not worth it…"
Seeming to realize that the cat's out of the bag on this one, Emily ignores Racheal's request as she frowns sadly at Zayne. For his part, the boy doesn't really look like he knows what to say anymore.
"It was a year ago now, I think…" Emily starts, rolling her eyes as Racheal groans in annoyance. "Look, if you're not gonna say anything, then I will! It's bad enough that we've got all of this raining down on our heads! So don't give me any hell right now, alright?!"
"Just shut up and keep going," Jane deadpans as Emily frowns at her.
"Fine… Anyways," she continues, "we were a much smaller group beforehand, probably only a handful of us were around. We found this grocery store and started setting up to keep the dead things from getting inside. Elliot, Racheal and I wandered around a little bit trying to find supplies and whatnot – kind of like what you guys were doing. What we stumbled upon was… well, it was a setup like nothing we had seen in a long while."
"It was a construction site," Racheal adds from her spot against the wall, probably figuring that it doesn't matter what they say now. "Think of it as a massive hole in the ground with metal pipes and shit holding it all together. There were bulldozers and pickup trucks and all sorts of vehicles just lying around for the taking. Too bad that there was already a group occupying it – they called themselves the Smugglers."
"Smugglers?" Jane repeats as I too get confused at the name. "What, like, thieves or something? Why would they want to be called that? Wouldn't that just be asking for trouble?"
Nodding her head, Emily explains that they must've thought that it would scare other people away and keep people from trying to take supplies away from they themselves. How that's supposed to work is anyone's guess, really, but I decide to cut the story short in order to get a little bit of background info on Zayne here.
"So why was he with them?" I question, noticing how the boy's been silent pretty much the whole time.
Wrapping an arm around the thirteen year old Emily ruffles his hair around a little bit fondly. Looks as though they've developed a pretty close bond.
"We found him getting yelled at outside the perimeter – "
"It was a bit more than just yelling I'd say, Emily," Racheal infers, gesturing over to Zayne as she speaks. "They were fucking the kid up for no god damn reason! They would've come close to beating him within an inch of his life if we didn't show up when we did."
Looking back in annoyance, Emily shakes her head at Racheal's lack of subtlety. "Gee, why don't we make the guy feel worse about it, Rach?"
Jane, noticing Zayne's hesitance and pensiveness, bends down on one knee in front of him to talk to the guy personally. "Look, kid," she starts, with me noticing that her anger has finally sizzled out a little bit. Replacing it now is mostly just worry and urgency. "Is that where their main base is? Is that where they would've taken Lilly and Bo?"
"If they were gonna be anywhere, that's the place I'd check first," he acknowledges, looking to Emily for reassurance. "I can take some people there, if you'd like? I think I can show us the way."
While Racheal frowns at the idea and shakes her head in disagreement, Emily steps in and says that they should at least check the place out. "There shouldn't be a whole lot of us going, though," she points out wisely. "They'll be able to tell if a whole platoon of armed survivors is lurking around their place – I'd say you bring three or four at the most."
As Emily and Zayne head inside to get some gear together, Racheal mutters something under her breath before shaking her head and walking back into the store; taking a glance back towards me before doing so.
Thinking nothing of it, I turn back towards Jane, who's looking as though she was just forced to keep all of her inner thoughts stuffed inside of her. Good thing, too – I don't think I'd be able to handle another meltdown from her today.
"They didn't even move the body," Jane comments with distaste, causing me to look over at the gross form of Nikita. "Didn't even budge it – just left her there for the flies to get at. It seems so… wrong."
"Maybe they just want Elliot to have some more time with her before they do something," I suggest, not really seeing any other reasoning behind it.
As Jane deeply sighs and runs her hand tiredly over her face, I squeeze her hand in support. It's not a lot, but it's all I can come up with at the moment. I don't think Jane needs or wants a hug right now.
That touch-feely stuff just doesn't really suit her unless the situation really arises.
"We're gonna find her, Jane. I know we will."
"…that's what I'm worried about," she admits, causing me to frown in worry. When she notices my staring, she clears her throat and goes on. "That we're gonna end up finding her carved up into tiny pieces, or devoured by walkers or full of bullet holes. I can't help but feel that I'm gonna find her and none of this is even gonna matter."
Secretly, that's actually what I'm worried about, too. The three of us have had pretty shitty experiences when it comes to strangers, with half of them trying to kill us and the other half trying to torture us. You only need to look at Jane's hand to see the extent of what they've done to us.
And it doesn't exactly help that neither of us are too sure about this new batch of people that we're dealing with.
"What do you want to do?" Jane questions, glancing back down at me. I hope I'm not always this much shorter than her… "If there's a chance to rescue Lilly, then I've got to take it no matter what. But do you think they're trustworthy? They haven't given us much to go on, and then we've still got someone else here to worry about…"
"Maybe we should bring Kazuki – "
"That's… not really who I was talking about," Jane remarks as realization hits me like a wall of bricks. "James still hasn't woken up yet, and who knows what'll happen when he does? I'm thinking… maybe you should sit this one out."
"Jane, that's not happening! I can't let you go out there alone!" I insist, not liking the idea of all three of us being separated from one another once again. It was bad enough the first time around – I'd rather not repeat the process so soon.
But, as per usual, Jane's set in her ways.
"We need to have someone here with a level head in case shit hits the fan," Jane advises, placing a hand on my shoulder as she gives it a light squeeze. "I can handle walkers just fine, but I don't have the patience to deal with people like Racheal in there. If she tries anything, we need a leader to set things straight around here. Please, Clem?"
Not bothering to hide the fact that I'm slightly proud of the compliment on my leadership skills, I sigh and reluctantly nod as she smirks back at me.
However, that thing about having a level head might be a bit… premature. I'm not so sure that description qualifies for me anymore.
"I'll be back before you know it, Commander Clementine," she nicknames me as I chuckle a little bit.
"Just make sure you're back in one piece, sis," I tell her; wrapping my arms around her shoulders even though I know she'll tense up… every single time. "Just be safe… and bring Lilly back to us."
…..
Walking back through the double doors, I close my eyes and lean back against the wall; trying to collect my thoughts and just breathe for a moment. That's all I want – just a little moment to myself every now and again. Is that too much of me to ask? I'd like to think that it's not, but lately that's been a luxury that I haven't been able to afford.
So, when the opportunity presents itself, I like to capitalize on it and savour each precious moment of silence.
"I think you need to change your tactics – they're not working."
Son of a bitch… really? Not even five seconds of alone time?!
Letting out an aggravated sigh, I turn towards Racheal, who's eyeing me like a hawk from her position on the second level. "What are you saying this time? Criticizing my every move is getting really annoying, you know."
"Agreeing to send them out there on their own like that is a mistake you can't afford," she continues, as if she didn't even register my voice at all. "Going out on a wild goose chase for a dead girl is a massive waste of time."
"Lilly's more durable than you might think. They'll find her, you'll see."
"And when they come up short? What then?" she pressures me, trying to make me see things from her perspective. "Your friend, what's her name… Jane? I saw the way she reacted when they took Lilly away – recklessness. That gets you killed in no time at all, and sending her instead of you was definitely not a smart move."
"If we did things your way," I point out with scorn, "then we'd be sitting around on our asses doing absolutely nothing. I'm not willing to leave Lilly behind! She's my friend, and I'm not abandoning her!"
Shaking her head, Racheal puts one arm over her knee as she rolls her eyes. "This is why you don't put fucking kids in charge of things… They've got no idea what they're doing."
Feeling a bit of loathing towards this woman, I clench my fists tightly and restrain myself from doing what the voices are telling me – pulling out a gun and shooting her on site. A small part of me actually feels like listening to Carver and Troy for once, but I have to control myself before I end up screwing everything that we've worked so hard for.
Besides, there are alternative means of getting payback than resorting to just violence all the time. Take notes, Lilly.
"At least my group isn't living in a shit-hole like this," I remark, internally smirking after I know that I've struck a nerve. I know that they technically don't have a leader of their own, but it's still enough to drive her nuts. "I mean really? A beaten-up grocery store is the best you could do? Geez, will you ever be surprised when you come on over to the space centre! You'll be super jealous when you see our set-up back home."
Not saying anything, Racheal climbs down the balcony with ease before presenting herself right in front of me; folding her arms together as she taps her foot absentmindedly.
"You're not like the others, I can see that much. But you're still young – you don't know how to make these decisions on your own just yet," she remarks, not with hostility but with a hint of wisdom behind her words. "I'm not trying to put you down, but you still have a bunch to learn about how things work out here. The group should be your utmost, number one priority at all times – you need to put the group's needs ahead of your own. Focus on the needs of the many, rather than the needs of the few. That's my advice."
Strolling away with her hands in her pockets, I watch as Racheal heads deeper into the grocery store to check and make sure that everything is in working order; leaving me with quite a lot to ponder over.
Needs of the many… If I followed that advice, then Jane and Lilly likely wouldn't even have stayed with me after their group raided the space centre. I can't just up and abandon my friends in their time of need!
But… maybe I should be putting the group first, before my own personal desires. After all, isn't that what being a leader is supposed to be like?
Sighing, I hold my hat against my side as I too walk away. Maybe alone time isn't quite what I need after all.