Tosh point of view. Ianto is on next :)

Spoiler alert: End Of Days

Beta-ed: TattooedLibrarian

Tosh wasn't there after she saw her mother. She was like that day they were trapped in that room while her sonic made their ears bleed.

Her mother terrified and alone while she worked trying to do the impossible, that was the reason she woke up in the morning, her reason for everything. Tosh had wow that her mother would be safe, unharmed. But there she stood in the middle of quarantine speaking to her in Japanese like she did in times of trouble. Tosh replayed that scene over and over in her head not really grasping what was going on around her. She did notice when Owen left, but she didn't feel capable to do anything. Tosh hadn't felt so powerless since she had spent days and days in solitary confinement.

Watching Gwen cry made her feel ashamed. She didn't love anyone so dearly to feel that kind of pain. Her comfort was harshly turned down and she looked at her feet. It wasn't like she could fix this; she was far from adequate for this job.

Then Owen came back and her hope rose. He could do something, he was the man of the action, and he just didn't know to give up.

"We'll help him" she said to Jack thinking that he should do so too but he came up and insulted them all. He acted like he had death wish when he hovered over Owen with scorn and contempt. She was shocked when Jack went down. It almost seemed too easy, but in the back of her brain she thought that Jack behaved silly. Didn't he know that Owen can't stand bullying? He should have known that.

She turned her eyes away from Jack's body as they opened up the rift. Her mother said they should do it, she wouldn't mislead her.

But then everything began to fall apart and Jack rose like he hadn't been shot in the head. There wasn't even time to think, they just had to run for their lives.

Tosh would never forgive herself this day. Jack had saved her, he trusted her in spite of what she'd done. He understood that she'd done it for her mother, for love. She didn't understand what was at stake but now, after all she had seen, she should know better. She should have known that Jack would be first to open the Rift if anything good would go out of it.

When she saw Jack broken and pale laying on the rocky ground she started to cry. He had done so much for her and she betrayed him again.