AN: Just wanted to take a second to thank Oreo Anarchy for the absolutely unbelievable job she did on the cover for this story – it looks amazing, and I am now forever in your debt lol. Seriously though, great job and I really appreciate all the hard work you put into making it :D
Props to you, Oreo! If you'd like to see the full version for yourself, go to DeviantArt and type in MyDarlinClementine – it should be one of the first to pop up.
Two weeks later, Lilly's POV
…I… I've barely got enough strength to even think, let alone actually move around this hell of a place. I've been fed nothing but one snack each day (courtesy of Alden, even though he wasn't supposed to) for the last two weeks, and I haven't been able to leave this room unless I was heavily supervised.
Have you ever been so hungry that it physically hurts? Have you ever needed to eat so badly that it keeps you up at night; bugging the ever-loving hell out of you as your stomach grumbles and moans for nourishment?
If you've said no to either of those questions, then you're one of the lucky ones. They say the average person can go three weeks without any food before they die – three whole weeks of pure hell. Having a tiny, little granola bar each day might boost that number up to a few more weeks… but who am I trying to kid here? If I can't even move around the room properly without somebody having to boost me up, then I might as well slit my own throat and be done with it.
"Bo… talk to me…" I whisper, trying to spark a conversation with what little energy I have left. That's the other thing – our captors finally decided that it wasn't worth the hassle of having to back and forth between our rooms, so they literally dragged Bo across the floor and tossed him into the security office with me. "You're hurting… I know you are, Bo. You can't… keep me shut out… forever."
Silence – the thing that I had expected is what I am getting, no more, no less. Bo is still sore after all that's happened recently (and no, it's not just limited to his new stump), so for him to try and give me the cold shoulder is largely understandable.
Understandable, but stupid nonetheless.
"If you won't talk… then I will," I mention, hoping that he might be persuaded at the prospect of having to listen to me ramble on for however long I can keep going. At this point, I'd probably just keep talking until my lungs ran out of oxygen – I'm afraid that the moment I stop talking will be the moment that I'm truly alone in the world. "I know you probably… hate me after talking about killing De-"
"We're going to die in here, Lilly."
Caught off guard a little bit, I turn my gaze towards the man, who's clutching at his stump and trying to grasp at thin air; almost as if he's imagining that his hand is still attached. The scary part of looking at him isn't the stump, however.
It's the eyes – there's a still, eerie nothingness to them that I haven't seen with him before.
"Why do you say that?" I ask groggily, finding it more and more difficult to focus on things as the days roll by.
Twisting his arm back and forth, Bo doesn't answer me at first. He's got a lot to be preoccupied with, and it seems as though the guy's almost trapped between his own little world and the reality that's set out before us. It's kind of sad to watch, really. Bo was so much more passionate and full of life beforehand according to Clementine.
"I know their type – if they don't get what they want out of holding us here, then they'll dispose of us like old trash," he explains with a shrug. "Don't act all surprised… wait, didn't I tell you? About me?"
"Can't say that you did, no…"
"Must've been Clementine, then," he sighs, leaning against the wall as he lowers his mangled limb onto his lap. "…I used to be like these people. A bandit, I mean. We killed, robbed, lied and cheated to get what we were after… because it was the only method that we were absolutely sure would give us what we wanted. There aren't a whole lot of people left that know that about me…"
You know what? If he had told me this about four years ago or so, I probably would've been all up in Bo's space; grilling him on how pathetic bandit assholes are and how they've done nothing but break people apart and leave nothing for the rest of the world.
But now? Honestly, I don't even give a damn. I've done some pretty fucked up stuff before, so I'm not exactly one to talk about who's in the right.
"Who you were… doesn't make a difference anymore…" I tell him with a small nod; trying to see things from his perspective. "And Bo?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm… sorry," I tell him with as much sincerity as I can pull off, "…for being such a… fucking asshole all the time. If things were different… I wouldn't have tried to kill Debbie. I can't take it back now, but… I know you were close to her…"
Stopping whatever he was doing before, Bo closes his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose. "It's not me you should be apologizing to," he quietly whispers, getting a kink out of his back as he stands up to stretch. I'd say that he's lucky for getting some food into his belly, but at the cost of a hand… yeah, not really a great trade-off. "You shouldn't have said those things to James… You know how broken he's become. It's good that you finally admitted that, don't get me wrong. But the way you went about it…"
"I know – I fucked up. Once again," I sigh, hearing my stomach rumble for about the billionth time. "I… I couldn't hold it in any longer. He pushed me to my boiling point and I just… cracked. Maybe it's too late for apologies… but I'm at least gonna try. We've gotta find a way out of here, Bo. If nobody else will save us, then… then it's up to us to save ourselves…"
"Lilly…" he murmurs, frowning as he looks over at me. I feel like shit, I look like shit, and I smell like shit. Bo won't admit it because he's far too nice, but I know it's true. "You can barely move around. How are we supposed to – "
"Alden! Are you about ready to go?!"
Stopping himself midway through his question, Bo turns his attention to the security feed that we're getting on the monitors. Tracy's out in the main plaza somewhere with her entire platoon of survivors stationed beside her – all of them sitting at tables in the little cafeteria place they have in the mall. This area's actually quite a lot bigger than I thought it would be.
"Yeah… just a second!" Alden replies; appearing on the screen as he slowly walks towards the group leader. Despite him giving me food rations, it still doesn't excuse the fact that he's stood by and allowed shit like this to happen. "Alright, I'm all set, Trace… Do I really have to do this?"
"Buck up a little bit! Show some spine, Ald! You're doing this for the betterment of the community!" Tracy explains, turning around and holding up a rather large bag and placing it roughly on Alden's back. "Just remember the game plan, alright? You head over to the store, don't tell a damn thing about who you're with, offer the blankets, check out the food situation, get Kazuki and get out. We're all counting on you, Alden. The future of our group is resting entirely on your shoulders right now. So umm, yeah… no pressure or anything."
Seeing him gulp, Alden reluctantly nods before adjusting the straps on his shoulders and marching away; looking incredibly nervous even though it's difficult to tell facial expressions over the security monitor.
He's going to the grocery store?! Fuck! This is bullshit – Bo and I can't even do anything about it, being locked up in this place! Jane and Clem… they might be in terrible danger, and I can't even get out to warn them!
Well, fuck that! Hungry or not, Bo and I are getting out of this hellhole one way or another! This has been going on for way too long!
And besides, if Alden's gone, that means the last of my food supply is gone too… The stakes just got raised exponentially higher all of a sudden.
As I watch Tracy turn back to address the crowd, I can't help but notice that that whole conversation seemed… dubious. Alden didn't even look as though he had a say in the matter, but the startling thing was how easily Tracy was able to control and manipulate the conversation. It's like she was playing the guy like a violin right from the start!
Maybe that's how she and Josh manage to reel people in…
"We've been denied what's rightfully ours for far too long now," Tracy announces, pounding her fist on the table in order to wake up a sleepy survivor. "Alden's just the first step – we couldn't tell him what we were planning because of his weak heart, but now we can finally begin preparations. This grocery store group won't bow down to our demands? Fine, then we'll resort to other means in order to get what we're after."
"Why the fuck don't we just march over there and shoot them all down?! We've got all the firepower here that we could ever need! Let's take this by force!" Josh proclaims, getting a round of agreeing shouts as he stands up with a crazed look in his eye. "Fuck 'em all, we can take them! Butcher every last one of them – no mercy! We should strike fast and hard, Tracy! They won't even know what's coming!"
Tracy, for her part, seems to disagree with that sentiment.
"Sit down, right fucking now!" she tells him, pointing downwards as he reluctantly returns to his seat. Maybe these two don't get along as much as I thought. "That might just be the dumbest idea I've heard all day. I get it, Joshua – you're a bloodthirsty fuck who'd enjoy nothing more than to torment this Anne chick that I keep hearing about! Well guess what?! She's not here, so unless your stupid ass would like to go and track her down, then shut your mouth and listen! Why would we send Alden into enemy territory if we were just going to shoot up the place anyways?"
Joshua opens his mouth to argue with her, but at Tracy's questioning look, the guy slams a fist on the table and walks off; shouting out how this is a huge mistake.
"Let him go – clearly he needs to blow off some steam," she tells one of the men who's about to take off after him. "Look, I know life out here isn't ideal… but this plan could save lives. All of our lives. Why risk any more bloodshed when we can just as easily save a bunch of our bullets and get what we want?"
"What's the plan, then?" asks a younger woman who's looking pretty tired of waiting around. "You've been saying that we'd be in a safe place for months now! Anything's better than the rat hole we were in last time… but Kelly…"
"I told you to never say her name ever again! Not her, not the bitch she stayed with, and not fucking Zayne! They're dead to us!" she rages; anger painted all over her face. Bo shakes his head with a glare as he watches this all go down. "…listen, I'm not willing to put you guys in danger, okay? We're in this shit together, like it or not. We're all brothers and sisters now, and I'm not willing to put your lives at risk by going into an open war. These people are not to be underestimated."
Getting a number of thankful but silent nods, Tracy clears her throat before speaking again. I'm trying not to be fooled by her somewhat caring demeanor – regardless of what she says, this woman is incredibly dangerous. She might say one thing, but mean something entirely different.
If you could say one thing about Joshua… well, at least he's more to the point about things. Even if I want to grab a shotgun and blast away at him for a solid hour or two…
"We need to try a different tactic instead – something that's going to break the back and heart of their group. Something that'll really put a dent in their plans," she grimly explains, placing her hands on her hips. "That's why I've given out a special surprise for this group of theirs, and poor Alden's got no idea that he's the one carrying it. I'm thinking a little biological warfare might do us some good, and when the time is right… that's when we'll move in."
"God… damn it…" I murmur, forcing myself to sit up despite my body practically begging me not to. "Bo… we have to warn them… They've got no clue…"
Nodding in firm agreement, Bo stand up and tries his hand at opening the door. When that obviously doesn't work out, as he twists and turns the handle with no such luck, Bo paces around the security office; trying to find something to get us out of this jam.
"Look for something we can use!" he tells me; grabbing a chair with one hand and dragging it across the floor with a screech. When he realizes how physically incapable he's becoming with only one hand, Bo loudly groans as he kicks the chair in a fit of anger. "Fuckers! Can't even lift the damn thing up to smash at the window… Son of a bitch…"
Looking over to the corner, I shakily point over to the walkie-talkie that I had managed to hide when Tracy had come in to question me a couple of weeks ago. It hasn't had much use since then, but as Bo sees what I'm pointing at, he seems to realize what I intend.
Nothing like trying to bust open a window with a big piece of hard plastic!
"When I get out, I'll come back for you, understand?" Bo tells me as I nod. I feel really damn tired all of a sudden, but that's nothing really new. My energy's all but gone from the lack of nourishment over the last couple weeks. "Just stay put – I'm gonna try to get us back home… Wish me luck."
Silently wishing him all the best, my glazed eyes slowly start to flutter shut as I lay in a heap in the corner; watching him try to bust the glass window as he starts smacking hard against it. The guy's determined, I'll give him that… but I want to warn him about how dangerous this could potentially be.
Actually, scratch that. It's undoubtedly a fucking suicide mission he's trying to pull off here… but I suppose it's better than trying to wait around just to die.
As he starts to make some real cracks in the window pane, with blood slowly dripping down his hand, I listen as Tracy finishes rallying the troops. She better not lay one fucking finger on Jane or Clem… or I swear to god, I'll come back from the dead and kill her myself.
"Let's give 'em hell like they've never seen before," she remarks; her voice drowned out in my ears as Bo smashes the window and leaps out the side. Taking one look back towards me, he nods before vanishing from my sight.
Clem's POV
"For god's sakes, Elliot! Come down from the roof already!"
"I've got this, Racheal! Just leave me the fuck alone, would ya?! I'm on lookout duty!"
"No you're not!" she retorts in annoyance, with the both of their voices carrying throughout the grocery store. "Being on lookout duty means that you're up there for a shift or two! You've been sitting up there all week long! That's not doing a job, that's living on the fucking roof! Now get down so we can talk this out!"
Closing my eyes, I rub my head in a vain attempt to stop a massive headache from coming over me as I sit in the room with Kazuki. Even with the door closed, it still hasn't made one lick of difference – you could probably hear their shouting match for miles. I get that Elliot's still upset about Nikita, but come on already! There's no reason to bring the entire camp down, too! The guy must've shot his rifle about twenty times yesterday… at squirrels.
They were startling me! I didn't know if there were walkers out there or not!
Yeah, real good excuse right there.
The eleven year old in the room with me… hasn't been faring too well, to be honest. She keeps complaining about how the room she's been cooped up in feels like a refrigerator with how cold it can get, but the weird part is that there's no electricity left in the building. Shouldn't that mean that it's the same temperature everywhere in this place?
Well, apparently not – I can feel the chill in the air, too. So, without asking for permission from anybody, I slowly walk up to her with a warning glance.
"I'm getting you out temporarily," I tell the kid, glaring darkly to make my point. "Let me make myself perfectly clear first – if you try to run off, harm anyone in the group or do anything that you're not supposed to be doing, I'll kill you. No exceptions, no hesitation. Do you understand me?"
"…why are you doing this?" she asks me, rubbing her sore wrists as I untie the rope from behind her back.
"I don't see the point in keeping you locked up in a place like this. Especially when there's nothing more we can get out of you," I state matter of factly, making sure that I have my gun trained at Kazuki in case she tries anything. "You're a person, just like the rest of us. It's about time that we treated you that way."
"I mean… why keep me alive at all? Why did you keep your friends from just pulling the trigger?"
Pondering this over a little bit, I make sure that my back isn't turned as I slowly open the door. Realizing that she's not in any real position to make a move or do anything stupid, I lower the gun a little bit before answering her; ignoring the shocked look of Jane as she starts walking towards me.
"I don't want to be that kind of person," I tell her, getting ready to hear Jane tell me how dumb I'm being. "If we're going to try and save the world, then I need to start with the smaller things and work my way up. That means sparing your life."
I can't tell what she's thinking, but Kazuki definitely looks sullen as she silently nods her head and keeps to herself; probably wanting to keep away from Jane for as long as she can. Perhaps I was a little bit harsh there, but sometimes there are necessary evils that need to be taken into account. I've got little room left for sympathy these days.
Telling her to go sit over by the fire pit, I fold my arms across my chest as Jane grabs the kid by the scruff of her shirt. This isn't gonna end well…
"Let her go, Jane!" I demand, even though my words aren't really registering in her head right now. "Damn it, Jane – I know what I'm doing! Just leave her alone, okay? She's not a threat anymore, I made sure of it!"
"She's the enemy, Clementine! I don't think I need to remind you what group she really belongs to!" Jane argues, keeping a firm grip on Kazuki's shoulder and preventing her from escaping her clutches. "We can't just let her wander around the store! Do you not see how dangerous that could be?! This kid isn't trustworthy – she helped kidnap Lilly, and – "
"That's enough! We're finished with this, alright? I'm keeping an eye on her for the day, and then she's back into the interrogation room after! That's what's happening!" I tell her firmly, finding myself being more forceful than I usually am. Fortunately, Jane seems to be pretty occupied with something else to pay it too much mind, so I tilt my head to the side in curiosity. "What aren't you telling me?"
"…it's nothing."
"Jane… I'm your friend," I point out the obvious, wanting her to trust me just as much as I trust her. "Now what's up? What's going on?"
Very reluctantly letting Kazuki free, Jane frowns deeply as she watches the kid silently take a seat; warming her hands up by the fire as she tries not to make eye contact with either of us.
"…the place is called the Renegade Outlet Mall," she tells me, causing me to rub my eyes tiredly. I should've know it was this… Jane's been acting almost impulsively these last few weeks in her desperate attempt to find Lilly. "Finally got my hands on a map at a gas station nearby, and I'm convinced that that's where she's gotta be. I'm heading out there soon."
"We talked about this, Jane…" I remind her, trying to get the woman to see things on a broader level than just herself. "Look, I want to find Lilly just as much as you do – "
"I'm starting to doubt that…"
"…but going out there on your own is complete suicide," I tell her, choosing to ignore that back-handed comment. "We don't leave friends behind, and we're going to find her, Jane. But trying to shoot everyone down isn't gonna solve anything! If you die out there, then what's the point?"
"I won't! You know that I can handle myself just fine – probably more so than anyone else here!" she tells me exasperatedly. Even though she's most likely right about that, my opinions aren't going to be swayed. Unless we have solid evidence, I'm not willing to send Jane out trying to track her down. "You've changed, Clem. You know that? And I'm not necessarily sure that it's for the better… What the hell happened to you? I can't just leave her to those fucking monsters!"
Ouch… that stings like you won't believe, coming from one of my closest friends that I've ever had. I don't want to have to hear that kind of thing from Jane of all people, and a big part of me wants to go out on a search party and finally finish this shit once and for all… but I can't. I literally cannot do that.
"I don't want to lose you two… but I need to put the group's best interests first…" I admit with a hint of shame in my voice. "I'm the leader now, Jane. I've got a responsibility to keep this group safe – that's the deal I made. I love you and Lilly, you know that… But I need to be here. This is where I belong right now. Hopefully you'll understand…"
After a few seconds of quietness, Jane, in response, picks up a rifle from the table and slings it over her shoulder with haste. It seems that she's made her decision after all.
"I'm leaving," she states simply, eager to get on the road as quickly as possible. "With or without you, I'm going to this mall and I'm going to bring her back. You can't stop me, Clem – not this time."
Debating on whether to hold my ground and stand up to my friend or not, after a moment I simply stand to the side and let her pass me by. I wouldn't even try to stop her if I could. Jane can make her own decisions… and deep down I'm actually glad that she's choosing to follow this lead. Sometimes a gut feeling in your heart is the best you can go for.
"Jane…"
Stopping, the older woman turns around for a brief moment as I hold out her knife in my hand. Chuckling slightly, she comes back over and snatches the object from my grasp; having forgotten about it earlier in the day.
"Bring her back, alright? For real this time."
"I'm counting on it," Jane affirms, stepping out into the Texan sun and once again setting off to find Lilly. Hopefully this will be the last time we need to do this.
I just want to get everyone back to the space centre as quickly as possible.
"I need you to follow me – quickly," I order, tapping on Kazuki's shoulder in urgency. "Come on, Kazuki! We don't have all day here!"
Confused, the girl does as I've asked as she steps away from the warm fire and jogs up beside me.
"What's going on? Is something the matter?" she questions, causing me to sigh as I explain that I'm not entirely sure. Racheal and Emily seem to think it's a problem, and Elliot nearly shot the person's head when he casually walked up to the grocery store. James is still in his room resting, and fortunately he's got some company in there – Zayne volunteered to watch him in case something changes.
I don't really think this is a huge deal, but the rest of them insisted, so here we are.
"Stay right next to me, got it?" I tell her, unwilling to let the girl leave my sight unless she's locked in the room. When I glower at the kid, reminding her of what would happen if she tries to run, she nods feverishly as we head out to the front.
Standing there is a young man, seemingly unarmed except for a knife-looking thing in his pocket, with a large backpack on his shoulders as he holds his hands up in surrender.
I notice Kazuki tense up for a moment, but her expression returns to normal in the blink of an eye.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Racheal questions, keeping a pistol hidden up her sleeve in case this is some kind of trick. "No funny business, got it? Now why are you here?"
"…the name's Alden, and I was just looking for a place to stay," he tells us, eyeing all of us carefully as he takes the knife (or what looks like a knife) out of his pocket. When he notices that we're all on high alert, he slowly and carefully drops the weapon to the ground before raising his hands back up. "I'm all alone out here – it's just me. I've been on the road for a few weeks now, and I was kind of hoping that – "
"What's in the bag?" I ask suspiciously; frowning as he turns it around and starts to unzip it. Inside of his backpack are numerous… blankets? "What the hell do you have those for?"
Gesturing backwards with his thumb, Alden explains how he got them out at a garment factory back the way he came; claiming that he managed to pilfer all of those away just in time. "I'd be willing to trade these in good faith, if you'd let me?" he suggests, kicking the bag forward lightly as Elliot goes to examine it.
Well, at least he finally managed to get off the damn roof for a change.
"They look pretty warm to me," he comments, but frowning nonetheless. "But I don't know… You seem way too unarmed to be out here on your own. Where are you from?"
"Arkansas," he answers immediately, feeling as though he almost rehearsed this talk beforehand. Maybe it's just the paranoia getting to me. "I'm from Little Rock – it's not that far from here, but the dead moved into town so I figured I'd try something different. Houston wasn't my first choice, but that's where I wound up. So how about it?"
Hmm… I'm not so sure about this guy. He's all by himself, or so it seems, but this seems a little bit too good to be true. Blankets would make these cold nights go by a lot more smoothly, however, and he seems generous enough.
"Maybe we should let him stay," I acknowledge, choosing to be the better person in this situation. Something about him is just screaming for me not to let him in, but Jane and I have shut people out before and, well… look how well that turned out. "There's enough room in the store, and if things go well he could even come back with the rest of us to the space centre."
"All in favour of letting him stay?" Emily questions, raising her own hand and seeing mine and Kazuki's hand as well. I stay silent at that – she's just a kid, and what harm could it do to let her vote in with the rest of us?
Besides, it seems that she's the tie-breaker.
"Thank you guys so much… You don't know how much this means to me, really," Alden tells us quietly, lowering his gaze to the ground as he hands over the bag of supplies. "You… you won't regret this, I know it. I'll try to pull my own weight."
"We'll see about that," Racheal comments, glancing towards me for a second before heading up to the roof – despite Elliot's protests. "Get a good night's sleep for once, Elliot! Take one of them blankets and get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."
As Emily helps the guy get settled in to his new surroundings, and I put Kazuki back into the interrogation room (since I still don't fully trust her just yet), I head on over to the fire with a tired sigh; rolling onto a crappy piece of cardboard that's a lame excuse of a bed. It might be the worst bed that I've ever slept in (and trust me, there've been quite a few that could take that prize home), but anything's better than the ground. I'd rather sleep up in a god damn tree than have to be on the floor all the time – it hurts my back and leaves me feeling extra cranky in the morning.
Try as I might, I can't stop worrying about Jane and Lilly. Those two and Ellie are my whole life at this point, and the prospect of losing any of them has got me more than a little bit terrified.
But getting all worked up about these things isn't going to help me any, and like Jane told me beforehand – she can take care of herself. She'll be back before we even know it, and we can just put all of this to bed once and for all. That's the attitude that I need to have now. I've gotta be strong for the group to thrive.
As another day comes and goes, I lean on my side and try closing my eyes to get some sleep. These blankets Alden gave us really are comfortable – I'll have to make a note of thanking him for it later on.
Before I fall asleep, I cough a few times until my eyes shut closed once again.