Chapter 17 – Betrayal
By the time everyone had finished their shopping and had flooed back to Grimmauld place it was getting dark, Mrs Weasley instructed everyone to put away their things in their trunks before coming down to supper. Everyone went into their separate rooms as Harry slowly made his way up to his, it had been a long day, a lot of anxiety but he had finally asked Ginny out and they were a thing! Ron didn't seem too happy, he hoped that things weren't going to blow up now they were back in the house.
Harry started to organise his trunk and pack all the non-essentials in his trunk, that included his new school things a long with all his completed homework and old textbooks, before starting on his clothes. He left a couple of sets of clothes out for the next couple of days before closing his trunk and laying on his bed, he didn't want to go down to supper, but he knew he had to make and appearance at some point. He laid on his bed trying to convince himself to get up and go downstairs and only did so when he heard Mrs Weasley shouting "Supper is ready!"
He groaned to himself before moving to get his crutches standing up and stretching, he then made his way downstairs taking his time on the many steps. It seemed like everyone was already downstairs and laughing and joking about something. Harry made his way to the spare seat on the end of the table by Ginny, Sirius and Remus.
"Ah Harry, wonderful we can start eating" commented Mrs Weasley as he sat down. Ginny took his hand under the table and rubbed her thumb up and down as if she could sense the anxiety radiating through him. Ron gave him a dirty look and Ginny rolled her eyes in reply. Harry could see Hermione muttering something in Ron's ear as if to stop him doing something he would regret.
Everyone was soon distracted by the food that Mrs Weasley was dishing out in front of them, she had made roast beef with all the trimmings, stuffing, potatoes and mountains of vegetables followed by large gravy boats. Harry helped himself to a little of everything, not too much, his stomach couldn't take it. Everyone tucked in and Remus and Sirius spent dinner reminiscing over old school tales of the Marauders adventures on each full moon. Ginny and Harry listened eagerly, reacting perfectly to their stories, they were such a distraction that Harry had managed to clear his plate.
"Thank you, Mrs Weasley," said Harry as she waved her wands and the plates started to dance around the room before landing in the kitchen sink and started to clean themselves automatically. For desert Mrs Weasley had made a large trifle which was shared between everyone. After they had finished that Harry was full, but for once he didn't feel like he needed to rush to the bathroom.
They all made their way into the living room where Harry sat in his usual position with his legs over Ginny's lap and her head against his chest, they watched whatever movie was on the television exhausted from shopping in Diagon Ally, Remus even cast a freezing charm around his injured leg which helped with the pain.
The film soon finished and everyone started to say goodnight making their way up to their respective rooms, Harry was rather comfortable and groggy laying on the sofa with Ginny and the pair didn't want to move but they knew they couldn't sleep on the sofa. Soon the pair were the last in the room and they took that opportunity to have some time alone.
"I never thought I'd be able to ask you out, I never thought you liked me like this"
"I thought it was obvious, remember that time where I sent that dwarf with that horrible poem"
"Don't remind me, it kicked me to the floor and sat on me to sing that message!" Harry laughed
"That was so embarrassing, I had to witness that too!" Ginny laughed
"But what about Dean from last year" Harry asked more seriously.
"Well I never thought you'd like me like this either, thought it was more brother/sister vibes" replied Ginny.
"I always have Gin, you've always been so kind and thoughtful towards me, not many people treat me with that kind of respect"
"Well they should, anyone who doesn't will be on the end of my famous bat bogey hex I've perfected"
"Thanks Gin" replied Harry quietly before pausing for a moment considering what he was going to say and landed on two words. "Love you" Harry muttered.
"Love you too Harry" Ginny replied before they both leaned in to a kiss, their lips collied and suddenly Harry was on another planet, the weight on his chest finally lifted and he could feel himself tense with happiness. Moments passed as they kissed, they didn't know how long for but neither of them wanted it to end.
"Bloody Hell! Get your filthy hands off my sister!" yelled Ron from the other side of the room, obviously he had come back downstairs. Ginny turned around and stood up to face Ron. Harry with difficulty did the same leaning on the chair and one of his crutches to stand.
"Honestly Ron, get a grip, Harry and I are together now, theres nothing you can do to stop it"
"Yes I can! Harry you choose me or her"
"That's not fair" yelled Ginny before Ron could answer. "You are being unreasonable, you were like this with Dean too, get it in your head Ron, I like boys and I tell you what if your best friend can't date me then who can? Do you expect me to be alone for the rest of my life?"
"You can't date my best mate, he's mine"
"Harry is not a possession Ronald, he can still be best friends with you, but he also wants to spend time with me, or an I not good enough for the famous Harry Potter?"
"I didn't say that"
"Then whats your point Ron? Spit it out! Because no one else seems to have a problem, only you!"
Ron was stunned into silence, his mouth was moving but no words were coming out. Finally words came but they came out in a quieter and defeated tone. "All I wanted to do is protect you, and dating Harry will only put you in more danger, you know who is back and he is out to get Harry, I do not want you in the way when that happens".
Harry had spent the shouting match looking from Ron back to Ginny, he felt terrible, he knew he was putting Ginny in danger if he dated her, how stupid can he be, putting his best friends sister on the line. But then another voice came into his head, a stronger one, the one which too over when they kissed.
"Ron, I will never put Ginny in harms way, I have always and will always stand in front of her and fight to protect her. Voldemort may be after me, but I have faced him four times now, the latest in that graveyard at the end of the tournament" Harry didn't want to say that out loud but he needed to show Ron that he was serious about protecting Ginny, he would never put her in harms way.
"Yeah, and you know what happened there? Cedric was killed, you didn't protect him, you just let him die!" exclaimed Ron, raising his voice again.
"And you don't think I feel guilty as fuck about that, I have not had a decent nights sleep since that night, I feel like shit constantly, I am paying the price for what happened. Ginny is the only person who has been able to help me get through this summer, who understands what I'm going through, she has faced Voldemort herself and knows how ruthless he is so don't pretend you know what we've been through!" Harry explained calmly.
"You deserve to feel guilty; you didn't protect Cedric, you've put Hermione and I in so many dangerous situations, how can I trust you to protect Ginny?!" Ron shouted again.
"You know what Ron, I'm done, I'm done being the chosen one, done trying to protect the world from the horrors of Voldemort, if my closest friends can't understand why I have made the decisions I have then whats the point in trying? I have tried my absolute best to do whats right in the world, but it's obvious you don't care! You do not care that I am a pawn in Dumbledores ultimate plan, I am not in control here, decisions are made behind my back and all I can do is protect those around me. That is not enough for you so I am done" replied Harry calmly although he could feel bile running up his throat, his mouth filling with saliva ready to throw up, he hated himself, he deserved to be punished, he didn't deserve to live, he wanted to cut so bad he had to resist picking at his arm.
Ron was about to open his mouth once again to shout some more when Sirius, Remus and Mrs Weasley entered the room.
"What is going on here? What's all this shouting!" fumed Mrs Weasley.
"Ronald is not approving of our relationship" stated Ginny holding Harrys spare hand.
This was too much for Ron who had come storming over from the doorway, sliced his hand hard against the pair holding hands and then pushed Harry into the sofa.
"Ronald Weasley!" started Mrs Weasley before rushing over to Harry to help him back onto his feet. "You are fifteen years old, not five! You do not go around pushing someone to the floor because you feel like it!"
"But mum, do you even know the danger Harry could put Ginny in?!" started Ron but was cut off by Mrs Weasley before he could say anymore.
"We are very aware of the danger you are all in, especially Harry. However, Harry has already proved that he will protect Ginny with his life, and I am sure he has done the same for you. There is looking out for your sister and being overbearing, and right now you are off the scale. You are being silly and unreasonable, you need to accept that they are together, no one else has a problem. Now go to bed, I've had enough of your nonsense shouting!"
"Fine" spat Ron as he turned around and stomped his way up the stairs.
"Quiet Ron" called Sirius, "or you'll wake her!" the stomping seemed to die down a bit as Ron made his way up the stairs.
"I'm so sorry for all this trouble Mrs Weasley" started Harry.
"Harry dear, you haven't done anything wrong, Arthur and I are so happy for the pair of you" replied Mrs Weasley.
"So are we" came Remus' voice. Harry didn't know what to do, he tried to move but his body wouldn't let him. "Come on, lets all go to bed, I'm sure things will cool off over time" continued Remus as he turned around to walk up the stairs with Sirius, Mrs Weasley soon followed leaving the pair alone.
Harry turned around to grab his other stick, but Ginny was already there and handing it to him. The pair shared a cuddle, the emotions boiling inside Harry, he needed to cut, he needed to be punished and he knew he couldn't show his emotions, he didn't want to put Ginny through that. Then without speaking the pair made their way out of the room, Ginny hitting the lights as they departed, then at the second landing Harry kissed Ginny goodnight before making his way to his own room.
He locked the door and scrambled for his blade before rushing into the bathroom sitting on the floor, his back against the door so that no one could come in. He then slashed his wrist hard, so hard that the cus were deep and through his muscle, if it wasn't for Ginny he would have cut harder, let himself bleed out, it was clear that his best friend didn't care, no one seemed to, he wasn't allowed to feel, the trauma that he had been through had counted for nothing and he knew he had to cut to release the guilt of everything he was feeling because he didn't matter.
His mind drifted to the Dursleys and his upbringing, he didn't matter there, they hit him, abused him, shoved him in his cupboard to starve, they didn't want him, and Dumbledore, he was a pawn in his game, he didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was the greater good. He couldn't take this anymore, he was dreading school knowing what everyone thought of him, a deluded psychopath, he couldn't take this anymore, he cut until he couldn't see his arm anymore because of the blood, his tears joined the red liquid on the floor, he was done, why should he continue for the greater good, he would end up dead anyway so what would it matter if it happened now.
Harry tried to take his mind off everything by thinking of Ginny's perfect red hair which now fell down to the middle of her back, the way she platted it one side and smiled with her perfect lips and chocolate brown eyes. Harry could see his vision blurring and he knew he had gone too far, without thinking he uttered a cleaning spell and a rough healing spell which stitched his cuts back together very badly, but it did the trick, the bleeding had stopped and his vision was returning. As soon as it did a wave of nausea hit him and he emptied his stomach contents into the toilet bowl next to him, he hated himself, his disgusting thin body filled with partly healed welts and bruises, his broken knee, his horrible scar on his forehead. He sat there for ages, wishing that he didn't have to go back to school on Friday, wishing the world would open up and eat him, he was defeated, the chosen one had broken.