Selene

We had just left the Dark Island and were cheering. I would feel like celebrating, even if I had just seen a Mist version of John yelling at me. The only thing that held me back was Peter's reaction to the Mist. He had fallen on his knees and started crying. I had seen Peter crying before; he usually went to me when he was sad, but not as much as he had then. He'd told me what his nightmare had been, the one he had had the night of mine. The Mist didn't transform into it, though. It transformed into the dead bodies of his friends and family.

Nevertheless, I was glad to be away.

"Sele, they are having a dance to celebrate! Get ready, it starts in half an hour." Susan told me, she looked very excited, probably because of Caspian. I didn't really love dances. I wasn't the type of person whose blood quickened during a dance, mine rushed during a fight. I went to change anyway, into a simple grey dress, like the moon. Susan had given it to me, saying that it looked great on me.

"Hey, Sele, can I do your hair?" Susan asked, coming into my room. I could see that she was ready. She was wearing a blue dress that matched her eyes perfectly and her hair was in some sort of bun with curls coming down wildly. She looked beautiful, but I didn't care for beauty.

"Sure, Su." She finally agreed to make my hair a braid crown at the top of my head after I refused to let it down.

We went to the dock a few minutes later, where the dance was supposed to be held. Peter, being High King, would start the dance. Everyone else would follow. The music was about to start. Peter came towards me and my heart started beating so fast, I thought it would run out of my chest. I didn't understand why, I'd never felt it before. Besides, it's not as if anything had changed, I had seen, held hands with, and even hugged Peter before. He bowed and I curtseyed in return. He looked so handsome in the bright Sun. Stop thinking like that! I told myself. What is wrong with me?

"Would you care to join me in a dance?" He asked formally.

"Of course." I said, and took his hand into the dance floor.

There was this odd feeling in my stomach, like something was moving in it. I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop myself from enjoying this moment. We danced formally, very standard, setting an example. After all: isn't that what Kings are supposed to do?

The music took on a happier note; one that required many twirls and dips. We danced along with the music, smiling. He would twirl me several times, making me dizzy. But we were having fun. He was smiling, at some points laughing, too, the happiness leaking into his eyes. I loved spinning so fast, seeing all the colours and lights blurred into one big beautiful mass. My dress would blow with the wind and quick movements. Strands of hair came loose once in a while, but I hadn't had so much fun before.

He would lift me up in his strong arms, the ones that had found no match until I came along. Finally, in the finale, he dipped me so low I could see the feet of the others at eye-level.

After the dance ended, we all went back to our quarters. I went into mine and crashed on the bed. I was so tired, my feet hurt, and my legs burned, but I was finally happy.

I went to sleep happy, and I woke up happy.

I changed after realizing I had gone to sleep with last night's dress. I changed then went on deck to find Caspian.

"Good morning, Caspian." I greeted him.

"Good morning, Selene." He answered. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Yes, more fun than I've had in a while." I said, smiling.

"Can you do something for me?" I nodded then he added: "Can you ask Susan if she had fun? I hand-picked the decorations according to her taste. I was wondering if she noticed." That was sweet of him.

"Of course, Caspian." I said. Caspian turned to look at the sea and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Selene, please go get everyone."

They all went on deck, looking startled.

There was an island in the horizon. It was surrounded by dark clouds and had a palace on top of a mountain. The rocky land was covered in snow.

Suddenly, Pirate Boy's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the ground. Lucy screamed and Ariane ran to him, checking his pulse.

"He's alive, but we need help."

"We should ask whoever lives in that island to help us." Devon suggested, twirling a strand of her hair. I wanted to disagree, but I simply couldn't, she, for once, was right.

"I suppose we must. We will arrive there in several hours still." Caspian said. "Everyone go to your quarters and get some sleep, it's still early. He put his arm around Susan and led her downstairs.

There was something about that island, though. It chilled me down to the bone. It was so sinister, I was terribly afraid. It made my blood freeze and I wanted to scream.

One of my weaknesses, I realized, was not knowing how to deal with fear. I don't feel it often at all, but this, this wasn't fear. This was terror. Terror that made me want to crawl in my bed and cry.

I knew someone who could help me, though.

I went below deck, my legs shaking. I opened the door to a room. I realized this wasn't the room I had in mind. I had wanted to talk to Susan, but my feet had led me to Peter's. I saw him sitting on his bed.

"Sorry to bother you, Peter, it's just…"

"It's all right, Selene. You have nothing to worry about." He said kindly, inviting me to sit next to him.

I realized that telling Peter how scared I was wasn't being brave, as Jo had told me. But I was tired, tired of holding it all in for eighteen years, tired of seeming strong when I was falling, tired of helping others when I was the one damaged beyond repair.

"I'm scared."

Peter looked genuinely surprised. I realized he probably thought that I was fearless, like everyone else.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"I've never heard you use the word "scared". I was waiting to see if you were like I thought you were, a regular human being, or if you were the fearless girl everyone thinks you are. Selene, it's all right to be scared. Everyone is." I choked on tears and they flooded out. I realized I hadn't cried since I was around five. I had forgotten what it felt like. Peter took me in his arms like I'd seen him do with Lucy and Caspian with Susan when they were sad. No one had ever held me like that other than Jo. I had forgotten what that felt like, too. It felt good, like I didn't have to be the one giving. I was finally cared for one hundred percent, not fifty-fifty, like with Su, or zero like with the rest of the world.

I cried for all those held back feelings I've had for so long; of regret, longing, and hurt. I cried for the fear I hadn't realized I'd felt my whole life. I cried for all those tears I hadn't shed over the years.

Jo would be proud.

I accidentally fell asleep in Peter's arms. When I woke up, my cheeks were dry and I was in my quarters. Maybe I'd dreamed it. But then Susan came charging into my room.

"We're here." She said hurriedly. "We have no time to waste! Pirate Boy's still unconscious and Lucy is worried sick!" I followed her as we went up the stairs. Sure enough, we had docked in that strange island. My knees shook, and suddenly there was a hand in mine, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Caspian had just kissed Susan's head, a sign of how much they love one another. I realized I would never love anyone like they loved each other. After all, love is for those wanting pain. Love is useless. I could never hurt anyone with my love. After all, I'd always known: to love is to destroy.

We went into the island and I was thankful for Peter's hand. It was freezing here, the land was all covered in a thick layer of snow and it had a few mountains.

Susan, Peter, Lucy, Edmund, Devon, Caspian, and I walked for hours, going towards the castle on the mountain. Edmund was carrying Pirate Boy and Lucy was leading us.

We came to a stop in front of the terrifying castle, opening the doors.