Chapter 45: Drumstik, Batshit Contraption

…

Link, Valley, and Irleen waited in the tunnel adjacent to the room they had met Sello in. While they understood an urgency to get out of a volcano about to explode, Sello had expressed a desire to return to his bedroom to retrieve something. When he emerged, he wore a belt weighed down by a number of tools whose purposes were very unclear to Link. One looked like a glove with metal rivets in the knuckles (which Link noticed while following Sello; its placement gave the illusion of squeezing Sello's rear), one appeared to be a screwdriver with a second shaft, another would have been a hammer if not for its small size and pointed head… Link could not recognize a single tool on Sello's belt, as if Sello spent his time randomly building things. He also had a small barrel made of metal dangling from his left hip. Valley questioned him about the barrel as they walked down the corridor, and Sello told her it was full of Chu Rum. When she pestered him to try a drink, his response was a childish defense of his possession.

The tunnel led to an empty shaft at one end, which Sello cheerfully pointed out as the non-functional elevator (and Sello sounded genuinely cheerful about showing them the elevator; he seemed to have forgotten that they were responsible for its lack of function). He took them through another door and up a flight of stairs. Valley and Irleen noted that they were starting to feel the volcano's heat again, so Irleen hid in Link's hat while Valley held the back of Link's tunic. The stairs, after a few landings with doors on either side, turned into a small tunnel which forced Sello, Link, and Valley to crawl. For this, Valley made sure she put a hand on one of Link's boots whenever she felt the heat getting to her. After a while, though, Valley stopped grabbing Link's boot, indicating the temperature had fallen to a tolerable level again. Sello did not indicate any problems with the temperature at all, and Link had to remind himself that Sello might have been used to living in the volcano after so many years. He had probably even been born in this volcano.

They eventually reached an area where they could stand. Link could feel that the air was perhaps just a little warmer here. He turned to see why.

It was a massive chamber with a large hole in the rock which served as a floor. Two giant wheels with interlocking paddles had been positioned much higher above the hole. Link could see the remains of daylight through the distant top of the chamber, as well as the large pipe which served as the source of the plume above the volcano. At least, he assumed it was. It looked like a large exhaust pipe, like the kind he would see subtly protruding from the stern of any airship, but this one did not appear to be performing its function. Here and there on the wall, metal panels and levers indicated the presence of machinery behind the rock somewhere.

"What is all this?" Link asked Sello.

"Da biggest generator you've ever seen!" Sello declared. He pointed to the large wheels. "Heat turns da wheels, da wheels spin, da spin gives zparky, an' we haz a lightbulb!"

"And that pipe at the top?"

"Dat gets all da bad stuffs oudda da air." Then he tilted his head. "But i'z not workin' now?"

"Would it have anything to do with the fact that we moved all that lava earlier?" Link asked.

Sello frowned. "Huh-yeah, prob'ly."

"How long before dis volcano booms?" Valley asked.

To find his answer, Sello strode to the edge of the hole in the center of the room. "Uh… maybe a bit?" he said with a shrug. "I never been here fer a boom."

"Where's the exit?" Link asked.

"I'z a vent on da oder side," Sello said, indicating a hole across the chamber from them.

"Let's move on," Irleen said, already drifting in that direction. "The sooner we're out of here, the better."

The ground gave a brief shake, causing all three Hylians to wobble. "What was that?" Link asked, looking around for a source.

"Weird," Sello replied as he continued to wobble. "When'z it gonna stop?"

Valley grabbed his shoulder and steadied him. "It did," she told him.

"Oh."

"What, what happened?" Irleen asked.

"The ground shook," Link said.

Bumm. As if to prove it, the ground shook again. This time, Link was keen on the accompanying sound. "Oh, boy," he said.

"Dat means da volcano's about to go boom?" Valley asked.

"Let's not fin—" Link started.

"Uh, Link!?" Link's head swiveled back towards Irleen. He saw her hovering over the central hole. But she was retreating to one side.

Bumm. Bummm. Bummmmm. Bummmmmm. Bummmmmmm. Boommmmmmm. Boommmmmmmmmm. BANG! A large hand of metal and glass almost twice the size of a Yook suddenly clasped the ground outside of the hole, the sight alarming Link and Valley into taking a step back (while Valley tugged Sello along). Link saw three fingers and a thumb with segments the size of shipping crates. Glass panels surrounded by a metal frame shook off dark ash as it adjusted its grip in the solid rock. Link could see large blocks of metal inside, which he took to be whatever internal mechanisms that allowed the hand to operate. BANG! Another hand flew up through the hole and grabbed one of the wheels above by a paddle. The arm looked the same size as the Seventeen's locomotive, also made of glass and metal framework to protect its interior parts. The wheel strained under a new weight. When the hand got caught in between the wheels, it was the steel structure of the wheels which squealed and gave way, trapping the hand between them.

But the wheels had allowed the mechanical monster to rise from the hole. It had a spherical core. The arms were attached at the farthest ends of the sphere from each other at ball-shaped joints. There was a small cavity in its chest, and Link saw metal mangled by a glowing rock still recessed in the cavity. The "head" was a bulb of glass on top of a metal neck with a pair of pitch-black disks recessed in the mechanics inside. Link did not see any legs opposite the head, somehow making the machine look incomplete.

"Heh-heeeeey!" Sello said as he stepped towards the machine. "I'z Drumstik!"

"Wha?" Irleen asked.

"Drumstick?" Link asked.

"Heh-yeah," Sello said. "He's a lava engine I made." He tilted his head. "I los' 'im years ago. I couldn' dink where I lef' 'im."

"Why… 'Drumstik'?" Irleen asked.

Sello shrugged. "I dunno. I'z kinda drunk when I puddem togedder. Made senze at da time."

"Uh… is it-is it nice?" Link asked, watching as "Drumstik" raised its free arm.

"Well, after he almos' zquashed Monks, Dad had 'im lock—"

BAM! Drumstik's hand dropped onto the space that Sello had been standing in. A last-ditch grab from Link saved him from the heavy hand, which kicked up a thin layer of dust from the rock beneath. Sello stumbled and fell to the ground.

"Back, back!" Link shouted as he helped Sello up again. "Back inside!" Valley and Irleen had already retreated into the tunnel, and Sello and Link followed behind. The surrounding rock shook when Drumstik bashed against the wall. Dust kicked up around them, and they retreated further into the tunnel. "Sello! What is that thing!?"

"He's a lava engine," Sello said, his calm demeanor making the other three wonder if he had just witnessed the intentional attack. "Built to help handle an' divert lava flows when Dad an' his friends put together da generator."

"Is that thing alive!?" Irleen asked.

"Heh-yeah," Sello said. "I used ma dad's block to do dat."

"Block?" Valley asked.

BAM!

"Yep," Sello said. "I'z shiny, like copper. An' i'z got a block shape." Link frowned; somehow, that description, though vague, sounded familiar.

Kang! Kang! The sound of metal striking metal caught Link's attention, and he climbed back towards the chamber. Keeping low to the ground and not leaving the confines of the tunnel, he watched as Drumstik beat on the wheels holding its other hand.

"How do we get past it?" he asked Sello. "It's going to crush us if we try going out there again."

"Could we sneak around?" Irleen asked.

Link drew his sword and held it out the tunnel, watching Drumstik carefully. Drumstik's black eyes turned in the direction of the tunnel and swung itself so it had the reach to smash its hand at the tunnel's entrance. BAM! Link had already withdrawn the sword and retreated back down the tunnel. "No," he told Irleen, rubbing his eyes with a sleeve. "That thing swung the moment it saw my blade."

"Now what?" Valley asked.

"I say we break him," Irleen said.

Kang! Kang!

"How?" Link asked. "The moment someone goes out there, they're going to get crushed."

"Ya can' hur' 'em anyway," Sello said. "Dat glass armor he's got works against hittin' and lava. Ya godda hiddit wif somedin' made to break it. Den ya godda break his body."

Link held up his sword. "I can't break the glass with this?"

Kang! Kang!

Sello shook his head. "Ya need a smaller weight an' a bedder point." He pulled off the small hammer hanging from his tool belt. "Like dis."

"Well ho—" Link started to ask. Then his eyes focused on the small hammer with its thick handle, small head, and pointed end. His question was going to be how he would get his hands on such an instrument. But to his luck, Sello held it in his hand. He took it without a second thought. "Stay here," he told them. "I'll be right back."

"Kay," Sello said, watching Link climb up the tunnel. "Bye!"

Link stood by the entrance to look out again. Kang! Kang! The machine was still trying to dislodge its hand, the pause in its strikes caused by it swinging awkwardly by its wrist joint. Kang! Kang! He quickly emerged from the tunnel. The machine saw him and immediately swung its fist downwards. Link leapt to one side and fell against the ground. BAM! The fist kicked up dust. Link, in the rush to dodge the fist, had dropped both his sword and the hammer so he could catch himself on the ground. The sword was closer, and Link managed to wrap his hand on it first. Then he heard scraping and looked over his shoulder. Drumstik had opened its hand and swing it at him. Link was getting to his feet, unable to do anything until the hand swept him up. His head struck one of the glass panels, and he had to deal with disorientation as he was picked up off the ground. The fist closed around him, but as Link's head cleared, he saw that the block-like fingers were not capable of squeezing him. Still, he could not move due to being small enough to fit within the cavity made by the machine's fist. He kept his sword tight in his hand and watched through the space at the top of its fist.

Drumstik held Link to its face, one of its black eyes peering into the fist at him. Link took the opportunity and thrust his sword forward. The sword's point struck the glass around Drumstik's head with a dull tink. Drumstik pulled its head away in a brief flinch. Link had felt the blow more than it, having his hand stung by such an awkward strike. Sello was right; Link's sword was not enough to break the glass shell. He needed that hammer. And he needed Drumstik to put him down. He backed towards the other end of the fist, but his boot found a hole too small for him to squeeze through.

Then the fist accelerated, and Link started rebounding against the panels as it shook around in the air. Impact against something caused his body to strike one set of joints. Then he felt the arm drop as the hand opened. BAM! The hand slammed onto the ground near the hole, and Link, a little dizzy from the tossing, crawled out of the hand and onto the ground.

"Link, are you okay?"

He looked up to find Irleen hovering in front of his face. "I think so," he told her. "What happened?"

"It grabbed you, so I started flying around its head. I think it made itself dizzy because it hit itself."

Link looked back up at Drumstik. Its head wobbled, its eyes aimed at the walls above it. "Well, let's try not to do that again," he told her. "Did you happen to see Sello's hammer? I dropped it."

"It's over here," Irleen replied as she flew away.

Link scrambled to his feet and ran to her. Then he heard the hand shift against the ground and turned to see Drumstik had recovered. Its hand raised, and Link bolted for the hammer and scooped it into his right hand. He continued running along the wall, and – BAM! – the hand slapped the ground behind him. Link stopped when he realized that he had an opportunity and ran towards Drumstik. Drumstik swung its arm as before, and Link dropped to the ground under its forearm. It quickly stopped the arm after it realized that it had missed Link, and Link got back to his feet again. Drumstik could not get its arm moving back the other direction right away, and Link swung the pointed head of the small hammer into the glass panel.

Kyash! Glass rained onto the ground, broken into large shards with the single strike. Drumstik started to lift its arm out of the way. Link, without thinking about all the glass that he had just broken, dropped his sword and latched onto the exposed frame. The machine spotted him on the arm and gave a large swing which almost caused Link's hand to slip. He clamped down on his teeth, realizing that glass still in the frame had opened his left palm. The forearm rose upright, so Link, with his right hand and the hammer on the frame, swung himself and put a boot into the frame so he could pull himself inside. Fortunately, none of the internal mechanisms were exposed on this side of the arm, allowing Link to put a hand on a piece of metal skeleton. He pulled himself towards the side facing Drumstik's head and smashed out the glass.

Drumstik shook harder, forcing Link to brace himself against the outer frame to avoid being tossed out. Then it slammed its arm against the ground, dislodging Link. Link's back hit the ground hard, and he writhed in pain for a moment. Fortunately, Drumstik was busying itself with a different matter. Instead of bashing a hand against the wheels above, it put its free hand on the wheel behind its head and pulled itself up. This proved to be a little awkward, as Drumstik could only shift its body to the side while it was reorienting the arm of its captured hand. Link looked up to see that it was swinging over the edge of the hole.

In strike range. Link felt around the ground until his right hand found the hammer. After shifting it to his bleeding left hand, he stood up and ducked to where Drumstik was swinging its body. The machine never noticed him as it gave its body a larger swing and finally rotated its arm.

Kyaaaash! The bottom-front quarter of glass shattered and rained into the hole as Drumstik's body swung away. It looked down to confirm that it had been smashed, then it started picking its body up. It managed to put its free hand further up the wheel and pulled itself higher.

Link suddenly had an idea and tucked the hammer into his tunic belt. Then he skipped backwards and to the right to get a better look at Drumstik's head. His hand pulled his boomerang from its holster and popped it open in what had become a familiar draw for him. He sighted for the throw, then he imparted all his arm strength into the throw with the belief that another blow to the head would disorient it again.

Pank! The boomerang skipped off Drumstik's spherical head. Its free hand slipped, and its body dropped. This drop was heavy enough that Drumstik's stuck hand caused the wheels to spin the opposite direction. Drumstik fell, slamming its free arm on the ground. It stopped itself from falling into the hole by planting its captured hand on the other side. Link drew the hammer again, ran to Drumstik's upper arm, and smashed out the glass panel. Drumstik moved at its elbow, and Link quickly backpedaled before the hand could brush him into the hole. It turned its arm and started pushing its elbow into the ground to prop itself up. Link backed up further when he noticed cracks forming in the ground. The ground near the hole broke apart first, and Drumstik's elbow sank into the hole. The move smashed its body into the other side of the hole, and it became wedged. Link watched it struggle a few moments, then he ran to retrieve his sword from the ground.

"Now what?" Irleen asked, dropping from the air above him.

"Now we get out of here," Link said. He found the hole in the wall and waved Sello and Valley out. "Tell them to get to the other side. I'll distract Drumstick."

"Be careful," Irleen told him. Link nodded, sheathed his sword, and ran towards the other side. He ran in front of Drumstik, pulling the hammer and waving it to get Drumstik's attention. He knew that Drumstik would try to protect its undamaged limb from him. As Link approached its other shoulder, Drumstik swept its hand across the ground to prevent Link from reaching it. Fortunately, for being the size of shipping crates, Link found Drumstik's fingertips easy to pull himself atop. Drumstik swept its hand again and bashed it into the wall. Link had his hands on either side of the finger and held on during the ride. He pulled his way up the finger, and Drumstik started waving the hand back and forth. Link could not make any progress like that, only able to hold on by his fingertips.

Then it stopped. Link pushed up for a moment, wondering why Drumstik was not struggling and glanced towards the head. The head had turned completely around, having seen something behind it.

To Link's horror, that something was Valley and Irleen. Valley stood frozen in place, Link's boomerang clutched to her chest and eyes wide as she stared in fright at the machine. Drumstik clenched its hand, causing Link to roll off backwards. He watched the arm rise as it turned at the shoulder. Irleen started shouting at Valley, but she remained in place as Drumstik turned its arm to block off the exit Valley should have been in. But, where she was standing, Drumstik would have to turn if it wanted to smash her.

Then Link realized that Drumstik had just turned its arm around. She was in danger.

Without thinking, Link dashed for Drumstik's body. The upper arm and shoulder was too large for him to climb up like the hand, so he opted to call attention to himself again and smashed out the upper-front quarter of the machine's glass armor. No use; the arm was still moving away from him, and Link had lost sight of Valley. He ran around the shoulder and smashed out a panel from the upper arm. Drumstik still did not respond. So Link climbed into the moving part and up the interior parts to smash out the panel on top. Link quickly lost all form of tactic as he realized that Drumstik still would not respond to him. Using the interior parts, he clambered onto the arm and crossed the shoulder to the metal frame of the body area. The climb was difficult until Link utilized the interior portions of the body to climb up to the neck. Link was just a little taller than the neck, something he realized when he climbed up onto the frame next to it. He also realized that Drumstik's head was encased in a single bulb of glass. Shielding his face with one arm, Link swung the hammer into the glass.

Kyaaaaaaash-kaka! The bulb shattered without trouble, and large shards smashed against both the interior structure and the body as they fell. This caught Drumstik's attention, and its head swiveled around so that its eyes were on Link.

Link did not give his action a second thought. Kech! He smashed the hammer into one of the eyes, revealing it to have been made of glass as well.

"Link, behind you!" Valley's voice called out.

Link looked over his shoulder to see Drumstik swinging for him. He dropped and slid down the side.

PAM! Drumstik's fist bashed into its unprotected head, jarring its good eye out of its socket. Link slid to the ground and dashed for Valley. Then he turned and watched as the machine pummeled the ground around it in a blind panic. Link took Valley's arm and pulled her closer to the wall. It was a good move since the ground started cracking apart around the hole some more.

And lava was pouring up through the hole.

"Hurry!" Link shouted, shoving Valley in the direction of the exit. He ran behind her, watching as Drumstik's body flailed a few more times before popping sounded from its internal structure. He did not wait to see if it would be destroyed, ducking into the hole after Valley to escape the lava quickly flooding the chamber. "Go go go!" he urged Sello and Valley. They crawled up the rock as fast as they could. Link could feel the heat of the lava trying to catch up. His body felt sore, but he knew that if he stopped, the lava would not leave a trace.

In minutes, Sello, Valley, Irleen, and Link clambered out of a vent in the side of the volcano. Link dragged himself to the opposite side of the vent from the other three just in time to avoid having bright lava melt his legs off.

"Link!" Valley shouted.

"I'm okay!" Link said as he crawled sideways to get away from the heat. "What about you?"

"I's okay!" Valley answered.

"Heh-yep!" Sello said.

"Yeah!" Irleen called. She bounded over the lava and in front of Link. "That was insanely awesome, Link! Two for two!"

"Two what?" Link asked, tucking the hammer into his tunic belt.

"Big bad things!" Irleen said. "First that thing in the forest, and now, Drumstik!"

Link shook his head. "I think the lava took care of Drumstick."

"Dat isn't what my report's gonna say!" Valley called across the lava.

His response was an exhausted sigh. He turned to look up the side of the volcano. "We should get out of here," he called back. "That lava might spill from the top any minute."

Sello, having taken a long pull from his metal barrel, gave a loud belch and a jolly bellow. "Hah! Road trip!"