The morning broke over the horizon in a bumbling struggle of warmth and light, echoing the torment of one blonde Elric as he fought into wakefulness. Groaning deeply in his chest, Ed blinked against the scorching rays of light that fell through the gauzy curtains. He twitched and attempted to move before realizing there was a comfortable weight across his hips. Startling violently when he realized Roy was practically on top of him, he jabbed Alphonse in the shoulder, causing a yowl from his younger brother. Al shot up and stared blearily at Ed, before looking down at what Ed was panicking over.

And then he smiled.

"Good morning Brother. When did Mustang get in last night? I assume he would have woken you for a good night kiss."

Ed's jaw dropped and he could feel his face flush hotly. He shuffled upward more, blanching when Roy's arm tightened around his hips, and then scowled at his brother when Alphonse's muffled laughter echoed through the room, "You shut up, Alphonse, or I will tell Winry about that time when we were kids that you stole her clothes."

"I didn't mean to, Brother! I thought it was mom's laundry basket! You wouldn't tell her."

Ed raised a brow at the dare and smiled slowly when Al's face morphed into an expression of horror.

It was like old times, this sort of banter, and it was a comfort. Ed missed it. Missed his brother. Missed Roy. Suddenly his sinuses began burning and he tilted his head back, feigning a yawn to hide the glazing of his eyes. What the fuck was he trying to cry over? Everything was okay now.

Well. Everything would be okay once Artabanus was… behind bars.

And why was it so difficult to think that? Why was it so difficult to imagine the man that had stolen a year of his life in an equally trapped situation? It wasn't fair. Whatever this feeling and twisted thought process was, it wasn't fair.

Why does this always have to happen to me?

"Brother…?"

Coming back into reality, sensations began to make their way into Ed's consciousness. He realized he'd been subconsciously rubbing Roy's back but couldn't feel self-conscious about that. And the smell of alcohol drifted through his nose after the clearing of his sinuses.

He glanced down at Roy again, now seeing how disheveled and wrecked the man looked. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and his mouth was a downward slash of discomfort. Ed frowned and stroked the man's shoulders, feeling warmth flow through him at the loosening of the man's tight expression and the soft sigh he gave.

Mustang had been drinking, then. Something must have happened during the retrieval of the rest of the children. Unease drowned the glow inside Ed and he had the urge to shake Roy awake then and there.

He didn't need to, however, as the man's eyelashes fluttered and that dark, dark bluish gray began to focus on the world. Mustang winced visibly before his eyes scanned his surroundings and landed on Ed. Something agonized and dark split through the General's expression and Edward felt himself flinch at it.

Something was horribly wrong.

'Roy? Are you alright?' Ed asked quietly, barely aware of Al stumbling out of the tangle of sheets and tapping his way over to the door.

The door closed behind Al, and Roy's eyes just wavered on him continuously. It was worrying, that look in his eyes. It was something Ed had never seen in Mustang before- like despair mixed with panic and regret. Something hard and cloying built in the blonde's throat and he swallowed hard, beginning to inch his way away from the man, until that arm stopped him again. Mustang still hadn't retracted the tight grip around his hips, even as the man began to rise further up to lean against the headboard. In fact, the grasp seemed to tighten, pulling Ed closer to him with a force that brooked no argument.

'What happened?' Ed whispered, claws of dread raking down his ribcage.

Shock shuddered through him icily at the choked sound Roy made as the man gave up all pretense of control and clung to Ed. If Ed didn't know better, he would have thought the noise a sob…

'Fuck, Ed, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you,' Roy's voice shook in a muffled way, as if he was fighting back tears.

The blonde put his arms hesitantly around the man, heart clenching, 'Roy, you're scaring me.'

The General was falling apart and Ed had absolutely no idea how to help, other than awkwardly hold the man with the same strength that he was being held with. It was heartbreaking, and even a bit physically painful that matched the shards of glass shivering through Ed's chest.

What the hell was going on…?

The children…

'Roy, what happened? Are the children okay?' Ed asked sharply, shaking the General slightly.

Pausing in his harsh breaths, Mustang finally gathered himself enough to answer, 'We saved most of the children. We lost nine of them, we couldn't… it was our fault… my fault, I should have predicted… but the rest are safe.'

Stunned, Ed could only stare straight ahead as his head wrapped around that. Nine children lost. In the skirmish, he guessed.

It's not fair. Fuck, it's so not fair…

'Okay,' he breathed, steadying himself even as Mustang finally began to calm, 'That's not all though, is it? What else happened? What do you know?'

A stillness went over Roy that immediately worried Ed. It was a stillness that cried denial and deception. This expression Ed was a bit more familiar with and could identify it easily. Roy was going to be hiding something from him. He would be given a smidgen of truth and the rest would be hidden until Roy decided that Ed needed to know it. Fuck, and Ed knew he would never be able to drag whatever it was out of the stubborn bastard. When Roy wanted something to be kept quiet, it was impossible to give it sound.

What doesn't he want me to know? What's he trying to protect me from? Damn it I don't need protection; I need to know shit!

'Artabanus was here last night.'

The words shook Ed out of his thoughts and caused a flush of hot and cold to wash down his body, tearing him between eager curiosity and overwhelming fear. He met Roy's eyes and they just stared at one another for a few long moments before Roy's eyes slid shut and he sighed.

'He was outside in the courtyard. Apparently the patrol on duty chased him away before he could do anything. I'm sorry Ed. I'm trying my best to keep you and Alphonse safe.'

And there it was. It made Ed's heart swell and constrict with heady pleasure and pain. Just that statement- 'to keep you AND Alphonse safe'. Roy knew exactly how to play Ed's heart, and unintentionally at that. The master manipulator was stringing Ed around his finger and didn't even realize it. The blonde alchemist laughed to himself quietly, hysterically, mind sluggishly wavering between the present and his own internal struggles.

Artabanus came to see me.

Roy feels bad for supposedly failing at trying to protect me. I should tell him he's doing better than I ever could.

I should ask if Artabanus said anything. I wonder why he was here? Was he planning on taking me away or was he just making sure I was safe?

I need to tell Roy how much he means to me.

I need to see Artabanus.

I miss our talks – I miss our talks.

His throat worked futilely to swallow past the wad of cotton that seemed lodged, his limbs vibrating with the multitude of emotions that were raining down on him once more. Fuck. For just a moment this morning, just as he woke up, everything had been fine.

Now he was here again.

'Ed? Are you alright?'

Except now he had anchors.

'Ed, come back to me. I'm right here.'

He had Roy and Alphonse, Winry and Havoc and Hawkeye. They were all there for him.

'Ed I'm going to get the doctor. Just sit still.'

They were all his family.

He came back to himself with a prick of pain in his arm. He whipped around to glare at the doctor injecting a clear liquid into his arm, 'What the hell you fucker?'

Doctor Nelson just grinned and patted his shoulder, 'There you are. I gave you a mild sedative to slow down those racing thoughts. You should be able to focus better now. It's something I've wanted to try to start.'

'Then pack up some vials,' Mustang stood behind the doctor, arms crossed, with Havoc and Al at his side. Ed stared at the trio in confusion as Roy continued, 'We will be heading to Central on the next train at noon.'

Doctor Nelson's eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped in automatic refusal, but Mustang just shook his head in finality. The doctor looked at Ed desperately, as if wanting the blonde to argue. Of course he wasn't going to. He needed to get the fuck out of here, and a streak of relief and excitement shot through him at the thought of getting back to Central. Back to regularity. Out of this damn hospital and back into his classroom. A year had passed, he would have new students. It was a shame that he never got closure with his previous classes, but he would give anything to just be able to stand in front of his blackboard and pretend that the past year had never happened.

His heart was a twist of wanting everything to have been a dream, and wanting to face Artabanus about everything that had happened.

He was never a very good pretender…

'Should I get dressed, then?' He asked, looking to Roy.

The General gave a horrific excuse for a smile and nodded, 'Al has some clothes for you. We still have another hour before the train comes. If you hurry and get dressed, we have time to catch some breakfast at a café.'

Just the words sent a thrill of paradise through Ed and he nodded eagerly, already throwing the sheets back and nudging a still frozen Doctor Nelson out of the way. He hurried to the bathroom, grabbing the armful of cloth from Al, and paused just before closing the door when he heard Mustang address the doctor.

'If you have just a moment, I need to ask you something about that medication you just gave Ed…'

The two left the room, and Ed glanced back at Al and Havoc questioningly. Al shrugged but Havoc had a grim look to him.

What were they hiding…? Obviously Havoc was in on it too, then.

It could wait. Food came first.

Ed threw the door closed and dressed with a swiftness that astounded Jean when he returned seconds later. The military man shook his head, disgruntled, and led them out of the room. With a final glance around at the place he had called home for half a month, Ed raised a blasé middle finger to it all and departed without looking back.

Seriously, fuck hospitals.

Nelson was right, he mused as they made their way down the hall towards the reception area, his thoughts had slowed to a sluggish drawl swirling around his skull. He could barely catch what he was even thinking about, the thoughts drifted just out of reach, skittering away each time he tried to touch them. That was fine with him, though. It was a relief from the panic-inducing shit he usually had to deal with. Whatever happened to him being strong? Confident? Himself?

Knowing he'd been down this line of thought before, he stopped himself abruptly and regarded Al at his side. How did Al see him? As his big brother still, surely. But there had to be a change in his perceptions of Ed, after seeing how the older Elric had reacted to certain situations recently. Al had to think he was weak now. And he wouldn't be wrong. As long as they both still had each other, though, Ed didn't really care.

Roy met up with them at the front doors and gave the familiar receptionist a final wave goodbye before they left. The sunlight hit Ed like needles to his eyes and he winced hard under the onslaught of brilliant rays. Hand raised to block out the harshest of the glare, he glared past his automail to scowl at Al, who was chuckling freely. Havoc and Mustang remained eerily sober as they led the way up the street. Havoc's blue eyes continuously darted about in a calmly frantic fashion. They absorbed every single inch of everything around them, even as his body was mock-relaxed. Ed understood the caution immediately and began his own discrete observation of their surroundings, wondering what he would do if Artabanus did show up.

They found a little café halfway to the train station, and somebody must have sent a message to Western Headquarters because Winry was already waiting for them at a table nestled into the corner. Ed walked up to the girl and wrapped her in a hug, speechlessly glad to be out of the hospital and into the world again. The warmth of the girl under him comforted him further, and he was smiling lightly when he pulled away and took a seat. Mustang passed them all to sit in the corner, gaining the best sights of the small café in case of emergency. They ordered sandwiches and coffee and the three friends from Resembool smiled and laughed lightly while the military men remained tightly wound and somber.

As Winry and Al fell into a conversation about Granny Pinako, Ed zoned out to focus in on what Mustang was saying to Havoc.

'I promised Lieutenant Amsel that I would personally search for General Tulson's permanent relief. I'll have to have Hawkeye present some profiles to me when we get back. I also have to meet the Fuhrer and give a press conference about the ongoing Drachma negotiations, not to mention debriefing the public and warning about these Ukreytan crime rings… so I have a lot on my plate. I would really appreciate it if you could take Ed and Al and set them up at my place when we get back to Central. We can set Winry up at Gracia's. I doubt Artabanus would go after Winry, but we have to be safe and keep her out of the way.'

'Wait,' Ed objected, ceasing both conversations, 'what's wrong with my apartment? Why do we have to stay at your place?'

Roy gave him a plain look that had 'you're an idiot' written all over it before saying flatly, 'Your apartment is fine, but highly unstable. I have expansive defenses at my home due to the nature of my career and goals, so you will be safer there. In addition, you would also have me to protect you at all times.'

'And this will go on for how long? What if Artabanus never shows up again? I can't very well stay chained to your desk forever,' Ed argued, frowning.

Roy raised a brow, 'Is there something wrong with being chained to my desk? I'm hurt, Ed.'

'Why don't you use those chains for something more useful, sir?' Al snickered, making all eyes snap to him. Winry gave a scandalized gasp and Havoc's sandwich dropped from his hands.

Silence reigned.

Only to be broken by the muffled thwap Ed's palm made against the back of Al's head.

'Anyway,' Ed snapped, face blazing as he turned back to Roy, who wore the most endearing baffled expression, 'what's your plan? You have to have one, right?'

Roy looked like he was struggling for words for a moment before he shook his head, 'No, no plans, really. I just need you to be in my sight until Artabanus is caught. I will not allow a repeat of the last year. I will not allow you any more damages…' he seemed to almost say something else but bit his tongue.

Ed scowled, wanting to demand what he was hiding, but held himself back. There would be better times. More specifically, in private with an adequate amount of alcohol surging through the General's veins. That should get him talking some.

'In that case,' Al leaned forward, putting down his coffee and smiling tightly at nobody in particular, 'I'll stay with Winry at Gracia's.'

Ed opened his mouth to protest loudly, but Al cut him off with a gentle shake of his head.

'I'll be putting you in danger if I stay with you and the General, Ed. What if Artabanus gets a hold of me? You'd do anything to get him to let me go. So I need to keep out of the way. I'm your weakness, Ed.'

'How do you know he wouldn't go to Gracia's to get you?' Ed snapped, pushing away his food now to glare at them all, 'Do you want to put Gracia in danger, too?'

'He won't,' Roy responded quietly, eyes boring into the blonde. Ed sat back at that and made a motion for Roy to continue, 'Artabanus' main interest is in you, Ed. He won't take the time to go out of his way if he has an immediate opportunity to get at you. Alphonse and Winry will be safe at Gracia's. I'll even post soldiers there to guard them if you would like, but I can assure you Artabanus will not go after them.'

'How do you know?'

'I just know, Ed. There's something much more important than any of us that he's after,' with that, Roy stood up, mumbling a quick 'excuse me' before heading outside quickly. There was a payphone just outside the window that he went to. Ed stared after him, frustrated and infuriated. Why couldn't he just tell them all what was going on? Or at least Ed? Everything would be a lot easier if the blonde just knew what Roy knew.

Maybe it was about the nine months Ed had missing from his memory.

That would explain a lot.

He was already terrified about what he could be not remembering…

Placing his elbows on the table and ignoring the three remaining occupants, he rubbed his hands over his face in exhaustion.

Fuck not even half an hour out of the damn hospital and he was already tired as all hell.

I can just sleep on the train. When was the last time I was even on a train…?

'Brother, please finish your food,' Al murmured at his side.

Dropping his hands, the blonde grimaced down at his nibbled-on sandwich and shook his head slowly, 'Nah, sorry, Al. I've lost my appetite.'

They finished eating and Havoc threw money down on the table to fit the bill before they made their way back outside. Mustang was still on the phone so they hung back at a respectable distance. Ed, lost in thought, almost missed the tug Winry gave to his short sleeve. He glanced over at her and she gave him a sunny smile before pointing out into the street,

'Look around Ed. Breathe it all in.'

His eyes turned in the direction she pointed and he observed the bustling people, the scurrying children, the flight of birds landing and taking off along the street. The cobblestones shone practically porcelain in the searing light of the sun. It was warm for approaching winter, and he absorbed the feel of gold soaking into his skin, and shivered at the slight breeze that spiraled down the tunnel the street created. It was all gray and brown and tan, and so beautiful.

He smiled thankfully at Winry, and she simply winked back endearingly.

Mustang, finally finished with his call, came back out and immediately started towards the train station once again. His shoulders were tense, and unease rippled throughout the rest of the group as they made their way behind him. Ed raised a brow at Jean, who simply shrugged, as clueless as him. Silence reigned until they reached the train station.

By that point, the noise of the multitude of people drowned out any chance of conversation, despite Winry and Al beginning an attempt at small talk over the ruckus.

Their train was already boarding so they made their way to the back compartments. They all settled in awkwardly, another silence beginning to stretch. Ed was looking around at the other occupants suspiciously, still unused to so many people at once after a year of solitude. It was uncomfortable and distressing, this feeling of tense unease.

'So big brother,' Al murmured from beside him, 'are you alright? How is it being outside?'

'It's good, Al,' he responded automatically with a brilliant smile. Because despite the anxiety, it really was good to be out of the hospital. He hated hospitals.

'Good,' Roy answered before Al had a chance, 'Because you'll be by my side in front of the newspaper journalists when talking about the Ukreytans. Fuhrer's orders.'