Chapter 5:
TOBIAS POV:
The car ride to her house is silent, my mind having nothing else to do but think about the last time I saw her. When the rain starts, pounding against the windshield, and I so badly want to turn around to look at her, stare into her beautiful blue-grey eyes before hatred appeared at the sight of me. I loved her and I still do, I always will.
After about another five minutes I pull into her driveway, my heart pounding as I know I'm going to ask her one more time, just to let me explain myself. I put the car in park, keeping the doors locked and I stare over at her, waiting for her to stare back like we used to.
"Can we please talk...or at least give me a chance to explain why I never answered your calls." I plead with her, begging for a second chance. I watch as her beautiful eyes flick between the two of mine, conflicting emotions clear in them.
"Fine, go for it." She says looking at me her face soaking back all the emotion showing before.
So I whisper quieter than anticipated, "I want to say first off that I'm sorry. Tris, I didn't want to hurt you. I loved you and I was scared you would only yell at me on the phone, talking about how much you hated me for leaving you. Leaving you made my life hell an-"
"No," she cuts me off, her face clearly upset now, "you can not say that your life was hell Tobias. Rachel, Ivan, and Mckenna all betrayed me when you left, they told all my secrets to everyone and they ended up doing horrible things to me. Ivan punched me a couple times and Rachel and Mckenna abused me verbally. I did things I regret, and I still do them because I can't stop. You put me in that position because you left."
Her eyes are filling with salty tears, ready to streak down her face, and she is obviously angry with me.
"Tris, I'm sorry." Is all I can think to say, but she doesn't care, and I know that this reaction is what I deserved but it doesn't stop me at chasing after her when she rips the car door open, walking out into the rain. "Tris, wait."
"Shut up Tobias! Don't you get it? I don't want to see you anymore. I'm done. You left me...and now I'm leaving you." She yells at me getting quieter as the sentences go on, her still trudging up to her front door, me in hot pursuit.
She makes it when I reach her again, missing and she's able to unlock the latch on her door before I finally grasp onto her sleeve. I keep it in my hand when she wiggles, trying to be released from me so she can run off to her sanctuary. Her arm slips a little and I clutch at anything I can grab, ending up with her arm in my hand still, my figures wrapped around her forearm. I'm able to feel slight bumps on the inside of her forearm, some almost feeling like scabs. As soon as I'm about to ask how she injured herself, she flips out, struggling to push me away, her eyes wild with fear. I keep my grip strong knowing its much more than someone hurting her, as she wouldn't have made such a big deal out of it. I rotate her arm, when she settles down, and I instantly see four slashes across her skin, two newer looking and two old. My mind concentrates on the way the skin ripples in the scar, and I'm positive that those marks were made by a blade. Her blade.
Frantically I try to tell myself I'm wrong but when the tears appear in the back of her eyes, I know I've made the right assumption. I can feel the guilt of pushing her to this, deep, boiling inside the pit of my stomach, making me feel almost sick. This is my fault.
"Tris, what have you done." I gasp, my voice cracking a little in pure shock still.
The next words that come out of her mouth break my heart, "I gave myself what I deserve." she mumbles, clearly not knowing what she deserves.
My heart shatters when I look up into her blue stormy eyes, usually strong and beautiful, now weak and worried. The next thing I know she's slipped away into her house without saying another word, leaving me with thousands of questions. How could I ever let her do this? How could I just let myself move out of her life for good, ruining hers?
I don't know what to think and all I can do now it pound on her door rapidly, waiting for it to click open, her safely next to me. For some reason I know that that is not going to happen, but I keep knocking, waiting and waiting, my fist smacking against the wood harder each time I get more worried.
After god knows how long, a bright, in the dark night, blue suv pulls into the driveway opening the garage, and sliding into one of the two spots vacant. A boy, I suspect as Caleb, jumps out of the car, locking it as he walks towards my car, inspecting it to see if anyone is inside.
"Caleb." I yell loud enough so he can hear, his head shoots up towards me, eyes locking with mine. "I think your sisters doing something bad, we need to get inside the house!"
His eyes widen, beckoning me inside through the garage, and I sprint up the stairs, my feet thumping loudly against the flooring. I look at Caleb, not far behind me, making sure he's keeping up.
"I'll go find the key." He says, running towards the master bedroom when he see's, what I'm guessing to be her room door, closed.
I don't hear a single noise when I put my ear up to the wood door, straining to hear one little movement. My hand migrates to the door knob and I slowly turn it, to my surprise, pushing the door into the plain bedroom. I don't see anything, but a piece of lined paper folded over once placed on the bed. Carefully I make my way over, plucking it off the sheets, unfolding it, my eyes meet with pretty, cursive hand writing.
Dear my loved ones,
By the time you read this letter I will be gone, moved on from my life. I'm sorry it ever came to this but between the bullies and, just myself being me, this is something I deserve. My destiny that was inevitable, because fate happens. I love you all, please know that. Please don't give up because I did, you all deserve more. Please. I will watch you from above, always. Be brave.
Love,
Tris Prior
I can't help but stare at the sheet of paper, my mind going off the rails as I finish reading it. She's going to kill herself, and with the amount of time she had, she definitely could have achieved it. Suddenly, my head yanks towards the bathroom door closed after hearing a small sniffle come from behind it. My legs move faster than they ever have before, running to the door, banging on it as loud as I can, yelling for Tris to stop.
Caleb comes bounding into the room the next second, carrying a small key, moving quickly towards me, putting the key in the keyhole, turning the knob, but the door doesn't budge. We both began pounding on the door, hoping and praying the worst has not been done, that she is still breathing behind this door.
I grab the keys from Caleb's shaky fingers, trying the lock myself, unsuccessful the first time. I slam my own head against the door in frustration, shoving the key back into the key lock trying one more time, carefully so that it can finally open. Thank god it does, but when I look around and spot Tris, I'm cursing under my breath, my heart kicking up speed even more, if possible.
Tris lies on her side, eyes closed. In her right hand is an almost empty pill bottle, and in the left is a razor, sharp enough to cut a finger off. The razors edges have blood on them dripping down, and as I look more at her I notice the massive amount of red liquid being drained from her forearm, pouring out into a puddle around her.
Caleb is standing still, his body frozen, paralyzed by the scene in front of us, where as my body acts fast, running over to her and quickly checking for a pulse. And my body goes numb. My fingers gently touching her neck feel nothing against them, complete and utter stillness. I am too late.
The events that take place next are all blurry, my mind completely out of focus, my thoughts killing me on the inside. I called the police, only seconds after I felt for her pulse and they said they were on their way. The lady on the phone kept trying to tell me to stay calm, but I knew that was never going to happen. Tris was dead.
Now I sit next to her body, the phone on the floor, Caleb sitting in her room, to shocked to do anything but cry. My hand gently caresses her hair, as tears cascade down my cheeks, my body to numb and scared to do anything but rub her head. I can hear the sirens off in the distance, blaring out loud noises while speeding down the road. They made it here in four minutes...so she's been gone for approximately five minutes.
I don't move when I hear the ambulance pulling up in front of the house, and I still stay here when the paramedics come pounding through the open garage. Caleb eventually calls out to them after they search the downstairs, as they rush up the stairs and into the room than bathroom, not stopping for a second when they see me and Tris.
I know they have to do their job but I can't let go of her, my arms refusing to move from their current position. Soon enough I'm pushed back by the paramedics, them screaming words at me, one's my ears have gone to numb to understand. One of them grabs me by the arm pulling me to get out, as another begins CPR on her stone still body.
This is the last thing I really fully remember before I'm in the ambulance, riding with them and Caleb to the hospital. They continue to do CPR, and after the truck begins to move they start with the defibrillator, peeling her shirt off her body, leaving her in a bra, shocking her multiple times. My hope diminishes when the third shock doesn't work, and soon after the fourth, the ambulance pulls into the hospital.
They switch back to CPR, pushing the stretcher into the hospital, then leading to a room. The hospital worker yell and scream at me and Caleb when we try to follow, saying that we need to have a seat either outside the room or in the waiting room.
We both make our way to the chairs placed outside the room, she's currently trying to be revived in and Caleb pulls out his phone, clicking on his mothers name, then placing the phone against his ear.
I don't hear when Mrs. Prior answers, but I certainly hear Caleb, his voice shaky and strained.
"Mom, get to the hospital immediately." He says, tears finally beginning to trails his face as the full impact comes down on him. "Tris...she's not okay."
Caleb soon after ends the call, his hands shaking horribly as he sets the phone in his lap. We are soon engulfed in almost complete silence, just the faint noise of doctors working in the background.
About five minutes later a doctor with white clothing comes out of the door, looking at us, and we both stand up fast. His eyes are filled with sadness and I can only assume they haven't done what they needed to, to bring her back to life, but then he begins speaking.
"She's stable, for now. We were able to revive her, but we are not sure when she will wake up. We assume it will be at least tonight that she is under, and she will wake early tomorrow hopefully. If there is permanent damage to her brain from the amount of pills she took, she may not wake for another few months, or years, stuck in a coma state. This also depends on her readiness to face the world she just tried to leave, and if she does wake tomorrow, expect her to be emotionally unstable." The doctor explains giving us the pity face that I hate with all my being.
Caleb tear come down faster and more abundant, even though the news was good compared to what I expected. I sit back down without saying a word, my mind to busy thinking about how lucky I am she's alive.
"Can we go in?" Caleb says through the sobs.
"You may, but do you have anyone on their way because I can send them in when they arrive." The doctor states looking at Caleb.
I don't bother to listen anymore before I slip into the room, the nurses doing their lasts checks on Tris, then walking away. I take the seat next to the bed, grabbing her hand, even though I know she hates me. I love her, and this is all my fault.
Soon enough Caleb enters with, to my surprise, Mrs. Prior, taking a seat in the chairs on the other side of the bed, ignoring the one next to me. Mrs. Prior has a worried expression and I can tell she's on the verge of tears. Though her eyes take a second to look at me after she stares at Tris.
"Who are you?" She asks, not in a harsh tone, but softly.
I sigh knowing I can't say anything but Tobias, or she will make me leave, "I'm Tobias from a few years ago."
Her eyes widen when she snaps her head back at me from looking at her daughter. "Tobias?" shes asks, "What are you doing here?"
"I-I live in Chicago. I moved here with Marcus."
"You-you moved here?" Caleb pipes up, speaking in pure curiosity, then suddenly his eyes turn cold. "You're the reason she was bullied. You're the reason she went into depression. You kissed my little sister then left her! You're the reason she cut herself! And you are the reason she tried to kill herself!" He begins to yell, screaming the words at me as he stands up making his way towards me. "This is all your fault! You did this to her! You drove her to this! I'm sure she hates you as much as I do now!"
He finally reaches his, and I don't try to protect myself when his first blow comes, his fist colliding with my face, just as Marcus's has. He continues to beat me up, throwing me out of the chair, tossing me to the ground and kicking my newly scarred back, thanks to Marcus. I can feel the scabs from previous lashes begin to rip open, blood soaking the back of my shirt. But I don't stop him, I deserve this for all I've done to Tris, I'm a horrible person.
Soon Mrs. Prior tares Caleb away from me, throwing his out of the room telling him to calm down, take a deep breath. He does as said not coming in as Mrs. Prior helps me off the floor.
"Tobias, I'm going to go get a nurse to help clean you up okay?" She asks looking me in the eye, with what I would have assumed be detest but actually worry.
I shake my head rapidly, "No please don't. They can't find out."
"Find out what?" She questions her eyebrows scrunching together.
"Nothing, I can do it myself."
"No," she states, looking at me confused, "it's either the doctor or me who's helping you."
"Fine, but please don't ask any questions." I say pleading with her, hoping she won't.
"Tobias, your back is bleed a lot more then it should, please just let me help you." She says, and my breathing gets harder.
I turn around and peel my bloody shirt from my body. The sharp intake of air from behind me frightens me, making me worried Mrs. Prior will tell someone.
"Tobias, how did you get these scars?" She asks, beginning to clean my now fresh wounds.
"I don't want to answer that." I speak, and she continues cleaning without a further word, probably ignoring the curiosity. I know I will have to tell her sooner or later.
After ten minutes of cleaning my back and wrapping it, she offers ice for my black eye and split lip, that I gladly accept. She then goes and lets a calmer Caleb back in, and he doesn't look at me, just going to sit back in his seat, staring at his sister.
I know I wont be able to sleep at home so I sit back in the chair setting my alarm for six in the morning, just incase she's up, early as the doctor said. When I slouch back, I find a partially comfortable position, closing my eyes, setting aside the fact that my back stings like hell. Eventually I fall asleep, my eyes closing to the sight of Tris in the hospital bed.
Tell me what you like and dislike. I would love to hear some reviews. The reviews last chapter were amazing, keep it up. How did you like Tobias's POV? It took me longer because I was trying to get it just right, I'm not sure because, I'm not a guy. Thank you for reading. Please review!
~divergent24-7