Chapter 9 – Red

Dear Guest 64. Thank you so much for following this story so faithfully and gracing me with your reviews. I was afraid John being so comfortable with Louise would seem out of character. It might appear to some readers as such. I guess he recognizes something in her that allows him to be so. Actually, I never planned it. It just came out that way. And yet, it's still not easy for either of them. They still have to make do with their past and have not developed their friendship to the point where they could learn to trust each other with being open about it.

She wanders around the next morning, trying to find his office. She's been told he's there, trying to catch up with writing reports for his latest missions. She knocks on his door and he smiles when he sees her. "Had a goodnight?" he asks.

She eludes the question, not wanting to answer. Her nights are always plagued with nightmares and insomnia and he certainly doesn't need to know she's been awake since three in the morning, Lantean time, kneading dough for her rolls because, though she could use her food processors and bread machines, it always soothes her to do so by hand, her mind wandering as she listens to a selection of music on her Ipod. "You?" she says and he nods curtly, not wanting to plague her with his own worries. "You said you wanted to see me, Major?" she prods.

"Oh, yeah, right! Please, sit down," he says, motioning to the chair on the other side of his desk.

She looks at the mess in front of him and can't suppress a smirk. He pouts, his eyes crinkling in the process. She likes the way he sometimes looks like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Yeah, I know. I kind of keep reports for when I can't elude them anymore," he explains, shuffling through the files in front of him.

"She grounded you so you would finish them, right?" she prods, still smirking.

"So, you've heard," he winces. "She's a tough cookie," he banters. "And I'm a procrastinator," he adds, feeling he needs to be honest about it.

"I always do what I hate the most first. That way, I keep the best for last," she replies, beaming at him.

He nods, smiling back. "That's an idea. I should work on that."

"So?" she repeats, folding her arms on her chest. "You were saying..."

"Oh, yeah, right. I wanted to see you because it's going to be Elizabeth's birthday soon."

Her eyes light up but she doesn't say anything and waits.

"She has a challenging job and works a lot so I was thinking..." He winces, not wanting to let on too much.

"You'd like her to have a decent birthday. Say, gift and cake, at the very least," she guesses.

He nods. "I have the gift. I know we won't have time for a party or even maybe for a whole dinner but I was thinking maybe you could make a cake for her," he suggests.

"Or you could make it for her," she replies, narrowing her eyes at him.

He looks befundled but raises his hands in mock surrender. "Forget about it. I'm a terrible cook."

"So was I before I learnt," she replies. "No one is born with the ability to perform such complex tasks without being taught, you know. Everyone learns at one point or another. And I'm sure it would mean a lot more to her if you made it yourself," she adds, lifting her eyebrows.

"What do you have in mind?" he asks tentatively. "I'm on a tight schedule these days," he apologizes.

She sees he wants to but doesn't dare because if he fails, what will happen? "Tell you what. You try to do it. If you fail and you don't have time to try again, I'll do it for you," she offers, raising her eyebrows.

He leans over the desk and offers his hand to shake. "You have a deal!" She grins. "So, what do you think we can prepare?" he adds.

"She likes the color red and chocolate too, that I know for sure," she states and he nods. "What about red velvet? Not a layered cake. You won't have time to learn how to do it but we could make cupcakes."

He grins. "Sounds good. You have a go, chef!"

He joins her a couple of days before Dr Weir's birthday. It's late at night and he's finally finished with his training and meetings. She has finished cleaning the kitchen and making her own experiments on new food – vegetable crumbles made with those squash-like things they've traded from yet another mission they've just returned from. She's quite happy with both their purchase and the prospect of growing their own with the seeds they'll collect from the fruit. They've also bought hens and chickens and have decided to try and raise some. She was pleased when told by Ford that quite a few people have agreed to sign up on shifts to take care of them. She chuckles at the memory of his eager, juvenile look when he announced her he was willing to help with it too and was sure it would be a success.

"What's so funny, sweetie?" John is looking at her with the same fondness he's granted her for a few weeks now and her heart clenches at the thought he's becoming attached to her, and her to him. This shouldn't be. She can't let anyone close to her heart again, even a friend. She sobers up quickly. Each time she relaxes and realizes she did so, she chides herself for not being cautious enough about it.

She can't let herself grow fond of anyone – ever again. Especially here where people have a tendency to get killed. With Rodney, it's easier, she realizes guiltily. He's so awkward and so focused on whatever projects he's working on at the moment that he never, ever pushes her buttons. She never feels cornered. He comes in, has coffee and cookies with her, chats aimlessly, jumping from one subject to another and then leaves abruptly. It was disconcerting at first but at least it's safe. With John, it's more difficult, which is weird because she's realized that deep down, he is in many ways like her – not good with people and easily scared by physical proximity. She's had many arguments about it with Rodney and she's not won any of them, of course, because, let's face it, he talks too fast for her to keep up, but she'd bet her last dime on it – Captain Kirk is just a convenient façade.

She smiles at him. "Nothing, just thinking about Lieutenant Ford's enthusiasm for our newest food supply."

He smirks. "Yeah, well, he was very efficient is making people see the benefit of the experiment."

"I just hope he hasn't scared people into thinking we were bordering on a famine," she answers.

"Naw, don't you worry. Your food is proof enough we're doing really good." He grabs an apron from one of the pegs on the wall. "So," he says conspiratorially. "Are we ready for Desserts 101?"

They've made half a batch to test the recipe and she's quite happy with the result. The cupcakes might lean a little to the side for most of them because he still needs practising with the icing but they taste good. They sit at the bench on the mess hall's balcony, enjoying the cool evening breeze and their well-earned treats. He falls silent and she can almost see the cogs turning in his head. "I wonder," he starts tentatively and she encourages him to go on. "I wonder if it's such a good idea."

She rolls her eyes. "Hey, for a first time, you did great. Next time will be better and it's the thought that counts."

"It's not that. It's just... maybe I'll be overstepping the boundaries, offering her something for her birthday. She's my boss, after all." He winces.

She sighs. "Listen. I don't know much about rules and regulations here. I was given a crash course on many things and it was part of it but it kind of boggles my mind to prevent people from fraternizing. Besides, it's just a cake and gift. You're not asking her to marry you!" she teases him and sees him blush. So here it is. She had an inkling but it's confirmation enough. He fears he likes Elizabeth more than he should. "You know," she adds, not wanting him to slip back into this wistful mood he gets into when he thinks no one's watching. "I'm not saying break the rules and all that but I don't see how they could blame you for making her heart a little lighter with such an innocent gesture. Given the circumstances, Major, it's even more important than usual to show people you care about them."

"You would be an excellent diplomat, Louise, and a shrewd negociator," he chuckles. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"You're welcome, Major," she says, inclining her head slightly.

He takes a sip at his coffee. "Is this something you've thought about for yourself too?" he asks almost shyly, knowing he's on shaky ground when it comes to her private space. She remains silent but stands and goes to lean on the railing, watching the ocean. "I mean. What I mean is..." he fumbles for words, feeling awkward suddenly. It seemed so much easier in his head.

"I know what you mean, Major," she answers curtly without looking back at him. He cringes. He's gone too far. She takes a deep breath. "It was the case, before, yes. But not anymore," she says then turns and looking him straight in the eye adds: "And here, no, there's no one and I won't go down that road again. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, collecting her mug and plate, "I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another big day."

TBC