I wake up in the middle of the night and turn around, only to see that Christian isn't there. I stand up, put his t-shirt on, which was still lying on the floor and look for Christian. I open the boys room and there he stands and looks at the children.
"It's reassuring looking at them", he whispers.
"Yes. I don't know what I would do without them", I confirm nodding my head. I go to Christian and hug him. I sigh. "Why aren't you in bed?" I whisper.
"I had a nightmare", he murmurs.
I entwine our hands and squeeze them comfortingly.
"I was a little child, about three or four years old. There was a man. I don't know, who he is. But when I saw him entering the apartment, I quickly hid in a closet. I held my breath, but after a few moments, he found me and dragged me out of the closet by my hair. It hurt so much. He reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. I got sick and puked on the floor. He yelled at me and beat the shit out of me. I screamed for help and looked around. There was also a woman, who sat on the couch. She did nothing but look high", he pauses and I try to process what he just said. He shakes his head and says: "When I look at our boys, I don't get it. How could anybody beat little children? How could you not just love and protect them?"
Shit. What do I do now? I thought it was something from his childhood but I didn't know it was this bad. What the hell did they do to him?
"Do you want a cup of tea? It's a great way to think about problems and to calm down." Great Ana. Is that the solution for the real problems of life? Did tea help you with the death of your husband? You are pathetic!
"Tea and looking at the children. Yes, please", he says, turning around and smiling at me, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me gently.
So I go downstairs into the kitchen. After a few minutes I return with a pot and two cups and we go to bed and drink tea. He puts one arm around me and I lay my head into the crook of his neck. Oh how I love his scent. It calms me to no end and I could sleep in this position till the end of day.
"It was a memory and not just a nightmare, wasn't it?" he asks me. I shoot my eyes open and think of a little Christian, beaten and burnt. Tears are falling down. I nod slowly and wipe my tears.
"He is responsible for my scars, too?" he asks.
I nod my head again. "I think so. You usually don't speak about it. I'm sorry. Come here." I pull him to me, my maternal instinct kicking in with full force. I lay his head on my chest, wrap my legs around him and stroke his hair. I make a mental note to tell Kate about it. After a few minutes we are both falling asleep.
I wake up to the sound of my alarm. I turn it off and look at Christian. He snores lightly and is still sleeping. I decide to go downstairs to wake up Kate. I do so and lie on the couch, crawling under her blanket and cuddling her. She wakes instantly.
"Ana Marijuana, what's the matter with you? Isn't he good in bed so you have to cuddle with me?" she asks drowsy.
"Kate! He remembers something. It's probably something from his childhood. He has scars on his chest and back, cigarette burns. In the night he dreamt about a couple - the man beat him and the woman sat on the couch and didn't help him, because she was on drugs probably. He was three or four years old. Oh Kate! He doesn't know more about them, but KATE! He was abused as a fucking child, a vulnerable one. How sick were these people. I could kill them. And KAAATIIIEEEE: He remembers another thing. This means, he will remember all his former life in no time. Fuck, fuck, fuck", I screech and hide my face in my hands.
"ANA! Calm down. I will call Ray to warn him in advance. I'll make sure, he has all the facts and can speak to Christian. This is absolutely no problem!" she says and calms me down. I smile. "And Annie: He will remember his former life one day, but surely, he will also remember his current life, so there is a chance you don't have to lose him. Think of that! And now: Make me a coffee, so I don't have to murder you", she giggles.
I stand up and make breakfast. Looking at the clock I wonder where Christian is. My boys are missing, too. So I make my way upstairs and go to my bedroom to wake Christian.
"Christian, come on, wake up, it's late!" I say in an urging tone.
"I don't mind!" he grumbles and turns to the other side.
"Christian! You must help the children get dressed and bring them to school and daycare!" I urge and shake him.
"I couldn't care less!" he says and brushes my hands off.
"Ok", I say and make a dramatic pause. "But then they are staying at home with you. The whole day!" I say indifferent.
Christian sits up and then jumps out of bed in an instant and runs to the boys' bedroom. I giggle. Men are so easy to manipulate.
After breakfast I say goodbye to all the important people in my life and hurry to my car. On my way to work, I think about the last week. One week ago, Christian came to our house and I ask myself, why nobody is searching for him. I really thought, it would be harder to 'hide' one of Seattle's most known citizens. But until now: nothing. Good for me, bad for him.
I work my way through the papers in my inbox, when Jack comes to my desk.
"Hey Ana!" he cheers.
"Oh hi Jack. How is your day?" I ask him politely.
"Fine, fine. I assume you don't have a lunch date today?" he asks carefully.
"Oh, what's the time? I completely forgot about lunch", I say absentmindedly.
"Good. I brought lunch for you. It's served in the kitchen", he proudly announces. I smile, because that's really sweet. So I stand up and go with him to our office kitchen. He leads me through the corridor with his hands on the small of my back. I guess, he's the overprotective type, but that's ok with me. We arrive at the kitchen and there are two bowls on the table. I sit in front of one and look at it. It looks quite good. It's a Caesar Salad with croutons. My stomach growls and I smile apologetic. He gestures encouragingly in my direction and I dig in.
While eating, we chat about our lives. He grew up in Detroit and received a scholarship to Princeton University and studied English Literature, too. It's an easygoing conversation and at the end he threatens to feed me, if I forget it ever again. I giggle and thank him.
Back at my table, my cell rings. I take it without looking.
"Hey there, Ana speaking", I cheerily say.
"Ana, it's Ray", he answers.
"Oh hi Ray. Did Kate call you?" I ask him.
"Yes, my dear. She told me all about Christians dream and what to say to him. I already talked to him and calmed him down as good as possible. Poor guy!"
"Good to hear. How are you? I feel like I haven't spoken to you for years", I confess.
"Oh Annie, honey, I am good. Christian helps me with my books and he's amazing. He teases out every dollar, so this year, the boys will have a special Christmas", he says.
"You spoil them, Ray!" I say disapprovingly but he chuckles.
"I'm the grandfather. When you have grandchildren, you will see", he says. "Oh, Christian comes my way, I have to end this call. Bye Annie."
"Bye Ray."
I smile. Kate is amazing. My smile disappears though when I think about Christian. I wonder what happened to him, so I Google Christian Grey. There is not much information about him. He was adopted by the age of four. That means, maybe this couple were his birth parents. I have the urge to embrace him and give him my love. Interestingly, there is no news that he went missing. I would really die to know why.
After work I meet with Kate to buy some clothes for the boys for the wedding. Kate insists to pay for them and I'm thankful, because this shit is really expensive. So we buy a grey suit, a white dress shirt and a yellow tie for Tommy. He will be going down the aisle before the bride, so he's super nervous and told me to buy qualitative clothes. And Andy gets grey pants, a grey vest and a yellow bow tie. He will look gorgeous, my little cutie. After shopping, we go for a coffee and then, Kate drives me home and thereafter crashes the couch of Hannah and Ethan.
When I come into the house, I hear some voices in the living room and make my way there. Christian and Ray are crawling on the floor, installing some tracks. Tommy and Andy have the trains in their hands and are cheering them on. I giggle. The adults are highly concentrated and it's funny to watch. They don't install a simple circle, but build a complicated track system through the room. I hop among the tracks into the kitchen and cook us dinner.
When dinner is ready, so are Christian and Ray and the track system. I have to lay down the law, so my guys take their seats on the table. After dinner, they play with the trains and Christian and Ray supervise Tommy and Andy. I sit on the couch and read a book. Every now and then I look at my men. Christian fits seemingly perfect into my family. After an hour or two, Ray takes the kids upstairs and gets them ready for bed while Christian puts the train set away. So I go and do the dishes. Thereafter, Ray comes down and says goodbye. I escort him to the front door. He looks at me expectantly and I don't know what he wants.
"Does Christian treat you well?" he asks and I blush immensely. He chuckles. "Look Annie, I know you loved my son and I'm forever thankful for it and I am thankful for my grandchildren. But don't forget to move on. And it looks like Christian is a good match for you. So don't shut yourself off from him just because you were married. I didn't have the luck of finding a second love", he says.
I look him in the eyes and say thoughtful: "I don't know if I can really move on. Brad was my first love and will be forever."
"Your first love will always be something special. But give a big round of applause for your second love, because it teaches you love still exists after you thought it never could again", he says and with that, he kisses my cheeks and goes to his car.
I feel kind of free. He gave me his blessing to move on from his son. It feels really good actually. I make my way to the bathroom. After a liberating shower I head to the bedroom and see that it's empty. So I rummage through my closet and look for a little more adult pajama and find one. Oh how I love Kate! I make a mental note to thank her. I put it on, lie in bed and read in my book. Shortly after, Christian enters our bedroom and looks at me. I can see the hunger in his eyes and smile. He crawls into bed, takes away my book and lays it on my nightstand.
"I talked with Ray about my dream", he states dryly.
"What did he say?" I ask eagerly.
"He was a marine and was here for my birth. But after a month he had to leave. My mother died a year after that, but Ray couldn't be here because of his contract. So I lived with my aunt, my mother's sister, and it was fine in the beginning, but then she met the man from my dream and slowly but surely, things started to get worse. She became a drug addict and this fucker abused me. As soon as dad saw me, he saved me and after a few months in the care of his brother's family, he came home and raised me, which wasn't very easy, but yeah. Here I am."
I look him in the eyes. "And how are you feeling now?" I ask.
"I am happy I remember something, even if it's a bad memory, because it means I'm starting to remember my former life", he says and then smiles. "I cannot wait to remember my life with you", he says and kisses me. I enjoy it and kiss him back. After a few minutes I break away and ask him: "Do you want to see our life?" He looks a bit confused, so I explain: "I found the photo albums." He grins. "Hell yeah!" So I stand up and get them. José is a hero, because the photos are actually very good.
So I show him my life with Brad … and his head photoshopped on him. I show him our wedding, vacations, our holidays with the families, my babies. He smiles like all the time and I ask myself secretly, if he had such a life. A loving family and happy times in general or if he just has a lot of money and is a very lonely man in real life. As we finish the last album, he hugs me and thanks me. I stand up, put the albums away and switch off the light. As I make my way back to the bed, I trip and fall on the ground. I moan in pain and sigh. Christian stands up immediately and asks what happened.
"Oh, you know, I tripped for the thousands time this month, nothing special!" I answer.
"Are you ok?" he asks worried.
I smile. "No, actually I hurt my knees", I whine and he sweeps me off of the floor, lays me on the bed and kisses me on my knees. Oh how I love that. He continues kissing me and wanders over my body. When he arrives at my mouth, he makes out shamelessly with me. And after that, he pulls me into him and we fall asleep spooning.
GreysFan4Evr - Thanks for your review!
ashley . mercer . 16 - Once again, the 'I speak French'-Scene is from the movie 'Overboard' - not from me ;)
Christian618 - He'll get some Ana, don't worry ;)
Pielietje - We'll see, maybe there will be an Epilog ;). And in MY opinion, you should definitely watch 'Overboard', but I'm a kid of the 80s and love those movies.