Chapter 14:

TRIS POV:

When I open my eye's the next morning, I'm staring at the mirror where I've placed all my pictures by. The images of Tobias and I when we were little, along with some family photos. I quickly turn away, not wanting to think about Tobias, the selfish things I've done to him.

A shiver runs down my spine as I stand up, exiting the warmth of my blanket, and into the chilly air. The clock on my phone tells me that I've woken up an hour early, the alarm I set not needed. I decide, with the time I have, to go take a shower to clear my head, thinking about my answers to all the questions at school.

When I step out of the tub and onto the tile, I disregard the towel I've set aside and instead stare at my naked body in the mirror. I have to wipe the foggy glass to see myself in full, the ugly figured person staring back at me. My body has no curves except for the tiny ridges of my ribs sticking out. The more I look, the more I hate what I see, regretting eating the bowl of strawberries last night.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have looked at myself naked in the mirror, especially because I already don't like the way I look with clothes on. The more I think, the more I realize how much of a favor I did for Tobias. Not only does he not have to worry about my well being, but he also doesn't have to look or kiss my hideous face anymore.

It takes me a while to slowly put on my sweatshirt, then slipping my leggings on as well. I decide to wrap the cuts on my arm, just in case some jackass decides to lift my sleeve to see them, because I'm sure the whole school knows by now.

The rest of the morning passes by in a blur and eventually I'm standing outside the school feeling like a girl with the word suicidal written across her forehead. I pull the purse/backpack further up my shoulder, keeping my hand on the strap.

I take a deep breath before walking through the front door and into the crowded hallways. I attempt to keep my head high as I walk towards my locker but as people begin to whisper and point my self esteem starts to diminish. Finally I make it to my locker and pull my purse off my shoulder opening my locker and placing it inside for now.

I try not to listen to the two girls standing by my locker, attempting to whisper to each other quietly about me, though I can't help but hear every word.

"Did you hear about her 'situation'?" The short brunette whispers, putting finger quotes around the word situation.

"God, who hasn't. Someone told me that she held a gun to her head and when her brother stopped her, she went for the knife, trying to slice her arms instead. Her brother managed to stop it but she still cut her arm and was sent to the hospital." The blonde says, not even trying to whisper, though every word is a lie.

I glance at them, catching the brunettes eye as she mumbles, "She should really be sent to a mental institution."

I slam my locker shut, putting on my anger and sorrow into the throw. The two girls jump back in shock muttering a few more things then scurrying off. I swallow my tears, walking to my first hour quickly, keeping my head down instead, the girl's words running through my thoughts.

I step into the math classroom, and stop immediately. My heart beat begins to pick up when he looks up from his phone, his eyes meeting mine.

I don't understand. Why is he in this class? He was never in this class before.

He places his phone down on the desk, motioning me to sit in the seat next to him. I put my head back down, losing the eye contact and proceed to walk to a seat in the back. His eyes follow me the entire time, even when I sit down he's still staring at me.

Soon enough the teacher starts class while I keep my head down, attempting to drown her out as she talks about our homework that was assigned over the weekend. Eventually I'm asked to show her mine, as I was supposed to finish it through email and print it out, but as I search through my bag, I can't find it.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. I can't seem to find it." I announce, and watch as she nods her head in understanding.

I think I'm safe until the boy sitting diagonally in front of me mumbles loudly, "Just like you couldn't find the right spot to cut."

Half the people in the room erupt into laughter, while the other half stare in astonishment at the guy, probably wondering why the hell he would say that. The teacher quickly stands from her desk, walking over to the boy and yelling at him in front of everyone.

My hearing is muffled by this point, the raging words spilling from her mouth not seeming to reach my ear as I look around the room watching everyone's reactions. I do notice, though, as the guy stands up and leaves, headed towards the principal's office glancing back at the class.

"Can I go with him, I'd rather not be in the same room as a suicidal." The boy that was sitting next to the first boy, says.

Before the teacher can yell at him also, I'm standing up grabbing my bag on the way. As I reach the door, I turn around looking at the guy who said it and say, "No I'll go, I'd rather not be in the same room as an asshole."

With that I walk out the door, my rage and boldness disappearing as soon as I'm standing alone in the hallway. Before the teacher can send the stupid dickhead out of the classroom to apologize, I run down the hall, stopping in front of my locker. I turn around, smashing my back up against it and slowly slide down, my knees coming up to my chest. Slowly I pull my hood over my head, the one or two students walking by seem to be totally oblivious of me, slumped against my locker.

As the first tear escapes, I cross my arms around my knees hugging them tighter as I put my head down, resting it on my arms. I ignore the sound of someone plopping down next to me, assuming it's probably that asswipe coming to apologize.

I don't move until I feel the light touch on my arm, goosebumps shooting up all the way through my body. I slowly rise my head, knowing that a touch like that only comes from Tobias. When I finally make eye contact with his deep ocean blue irises, I can't help but let the rest of my tears escape.

Even though I know Tobias is upset with me for the break up, I can't stop myself from making a dumb move. I unwrap my arms from around my legs, instead winding them around him, resting my face on his chest while I cry. Instead of the expected, Tobias pulls me in tighter, his arms wrapping around me, meeting at the small of my back.

He allows me to cry into him for quite a while until eventually he speaks up, "We should go get you cleaned up."

That when I realize what I'm doing. The pain I've gone through the past week would be all for nothing if I let him believe that we are okay, so instead I push myself off of him.

"I can do it myself. I don't need your help Four." I say harshly, though I hate what I said it has to be done, for him.

For him.

I glare at him as I walk myself to the girls bathroom, fixing the small amount of makeup I had on. I can't help but stare at myself in the mirror. The gap between my thighs was hard to get but now that I've accomplished it, people want me to gain weight. I'm just not hungry, foods unapealing to me.

I finished fixing my hair and makeup as the bell signalling class is over rings. So instead of staying in the bathroom all day, or just flat out ditching, I walk out of the bathroom and to my locker to get my book for World History. As I walk into the plain class room, I notice Tobias sitting near the front again, though he was never in this class.

I make it obvious to Tobias as I stumble across the room, taking my seat in the corner desk. I try to disappear in my seat, sliding down as low as I can go so that situations like last class won't happen again.

As the bell rings, Tobias glances at me once, his expression making me want to run to him and apologize, but I stay strong and tear my eyes away from him.

Class is over all too soon, and everyone floods the halls, scrambling to get to their next class or to get to lunch. I rush getting my books for English, then hustle to the classroom, arriving second. I take my seat in the back putting my head in my hands until the class starts.

I don't listen to most of it, but I do notice Christina in the front of the room, staring at me from afar. Tobias sits right next to her, his body slumped in his chair making it obvious he's in distress.

Soon class ends, and I take my time to leave, waiting for Christina and Tobias to exit but they never do. After around five minutes of me pretending to pack slowly, the teacher leaves and it's just Christina, Tobias, and I. I don't look up, but I can hear them whispering to each other, and after another minute, Christina comes over to me.

"Tris, the whole group wants you to sit with us at lunch, we miss you." She explains, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shrug it off, picking up my bag and placing my books into them. I still don't meet her eyes as I say, "Well I don't miss you."

I know it's really harsh, and it's hard to say the words, my whole body wanting to yell at myself, but I know I have to do this, for their sakes. I'm a burden for anyone and everyone who is around me, and cares for me. If I act rude and bitchy they will eventually leave, saving themselves from what is me.

"I was trying to ask nicely," Christina announces louder than before, "but now I'm not asking. You have to come with me and eat in the lunch room with me. The counselor pulled Four and I aside, telling us that we had to watch you. Four was assigned to watch you during class, so they switched him into all your classes, and I'm watching you at lunch. Tris, we care for you and want you to be healthy and happy."

I groan, "You guys just don't get it. I don't want to be babysat anymore. I don't want people to talk about me anymore. And I don't want you to care about me anymore. I want to be left alone, is that to much to ask?"

At first she has a stunned face, turning around and giving Tobias a look. Before she can speak, Tobias does, answering my question harshly, "Yes."

Christina takes my arm in her hand and drags me all the way to the lunch room. Coming in late doesn't help the fact that people would have already been staring at me, so as we open the doors, Christina pulling me to the table, all eyes are on me. I take my seat quickly, Christina placing herself on one side of me and Tobias on the other.

Uriah, Marlene, Zeke, Will, and Shauna, smile as I sit, they obviously don't realize how much I wish I wasn't here. They all say some sort of greeting, trying to make me feel welcome, but the stares are drilling holes into my back. It feels like there are over 100 people just watching me, whispering about the things I did.

I tilt my head down so that I'm glaring at my lap, and soon enough I feel Tobias's hand on my knee under the table. He gives me a squeeze then lets go, my body immediately missing his touch. I know how much easier this day would be with Tobias, but having him is selfish, and I can't be, I just can't.

"Tris, I'm going to go get you something to eat." Tobias whispers, trying to make it non obvious.

"I'm not hungry." I say, Tobias looking at me incredulously.

"I'm here to help, and you need to eat." He demands, not as quiet but still quiet enough.

I look up at him, straight in the eyes, "You're not my father."

He huffs, muttering, "Thank god I'm not."

I feel my eyebrows furrow immediately, my eyes becoming glassy. I knew it. He thinks I'm a burden. He's glad he's not my father because he would be stuck with someone like me as a daughter.

I quickly stand, not being able to pull myself back together, though I know I was not meant to hear his mean words. I hustle out of the lunchroom, my legs running as fast as they can to the girls bathroom. Once inside, I fall to the dirty floor, my body giving out. I sob, my figure moving with the cries, and I thank god that no one is in the bathroom.

After about a minute, the door opens and I panic, scared some random teenager will see me in this state. But as I look up, my body is engulfed in a warmth, the smell of sweat, metal, and something distinctly male, coming off this person's body. I know the smell, as my brain has matched it with the word safety. Tobias.

He rubs my hair as he pulls me closer to his body, hugging me to him tight. I'm confused as to why he is in the girls bathroom, caring for me after what he said. He thinks I'm a burden, so why the hell is he here caring about me?

"S-stop." I cry, trying to push him away but he doesn't let go of me.

"Tris, I don't understand what I did. I loved you...and still do. I just want to know why. Please." He begs.

I sob a few times, soaking his shirt, but eventually, my cries become quiet and the tears are coming out silent. I don't understand how he hasn't figured it out yet, but I'm positive he won't let me go until I tell him. So that's what I'll have to do, tell him the truth.

Hey guys! I tried to get this up as early as I could. I have a ton of volleyball and school getting in the way and it makes me mad. I really enjoy writing for you guys. By the way, if you guys could review the name of a divergent fan fiction that you really like, or is similar to mine I would really appreciate it. I like reading them. So review good ones!

On a different note, some reviewers are commenting on how Tris would never act the way she does in the story and that she would be stronger. I'm sorry. I kind of just wrote what I felt like any teenager who's depressed would feel. I guess she is a little out of character, and I'm truly sorry. Tell me what you wish I did better. I will try to get better, just tell me what I need to fix. Thank you for telling me.

So review some fan fictions that are good. Also review what you don't like and do like about this story, I hope I'm doing okay. Thank you for reading so far, and thank you for the support. Sorry this is such a long A/N! Love you guys! Please review!

~Divergent24-7