Chapter 16:
TOBIAS POV:
The next day after school, I idle my car outside the front of the school, waiting patiently for the Jane girl to arrive. After a few minutes I see her come out of the front doors, walking straight up to my car and hopping in.
"Hey," she greets, her voice high pitched and fake, "so where are you taking me?"
I don't give her the usual you look nice, comment and instead stare straight ahead, driving away from the school.
"Well you said we could go out for dinner, but I was thinking we could go out for a snack instead… how about frozen yogurt?" I ask, not giving her one glance.
"Well you know I can't get a body this skinny just like that Four. If we are going to go get frozen yogurt, we will have to share one, because I can't eat a whole one." Jane complains, shifting in her seat so she is able to stare at me.
"Fine," I huff, already able to tell that this will not go good, but I will have to make the best of it.
It only takes five minutes to arrive at Freezes, and as soon as we walk in, Jane squeals like Christina does when she see's a pair of high heels when the girls go shopping with us. I watch as Jane sprints over to the cups, pulling them out and getting a big serving of sherbet frozen yogurt. I roll my eyes as she tops it with billions of calories, obviously not sticking to her skinny pact.
I walk over to the cups, grabbing one for myself, then filling it up with cake batter frozen yogurt. I decide on getting half a cup, as I don't have much of an appetite at the moment. Jane has already weighed her yogurt and is sitting down, waiting for me to weigh mine and pay for both of ours.
When I finish, her yogurt costing 70% more than mine, I sit down in the seat in front of her, eating my yogurt silently while examining her face. She's got freckles spread around her nose, just stopping underneath her deep green eyes. Her hair is pure black, but she has dyed the tips purple, considering how much it's fading, quite a while ago. Jane's lips are thin, her nose small to match, but her eyes are huge, making it easier to notice them.
I quickly look her over once, trying to make it go unnoticeable. She's got big boobs, and a small waist, her shirt clinging to her flat stomach. Her skin is tan, though it looks fake with her freckles.
My thoughts about how much of an opposite Tris looks than her are interrupted when she says, "Hey Four, you seem like a quality guy, so you can be my boyfriend, but on one condition. You stay on the football team. I heard that you were missing a few practices because you stayed at that house with that one girl who was having emotional problems…"
I take a deep breath, keeping myself from punching this girl in the face as she talks about Tris. Though as she says it, I realize that, if I become her boyfriend, maybe thats enough to get Tris to be friends with me again, then I can break up with Jane.
"Sure, anything for you. I will meet you tomorrow before first hour, okay?" I ask as we begin to get up and throw away our empty cups.
"Yep." She smiles getting into my passenger seat then directing me towards her house so I can drop her off.
It isn't long before she's getting out of my car, demanding me to walk her up to her front door. I ultimately agree, getting out myself and leading her to her house, saying, "See you tomorrow morning."
"Bye boyfriend." Jane giggles, standing on her tip toes and pecking my cheek.
As soon as I'm back in my car, I wipe her lipstick off my cheek, complaining to myself about how much I dislike this girl.
When I got up this morning my back hurt like hell from when my father decided to give me a nice beating last night after he got home. Now, as I stand in my shower, I can feel some of the scabs on my back getting rinsed away by the hot, steamy water. I ignore to stinging pain, telling myself that sooner or later, karma will get him, or maybe it will just be the cops. Then again it feels like that type of hope has vanished ever since my mother passed.
It's not long before I'm at school, walking through the hallways trying to find Jane who just so happens to be in my first hour. Eventually I find her leaning against a locker, and as soon as she see's me, a huge smile spreads across her lips as she runs to me.
She gives me a hug before saying, "Hey babe."
"Hi." I reply, hugging her back in an awkward way.
She talks about how annoying her 'friends' on the cheer team are, and I get the instant need to roll my eyes at her petty problems. When we enter the classroom my eyes automatically shift to Tris. She's got a black hoodie on, but the sleeves are rolled up so you can see the bandage wrapped around her arm. Her eyes meet mine, and in that split second, I see all the emotions going through her. My heart pounds as Jane and I sit next to each other, her, continuingly blabbing about her cheer team.
I'm still looking in Tris's general direction when Jane's lips meet mine.
TRIS POV:
Last night was rough, thoughts of what I said to Tobias running through my mind all night. I can't believe I actually told him I wasn't going to be his friend until I saw that he had moved on. I don't want him to move on. I can't have him move on.
As I wake up, my eyes are automatically drawn to the open door, as my mom is standing in the doorway waiting for me. When I stand, ignoring her pleads for me to walk downstairs with her, I keep to myself and walk to the bathroom. Caleb got in late last night, and I know he's going to want to watch and take close care of me for a while. When I finish brushing my teeth, putting makeup on, and rewrapping my arm, I make my way down stairs, Caleb finds me, pulling me towards the kitchen.
"So Mom made an amazing breakfast and wants you to eat it. I can eat it with you." He pleads, not releasing my arm when I attempt to pull it from him.
"Caleb I'm not hungry. My stomach doesn't feel good, and I threw up last night," all lies, "just this once let me skip, please." I beg and eventually he gives in, muttering something about this, for sure, being the last time.
I throw myself into the car, but as I begin to start it up, my mom runs out the garage door, motioning me to stop. As I roll down the window, refusing to stop, she comes over to my door, looking at me with a serious face.
"I thought I told you I was going to drive you to school." She says, opening my door for me.
I sigh and climb out, "It's not like I need to be babysat every second, Mom. I wasn't going to try and kill myself in a car wreck."
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them, wanting to grab them from the air and shove them back into my brain where no one can hear them. My mothers eyes glass over, but she just turns around and hops into her own car, starting it as I get into the passenger seat.
It's an awkward, deadly silent car ride to my school, my mother only speaking when we get there, telling me how much she loves me. I return the love by giving her a quick hug, then sliding out of the car, making my way to my locker, then first hour. Luckily I haven't had any encounters with Tobias, or any of the other people who insist we are friends.
I take my seat in the back, hoping a repeat of yesterday is not coming my way. I put my sleeves up, messing with the wrap around my arm, crazy bored. Soon enough I feel eyes on me, and my first instinct to look up was a bad one. Tobias's deep blue irises are staring back into mine for what seems like hours, but are only a few seconds.
Eventually he takes a seat sitting next to my polar opposite. Jane. We meet earlier this year, but it wasn't the best encounter. She made it loud and clear that I was not who she liked, nor who she would socialize with. The only person I told about this was Christina, because of the one day before school when Jane pushed me to the ground while I was talking with Christina.
And just as the Tobias's eyes meet mine once more, her lips are on his, and my mind is going blank.
No, no, no. This can't be happening. The one girl, who hates me more than I hate myself, is smacking lips with Tobias. My Tobias.
That's not even the worst part...he's kissing her back.
What happens next is not under my control, my body moving without my mind approving. I quickly stand and in one swift motion am over to Jane and Tobias's desks. My hands are balled in fists which soon collide with Jane's jaw. I don't hear a crack, but I do hear a loud pitched scream come from Jane, her lips coming apart from making out with Tobias.
Just as the bell for first hour rings, I'm out the door, rushing to the bathroom. I go into the single ones, praying for it to be unlocked so I can lock it myself. When I reach it, I yank on the handle, thankfully it opens, and I slip in just as I see Tobias coming out of our math class. As quick as I can, I slam the door shut, locking, then sliding down it. It's not long before I hear loud bangs on the hard wood of the door.
"Tris please open up! I-I am so sorry! Please!" He yells, his voice pleading me, but I refuse.
The tears begin the flow again, silently making their way down my cheeks. I crawl over to the other side of the small bathroom, then curl up into a ball and cry my heart out. I thought the two boy scenario yesterday was bad, but this was worse. My concious had tried to warn me that I was not meant to be loved, but when Tobias came back, after the hospital, I tried to convince myself I was.
Now I sit here, my heart shattered to pieces because I choose to believe myself. I wish I had died that night, I wish those pills were stronger, and the paramedics slower. I should have cut my arm more, maybe the bleeding plus the pills could have quickened my death. Now I have people babysitting me 24/7, making it impossible for me to accomplish any damage.
The other night I asked my mom to get me more pills, because I had a splitting headache, but instead she got me liquid medicine. I would have to drink around six bottles for liquid medicine to do any serious harm at all, so that's definitely another thing I have to worry about. It's almost been an hour, when I hear the door click, it getting pushed in towards my body hunched in the corner.
"Oh my god, Tris."
Strong arms wrap around my small body, but I don't move from my position. I know it's Tobias, and he says thank you to someone, and soon after the door is shut. The arm are still around me, but I don't make an attempt to show that I care, I just continue crying into myself.
"Tris, please acknowledge me...I'm so sorry." He begs, his fingers trying to push mine away from my legs.
Soon enough, he has me unraveled, though I had no choice because of his muscular arms prying my hands away. I try to scoot away from him, but he grabs both my shoulders, pulling my body into his. I close my eyes tight, refusing to put my arms around his body, though I can feel his hands rubbing my back, trailing up and down.
"Please, say something Tris, please." He begs as he takes my chin in his hand.
"Just let me die. I want to die. I don't understand why you guys wont let me just die. Please." My voice is strained and cracks more than I would have thought it would.
Tobias is silent for a moment, his body absolutely still, then he begins to speak, "Never say that. I-I can't live without you, Tris...If you die, I die too."
If you die, I die too…
If I kill myself, like I plan to, will he kill himself too? Is that what he's saying? His death will be on my hands because I killed myself, so he has to do the same?
"That-That's not fair. You can't just go off yourself because I did." I mumble, my heart rate kicking up at the thought of Tobias's death being my fault.
"I can and I will. Tris I don't think you understand how much you mean to me." He says, brushing my hair back.
"...but you have Jane." I cringe when her name slips from my lips.
He takes a deep breath, looking down at the ground while placing his hand on my cheek, his pinkie and ring finger sliding behind my ear. He looks back up, his hypnotizing eyes pulling me in.
"Tris, I only got with Jane because of you." He whispers, his cool breath breezing across my face.
"What do you mean?" I question, my eyes unable to stray from him.
"In the bathroom, you told me that you wouldn't be my friend if you hadn't seen I had clearly moved on…," Tobias pauses, his face seeming to inch closer every second, "I want you to be more than my friend but if I can't have that, I at least need you to be my friend. I'm still really confused on why you broke up with me, but what I do know for sure is that I love you, and I never wanted to let you go."
All my previous thoughts about being selfless and honest with myself, slip from my mind, and I find myself leaning in closer to him. Finally I lean in close enough that our lips brush against each others, him erasing all space between us, and really connecting our lips together.
I am so so sorry everyone. I feel so bad, but my account wouldn't let me make a new document for some reason and then I had to leave for a trip with my volleyball team, where we were not aloud to use electronics at all... Please forgive me! Tell me how you like this chapter by reviewing! Please Review!
~Divergent24-7