Truths are demanded, and an agreement is reached
A bit of a slow chapter, more of a transition than anything. Don't worry, the next chapter will start with a lot of fluff.
That night, Dick found the pattern in the ceiling above the bed especially interesting. The wood grain of each strip was artfully placed to create a flow which almost let his mind focus on something other than Wally. Wally. He filled his lungs with air and let it all out in one long puff, but it did nothing to ease the tension in his shoulders.
He kept his gaze forward, to the ceiling. If he looked to his right he would only encounter a fluffy wall of pillows. But he knew Wally was laying just a few inches from him, could feel the warmth despite the distance and makeshift barrier. Occasionally he would feel Wally move, turning in his sleep which had come so easily to the speedster. So, he glanced left instead. The bright blue of the alarm clock read somewhere between 'far too late' and 'far too early'. He was a bat, a vigilante of the night; he doubted sleep would have came easily even if he wasn't replaying the afternoon over and over. But- he would have tried to sleep if Wally had given him more than a deflecting answer to his questions. For best friends, they sure were luke-warm.
" I just like to run sometimes."
"I just do."
"Why are you so interested?"
"Hey, did you want to grab dinner at the bar downstairs?"
Another sigh, deeper this time.
Dinner hadn't been any better, but he let Wally talk his ear off about the newest bit of research they were doing. Neither acknowledged their server's remark of 'Would you like to split dessert? Couples always love the lava cake'- because embarrassing. It didn't phase Wally one way or another, and he ordered one to go without looking Dick's way. The single bite he managed to steal had been very tasty.
He shifted his position, folding an arm behind his head. Maybe he should call it, admit he wasn't going to be able to sleep while Wally was so close. And so far. He mentally shook his head. The case he was working wasn't pressing, but it could be a nice distraction.
Like the champagne.
When they returned from dinner, the bottle of champagne and box of truffles was waiting on the high table in the dinette. He glanced at the label as he walked past, and damn, that was an expensive bottle. Wally had spared no expense for Artemis. She didn't deserve it. The pressure it took to bite his lip, to keep from saying it out loud, nearly drew blood. When he walked back around after changing into his PJs, he noticed the card was in the trash. He plucked it out and read it before Wally could protest. 'Congratulations! May your life together be full of joy and love'.
Wally jerked it from his hand and tossed it back to the trash. "Don't."
Shit. He hadn't known. Had no idea. "Fuck. Wally I-"
"Don't." The speedster's tone was dangerously level.
Don't? Well, too fucking bad. "Walls…"
But, he hadn't known what to say.
And he still had no clue. They barely spoke since then, each stewing in their own thoughts. Dick sighed again. He felt the bed move as Wally shifted once more.
Suddenly, his vision of the wood ceiling was replaced by white cotton. The force of the pillow hitting him wasn't as jarring as the voice which accompanied it. "For fucks sake, you keep sighing like Arte did that time I played that prank on her and she couldn't decide if she wanted to break up with me or kiss me."
He pushed the pillow away and sat up slightly. "Which time?"
It earned him another pillow aimed at his face, but he was prepared this time and caught it mid swing. With a quick yank and twist, he pulled it out of Wally's hands and put it out of his reach.
Maybe it was lack of sleep (as if), or the cumulation of conflicting emotions (probably), or just how close Wally was (definitely), but Dick couldn't find it in him to care what came out of his mouth at that point. "Speaking of Arte." He let himself have half a second to enjoy the look of shock forming on Wally's face -what he could make out in the darkness- before pushing ahead. "You were going to propose?"
He felt, more than saw, Wally look away. "I told you to drop it."
"When have you ever known me to do what I'm told?" His mouth took a downward turn, which Wally couldn't have seen even if he was looking. "Why didn't you tell me. Before. Or after, while I was trying to comfort you. Shit Wally. I'm your best friend. Or was all that talk on the ride here just lip service to get me to shut up?"
Wally balled the comforter in his hands. After a few moments of silence, Dick pushed on. He would get an answer. Either way, he wanted the truth.
"Why even invite me? You've deflected almost this entire trip so far! You could have just taken the loss or came alone. Am I just here to entertain you? To build snowmen armies?" He was running out of steam, running out of things to say. Running out of patience.
Wally gave a humorless chuckle. "Those were some awesome snowmen."
His back flinched, caught between a cold shiver and locking straight. The flaw of Dick Grayson. He cared, couldn't help it. And he felt. He could turn it off when he wore the mask, had learned to bury it early on when he still wore the R on his chest. But Dick Grayson felt. The cold of the wood floor on his feet grounded him slightly, and he could think beyond the pounding in his ears.
He was halfway to the bathroom, calculating the best course to get his Nightwing costume on and himself out a window, when a flash a red and orange and his path was blocked. A warm hand on his shoulder pushed him back to the edge of the bed. The dim light of the table lamp filled the room, Wally must have turned it on when he zipped over. There would be no more hiding in the dark.
"I get it." He refused to look away from the wall as he spoke in a hoarse voice. "I do, Wally. You don't need to... to try and keep holding on. I won't hold it against you if you walk away. If you don't want me in your life then-"
"You ass." He couldn't read Wally's tone, but refused to look up at his friend to study his face. He didn't want to see. Wally continued, digging his fingers into Dick's shoulders as he spoke. "You think I don't want you in my life? I need you in it."
Blue eyes snapped up to meet green.
Wally continued, "I invited you because I haven't seen you- not in months. And- shit." He removed his hand from Dick's shoulder to run it through his red hair. "I don't know how it got this bad."
"Maybe because you won't talk to me?" His gaze turned into a challenge.
"Me?" Wally threw his hands in the air and spun slightly in place. "I won't talk to you? You know that is a two way street, right?"
Dick ground his back teeth. "What are you talking about?" Did he know- had he somehow found out?
Wally inflated a bit, and Dick remembered why angering a speedster was a terrible idea. A pale finger was in his face, nearly touching his nose. "You. You! You haven't talked to me- not really. Since I've been back you haven't talked to me. Playing video games with Roy doesn't count."
His whole demeanor changed, the boiling rage evaporated as he took a seat on the bed, leaving no space between them. "Dick. Fuck, I need some sleep before I word vomit."
"You've never been very articulate anyway." It was a lame attempt, but it eased some of the tension out of Wally's shoulders.
"I thought you didn't care- that you had just gone on living without me. That my death didn't affect you at all." Wally's voice was just above a whisper, strained with emotion. "Everyone from the old team nearly suffocated me with their worry, their constant checking up. But it was good to know they cared, that they had missed me and wanted to spend time with me. But not you. Even Tim came over. But after that first time, you disappeared. Had an excuse every time. So, I stopped inviting you over. Stopped talking about personal stuff- because why bother, right?
"Then why bother now?" Dick felt his throat begin to constrict again. They hadn't fallen away while he and Artemis dated, it was deliberate. He thought he was doing the right thing by staying out of their way. At the shimmer in Wally's eyes, he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer than they already were. How had he miscalculated so terribly?
"After you showed up, took care of me when she left…" Wally let his head fall against his shoulder. "When you left after that week I made a comment to Roy about it." Dick felt him shake with a humorless laugh. "I forget what I said exactly, but Roy nearly took off my head for thinking you didn't care. Yelled at me- made me sit while he told me…"
Dick tensed. He was going to have a talk with Roy. "I didn't want you to know. Didn't want you to worry." He rushed the words out, giving Wally a squeeze closer to him.
"You should have told me you quit the team. That you- shit. I felt like such an ass after he told me everything."
Talking about his complete devastation at Wally's death was not what he thought he would be doing on this trip. Dick forced himself not to nuzzle his nose against Wally. Too intimate. Too dangerous. He couldn't tell Wally, wouldn't let him have the clues to figure it out. Wally needed a friend, not some jackass trying to get into his pants. He settled for rubbing a circle pattern on his back. Having Wally close was all he needed, all he wanted, and hopefully the contact soothed Wally too .
"Yea. I, um. I had to step back. Evaluate just how much of an ass I was." Wally lifted his head off Dick's shoulder so he could look him in the eyes. "I came back and went straight to Arte, acted like she was then one who needed-"
"Wally. She did need you. We all grieved differently." He lifted a finger to wipe at the trail on Wally's cheek. "I'm sorry. For being an ass tonight." Please stop talking about it. "And the last year." Please don't make me remember losing you. "Let's both get some sleep and talk more in the morning."
Wally sighed and gave a mute nod. Before he could say anything else, Wally pulled him into a bone crushing hug. "I'll tell you everything."
"Me too." He gently nudged Wally back to his side of the bed while mentally berating himself for promising something he knew he couldn't hold to.
"Goodnight."
"Night." Emotional exhaustion was a hell of a thing and sleep finally found him.
Thank you for reading!
All of your encouragement has been wonderful! I'm trying to keep this updated, but it wasn't supposed to be this long, and, well, time is not on my side right now.