Chapter 24:
TRIS POV:
When I wake up, I notice the plush bed I'm lying on, soon causing me to realize that I haven't died in that grassy field, though I kind of wish I had. I quickly scan around me, checking to see if I'm in my room, thankfully finding familiar surroundings including a face I know very well. My brother sits in my desk chair, his head fully back, his arms crossed in front of him, fast asleep.
I secretly slide out of bed, tiptoeing to the bathroom while shutting the door quietly. As soon as the door is shut, I can feel my heartbeat begin again, a faster rate than normal as I look in the mirror and see grass stains covering my clothes. Not long after I remember the events that happened last night, and soon I'm hoping it was all just a horrible nightmare, but I know it wasn't.
Eventually I begin crying to myself in the mirror, my sobs quickly turning loud causing knocks to come from the door, inevitably my brother trying to get in. This continues for a while until I hear the knocks stop and soon enough the door is being opened, my brother entering the bathroom with the door's key in his hand.
He walks right up to me and wraps me in a tight hug. I try to shove him off but, to be honest, I need it and wanted his comfort. When he begins to lead me back into the bedroom, I try to wipe my tears away unsuccessfully as new ones just replace them. I don't know what to say, and I know that my brother is leaving soon to go on a campus tour at Harvard University with my parents. I don't want to be the little sister to make him have to stay home.
Caleb takes a seat in the chair once again, and I sit on the edge of my bed, silently letting tears roll down my cheeks. Eventually he speaks up asking, "Tris, what happened?"
"Please Caleb, I don't want to talk about it, he's not worth it."
"Who's not worth it? Tobias?" He presses, leaning forward, then getting up and sitting next to me on the bed, beginning to rub my back. I just look to the other side of the room, avoiding his eyes, and he takes that as a yes, "What did he do?"
"Caleb, I said I don't want to talk about it." I say sternly, though my voice is slowly getting weaker. We do nothing but sit in silence for a while until he gets up and begins walking to the bedroom door.
"Do you want anything for breakfast?" He asks, opening the door but waiting patiently for an answer.
"I guess…" I give a little sniffle to stop my nose from running, "What time are you, mom, and dad leaving?"
"Around one, but I'm not sure we will leave. I'm not going to leave you alone here Tris. I know you are hurting right now because of something Tobias did, and I'm not sure if I should trust you to be responsible for yourself." Caleb tells me truthfully and I have to look at the ground, refusing to make eye contact again. "Tris, I found you in field next to a playground hyperventilating, having a panic attack. As soon as I got to you, you had passed out. If you don't expect me to go find out what happened then you are crazy."
"Please don't do that Caleb." I beg him hopping off the bed and following him as he leaves my bedroom to head for the kitchen.
"Then just tell me!" He yells, stopping in the hallway and turning to face me.
Most people would be hurt by their brother yelling at them, but something inside of me switches and I no longer feel pain and heartbreak, I just feel anger and determination. "He cheated on me Caleb! And if that's not enough, she was a skinny blonde slut!" I scream glaring at him.
His eyes quickly soften, turning sympathetic towards me, but I still feel nothing. The hallway is enveloped in silence until we hear our parents bedroom door being opened. Out walks my mother and father confusion written all over their expressions.
"What happened?" My mother asks, going over to me and cradling my, puffy and red from crying, face.
"It's not important." I state, no emotions coming from me. Caleb leaves the room, giving me one sorrowful glance, then escaping down the stairs and towards the kitchen. "You guys are leaving at one correct?"
"Yes, unless we need to stay here." She says, giving me a knowing look.
"No I promise I'm fine," though I'm far from it, "I honestly would love the alone time." Though I know I wont be sane for long.
"Okay sweetie. I expect Caleb went downstairs to go and get breakfast started?" She questions, looking down the stairs, then back down at me.
"Yes, and I think that you should probably tell him to hurry because by the time he's done cooking, and we've all eaten, you guy will have to be heading out." I tell them, hoping they don't catch on the true reason I want them gone.
"Okay, and I want to make sure you are alright." She pushes, brushing a small piece of hair behind my ear, "Your father, brother, and I love you and want you to be safe here alone...we don't want you to feel lonely…"
I'm not stupid enough to not know what she's hinting at, she doesn't want me to try again. So I reply, hoping they don't catch the lie, "I will call Tobias and ask him to stay here if he wants... if that makes you feel better."
"That would be wonderful. I will leave you to that, and when you are done, come downstairs and eat breakfast with us as a family before we leave." She says, grabbing my father's-who stands idly on the side-hand and leads him away.
I walk to my room and pull out my phone, only to see it's lit up, Tobias's face flashing across the screen with his name across it. I don't want to pick up, but I know that if I don't, he will end up coming to my house, causing my parents to figure out that there is a problem between Tobias and I.
I quickly slide to the right, putting the phone to my ear and waiting for him to say something, because I'm not sure I can talk at the moment. It takes a second for him to realize that I actually picked up.
"Tris?" He asks, his voice breathy like it usually does when he gets nervous.
I don't respond, just breath loud enough so that he knows I'm on the phone with him. I refuse to speak to him, and I'm sure that if I said anything, he would know what's happening. Tobias is well aware of my 'switch' that I turn off when I don't want to feel, and he know's that I sound lifeless, emotionless when I talk with my switch turned off.
"Tris, I can hear you breathing…" He trails off, waiting a few seconds before continuing to talk, "I'm sorry. I-I don't remember it but I-"
I cut him off, not caring anymore if he hears the effect he had in my voice, I want him to hear it, "Stop. Just stop. I was stupid to let myself trust you, and the only one I should be blaming is myself, I let myself believe it was okay to trust you. I'm done Tobias, I'm done. I'm done with you, I'm done with school, I'm done with feeling, and most of all I'm done with living." I pause for a second, thinking about what I just said, then I quickly add, "And just so you know, I'm not going to kill myself, I deserve the pain you gave me, so I will be home, alive but if you get anywhere near me or my house, I won't hesitate to stab a knife through my own heart."
I know I've done the trick when I hear him suck in a breath, shakingly letting it slip from his lips, what he usually does when he begins to cry silently. "Please, Tris. Please don't do that. I love you. P-please." He begs, stuttering, his voice making it easy to imagine his tear streaked face.
"Goodbye Four. Have a nice life." I tell him, feeling nothing, no remorse or guilt. Absolutely nothing.
TOBIAS POV:
"Goodbye Four." She says, her voice stone cold as she uses my nickname against me, "Have a nice life."
These words tear at my heart, making it feel as though it's shattered into a billion different pieces. That was my third strike. First, I left her. Second, she thought I cared too much. And now I've hit the final straw, I cheated on her. I cheated on her...I cheated on Tris.
I bang my head hard against the steering wheel, the silent tears continuing to stream down my face in a steady flow. I know I should go home, Marcus was expecting me late last night, though I fell asleep at Zeke's, basically guaranteeing a beating. So I put my vehicle in drive, letting the tears go, and drive toward my inevitable hell.
By the time I make it to my house, its around 11:50am and I just as I figured, my fathers home. His car is parked outside the garage telling me that later he wants to make a quick escape. I move slowly, regretting every thing that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.
When I open the door, I'm meet with a dark setting, the windows all closed already, it takes me a second to notice the man like silhouette on the beginning stairs. As he begins to stand up, I notice the belt in his hand, already gripped tightly and ready to slice into my body.
Though I know I should run, fight back, or do something to deflect the pain he is about to bring upon me, I realize I don't want to stop him. He's doing something that I should have done to me.
I cheated on Tris.
The dirtiness in those few words send chills up and down my back, Marcus doesn't even say a word as he steps closer, his figure becoming bigger as he pulls back his belt. The first lash slams against my face, cutting my cheek, making a trail of blood leak down.
"Where were you Tobias?" He yells, bringing another one down across my shoulder.
"I-I was out…" My words seem to fail me, nothing more coming out though the whole ride back I had planned out a speech on the exact thing he wants an answer to.
"Hah!" He laughs while whipping my chest, "That's a great excuse...for a lying piece of shit. You are a waste of space in this household. Thank god your mother is no longer with us, it's your fault in the first place that I had to go out and cheat on her!"
I lye on the ground, my own blood leaking from new opened cuts on my body, listening to the horrible words he tells me. He cheated on my mom too. I'm like him in more ways than one. And now as my shirt becomes completely red from soaking up my own blood, I realize, the reason me and Tris aren't working is because we both are broken.
It just me who wants to deny it, while she's sorta excepted it. It's me who told her, and promised her that I would be the one to fix her. And I am going to be that person, damn-it. I don't care if it takes me a while to heal myself first, I will eventually heal her. I just need to give her a little space for the moment, as well as let the wounds Marcus is currently making heal and I will go talk to her. Though the words she said on the phone haunt me, if you get anywhere near me or my house, I won't hesitate to stab a knife through my own heart.
So this chapter is a little darker, and the next chapters may be a little worse, but I feel like thats just how I write. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, though I know it's not the best, please review! and the clear things up, I was away on a volleyball tournament so I could write and then when I got home I got sick...and am still sick. Anyway, I know that those are sucky excuses and I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you to all who review lasted chapter, they all made my day's. Keep it up! Please Review!
~divergent24-7