Chapter 27:
TRIS POV:
"Tris." I hear, with a large calloused hand gently touching my hair.
I want to tell whoever it is to leave because I feel horrible and I really dont want to open my eyes. My body feels like it's caving in on itself, my head pounding with every sound and every move. I try to speak up to tell this person to leave, but instead all that comes out is a low groan.
Rather than speaking, because I know thats next to impossible right now, I begin to open my eyes, much to my discomfort. As my eyes open slowly due to the constant thumping inside my brain, I realize that everything in front of me is incredibly blurry and it's almost impossible to make out who is sitting right in front of me.
When my vision clears, my eyes are met with familiar ocean blue eyes. His dark brown hair, complementing his tan skin with his black shirt just tight enough to make his muscles pop. I don't miss how he has large bags under his eyes or that fact that he has a split lower lip. Not only that but I also notice the tears building in his eyes, threatening to spill. I know this man right away, it's Tobias.
As much as I want to kiss him and hug him, whispering in his ear how much I have missed him, the images from that night flash across my memories. I try to sit up but I move to quickly and suddenly it feels like someone is grabbing my brain and squeezing the life out of it. Instead I lie back down, shutting my eyes as tight as they will go, wishing and praying that Tobias won't touch me, or talk to me, and just leave.
"Tris, please calm down, I just want to talk, please." He pleads, his hand long gone from my face.
I know that the only way to make him leave, is to hurt him, hit him in a soft spot, so I say as harsh as I can, "I don't want to talk to you, Four. You are a coward, just like your father. I hate you."
My own words make me want to cry as I say them, and as I open my eyes again, I look deep into his. They are glazed over, tears now on the edge and ready to fall down his cheek. I can see the clear pain and agony of my words flash in his eyes, but I also see a hint of determination.
I try not to show the pain I hold for him, and instead I fill my head with the picture of him and that blonde making out, just to fuel my fire. I hope he doesn't see what is happening or what I'm trying to do but as I stare into his eyes, I can tell he notices the pain in mine.
Just to emphasize my meaning to the horrible words, I say, "Get out of my house now."
But when the sentences leaves my mouth, the regret and sorrow filled in his eyes are too much for me to handle so I look to the side as the tears begin to fall down my face. I hope that he doesn't notice them, but I know that if I say anything more, my voice will give out and he will for sure know then.
He exhales deeply, letting me hear the misery in his voice, "I just want to talk to you, and if you don't ever want to see me ever again, even after that then I will be out of your life for good, I promise."
The statement stings and I know that if I say anything at all I would do is burst into tears, so I let him go on talking.
"That night...that night. The last thing I remember from that night is Zeke handing me one of his famous Pedrad mixtures. Everything after that is just black. I woke up the next morning with a major headache, on one of Zeke's couches. I woke Zeke up who was on the other side of me and checked my phone. I had a missed call from Caleb…. the fact that your brother called immediately set a red flag off in my mind. I couldn't understand why I wasn't with you at that moment. I knew I was supposed to take you home that night.
"I asked Zeke where you were and the look he gave me, instantly I knew something bad had happened… but never in a million years would I have thought it would be because of me. When he told me that you and him found me in his room kissing another girl, at first I was in shock and didn't really believe him, but after a while of complete panic, I realized it was true and I… I broke myself. I could tell Zeke wanted to be mad but I was sobbing in his shirt, Tris. I'm pretty sure I scared him half to death because not once in almost three years I've known him have I even as much as shown a sad look on my face, but there I was, soaking his shirt though." He pauses for a couple minutes, probably expecting me to talk and even though I want to tell him how sorry I am for not giving him a chance to explain, I'm still hurt by what happened. "Please Tris, please tell me how you felt. I need to know."
I know that the tears are now coming down at a steady rate and there is almost no chance I can get them to stop, but in attempt to adjust my voice enough to talk, I take a deep breath in and out. I turn myself to look at him again, taking in his distraught expression. I know he deserves the truth, as he just gave me, it's just hard to say.
"I-I….," I pause, the stuttering not helping the tears flowing down my face. Can I tell him how much I'm hurting? How much he hurt me? I know I have to, he deserves at least that, even with what he did, so reluctantly I say, "It hurt so bad."
Knowing there is nothing I can do to stop the sobs, I let them free, though I try to muffle them myself by clenching my teeth. All that is going through my head is about how bad my heart broke when I walked into that room only to see the only person on this planet I would do anything for, cheating on me with a random slut. I try to curl up into a ball to extinguish the horrible feeling in my stomach and I cry out. My head feels even worse, the sobs pounding in my brain, making it throb like it's about to burst.
Eventually I feel his arms wrap around my hunched over body, helping me into a sitting position from my lying down one. I try not to pay attention to him, because the more I think about his handsome face, the more I think about his lips and how I'm no longer the only one who has gotten to taste them and savor them. To feel his rough hand glide down my spine as his lips slowly part, dragging mine with his.
My cries don't even stop when he pulls me into him, laying my head on his strong chest, right above his heart beat. I soak his shirt through with my salty tears as he rubs my back up and down, soon moving to my arms. His hand feels its way back down my arm and when it travels up it doesn't stop till it touches my collarbone.
"Tris….," I try to stop my sobs but the best I can do is just soften them to just silent tears running fastly down my face, my breathing still hard and shallow. "Tris, please let me get you something to eat."
I don't know what to say or do, he's noticed. The pain coursing through my head and body is almost unbearable and I'm to weak to say no anymore so instead I whisper, "Okay."
We sit there in silence, because I'm not letting him get up. I sure that if he gets up it won't be long before I pass out. This was a bad idea. My stomach is on fire and feels like it's closing in on itself, and and head is throbbing in agony. I shouldn't have done this. The guilt is swirling deep inside of me and I know that I need to stop this. I need to get help. I'm killing myself.
"Tobias, I did something bad." I mutter, barely able to get the words past my lips, regret and agony clear in my now rough voice.
"What did you do?"
I think about how to tell him, and decide that the pain in me almost feels like I'm dieing, like I need to just get him to take me to the hospital. The fact that I even thought about killing myself again nags at me, knowing that Tobias said he'd do the same if I accomplished my previous goal. I can't believe I was willing to take that risk, I'm not anymore, I just don't know if it's too late.
"I t-think you need to take me to the hospital….," I hiccup past sobs and tears threatening to come again. "I haven't eaten for two w-weeks."
It doesn't take Tobias more than two seconds to process this, and almost instantly he is standing, picking me up bridal style. As he takes me through the living room and out the front door, the cold air outside hits me and I start to shake. He wastes no time placing me in his car and beginning to strap me in, but as he does so, I can't help but to moan in complete discomfort, due to the ache in my body everywhere.
The shakes waving throughout my body don't stop while Tobias is speeding down the road on his way to the hospital. I see him glance at me every now and then, and I can't help but try to sit up straighter.
This action only causes my head to reach full capacity of pain, and everything around me begins to spin. I'm having trouble deciphering where everything is, including Tobias and the road, my vision is spinning so fast.
"T-tobias?"
"Yes?" He asks, concern peaking his voice.
"I-I think I'm going to pass out, 'c-cause I feel really dizzy." I admit softly, slowly turning my head to look at him.
He takes a deep breath out nervously, "Tris, you need to stay awake, okay? I need you to keep your beautiful eyes open for just a few more minutes and then once we are at the hospital, you can sleep all you want, okay?"
"Okay." I say though I know I can't move and it's not long before the black dots that are starting to cloud my vision over take everything that's currently spinning.
About five minutes later, my sight is practically gone, and I can feel my brain becoming foggy, but I don't miss the feeling of Tobias's hand slipping into mine. He speaks loud, saying, "Tris, come on, one more mile."
I try not to let the black nothingness win, but I'm losing, and eventually the last thing I see is a wobbling Tobias.
In the next thirty minutes, my consciousness fades in and out but I'm never able to open my eyes due to what feels like heavy weights pulling my eyelids down. I hear a few of the questions Tobias gets asked but then I'm pulled back into the darkness.
After a while, I finally begin to wake up, my head becoming less foggy and less in pain, but I still can feel the crushing feeling in my stomach. I can hear soft murmuring from right outside the door, so I try to listen in as best as I can through the small numbness swirling throughout my head.
It's definitely Tobias's voice, but I can only hear the words he's saying, and it almost sounds like he's talking to himself, like I can't hear anything the other person is saying.
"She's fine, or should be." He says, pausing like there is someone else speaking, then speaks again, "She neglected eating for two weeks….," another pause, "I wasn't at the house...uhh, Tris and I had broken up before hand….no I was never told to stay with her….I would guess so….yes, they say she will be fine, they just need your consent before checking to see if her organs and livers were affected at all….okay, the nurse wanted to talk to you just to confirm."
Eventually I hear a small woman's voice come through the closed door, and just as I'm about to concentrate on what she's saying, the door opens and footsteps enter the room. When the feet are right next to me, I attempt to open my eyes but my muscles feel like lead.
I can feel a hand begin to play with my hair, brushing their fingers through it, and I have no doubt that this is Tobias. He sits there for a good amount of time before I hear the door open again and the women nurse speak again.
"Here is your phone. Her mother gave her consent, but it might be a few hours before she wakes up and I'm able to do the blood transplant. And I also am going to run an MRI for her brain to make sure that wasn't affected either, that may take a few hours as well. I'm going to help some of my other patients, but feel free to stay and contact anyone who wants to come." She offers, but I hear no response before I hear the door open and close again, the room now enveloped in silence.
After a few minutes of just feeling the soft strokes of Tobias's hand in my hair, I hear him say, "Tris, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, and I know that if anything happens to you, it's all on me. You probably can't hear anything I'm saying because I know you are just sleeping, but I feel like this needs to be said, conscious or not. I can't live without you. I made a mistake, a huge one, and I wish so bad that I could take it back, I wish I could take you back….but that is not my decision. Your mom, dad, and brother are taking the next flight out of there and coming here, and I already called Zeke so he and Uriah should be here any minute.
"And I just want you to know that I will always be here for you, whenever you need me. You are the only person I will ever want to be with and I don't care if you start dating someone else, all I want is to see you happy. I would rather die alone than be with someone else, Tris, and I know you don't think your life matters to anyone else, but you mean more to me than I mean to myself. I love you and will never stop loving you. You are my life. You have my heart for eternity."
I'm sorry I'm a day late, I felt so bad all day, so for the last two hours I wrote this. It ended a little cheesy but if a guy ever said that to me, I would die and go to heaven, that is so sweet. I hope you guys liked this, and are happy on how this turned out.
I swear I'm writing as much as I can. I love you all! Please review to get me motivated to write the next one! I read them all and adore the lovely things you all say. Please review!
~divergent24-7