Chapter 28:
TRIS POV:
I have no sense of time making it almost impossible to understand what is happening around me, all that I can do is hear. All I know is that about a few hours ago Zeke's voice came charging into the room, not to long after, Uriah's joined the mix. All of them sounded frenzied, and currently I lay here with no emotions, my eye lids refusing to lift and my mouth refusing to open.
"I don't know if I should call her parents again to make sure they got an earlier flight, I just don't know what to do… Zeke what would you do if this was Shauna?" Tobias asked from right beside me.
"I don't know man, if Shauna was in here I think I would be going crazy, I'm surprised you are even sane right now." Zeke announces from the other side of me, "Have you tried talking to her, like, I know she is unconscious but, have you said anything just to get off your chest?"
"Yeah I talked to her for a little before you guys showed up, I guess I didn't really get things off my chest though. I would have told her the same things if she were awake, I just felt like they needed to be said and….I don't know, I just talked to her about things…." Tobias trails off, probably not wanting to tell him about the details of his beautiful speech.
I can still hear the small cracking in his voice from hidden sadness, though it's easy for me to hear, I'm sure Zeke and Uriah can't hear it. As soon as Tobias is done talking silence fills the room, Tobias's thumb beginning to rub against my hand.
"We can leave the room so you can talk to her if you want….I think Zeke and I should get to calling Christina and Marlene and Shauna 'cause I'm sure that if I don't soon they will be really pissed I didn't." Uriah speaks from the end of this uncomfortable bed.
I don't hear Tobias's response but it's not long before footstep exit the room and the door is shut. The silence is indefinite and I'm not sure it will end, but Tobias does not stop rubbing my hand with his thumb and just that small action comforts me, even after everything he's done.
I don't know if I should blame him, my conscious tells me to never talk to him again, but my body and mind want all of him. I'm almost confident that Tobias would never intentionally hurt me, but after what happened I'm scared that my mind was just getting lost in the idea of the old him, not the new him.
"Tris….I-I don't know what to say to make any of this better. I feel like I've scarred you for life, though it's not like I haven't done that before. You mean everything to me and that night of the party, I honestly wish I remembered it so I could say that it was a horrible mistake but I can't say that, though that's what I think, I can't say it because I don't remember anything. And to make things worse you were still dealing with Christina and how rude she was that night. I will still talk to her about it if you'd like, I just want all of us to be as fine as we can be….including you. Tris, please wake up, I want to apologize to you I want to tell you how sorry I am. I want you to take me back. I want you to love me and hug me and kiss me like we used too. I miss you. I miss us." Tobias begs, his thumb never stopping the soothing circles.
As much as I wish I could move my mouth, it feels physically impossible at the moment, so instead I stay still, like I was before, my body still too weak to move. The one thing I do recognize is the feeling of a few stray tears seep through my closed eyelids.
"Tris?" He whispers, catching the salty tears with the thumb that was rubbing my hand. "Can you hear me?"
"She probably can." Say a voice that I notice as the female nurse, and I feel Tobias jump a little out of surprise from beside me. "I'm pretty sure her body is just weak from shortage of nutrients causing her muscles to be uncooperative with her brain. That, ultimately, resulting in lack of movement, even in the muscles of her eyelids."
"So she's awake just not able to talk, move anything, or open her eyes?" Tobias questions, his voice obviously a little disbelieving.
"Precisely."
Tobias sighs, "When do you think she will be well enough to respond to me?"
There is a small moment of silence and eventually a feel a small prick in the bend of my arm, "Probably in a few hours, and by then this blood sample will be well on its way to the lab. Also by then the MRI room may be available."
"Okay, thank you." Tobias says, softly brushing my hair out of my face, and soon enough the small prick in my arm has disappeared along with the nurse's voice.
It feels like lifetimes later when my eyelids and limbs become lighter, easier to twitch like I've been doing for the past eternity. The people that piled into my room a few long minutes after the nurse left the room consisted of, Zeke, Uriah, Will, Marlene, Shauna, and the loudest of them all, Christina.
At first she was silent, probably taking everything in, but as I currently am twitching the slightest bit, trying to get Tobias's attention, Christina and him are in a full blown fight.
"What do you mean it was an accident?! You don't just accidentally sleep with someone that's not your girlfriend, especially when that girlfriend has depression issues!" Christina screams at Tobias who no longer occupies the seat closest to my bed.
"I didn't sleep with that girl, from what I heard all I did was kiss her. It was a mistake and I know it. Or at least I understand it. I was so drunk that night, I don't even remember it." Tobias states in a deadly but hushed tone.
"Well I hope you know that this," there is a slight pause, "is because of you! You hurt her, and though she may forgive you thats probably only because that's who she is! She lets people step on her, and yeah I haven't known her that long but I can tell she is just a forgiving person, unlike me!"
"Guys…." I hear Zeke peep from beside my bed.
Tobias and Christina obviously don't hear him, or don't care to acknowledge him, "You don't think I hate myself for what I did to her? You honestly don't think that I haven't tried racking my brain for any memories from that night so that I can give a proper apology? Well, news flash Christina, I beat myself up mentally every day for what happened that night!"
"Well you should because you are just a piece of sh-"
"Guys!" Zeke yells, directing it to the loud argument going on at the foot of my bed.
"What?!" Both of them say harshly back to Zeke and I kind of feel bad for him because I'm pretty sure he's just trying to inform the group that I, in fact, am starting to move again.
Just to make them aware while they are most likely looking at Zeke, I try twitching my right foot, only knowing I'm successful when I hear Tobias suck in a deep of air. Only a few seconds later Tobias's hand is in mine and his other hand brushing my hair back.
"Tris, if you can hear me, can you move your hand that I'm touching?" Tobias pleads.
"Why the hell should she respond to you, you don't deserve her!" Christina yells, but I ignore her and slowly but surely begin to wrap my hand around his open hand.
"Can one of you go get the nurse, she's waking up I think." Tobias demands as I try as hard as I can to squeeze his rough and calloused hand.
I hear shuffling, but I don't pay attention to it and continue to try and pry my closed eyes open. My body feels weak, and as I try harder and harder, my head begins to pound more and more. I'm not sure if I should be trying this hard, but I think I will be okay since I've been given some of the nutrition I need.
Before I'm able to open my slow eyes, the door is slammed open and people start to come in. The nurse's voice is the first I hear out of all of them, "She has to do this on her own, you can't try to help her."
I'm happy she said that, though I'm sure they will all be staring intently at me till I actually open my eyes. Suddenly a feeling of discomfort races through my body, and my whole torso shifts to the right. The pounding in my head suddenly worsens, and panicked voices try to reach out to me but they all sound muffled.
Nothing feels normal and soon enough, my body begins to shake, every part of me vibrating in such a manner I move side to side. My vision is becoming brighter, my heart monitor is spiking, and my head feels like it is going to explode.
"Tris! Can you hear me? Calm down. You are fine. This is just another panic attack. I'm here. I love you." I hear the only voice I want to hear slip through my muffled ears, making the shaking slow.
My mouth brakes open from its previously closed state, but all that comes out are labored breaths. My lungs aren't filling enough, if at all, and I feel like I'm slowly drowning. The shakings stopped but I can't calm my breathing, it feels like every breath is getting stuck in my throat.
"Tris, take a deep breath and on three I want you to open your eyes for me." The nurse tells me from the other side of the bed that Tobias is on.
"One."
I take a deep breath in, filling my lungs.
"Two."
I exhale as slowly as I can, relaxing my body with her words.
"Three."
I inhale again, and exhale, my eyes slowly cracking open to the scene in front of me. Everyone stands in front of my bed except for Tobias and the nurse who sit on either side of me.
"That's very good." The nurse states, and my head turns to look at her. "Can you tell me what just happened?"
I know my mouth is working and I should be able to just speak with her, but I don't want to. I don't want to talk at all. I don't want to questions from everyone. I don't want the attention of people looking at me with pity. I hate this. I don't want to talk ever again, maybe eventually these people will just leave me alone then.
Shortish chapter but the next should be out sooner rather than later. I hope this one was okay, if not tell me what you think I need to fix and I will try as hard as I can to fix it. Just so you know, the more reviews I get the more you guys encourage me to write. I've had a pretty bad week and something really bad happened to somebody i'm very close with so I'm trying to help her through it... Anyway, I love you all, and when ever you review I literally feel like crying cause it makes me so happy. I love that people get to read what I want to write, and guess what?! I have no limit to the possibilities!
If you guys get my reviews up to a enormous number, I'll write a sequel to this story when I finish it, though that won't be for another like 10-15 chapters! Please review to encourage me! Love you all!
Happy Fathers day!
~divergent24-7