Chapter 33:
TOBIAS POV:
When I finish the song lyrics that I wrote for myself to sing, Tris's expression is one filled with love. She stares into my eyes, totally ignoring the journal in her hands, or that fact that I even looked through her journal.
"Tobias…," she trails off, her eyes watering, and I watch as she swallows the lump in her throat.
I don't say anything, but instead pull her in for a tight hug, breathing in the smell of her hair. She doesn't make a sound, but I can feel the tears that fall off her face and onto me. I lean back and take her face in my hands, my ring and pinky fingers wrap around her ears, while my thumbs wipe the tears away, and my first and second fingers lye on her cheeks. She is breathing heavily, and I know what I do next won't help that fact, but looking into her beautiful eyes almosts forces me.
I gently pull her face closer to mine and desperately connect our lips. Her tears still pour out of her eyes and fall down to our meeting lips, making her taste like salt, though I don't mind much. As our lips move in synchronization, my hands slip from her face to her shoulders, then down across her sides and to her hips. She is sat on her knees, and as our kiss intensifies, she moves closer, wrapping one of her legs around my laid out ones so that she is straddling me.
Just as I'm about to open my mouth and tease her lips with my tongue, I hear a loud knock on the hospital room window, causing us both to jump and split apart. I turn my head to see Zeke, Uriah, and Christina standing outside the glass, smiling widely.
I look back to Tris, and see her still staring at them, so with both hands, I grab her waist tightly and pick her up as I stand. I quickly switch positions so that she is lying in my arms with the back of her knees on one of my arms, and her upper back on the other. She reaches up so that her arms are wrapped around my neck, and I walk her over to the hospital bed, gently setting her down.
After putting her down on the bed, I take the pillow away and get the pillow from the duffle bag I brought and lay it on the bed instead. Tris whispers a quiet, "Thank you," then pulls the blanket I got her, over herself. I lean down and kiss her forehead, while pressing the button for the nurse to come and put the IV back in her arm. Then I walk over to the door and open it, letting everyone enter.
When I turn back around, I notice how nervous Tris looks as all her friends stare at her as they come in. I try not to make it obvious to Tris as I turn and look back at them with a glare in my eyes, silently telling them to stop. They stop, and instead take a seat all around the room on the floor as there are only two seats, one I occupy and the other Christina does.
The nurse comes in only a little bit later, stopping suddenly when she sees all the people sitting on the ground.
"What did you call me in here for?" She asks while looking around at everyone's faces till she finally lands on mine, obviously not expecting Tris to be talking again.
"She tore her IV out and I wanted you to put it back in." I tell her, looking to Tris and gently nodding with my head, telling her to speak so the nurse knows.
The nurse huffs, in an obviously annoyed way, "Why did she tear it out?"
"I wanted to look out the window." Tris speaks softly, and almost as soon as she does, the nurse's eyes shoot wide open.
"You're talking now?"
Tris just simply shakes her head up and down, folding the covers over so that her arms show. When the nurse takes her arm, I watch as she reaches down, grabbing the IV and bringing it back up, then gently feels around in Tris's arm for a vain. Finally she finds one, and as she sticks Tris with the needle, I see her stare at Tris's four scars that line her arm. I try to let it not bother me, but when I look back to Tris's face, I see her glance at her scars and then back at the nurse with a nervous expression.
I sigh loudly, gaining the attention of the nurse and Tris, making this situation more awkward. Thank the lord that Uriah, being loud mouth Uriah, says something, "So, she doesn't have to go to the psychiatric ward, right?"
"No, I guess not." The nurse says, finally finishing her job and looking away from Tris and I.
Gently I reach over and grab Tris's hand, grinning at her at the thought of how she no longer is destined to end up in a mental hospital. She shyly smiles back, pulling the blanket back over her body, covering up. I'm so thankful she doesn't have to go through that, too.
It's around five am when I wake up, still in my slouched over position, my head resting on the hospital bed and my hand holding in hers. Tris is sound asleep, as well as Christina, the only one still here from last night. Eventually Zeke and Uriah's mom came and got everyone to go home, except for Christina and I. She said they could come back today, though I'm not sure if having Tris's parents here will really make them want to come.
After about five minutes of just sitting and watching Tris sleep, I decide to get up and go get coffee for Christina and I at the coffee stand in the lobby. I silently stand, stretching out all my sore muscles from sleeping in a chair, then leave the room as quietly as possible.
Walking down the hallway gives me a weird sensation. Almost like I'm not in my own body, like I'm dreaming and everything is fuzzy. Nurses walk past me, their noses buried in a chart or obviously have their mind somewhere else. I try not to think about the facts, the facts of how I got here, or why these same white walls are surrounding me for the second time. I hate this feeling. I feel helpless to the ones I love.
It doesn't take long to reach the coffee cart, and no time at all to have two cups of iced vanilla lattes in my hands. From a distance I can hear some commotion and someone shouting, "Code Blue!" and the only thing that keeps me grounded is that it is coming from the opposite direction that Tris happens to be in. Even though I'm sure it's not Tris, the thought that someone, someone that had a life and family, is dying on a hospital table in this exact moment.
The soft sobs coming from straight ahead snap me back into focus on what I'm doing, and where I'm going. To my surprise, I see Mrs. Prior standing against the wall outside the door to Tris's room, crying gently into her hands. Instantly my mind begins to conjure up something horrible that could be happening to Tris.
Like, what if she is that person that was coding? That doesn't make any sense though, it was the total opposite direction.
My footsteps become heavier and longer, making a loud thumping sound every time one of my feet make contact with the tile. This noise gains the attention of Mrs. Prior, her head snapping up and looking straight at me, eyes wide like she's been caught.
"What happened?" I almost yell as I nearly run into her.
She quickly wipes some of her tears away, sniffling a little, "Oh nothing, Tobias, I was just taking a breather before going in there. Andrew and Caleb already went in there, seem as though Beatrice woke up just a little bit ago."
I breath a sigh of relief, the nervousness getting lifted off my shoulders. I hold out one of my hands, offering the coffee that was meant for me, to her. She gives me a small smile, nodding her head in thank you while gently taking it from my hand and sipping it.
"I suppose I should join them." Mrs. Prior whispers, looking at the wall across from us deep in thought.
"Are you okay, Mrs. Prior?" I question, not sure if she was crying because she's scared or for another reason.
"Oh, Tobias, please, it's Natalie to you," she says, offering another sad smile, "and I-I just don't know how to help any more. Beatrice is a strong girl, and so, so brave, but when you have kids you will understand. The second you find out you're pregnant, your one fear is of your baby getting hurt, and if that ever happened, you would do anything to protect him or her. I just… I don't know how to protect my baby from herself. It's basically impossible...and I don't know what to do. I feel like this is my fault, like I taught her wrong…
"My daughter loves you, Tobias. You are a very nice and well behaved boy, and has been there for her since you were little. Please, I beg you, please help her. Please just love her back, do as much as you can. I know I sound selfish, I'm so sorry, I just want my baby back to her normal self." She begs me, sounding unlike herself.
Natalie starts to cry a little again, and her being so out of character makes me feel as though she deserves the truth, and nothing but the truth, so that's what I tell her, "I am in love with your daughter, Natalie. Tris is the most selfless, smart, honest, caring, and brave person I have ever met. I would love your daughter if she weighed 700 pounds, and had no hair, I would love your daughter if she had an extra arm, and I will love your daughter through all of this. I wouldn't care if she was hideous, because she would still be gorgeous to me. Just the fact that she is the most beautiful thing on this planet, is an extra bonus. I will do my best to help her, and to save her, but I will not fix her, because she's already beyond perfect."
She doesn't say anything, and we stand there for a little while, soaking in the words that just came out of my mouth. I know that everything was absolutely true, and what I need to do right now is to get back to Tris. So, I give a soft smile to Natalie and, make my way to the door.
As soon as it's opened, and I'm walking inside, all eyes turn to me. Caleb and Andrew stand on the end of Tris's bed, leaving Christina in one of the side chairs, and the other one is open. I hand the only other coffee I had to Christina, then take my place next to an awake Tris, grabbing her hand beginning to gently rub my thumb over her fingers. She quickly glances at me, meeting my eyes and giving me a thankful smile. I smile back, then turn and look at her brother and father, as she also has.
"Hey, Four. Thank you for the coffee." Christina greets. "Um, even though I would love to stick around, I should be getting home. Love ya, Tris. I'll come back soon, promise."
And with that, Christina's gone, and not too soon after the door shuts, Natalie comes walking in, no clear signs of her crying. Just like that, it's just the Prior family and I.
"So, Tobias, I would like to have a word with you." Caleb breaks the silence, glancing once at Tris, then looking away, trying to ignore the glare she's directing at him.
"I don't find that necessary, Caleb." Tris speaks up from beside me.
"I-"
Caleb starts but I interrupt him, "No, it's okay, Tris. I'll be fine, your brother has a right to talk to me."
She only nods her head, Caleb walking out the door with me not to far behind him after I kiss Tris's forehead. When I get out into the hall, Caleb leads me a little further, away from the door.
"What happened?" Caleb jumps right in, questioning me on something I would much rather not talk about.
"What part are you talking about?"
"Did she do this to herself again because of you?"
"I-"
He interrupts me before I can even get a word out, "I know you cheated on her, you bastard. She is extremely sensitive and I know that this is because of you. She could have left us because of you."
I don't know what to say, but as he continues to stare at me, the fire behind his eyes grows larger.
"Tris almost died because of you. What the hell is wrong with you. She probably thought that she wasn't good enough. She probably thought that the 'blonde slut'-as she stated-was much better than her...much skinnier than her. That's why she did this. Do you even feel ashamed of yourself?" He asks.
"Of course I do, I feel completely ashamed of myself. Tris is so beautiful and no girl is prettier than her. Caleb, you would know if I was lying. I honestly don't remember that night, I had some stuff to drink and everything is a little fuz-"
"You freaking son of a bitch! You were drunk? Are you seriously trying to blame all of this on alcohol! You stupid piece of shit!" Caleb screams, and the next thing I know, I see his fist coming straight for my jaw, contacting it with a loud thunk.
Hey guys! Hows it going? I honestly have had one of the worst weeks of my life. But, other than that, Thank you for being so understanding about my concussion, I really appreciate all the reviews you gave, they were really nice. I apologize if this chapter is not one of my best pieces, I've just had a hard week... Please review, and maybe review a joke or something to make me laugh because I honestly feel like crap. Thank you guys so much, I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
And tell me if you like the fluff and the moment that Tobias admits some deep stuff to her mom. I don't know about you, but that paragraph that Tobias said to her mom would just about make me cry if this was real life and he was saying that about me. Anyways tell me what you like and dislike. Love you all! Please review!
~divergent24-7