Chapter 92: Sleepless Weekend
…
Link had not slept at all. In addition to not being able to find his pillow, his thoughts had dwelt on Princess Zelda so much that every time he opened his eyes, he silently cursed that he was not back in the cell with her. Eventually, a bit of light from the sunrise took the darkness of his cabin away. So he got dressed and stepped out onto the deck so he would not disturb Irleen.
The sun was higher in the sky to port than Link had expected. The blue sky around them was still broken by floating rocks. The booms of the ship's six masts shifted back and forth ever so slightly in response to the helm. They no longer drove the ship, not as long as Link's solution provided them the thrust they needed in such unfavorable winds. Approaching the bow, he ran his hand along the bulwark. At about the middle of the main deck, Link stopped and looked past the bulwark at the results of last night's bout of insomnia.
A chainplate had been put into the bulwark on the outside. A line running parallel to the ship's hull connected to a second chainplate further aft. In between, one of the technoworks cubes had been wrapped in rope around the front-facing side and the middle. The aft-facing side had been left exposed so that, while the technoworks was in operation, it could continue to gather the resources it needed from the surface. All four cubes had been strapped to the outside of the ship in a similar manner, although not in the same way twice due to the rock growth on each one. He was surprised that no one had informed him that one of the cubes had gotten loose. Not that they had no means of replacing the cubes, Link realized as he looked up at the rocks floating around them. He considered the possibility of stopping to gather more cubes, but he dismissed it just as quickly as he had thought of it. It was enough that he had awoken part of his crew during his shouting match with Irleen; he did not want them to start thinking he was losing more of his mind.
Link started forward again. Then he stopped after a single step when he saw Dholit standing near the port hatch. She wore the outfit she had made from Leynne's stolen wardrobe, which somehow accented the attitude she expressed. What attitude she had intended to show him was not entirely clear. Her face was hard to read, and she had her arms crossed in a manner which Link usually associated with someone about to let him know that he had made a mistake. For a moment, they just stared at each other.
Then Dholit uncrossed her arms so that she could give Link an inviting wave. Link narrowed his eyes, not entirely certain if he should interpret the wave as such (especially considering Dholit's usual demeanor). The distance between them was too great for them to speak with each other, so he could not ask without approaching her. He had just considered walking over and asking her what she wanted, but she stepped into the hatch and disappeared from sight. This left Link wondering if she was being serious or if it was just another of her antics. He decided to follow her.
He found Dholit as he reached the cargo hold. She stood with her back to him, paused at the top of the stairs going to the next deck. She gave him a glance over her shoulder before she descended. Link continued to be puzzled by her attitude, so he followed. As he made to set foot in the galley, he realized that she had stopped.
He froze just in front of the stairs when he saw that she was not alone. Leaning one thigh against a small crate of rations was Leynne, arms crossed and a frown on his face. Link could hear him take in a breath as if preparing himself to face something difficult. This made Link conscious of his own heartbeat. He glanced over to his left to see Dholit leaning her back against the bulkhead dividing the galley from the quarters beyond.
His glance passed between them a few times before asking Leynne, "Is something wrong?"
"You might say that," Leynne replied in an even tone. He looked a little angry, and Link began to fear coming below.
"We have some concehns about My Captain," Dholit said.
"About-about me?" Link replied. "Why?"
"Well, you did wake up half the ship last night," Leynne said.
Link dropped his eyes to the deck. He had realized how stupid it was of him to have gone berserk the previous night. Everyone had gone to bed without another word about it. Even Leynne, who had helped him strap the cubes to the outside of the ship. "Oh," Link uttered. "That, huh?"
"I do not claim to have the cohrect grasp of how captains ah suppose to behave on a Skyrideh vessel," Leynne said. "It's considerably less than my undehstanding of a second-in-command. I do, howeveh, recognize when a pehson is behaving ehratically. Theh is a line wheh uhgency ends and insanity begins. As the 'friend to the crew', I believe it falls within my puhview to inquih wheh ouh captain stands in relation to that line. Sih."
Link sighed. "I suppose I owe you an explanation for last night, don't I?"
"As ouh commandah," Dholit spoke up, "I don't happen to believe that you owe us anything of the soht. It is ouh lot to cahry out My Captain's ohdahs without question, even should they lead us to death; that's how it wohks in Gilto society. Howevah, as one commandah who has expressed a great deal of concehn foh those undah his command, I have come to expect My Captain to speak when something troubles him."
"You were there last night, too?" Link asked, facing her.
"Hidden beyond the wall," she answered with a nod.
Link nodded. "I've…" he started. He knew that his explanation for his behavior last night was bound to make both of them think that he had gone crazy. But Dholit was right. Link cared about his crew a lot, probably more than any captain should. So he took in a breath. "I've been having… having these dreams lately. I-I started having them… I don't know, maybe about a week after the Island Sonata crashed into the ground? They… well, I guess they've actually been quite horrible. I mean…" He sighed. "I've been having dreams about… about Princess Zelda."
Dholit and Leynne glanced at each other. "The princess you left behind in the Undying Stohm, cohrect?" Leynne asked.
"Yeah."
"How often have you been having these dreams?" Dholit asked, her face melting into a concerned look.
"I-I don't know," Link replied with a shake of his head. "At first… maybe once or twice in a week. Like-like I said, I… I'm not sure when they began."
"And you had anotheh one last night," Leynne reasoned.
"Yeah," Link said. "I guess I just… I ju—I just let it get to me." He stepped over to a nearby ration crate and rested his rear against it. "Up until maybe… maybe that trip out to the Fire Realm. I-I didn't even realize I was having these dreams. When I had one there, I asked Irleen if it was possible that I'd made contact with Princess Zelda's dreams somehow."
"What would Ihleen know about it?" Leynne asked.
"Before the Horizon's Eye left Forelight Island, Irleen made a gem for the ship's captain. It was supposed to have my impressions of my crew on it; they were going with the princess to help replace some of the ill crewmen on that ship. Well, I had a daydream about the ship being attacked. It was from that captain's perspective, and I realized that his ship was going to be assaulted on its way out of the storm. Irleen explained that we must have exchanged dreams because of her gem. So I though… well, maybe the princess had the gem, and I was starting to see her dreams. But Irleen just… just keeps denying it.
"Ever since we came to the sky, it's felt like the dreams have gotten… stronger. It's… It's like I'm suddenly very conscious of my dreams. You know? Have you ever felt like you could take control of your dreams while you're dreaming?"
Leynne shrugged. "I suppose. It's not entihly easy to tell."
"This dream I had last night… I-I just felt so helpless. We were standing behind bars next to each other. She told me she was lonely. She wanted… wanted a friend… And, when I woke up… I just felt so sorry for her that… I wanted to do something. I thought that we could use the technoworks. And… well, you heard me arguing with Irleen."
"Evidently," Leynne said. He uncrossed his arms and shoved them into his trouser pockets. "Look, Link. I've only known you foh maybe oveh a month now. I've seen the way you cahry youhself; you've got quite a guilty conscience. But I would like to point out that waking in the middle of the night and stahting an ahgument probably is not the path to travel down right now. I cannot say foh cehtain if you really do see the princess in youh dreams oh not. I would just hope that you don't take too drastic an action based on something you probably could not have helped in the fihst place. You've seen some of the most hohrific things in the past two months; the fact that you seem to dwell on this is not a pahticulahly promising aspect."
"You think I should just forget about her?" Link asked, his tone becoming heated.
"I wouldn't do any such thing," Leynne replied, mirroring Link's tone. He calmed himself for a moment before saying, "I just ask that you… just keep looking fohwahd. Regahdless of what youh dreams show you, they only have as much bearing on youh actions as you allow them. I guess I'm telling… no. No, just asking. I'm asking you to not let them control you. As a friend."
"As a friend…" Link repeated as he glanced down at the deck again. "I'm sorry for the trouble I caused last night."
"At least we'h moving without having to rely on the engine," Leynne said. "It may not be as fast, but at least we can save fuel."
"Just promise youh next epiphany occuhs during the day," Dholit said, grinning at him.
"If it doesn't, I'll save it for the next morning," Link replied with a grin. "Promise."
Leynne yawned and stretched his arms in the air. "Well, I suppose I shall go relieve Gold."
"Are you okay to man the helm?" Link asked.
"I've had my shahs of sleepless nights," Leynne told him. "This is nothing."
"Okay." Link watched Leynne cross the deck and go up the stairs next to him. Then he looked to Dholit after Leynne was out of sight. "What about you?"
"A little suhprised, I suppose," she replied, pushing herself away from the bulkhead. "Afteh all this time of denying advances, it tahns out that you actually have a gihl you really caah foh."
Link gave her an annoyed look. "Dholit…" he groaned.
"Am I mistaken, My Captain? She is a princess, afteh all."
"No, it's…" He sighed and rubbed his eyes with a hand. "I care because she's in danger. Even if all I know comes from a dream… I can't really imagine reality being that much better."
"Naturally. Still, foh you to dwell on heh much moah than the fine women on youh own crew, you must think quite highly of heh."
Link raised a hand as he spoke. "Without… without relying on what I've dreamed, she's probably the only Hylian on that ship now. I know Line came back on the Horizon's Eye, probably with Flower and Leonard. And, from what we've seen of Cunimincus' crew…"
"'Wish the thoughts of monstahs to flee, foh it is the monstahs within ouh sight which threaten us the most'." Link gave her a confused look. She told him, "Paht of an old Gilto epic, though not exactly as elegant in the Hylian language. That is not to say that youh visions of youh princess ah meahly illusions, of couhse. But you should see that concehning youhself with things at a distance leaves you vulnerable to the perils befoah you, Link."
"And you think I should only worry about the princess if she's right in front of me, right?" Link reasoned.
She smiled compassion at him which made her words sound all the more sincere. "My Captain, I feel that, when youh princess stands befoah you, both of youh plights will be less than thoughts."
…
~~Day 76 (Command, Day 39)
~~I spent the morning receiving lectures on what scares the crew the most, even what scares me. I guess I'll be holding onto any more ideas for when it won't separate my crew from their souls. But both Leynne and Dholit have had some very good points. As eager, I guess, as I am to return to the Undying Storm with some way to rescue Princess Zelda, I need to remember that just willing it to happen isn't enough. I have my crew to think about, especially since we're still being hunted by the Skyriders.
~~The wind gave us a little bit of help this afternoon, allowing us to sail south much better. According to Leynne, between the Island Symphony sailing close-hauled and the technoworks driving us, we've been moving faster than we were a couple days before. When the wind died down, we decided to try running the engine with the technoworks.
~~Needless to say, we won't be doing that again. As it turns out, when Sello's engine doesn't have to do so much pushing, the resulting speed makes even the Gelto cringe. I guess it's one thing when the ship's being driven by a Sky Line, but a completely different nightmare when we're being driven by a drunk.
~~Somehow, it's made me anticipate telling Captain Alfonzo all about my command so far. Just to see if he's capable of laughing.
…
~~Day 77 (Command, Day 40)
~~Today was probably the quietest day we've had for a while on this ship. Other than Layna still recovering, things seemed to just flow without any trouble. I talked to Lilly when she came on-deck, and we decided that, while Layna is still recovering, she could fill in for a while. Although, I have to admit, I really don't think she understands how rough being an airman can get. Then again, now that I consider it, I'm beginning to wonder if there are some duties that I've forgotten to assign.
~~We got lucky again with the wind giving us an opportunity to reach to the south. We've managed a good bit of speed for the day before the wind shifted on us again. But, for once, it felt like nothing had gone very wrong. Gold even suggested turning the engine on again just to scare the hell out of the crew. Apparently, he thought it would help the status quo of things going wrong for us. I know he was joking, but I have to admit that I was actually considering it.
…
"You were concerned for me?"
Link immediately shook his head to help clarify his mind. When he looked up again, he realized that he was standing on the bow of the Island Sonata overlooking a blue sky through the forestays.
In the forestays, however, stood Zelda. She stared at him for a moment. Then she said, "They are right, I fear."
Link tilted his head. "Who?"
"Your crew. The well-dressed man and the dark-skinned woman. And… and Irleen."
"What do you mean?"
"These dreams." She glanced down at the deck and stood in silence for a moment. "For you as well as me." She sighed and stepped across the beakhead until she was standing just in front of the weather deck. "Link, since your airmen confronted you about the argument you had, I have been considering both of our positions. You have to manage your ship and your crew. And I… I cannot continue to exist within these dreams."
"Wait—wait a minute," Link said. "P—… Zelda, what are you talking about?"
"I have to stop creating these dreams, Link. They can only harm us."
Link stammered for a moment before he could ask, "W-why? How?"
She stepped onto the deck so that she stood eye-to-eye with Link. "Link, neither one of us can tolerate this. I mean no harm, but I know that my attempts to escape this place using my dreams are causing you grief. I cannot on good conscience continue to pressure you simply because I want release from my prison. Whichever of your dreams I take, I know that you see one of my dreams. For every success I have when I contact you this way, you lose sleep. For every action you take on my behalf, I cause your crew doubt."
"Doubt?" Link asked, his tone surprised and slightly frantic. "What doubt?"
"Doubt in you. It was pure chance that I had seen both your argument with Irleen and your airmen confront you. How many other times has that happened?"
"No other times!" Link told her. "That night…" He spun and stepped away from her as he tried to think. When he had an explanation, he turned back to her and said, "What you saw, that-that was the only time that happened. I-I just… When I woke up from that last dream… I-I got—I guess I got a little mad. Ah—You asked me to be your friend, and then—and then, suddenly, I was back in my bed." He clenched his fists. "I-I wanted to do something. I wanted to get you out of there. But…" He paused for a moment. "But that was the only time I acted so stupid, and my crew called me on it. Leynne was right; I can't let my dreams just control me like that. But you can't just end them."
"Link, if I do not end them, it will only make the both of us suffer. You will continue to have these dreams of me, and I will continue to seek escape in a world which I may never see again. The last time we spoke…" She lowered her gaze to the deck. "The last time we spoke, I had lost my senses. I could no longer keep my composure that evening and… I wanted someone to comfort me. I told you that I tried to fool myself into believing that you had been in here with me. What could be left of my senses if self-deception can be so easily achieved?"
Link felt a chill rattle his whole body. Unconsciously, he took a step away from her. "Z…Zelda…"
"For every moment of sleep, I lie awake in all but the blackest darkness for what feels like days. Talking with Captain Koroul's crew yields silence. Cunimincus' crew has left us to our own devices. We could die, and they would not respond. I have lost track of time. I thought that escaping into your dreams would relieve me of my plight, but I realize that I have only created problems for the both of us. In the darkness, I wish to see you. I wish to see you so much that… it hurts." She looked back up at him, and Link saw her eyes watering up. "I feel physical pain, Link. Every beat of my heart makes me think that my heart shall burst. It has become so bad that I do not have the energy to stand when I wake. And I fear that, if I continue these dreams, it will only hurt more."
"But… if-if you just stop… what's going to happen to you?"
She shook her head. "I cannot be certain, Link. I may go mad, or I may survive."
"That's not good enough!" Link told her. The passion in his voice stunned Zelda, and she took a step back in surprise. "I mean why! Why should it be like this!?"
"Link, please," she said with a concerned look. "I've had a lot of time to consider this. If I am to go mad, it would be better for both of us if I were to do it while not keeping in contact with you."
Link shook his head with a sharp motion. "No."
She glanced down at the deck. "You would foster harm upon me just so you can talk to me?"
"Pr—… Zelda, I can't just let you go like that. Your word is the only solid proof I have of the fake princess in the castle. And you've actually helped me. When I met her, if you hadn't said anything, I might've just stood there and been taken captive. Without you, we might not even be this close to making things normal again."
For a moment, she had been stunned by the revelation that her words had reached him at that point in time. She dropped her gaze to the deck again, and, this time, she did not look up as she told him, "That's unfair, Link. It's unfair of you to say those things. I… I would have been contented if you would just forget about me."
"You once said that you wanted to be part of my crew," Link told her. "I will not forget my crew."
"But… I'm so far away, Link…"
"So is Line. And Leonard and Flower. But they're still my crew. I even count Albert as part of my crew, and he's dead. And you wanted me to be your friend."
"It was a moment of weakness…"
"It doesn't matter."
She angled her head to hide the look of pain from her face. "I hate you."
"Tough."
Zelda immediately looked up at him in shock, not expecting the terse response. Link had actually been a little surprised by the response himself, not meaning to sound so harsh to her. The reply had just barely formed when he blurted it out, and her words caused him to speak it before he could stop himself from being a jerk to the Princess of Hyrule. But he maintained a determined scowl. It was the only thing keeping him from reveling that he, like her, was beginning to lose his composure. However, he was frustrated instead of sad. He did not like that she was trying to give up. It was bring her too close to a point which Link was worried he could not bring her back from. Friend, crewman, or neither, Link did not want to lose contact with her. He did not want to believe that he would lose her, too. Her dreams meant she was still alive. Alive meant that he could still do something to help her.
"Tough…" she said. Then she asked with indignation causing her voice to rise, "What do you mean 'Tough'? What kind of response is that!?"
Link could feel emotion welling up again, and he attempted to hide it as he told her the next thing that came to mind. "You mad, Airman?"
"Wha…?" This was followed by several minutes of Zelda blinking at him, stunned by his sudden turn of attitude toward her.
Then Link cracked, and he started laughing. He was not sure why. Somehow, her becoming angry with him had flipped his attitude around, and he could not tolerate holding it back anymore.
"Link, have you lost your mind!?" she cried at him, anger prevalent in her voice. "I am trying to explain that I cannot afford to make these dreams anymore, and you are treating it as a joke!?"
Link tilted his head back to look up at the sky. He managed to rein in his laughter, but tears welled up as he used every bit of strength he could to maintain the effort. "I'm-I'm sorry," he told her. "But you… haaaah… You should've seen your face when I told you 'tough'."
"Link, I meant to have a serious conversation with you," she said, her own emotions toned down but still apparent. "Why are you being mean about it?"
Link managed to calm down and looked her in the eye. "I don't know," he answered with a soft smile. "Maybe I'm already nuts; my crew seems to think so at times." Then he put on serious look and told her, "But I don't want you to go away."
"Link, I may be a princess," she said, "but there are others who need your help."
"It doesn't have anything to do with you being a princess," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "Okay, so what if you stop seeing me in these dreams? I'm never gonna stop thinking about you. And you've seen what just thinking about you does to me."
"So you mean to say that, talking or not, we will both go mad anyway?" she asked, looking down.
"Knowing what I already know is happening to you? Yeah, I probably will."
She looked up again, but she hesitated before saying anything. "Half of me had hoped that you would talk me out of such a drastic action," she confessed. "I… suppose I underestimated the effect we have had on each other."
Link scratched the back of his head. "I think that's just the way I've been lately," he said. "All this death I keep seeing… I mean, I nearly killed myself because I thought I was gonna lose one of my crew last week. At this point, I think anything might drive me insane." He put his hand down. "I don't want to lose anyone else."
"I… I'm sorry, Link. I had not realized how horrible things have been for you."
"They have been tough. And I'm doing my best to make sure they don't get any worse. So, if something happens to you, I want to know. Because as soon as that fake princess is out, I'm going to bring every ship I can after you."
Zelda shook her head. "I've seen you in my dreams, and I've seen your dreams. I have to admit that I really don't understand how you think."
Link gave her a cheesy grin. "Well, I really don't think I do that much thinking. I just… go with it. Full and by, like we used to say on the Grand Sails."
"Full and by?"
"Yeah. It's… sort of like doing your job, but just… taking it easy. Not putting more effort into it than necessary."
She gave him a smile and shook her head. "No, Link. I do not think you are so relaxed."
"Ah, well…" He started scratching the back of his head again. "Maybe-maybe not lately, but…"
"Link, I am glad that I spoke to you about ending these dreams. I admit that I was afraid to let go, and I was afraid of what would happen once I did. We may survive this ordeal, or we may go insane together. But I am glad. And, whatever happens, I will be glad that you have been here to help me."
Link opened his arms to indicate the ship around them. "I'm always glad to be on the Island Sonata. But I'll feel better when you're on the Island Symphony."
She nodded. "It looks like such a beautiful ship." She looked around for a moment. "Link, I have to go now. I must get some sleep away from these dreams, but I will return when I can."
"Okay," he said. "I'll be waiting. Hopefully, we'll have found the king and queen the next time we talk."
"Good luck."
"To both of us."
This time, Link managed to hold back the urge to blink just long enough to get that last statement out. When he woke up, he found himself staring across his cabin on the Island Symphony. He closed his eyes and tried to remember as much of their conversation as he could. He felt drained of his will and very resistant to the idea of getting out of bed. But the dawn's light reached him through his frosted glass windows. It was as if he was awake all night talking to her. Part of him worried that, having argued with him about giving the dreams up, she might not be in his dreams again.
He shoved the idea to one side and got out of bed. This dream was going to haunt him until she spoke to him again, but it would not affect his command today.