N: here's another chapter. Things happen and whatnot. Read on and enjoy! We should be wrapping this up soon!

I groaned as I rolled over and tried to cuddle up to Lauren. I was exhausted. We had been up most of the night studying for this exam that Keating had thrown our way and I was afraid that I was going to fail it. Even though the woman had managed to take her sights off of me she still scared the shit out of me. Lauren had to drag get me to bed in order to get me to stop studying but that didn't mean that we had gone to sleep right away. My hand landed on the empty spot that was next to me and my eyes flew open as a mild panic came over me.

I was working on how I reacted to waking up alone whenever Lauren I slept together but it was proving to be one of those things that was going to be hard for me to recover from. I sat up and looked around the room then when I looked back at spot that Lauren had occupied I saw that there was a note resting on her pillow. I drew in several deep breaths to calm myself then I picked up the note. Lauren knew I still had my moments about waking up alone so she did what she could to make sure that I didn't have a complete episode. So she made sure to be there when I woke up or she would leave me a note letting me know where she was.

"Bo, went to the store. You and Laurel don't have milk. We're going grocery shopping later. Don't eat the bacon."

"Ooh bacon." I commented as I grinned at the note. I placed it back on Lauren's pillow then stretched before I got out of bed. We probably should have gone to sleep as soon as we were in bed but I had slipped my hand up Lauren's shirt because I liked the skin contact as I slept and that led to something more. I walked into the bathroom and began the shower. Lauren and I were as timid about our physical relationship as we were with our actual relationship. I frowned as I realized that we had no clear definition in regards to our relationship. I bit my bottom lip as I continued to think about that. We were going to have to clear that up. My frowned worsened when I realized that the entirety of our reunion had focused on schoolwork, my recovery, and us circling around each other. I got in the shower and decided that I was going to change that.

I got into the shower and washed up. After I was showered and dressed I went downstairs then headed for the kitchen. I walked over to the stove and saw the covered plate that was on it. I looked around the kitchen then out the doorway to make sure no one was in the living room or dining room. Then I walked over to the stove then snagged a piece of bacon off the plate. I closed my eyes and let out a small moan as I chewed up the bite. It was nice to have an appetite again. I finished that strip then snagged another piece. I was mid-chew when I heard the front door open. I shoved the piece of bacon into my mouth and turned around to face the kitchen doorway just in time.

Lauren walked into the kitchen and she looked at me. I tried to chew up the remaining bacon in my mouth without her noticing. "You touched the bacon didn't you?" I shook my head no. "Bo I can see you chewing."

"I'm not chewing." I mumbled around my mouth full of bacon.

Lauren placed the grocery bag on the counter and she walked over to me with a smirk on her face. She stopped in front of me then leaned in and whispered, "I can smell the bacon on your lips." I shook my head no but by this point I was done pretending like I hadn't eaten bacon. I just wanted her to kiss me. Lauren let out a small hum then asked, "Will I taste bacon on your lips if I kiss you." I shrugged and she smiled. "I guess we will find out."

She pressed her lips against mine and I wanted to kiss her back but I had a mouth full of bacon. I swore at myself for not having finished it. Lauren pulled back and grinned at me as she said, "I taste bacon. I told you not to eat it."

I finished the bacon that was in my mouth then exclaimed, "How do you expect me to not eat bacon?"

Lauren rolled her eyes then she moved away from me so that she could put away the few items that she had bought. "Tamsin will be coming over to join us for breakfast so we have to have enough for the both of you."

I sighed then walked over to the counter lean back against it. Tamsin ate food like nobody's business so I thought it was a good idea for me to snag a couple pieces before she came over. Lauren got a small carton of eggs out of the bag then walked over to the stove with them as she asked, "How'd you wake up?" I walked over to the fridge then opened it so I could get out the grape juice. "Bo…"

I blew out an exasperated breath as I poured myself some juice then I told her, "It was like usual when you weren't there. I had momentary freak out but then I saw your note I was fine." I looked up to see Lauren looking at me. I walked over to her and I gave her kiss then said, "I'm fine. That seems to be one of those things that will take some time."

"You didn't-"

I shook my head no and said, "Nothing happen. I got scared for a moment but your note did its job. I'm okay."

Lauren blew out a breath then smiled. "Okay." She moved to one of the cabinets and pulled out a frying pan as she told me, "Laurel ran out of her while I was cooking bacon. She said for me to remind you about tonight's study group."

I scoffed and remarked, "She wants us to be a buffer between her and Michaela." I laughed. "I have half the mind not to go to see if she'll actually do something."

"You can't do that to her." Lauren stated after she chuckled. "She would kill you."

I grinned and asked, "What if I have something better though?"

"What could possibly be better than saving your best friend from possible embarrassment?" She asked as she moved to a cabinet to get a mixing bowl. I smirked. Lauren was making omelets. She made the best ones besides IHOP of course but she did come in a close second.

I moved to stand next to her then I took the egg that she was holding out of her hand. I looked into her eyes and seeing the confused look in them made me smile. I had come up with a plan that was probably going to make her nervous as hell but I wanted to show Lauren that outside of school and my mental health we had a pretty awesome relationship. "I was thinking you and I could go out on a date."

"A date?"

I nodded a little and repeated, "A date." I grinned when I realize I couldn't hold back the smartass remark that was on the tip of my tongue. "You know where we go out and I tell you how pretty you look then I do something embarrassing which causes you to look at me with that 'how'd I get so lucky' look."

Lauren smiled and wondered, "Is that what you get from that look."

"That's what I interpret it as."

Lauren crossed her arms over her chest and asked, "What about your exam for tomorrow?"

I took a sip of my juice then pointed out, "I do believe I was told last night that I could only study so much before my brain fell out."

Lauren hummed then wondered, "And who told you that?"

I placed my hands on her waist then I wrapped my arms around it as I smiled. "Some girl who also happened to blow my mind last night in bed."

Lauren pretended to be angry as she said, "Well tell that girl that I know my way around a gun and I'd hate to go to jail."

I chuckled then I leaned in to place a brief kiss on her lips. I broke the kiss then rested my forehead on hers and whispered, "So how about it Lauren? You, me, some fancy restaurant then a hot make out session in the back of my Camaro for old times' sake."

Lauren smiled and said, "I'm not certain what kind of girl you think I am Bo."

"Lauren…."

She chuckled then gave me a quick kiss before she finally gave me an answer. "Yes Bo I would like to go on a date with you."

I smiled and said, "Awesome."

I let her go so she could finish making breakfast and as she was scrambling eggs she wondered, "Where did this date idea come from?"

I was sitting on the counter next to the fridge and I said, "Well I realized since we've came back into each other's lives that we haven't done much couple-y things because of everything."

Lauren glanced at me over her shoulder. "You think we're a couple?"

My heart dropped and I stared at her with an uncertain look on my face as I answered, "Well yeah. I um…I assumed we were because of everything and the sex and the uh….everything else."

I never thought that Lauren didn't want to be with me. Before doubt was able to invade my brain she walked over to me and I saw the playful glint in her eyes. I let out the breath I was holding. She was messing with me. Lauren stood between my legs and she rested her hands on my thighs then as she leaned forward they began to move up. I unconsciously leaned forward to meet Lauren's lips for a kiss but she stopped before they met and whispered, "Bo…"

"Huh?" That all I could say with her being so close and yet so far away.

"You want to be my girlfriend?" I nodded my head yes and she grinned as she said, "Good because we were going to have problems if you didn't want to be."

I placed my hand on the back of her neck and before I closed the small gap that was between us I whispered, "I'll always want you Lauren. No matter what." I pressed my lips against hers. The kiss was slow and sweet but then as it progressed to something else we became lost in it. It wasn't until the doorbell began to ring repeatedly did we stop.

Lauren pulled back and muttered, "Stay right here. I'm just going to kill my best friend real quick."

I chuckled and gave her a quick kiss before I said, "Stop it. You know you love her too much to do that."

Lauren began to walk out of the kitchen. "But I can still hurt her though."

I laughed as she walked out of the room. We had a clear definition of our relationship and a date tonight. It felt good to be a normal couple without my issues looming over us. Lauren and Tamsin walked into the kitchen and Tamsin exclaimed, "You two didn't do anything near the food did you?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. It was going to be a long morning.

XXXX

"I don't have a damn thing to wear." I huffed, moving things around in my closet. I was anxious about this impromptu date Bo wanted to take me on.

"That's because all you have is t-shirts, jeans, sweatshirts and three button downs. Oh, you have that one dress you had to wear to Great Aunt Myrtle's funeral." Tamsin laughed at me. She was sitting on the floor against my bed, in those god damned Celtic sweats, eating a popcorn.

I frowned at her, "And all you have is uniforms and those horrid green sweatpants that are about to disintegrate into dust." I crossed my arms across my chest and sat next to her. "Bo just said to wear something nice and comfortable." I ran a hand over my hair, "What does that even mean?"

Tamsin's eyes grew really big and she slugged me, "Oh my god, maybe she's taking you to Red Lobster! They have the best fucking cheesy biscuits." She sighed dreamily, "I need someone to take me to Red Lobster."

I shoved her, "Get Freddy to take you. That poor guy is going to explode if you don't give him a green light."

"Whatever, I let him buy me doughnuts yesterday." Tamsin shoved a hand into the bag of popcorn. "Anyways, this isn't about me. This is about you two nasty asses going out on a date instead of studying and boning over the books here, there and in the classic literature section at the library."

I felt my face turn a bright red, "We didn't…."

"Ha! Bullshit! Laurel told me she caught you two hornballs in the corner when she came to ask about the case briefs you were supposed to be working on." Tamsin chuckled when I buried my chin deeper into my chest, mumbling. "I'm kidding, not really. You two are disgusting and I pray to Dunkin I never have to catch you and write you up for indecent fuckery in public."

I pushed the blonde with both hands, making her fall on her side and spill the popcorn. "Tamsin! Stop! I'm still getting used to this whole new thing, this new relationship and now Bo wants to take me out on a date and I have no clue where we're going and what to wear." I stopped, sighing hard, "We just made it official before you came over for breakfast. She's my girlfriend again."

Tamsin continued to lay on the floor, picking up the stray pieces of popcorn, "Good, that's only like a month behind schedule." She kept her eyes on the floor, "Here's a crazy idea. Put on your one white lady killing V-neck, a pair of nice jeans your mom got you for Christmas and you can borrow one of my leather jackets. You'll look decent for either Red Lobster or Taco Bell." She then looked at me, "Oh PS, you still want to do that ride along this weekend?"

I nodded, moving to stand up and dig out the clothes Tamsin suggested. "Yeah. Saturday night Bo will be going out with Laurel to her parents' house for some event." I glanced at my best friend, "We have to stay out of the shit, this is just a ride along to see if I want to do this."

Tamsin rolled over onto her stomach, still eating, "I gotcha. Question, why the fuck do you want to finish law school and then piss all over it and become a grunt like me?"

I pulled down the pair of jeans and held them against my chest, "To be honest, I'm doing it for Bo and probably will go back into it after a few years. But seeing the bullshit with the professors and some of the cases Keating has me review, I'd rather help people at the street level. It'll give me time and experience to figure out what kind of law I want to go into."

"You love that girl. I knew it years ago, and I knew it when you split your chin open for her." Tamsin stood up, eyeing the small scar on my chin and clutching her popcorn, "I won't tell Bo until you made a final decision. I know how you are about career choices. How many patents do you hold and yet you're at law school?"

I rolled my eyes, "I have fifteen patents, and shut up." I pointed to the dresser, "Find me a V-neck while I shower. If Bo comes over before I'm ready, try to politely entertain her and not tell her anymore fucking dead body or dismemberment stories."

Tamsin giggled, "Oh I do have a new one about a butcher who got his fingers caught in the meat grinder, gave me a new finger sandwich joke to tell."

I groaned and shooed the blonde out of my room so I could get ready. My anxiety building at what this date Bo was taking me on.

It had been a long time since I dated and actually cared about the date. This was going to be a long night.

xXxXxX

I began to regret the date. The date that was my idea to begin with. I sighed as I continued to stare into my closet. "I'm not certain what profound discovery you're looking for in there but I'm certain you're not going to find it."

I turned my head to scowl at Laurel who was standing in my doorway. "I wasn't looking for answers I was…" I trailed off then sighed, "I'm second guessing this date with Lauren."

"Why?" Laurel asked as she sat down on my bed.

I sighed as I pulled off the shirt that I was wearing. I pulled a black button up off of its hanger and said, "Because I am nervous that I might be way in over my head. I haven't dated since well…" I frowned, "since high school."

Laurel chuckled then quipped, "Well at least your date hasn't changed."

I glared at her for a moment then shook my head. I got a smartass grin on my face, "And I hope you have fun tonight's study session with Michaela."

She scowled at me. "Thanks for that by the way. I had to invite douche face because I didn't want to be alone with her."

"So that's how you're going to handle that?" I looked back into my closet and said, "By not dealing with it?"

"And why are you nervous about your date?" Laurel asked, changing the subject.

I found a pair of jeans that would work for my first date attire. The shirt showed enough cleavage that I knew Lauren would be able to look at my boobs because no matter how much time had passed she was still a fan of my boobs. The jeans would show off my ass in a flattering way and were also comfortable enough for what I had planned. I walked over to my bed and laid the two pieces of clothing on it then replied, "Because I haven't dated since Lauren and I were teenagers."

"What about-"

I shook my head and told her, "Those don't count." They really didn't count considering my mental state. I sighed. "Also it's the first time Lauren and I have been on a date, and without school or my wackiness in the way I'm not sure we can sustain a conversation."

"Ah," Laurel remarked as her head nodded in understanding. "I mean have you two talked about what she's been up to for the last eight years?"

I walked over to my dresser and opened the top drawer. "No we haven't at least not in depth. I haven't had the chance to ask and I don't think she wants to bring up anything that'll trigger me to go to a negative space."

"Are you in a good place to talk about what she's been up to for the last eight years?" Laurel asked as she walked over to stand beside me.

I stared down into the open drawer as I thought about her question. Lauren's past was probably about her and Tamsin's time in California which I had snippets of so I didn't see anything wrong with it. I shrugged and looked at Laurel, "I should be fine."

She gave me a quick hug and said, "Good and go with that. I've got to go get ready for this study group that you are bailing on."

I chuckled and told her, "Deal with your Michaela issue, Laurel or I will make you."

She flicked me off as she walked out of my room and I laughed. I closed the door to my room then I began to undress for my shower. Talking with Laurel had put me at ease at little but I was still nervous. I wanted this night with Lauren to be perfect because since we had come back into each other's lives it had been one gigantic emotional roller coaster because of me but tonight I wanted to focus on her. I started for my bathroom and I took a deep breath then exhaled through my nose. I could do this.

I wiped my hands on my jeans then I pressed the button for the doorbell. I had felt fine when I left my place. I had felt fine on the drive to Lauren's place but now, standing in front of the door, I wanted to run the other way. But the door opened and I knew it was too late. Tamsin's body filled the doorway and the first thing I noticed was the gun in her hand. "Is that loaded?"

Tamsin slid back the top part of the gun then inserted a brush and as she cleaned out the chamber she remarked, "Not yet but it might be later."

I stood there, wide eyed, as she continued to clean the gun. I heard Lauren say from somewhere inside the house, "Tamsin why is your-Goddammit." She ran in to the entrance hall and she pulled Tamsin back into the house. "Put your gun away. Jesus. It's like dealing with a teenage boy. Whipping out your weapon whenever you want."

"Did you just make a penis joke?" Tamsin asked as she stood there a huge grin on her face.

I never understood their friendship but sometimes it flew over my head. "Uh, guys. Still here."

Lauren glared at Tamsin for another second then she smiled at me. "I'm sorry Bo. Tamsin thinks she's being funny when that isn't the case. Very far from the case." She moved aside and said, "Come in." She gave Tamsin a pointed look, "Go. Away."

I walked into the entrance hall and Tamsin gave me a pat on the shoulder. "I was just fucking with you Bo."

Lauren shook her head and muttered, "I'm going to murder her." She smiled at me and asked, "Are you okay?"

I nodded as I watched Tamsin walk into the living room. "Yeah. I am," I looked at her then cleared my throat before asking, "Are you all set to go?"

Lauren nodded and said, "For the most part. Let me grab my jacket." She walked into the living room and she scolded Tamsin for something then she walked back into the entrance hall. "Okay I'm ready."

I smiled at then I reached for the doorknob and as I did, Tamsin called out, "Hey Bo." I was reluctant to acknowledge her but I glanced at her and she held up her gun as she said, "Don't have her home too late or you won't like the consequences."

"Tamsin cut it out or I'll report you." Lauren threatened as she yanked the door open. We walked out of the house and she apologized, "I'm sorry about her."

I chuckled a little then told her, "It's okay it helped with my nerves a bit."

"Your nerves? Why are you nervous?" Lauren asked as we walked to my car.

We got to my car and I opened the door for her as I replied, "This is our first date and I want to make sure it goes well."

Lauren kissed my cheek then smirked. "Don't be nervous. You survived Tamsin being, well….Tamsin."

"This is true."

We got into the car and Lauren asked, "So what are we doing on our date?"

I grinned at her and said, "That is something that you will find out about when we get there."

I could feel Lauren's eyes on me. I knew she was trying to figure out where we were going but she wasn't going to figure it out. I had spent most of the day trying to plan a good date and nothing seemed good enough but I was able to think of something. When we got closer to the harbor area of city Lauren asked, "Are we going to a seafood restaurant?" I continued to grin as I drove to the parking lot for the pier. I parked then we got out and as we were walking down the pier Lauren said, "Okay so it's not a seafood restaurant so where are we going?"

"God you really don't do surprises well," I said as I squeezed her hand. We walked down to the last slip and moored to the dock was a yacht. "Here's our date."

Lauren eyed the boat then she looked at me then back at the yacht. "What are we going to do? Go deep sea fishing?"

I laughed and I gave her hand a tug then said, "Nope we're going to have dinner then we're going to have an entire night of us doing whatever but we are not allowed to talk about school or my mental issues."

Lauren smiled and looked at me for a moment then said, "That sounds like a wonderful evening."

I returned the smile then turned to walk up the plank so that we could board the boat. We were only going to be out on the water for a few hours but it was going to be a great few hours.

XXXXXX

A yacht was a strange first date, and I almost wanted to turn around and suggest we just go to one of the seafood restaurants we passed on the way. I had a weird thing with boats, but I didn't dare tell Bo. The look on her face, the grin, the way she was clearly giddy and excited for this first date, I would play along. Upside, I was spending time with her and nowhere near a pile of books or annoying roommates.

There was a young man who greeted Bo when we boarded, he smiled at me and gave us a quick tour of the small dinner table set up near the front of the yacht. I barely listened, my eyes drifting out to the water and the way the sun bounced off the waves as it began to set.

"Lauren? Are you okay?" Bo's hand squeezed mine, pulling my thoughts from the water and back to the woman standing in front of me.

I nodded, "Perfect." I looked at the table, "How fancy is this dinner going to be?" I smiled, "I feel under dressed for a fancy boat with a fancy dinner."

Bo giggled, kissing my cheek, "It's a fancy dinner, yes. But not too fancy." She pulled me to the small table. "It's just you, me, the captain of the boat and his one steward who will be serving us and then disappearing after dessert." She pointed at the bottle of sparkling cider in an ice bucket. "Alcohol free cruise for me, but the steward can get you a drink if you need it."

I shook my head, "I'm great Bo. I don't need a drink." I sighed harder when I moved to the chair Bo had pulled out for me. I could feel the boat begin to rock and pull away from the dock. I had to close my eyes as my own memories started to filter in my thoughts.

Bo sat on an angle next to me. "We're having filet mignon for the main course and I think crab cakes first." She scrunched her face up, "I can't remember what the menu is, I'm really nervous."

"Why are you nervous?" I ran my hand down her arm, "I think after everything we've done, a first date seems a little backwards." I sighed, "This is amazing Bo, thank you."

Bo blushed and set about filling our glasses. "So, since we can't talk about school or me, I was wondering if you could share something about you. What you've been up to in the last eight years."

I raised my eyebrows, "Nothing exciting. The most exciting things are all Tamsin related." I smiled tightly, wanting to change the subject.

Bo reached over and grabbed my hand, big brown eyes meeting mine, "I'm serious Lauren. All we've focused on is me and getting me better. I've not once asked how you are or how you were. I know we agreed to move past the past, but I feel like I've missed so much about you when we were apart. Like how you grew into this incredibly beautiful strong woman and why you're not a rocket scientist or a FBI agent."

I laughed lightly, rolling my eyes, "I never wanted to be a FBI agent, just wanted to date one red headed one." I took a large sip of the sparkling cider, suddenly wishing it was wine. I knew what Bo was trying to do, but there were parts of my life over the last eight years I kept locked up and away from even Tamsin.

"You know what I mean. What was Stanford like? What was it like working for Tamsin's dad and why aren't you a billionaire doctor? Tamsin told me that you worked in biomedicine and were brilliant at it." Bo grinned at me, "Tell me something, Lauren. I want to know everything."

I sighed, chewing on the inside of my mouth, debating it. I spun the glass in my hands when the steward appeared with a large bouquet of flowers in his hand. He grinned and handed them to me, "With compliments from Ms. Dennis."

I blushed and took the flowers and stammered out a thank you. I then looked at Bo who was grinning at me still but was nervous. "Bo, you didn't have to do all of this. I would have been happy with going to Red Lobster or the taco joint across the street from your place."

Bo leaned over, kissing me softly as she whispered, "I could have, but I love you and I want to treat you right." She sat back down as the steward served the crab cakes. "I feel like we have so much time to make up for and now that we're adults and have the freedom, I'm going to go out of my way to do all of the things I should have when we were younger." She paused, "You mean the world to me, Lauren."

Setting the flowers down, I saw the nervous apprehension in Bo's eyes. In all honesty, Bo and I really had no idea who we were now. I was a far different person at twenty five than at sixteen and it was all the things I had done or almost done in the last eight years that shaped me into who I am now. I also saw that Bo was far different now, fragile but eager to be as strong as she thought I was.

I poked at the crab cake in front of me as a strange silence hovered around us. Only the sound of the water and the yacht's quiet engine filtered in between the silence.

I debated it for a few more minutes, knowing that I needed to tell Bo something, anything, about my past. She had been so open and honest with me, and no matter how painful it had been to hear it, it helped me understand and forged a stronger bond between us. I was just worried that if I told her everything, it might trigger her. Send her further away not closer to me.

After hearing all of the supportive voices in my head, including the one that lingered with me the longest. A voice that I had only heard once but it left a mark on my soul, I set the fork down and looked at Bo. If we were meant to be forever, she would be able to handle my past like I had been able to handle hers.

"Stanford was horrible the first year I was there. No sixteen year old is ever prepared for freshman year, no matter how big my brain was." I smiled when Bo looked up at me. "I was awkward socially and fell back into the old tricks I used in high school. I ran, I hid, I studied until the library closed and then would walk to the apartment alone." Bo moved closer to me, smiling softly for me to continue. "I was heartbroken and literally unable to talk to anyone without stumbling or stuttering and soon, like in high school, the kids all picked on me or used me to get them through their classes."

I stared at Bo's hand in mine, "Tamsin stepped up like she always did, became my bodyguard and fought with me to keep me from quitting college. I focused on schoolwork and not social interaction and by year two, I had already gotten the first degree. Biomedical engineering. I loosened up when I discovered that alcohol kind of numbs a lot of feelings." I ran my thumb over her knuckles, feeling her hand squeeze harder. "Not that I became hard core like the frat boys, I just drank to find the courage to talk to people and forget for a moment who I was."

Bo moved closer, "Lauren, I'm so sorry." Her voice was quiet and when I looked up, I saw her eyes glossing over.

I shrugged, smiling to ease her. "It's not your fault. I was always one to live in my head and not the reality around me, aside from schoolwork. I stopped drinking like a frat boy after I launched an attack on Tamsin. Thought banging it out with my best friend would fix whatever it was that was broken inside of me, something that went far beyond us. The broken pieces of our relationship, our love." I bit my bottom lip, pinching it between my bottom lip to keep the tears back. I hated talking about this with anyone, especially Bo, but every time I met her eyes, I was compelled to keep going. Keep letting out the garbage that had been simmering in the pit of my soul for years, "I didn't date until I turned twenty. After Stanford was done and I had my two degrees, I went to work at a biotech company who hired me on graduation day."

I looked away from Bo and out on the water, "I tried. Everyone gave me credit for trying. Getting out in the world and meeting new people. I had grown into my skin, literally and figuratively and it was unusual for me to have attention. Female and male attention." I chuckled, "And I still lacked the social skills to navigate a simple conversation over dinner and drinks."

Bo smiled softly, "You're beautiful inside and out, Lauren. I can see why people were drawn to you." Her words were genuine, but I could see the tiny flicker of jealousy in her eyes.

I turned backed to our hands, "Yeah, but I was never really drawn to any of them. I would indulge for the sake of growing as a person and trying to move past, the past." I closed my eyes, "But no one ever compared to you, filled the spaces in my heart and soul like you did. There was always something about everyone I dated that was missing." I shrugged, "So I gave up and fell back into being aloof and casual. Never mind having to sit back and watch the utter shitshow of a relationship Tamsin had when she was county sheriff."

Bo raised her eyebrows, "She was a county sheriff? That explains her cowboy ways with her gun earlier."

I laughed, pulling my hand free from Bo's so I could take another sip, "She has settled way down, if you can believe that. But seeing her go through her heartbreak and being there to pick up the pieces like she did for me, I resigned that love was a pile of shit. It was something I would never have again, at least in the way I had it with you." I felt my eyes well up as what I was about to share next.

Bo's hand fell to my arm when she noticed it, "Lauren, we don't have to talk about it. We can eat these crab cakes and talk about how my parents want us to come down next month for their annual spring cocktail party." She smiled, "You know my dad has been dying to see the pipsqueak and how much you've changed. We've changed."

I furrowed my brow, ignoring her subject change, "Two years ago, things had gotten worse. I was lost, miserable in work and life. I had quit the biotech company. Cashing out on the patents I held and went part time at Tamsin's dad's company. Working because I had no idea what else do even though I had enough money to travel the world three times over. But I just didn't feel right, I didn't feel happy. I was lost and really saw no point in life and what I was supposed to do with mine."

Bo whispered my name and I looked up quickly to see if I was triggering her to slide back, but instead all I saw was a strength that almost shook me. She grabbed my hand, "I'm fine, keep talking to me, please."

I laughed, sniffling, "Shit, I haven't even told Tamsin this. The only person who knows this, I don't even know if he's alive." I wiped my cheeks as tears rolled down them. "I tried everything. I went training with Tamsin, learned how to fight, defend myself and shoot a gun. I went to parties and never said no to any dates. But at the end of the night or in the morning, I didn't see the point in any of it. Then my dad would tell me he saw you and I would find your Myspace profile because I missed you so much."

I paused, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "Your pictures were so happy. You and that one girl, you looked happy and I couldn't be mad at you. Because I thought you had figured out what I hadn't yet. How to be happy without being miserable. I was miserable because no matter how much I hated you, I loved you deep down and that's why my relationships never worked out."

I stood up from the chair, I had to get some air and walked to the edge of the boat. I focused on the orange colored water, "I wasn't living. I was hiding in a shell, hoping I could figure it out. But I never could and soon I gave up." I felt Bo's hand fall to the small of my back, I couldn't look at her as I continued to confess. "A world without you in it, in my direct orbit, what was the point. So one night after Tamsin went to work, I wrote a letter to her and my parents and one to you. I then drove down up to San Francisco and found a random pier. I rented a small boat with the intention of going out as far into the ocean as I could and get lost at sea." I closed my eyes and cried when I felt Bo's arm wrap around my waist.

I wiped my face, afraid to look at Bo as I confessed I had almost taken my life because of a stupid prank and a bunch of other stupid shit that was preventable in hindsight.

"What stopped you?" Bo's voice was shaky but confident. I looked down at her, fearful that I had already pushed her too far.

I smiled, "I don't think I want to keep going." I motioned back at the table, "We should go and sit down before the food gets cold." I went to step away when Bo's hold tightened around me and she pulled me to look at her.

"No, Lauren, talk to me. This isn't about me right now. It's about you. I won't lie and say this is killing me to hear, but it's making me stronger in knowing that we were meant to be back together. That all the shit we put ourselves through was a testament to our survival, to survive and be rewarded with finding our way back." She smiled with watery eyes, "So who stopped you so I can thank them?"

I closed my eyes, clenching my jaw. She was right, all the misery rebuilt the both of us into something more. In reality there had been more than a handful of moments that I told myself that if Bo had been by my side like I wanted her when I was sixteen, our relationship might not have lasted. I blew out a shaky breath, "His name was Hank, but all I really remember was that he was a crotchety old bastard."

I opened my eyes to see Bo still standing in front of me, holding me like she was silently telling me she would never let go. "I made the mistake of hitting his rusted out fishing boat with my tiny little skiff. He came charging out to the end of the pier and barked at me. Scared the living shit out of me and then as I stumbled out apologies, he asked what I was doing. I lied and said I was going deep sea fishing. He saw through my lie and barked at me for the truth, I broke down because I was literally at the end of my rope."

I closed my eyes again as the memory of Hank filled my head.

"Deep sea fishing? You want to tell me another bullshit lie girlie?" The man was huge, barrel chested with a mop of salt and pepper hair. He wore a salt stained fishing shirt and a pair of floral shorts. He eyed the small boat, "You have no gear, no lifejacket and that giant bottle of Jack Daniels tells me a different truth."

I sniffled, reaching for the rope to climb back in the boat, "This isn't a problem of yours. I'll be out of your hair in a second."

Hank rushed forward and grabbed the rope from my hands, "Girlie, suicide by sea is a piss poor way to go out. You'll just end up on the shore scaring the shit out of some tourist sunbathers or get eaten by a shark while you're still alive." He pushed me back and tied up the boat in a knot I knew I wouldn't be able to untangle. He then reached and grabbed the giant bottle of Jack. He squinted at me, and pointed at the boat next to us, "Climb up there and tell me why you're wanting to sleep with the fishes. You're too pretty and too smart to be this dumb."

I glared at him, frowning, "The fuck you know me." I folded my arms across my chest and went to walk away. I would just find another boat and another bottle. "Leave me alone."

He grabbed my arm, looking at me with light blue eyes that told a thousand stories. "I do know you, I've met a million like you and every morning I wake up and look in the mirror." He waved to the boat, "Get on my boat, my name's Hank and I work for LAPD." He flipped up the edge of his shirt to reveal a gold badge. "What's your name?"

I blew out a breath, knowing I would have to bow to this man for right now or end up in the psyche hold for twenty four hours. "Lauren."

Hank smiled, "Nice to meet you, Lauren." He walked me to the back of his boat, "Now tell me what's so terrible about your life, cause I can guarantee I've seen worse and been through worse."

I stepped back from Bo, folding my arms tighter, "So I told Hank everything. From high school graduation to that day. I poured out everything about you, how I missed you and couldn't figure out how to live like a normal person without you. I even ranted and raved about all the little shit that was bothering me. We finished the bottle of Jack and Hank listened. When I was done he leaned over to me, patting me on the shoulder and said. "Girlie, it sounds like you've got life far more figured out than the rest of us. I might be old, but it sounds like you have a life living for and if this girl you love, is the only one you can imagine loving. It'll come back at some point, whether it's inside of her or in someone else. Love will find its way back to you." I stared at him like he was a crazy old cop." I turned back to the water, "But by the time I woke up in the morning on his boat. He handed me a hot cup of coffee and told me that he was taking me back home. He had gotten a hold of Tamsin and told her he was an old pal of mine from the biotech company I worked for and that I had come up for the weekend for a visit."

Bo stared at me intently, waiting for me to stop or keep going. I took in a deep breath, "He drove me home and told me stories of the things he saw as a cop then as a detective in the city of angels. He would often look over at me and just tell me that there was a reason why I had to stick it out and not let the sea be my chosen fate. Kept telling me that he could see in my eyes that I had a lot left to do in this world and he would do his damndest to keep me in it."

I laughed lightly through the tears, "I couldn't shake the old bastard after that. He got my phone number and called me every other day to check up on me. Soon Hank and I became friends and the only other person to know that I had come this close to giving up on life. He fought with me, laughed with me, and even taught me how to tame Tamsin when she was acting like the cowboy. Mainly he taught me how to step out of myself and keep fighting the world, and not take it personal." I reached out, silently asking for Bo's hand. When hers fell into mine, I sighed, feeling complete. "He was right. That old bastard was right. I had to stick it out and fight. I had to keep fighting because deep down I knew love would come back to me, I just had no idea it would be the first girl I ever loved."

Bo sniffled, smiling, "I need to thank Hank." She walked into my arms and held me close, "He saved you and me."

I chuckled, "I think he'd like to meet you, I spent many a day talking his ear off about you." I kissed the top of Bo's head, "But he is the reason why I found the strength to fight with you and for you. He never let me forget that shit will get tough, but you get tougher and soon you get over it and find the good things in life. That's why I never bent with you when we fell back into our lives." I squeezed her harder, "I love you so much."

Bo whispered it back against my chest and I looked back out on the waves, silently thanking Hank. I had the last of the weight I had been carrying around on my back since Bo and I met again, dissolve and fade away to nothing.

After a moment of holding her, I leaned back to wipe her cheeks, "Now that I've ruined the appetizer, you want to collect ourselves and start this again over a filet mignon? And I can tell you about the fifteen patents I hold and nerd out about all the nerdy things I did in the last eight years? Because that part of me hasn't changed." I grinned, "I can tell you about the time I met Gillian Anderson dressed up as Scully on the way to a Halloween party in San Diego."

Bo let out a huge sigh of relief, the tension between us easing up and taking with it that last bit of nervousness that was always lingering around. I had nothing to hide from her, Bo had nothing to hide from me, there was no longer a need to be nervous. She took my hand, "I would love to hear about all the nerdy things you did and everything else." She quickly met my eyes, "We're going to be okay, aren't we?"

I nodded, leading her back to the table, "We are. I promise that there is nothing left in my closet of skeletons that will change the way I feel about you now. Been there and done that. Having you back and being able to tell you everything, we're unbreakable and have nothing but the future ahead of us." I turned back, smirking, "Unless Gillian Anderson takes me up on that date I asked her on last year."

Bo's mouth dropped open, "You didn't?!"

I winked at her, pulling out her chair, "I did, Tamsin was there to witness it."

Bo shook her head, laughing and leaning over to kiss my cheek, "I hope I answer the phone when she calls so I can tell her you are taken, beyond taken." Bo looked in my eyes, "You're my everything and I will fight agent Scully to the death for you."

I grinned and leaned forward, kissing Bo solidly, before whispering, "Now that's a fight I'd pay to see."

xXxXxX

I had snuck out of bed and was now lying on the roof of Tamsin and Lauren's place. I had Lauren's oversized Stanford hoodie wrapped around me and a blanket over me. It wasn't too cold out but it was the middle of spring so the weather could take a turn at any minute. I stared up at the stars that I could see from the light pollution and thought about everything that had happened that night.

Dinner had gone well after Lauren had made her confession to me. I learned about her patents and she told me about everything that she had done and once we had talked about the darkness of her past there was a brightness in her eyes that warmed my heart and continued to warm my heart as I thought about it. Lauren and I were survivors. Despite everything we had been through we had found some way to continue on. Both of us at one point had wanted to end it all, myself on numerous occasions, but we had managed to recover. Lauren had found some resilient strength and I was still rebuilding my foundation but it was more solid having confronted my past and addressing it. I sighed. It was made even stronger by Lauren's unwavering support.

I spotted a plane in the sky and I watched it as my thoughts continued to drift. I began to wonder what my life would be like if Lauren had gone through with what she had planned. I would have been a shell of a person and probably wouldn't make it to thirty. It was the truth but it was a truth I didn't have to worry about. I took a deep breath to stave off the dark thoughts that wanted to take hold of the depressing thoughts but I didn't allow them. I knew depression didn't vanish overnight and though Lauren seemed to handle her depression better than I did, I still wanted to be the same unwavering support that she had been for me these last few months.

I drew in a deep breath and I let it out slowly before I chuckled to myself. The two of us made a strange pair but we accepted the flaws, faults, and shortcomings of the other. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. Lauren had captured my heart a long time ago and I wanted her to keep it forever.

"Bo?"

I lifted my head and looked at the door. Lauren was standing there in shorts and a t-shirt. California seemed to have planted its seeds in her and Lauren had forgotten how back and forth New England weather could be. I smiled at her and as I lifted the blanket I said, "Get over here or you'll catch a cold."

Lauren scampered over to me and she got under the blanket. She cuddled up to me and said, "I wasn't prepared to come looking for you outside. Why are you out here?"

I smiled while she nestled her head against my shoulder. I rested my chin on top of her head and told her, "I like to think outside. I like the fresh air and I like to look at the stars." I looked at the barely visible dots in the sky. "Granted star watching in the city isn't as fun as it is at home but I like being outside."

"Are you okay? Are you thinking-"

"No Lauren, I'm not and don't for a second begin to regret telling me what you did." I kissed her forehead then let my lips linger on her warm skin for a moment. Then I moved away and said, "I just was processing everything but it's all good." I smiled then remarked, "When we get a place of our own we'll have to get something with a balcony so that way you don't have to come looking for me."

Lauren chuckled. "Are we house hunting already? And you haven't even asked Tamsin for my hand in marriage."

"Oh I will not be asking her. Not after tonight's gun stunt." I said after chuckling a bit. I grinned, "Plus you have to do a reenactment of you asking my parents for permission to date me," I chuckled, "my dad will get a kick out of that one. Though this time he might be a bit harsher this time around."

Lauren tightened the hold that she had around my waist then burrowed her face in my neck. "Oh I have no doubt about that one. Just don't let him kill me."

I pulled the blanket higher up and told her, "I will not let my father kill you since you have stopped Tamsin."

Lauren snorted a little. "Barely." I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling Lauren cuddled up to me while the sounds of the city surrounded us. This was something I didn't think I would ever have again and the fact that I did have it was nothing less than a miracle. It would take a lifetime for me to ever believe that it was real. "Bo?" I hummed my response, "Did we just talk about getting married?"

I chuckled a little then I kissed Lauren's forehead before I replied, "It was never an option to not marry you Lauren. Not when we were teenagers and definitely not now." I gave her a small squeeze, "But don't expect me to propose anytime soon. I got some work to do on myself and I want to get law school out of the way but," I moved my head back so I could look into her eyes, "do know that it is part of my five year plan."

Lauren smiled then she gave me a kiss which lingered. She broke it then rested her head back on my shoulder. We were quiet a moment then she remarked, "Bo Dennis with a five year plan. I never thought I would ever see the day. I remember when you couldn't see past Friday night."

I chuckled and murmured, "Things change," I sighed, "Things changed."

"Yes they do."

We fell silent and neither one of us said another word as we fell into a bubble that consisted only us and the sounds of the city.