Chapter 4

So Close

The warm water did wonders to her body and Amanda finally felt clean. It felt like she was washing two years of filth away. Two years of interacting with pimps, prostitutes and greedy, sick and perverted customers. Turning the shower off, she squeezed the excess water out of her blonde hair, stepped out and wrapped the big towel around her dripping body. Grabbing the spare towel she started the process of drying her soaking tresses.

Walking out of the tiny bathroom, heading for the bed where her clothes were laying she stopped dead in her tracks. Olivia just walked in and Amanda got such a fright she almost dropped her towel. The detective covered her eyes and turned around.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just barge in. I did knock but clearly you didn't hear me. I'm so sorry."

Amanda could feel her face go red and she desperately clutched the towel closer to her body, wishing this wasn't happening. "Um, it's... eh, it's okay." She quickly strode over to the bed and sat down, feeling more comfortable that way. "You can turn around." Liv slowly turned, her own discomfort obvious. "I just wanted to let you know that we are still trying to reach Katia and that we are all working on finding Kim safe and sound. The pimps are still being questioned."

She gazed at the blonde, seeing her skinny body made Olivia feel a bit overly protective towards her. Being just over a decade older than Amanda she felt as if she had an obligation to make sure the younger woman was taking care of herself. Especially at a time like this. She saw goosebumps on the bony arms and decided to leave the blonde alone so she could get dressed in privacy.

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you up if there's anything new. Do you need anything? An extra blanket maybe?"

Amanda licked dry lips. "No, thank you. I eh...I've got all I need." She nervously started to fidget with the corner of her pillowcase before she collected enough strength to look Liv in the eye. "Thank you."

Olivia could tell she really ment it and she could also sense a relief coming from the woman sitting on the bed. She was glad that Amanda finally got some help, even though it was not under the best circumstances, and that it was not all on her shoulders anymore. The detective just smiled and left the room.

"Anything new, guys?" The one six precinct was buzzing with activity even at such an early hour. Munch was just pouring himself another cup of coffee as Olivia came in.

"We managed to identify two of the six girls. They were both taken approximately three years ago, one in Texas, the other one in Utah. Parents filed a missing person's report and we're working on getting in touch with them now. Still trying to get the other girls to talk. Elliot is still grilling the pimps one by one." He leaned up against his desk and struggled a yawn. "I think we're gonna have to come up with a different approach. Maybe torture."

Olivia knew he wasn't being serious and chuckled. "Yeah, that would work very well with the captain."

"What would work well with me?" Don appeared around a corner.

Munch quickly turned around, went back to his desk and burried his nose into a pile of papers. Olivia smiled and poured herself a cup before answering. "Munch was just talking about a new approach he'd like to try out with the pimps. I told him to talk to you about it." Looking over at John she grinned, sipped her hot beverage and headed towards the interrogation rooms, leaving Munch to fall into the hole he just dug for himself.

Elliot was struggling with the perp and Olivia could tell he was struggling with his temper too. After so many years of being partners she could always tell what he was thinking and what his next move was going to be before Elliot even knew it himself. Right now Liv knew he needed a minute to calm down. Knocking on the window twice she waited until he walked out, stern face and tightly clenched fists making his knuckles appear white.

"El, take a breather. He knows you're frustrated and he's enjoying it. Don't let him get to you."

The male detective bit his lower lip, trying to keep a string of obscenities from coming out. "He's giving me nothing, Liv."

The brunette squeezed his strong shoulder. "Take a break. Let him sit there and stew. Go back in after awhile and grill him again, if that's not working we'll think of something else. Maybe Munch's approach wasn't so bad after all." She watched Elliot frown in confusion. "Torture."

Snorting, he stretched his back by raising his arms above his head and twisted. Loud pops could be heard. "Yeah, I've got a couple of ideas I'd like to try out." Stifling a yawn he asked, "How's the blonde doing?"

Olivia sighed. "She's resting in the crib. She had a shower, I gave her some sweats and peppermint tea." Elliot scrunched up his face. "If I ever have to torture you, I'd make you drink it. Lots of it."

"Well, thank god it will never come to that."

Four hours later a tired and confused Amanda quickly made her way to Olivia's desk. "Why didn't you wake me? Why didn't anybody wake me up?" Tears were evident in her blue eyes and Olivia could see she was really anxious and stressed.

Liv stood up, took Amanda gently by the arm and brought her to a more private area. The blonde hair was now dry and the sweats she had been handed were too big, making her look even thinner than before. Olivia could feel the blonde shivering under her touch.

"We're still working on getting the pimps to talk. We're not having much luck but they are still being questioned as we speak. I didn't wake you because you need to get some rest. You can't keep do..."

"What are you, my fucking mother?" Amanda snapped. "I decide myself how much I sleep, when I sleep and where I sleep. Kim is still out there. I was so fucking close getting her back and now I'm back to square one. I should never had... I... I shouldn't have..."

"Have what, Amanda? Gotten us involved, giving us vital information, talking to us in the first place? What?"

Amanda realized Olivia still had her hand on her arm and she roughly pulled it free. "I was so close. So close. If you all hadn't burst through the door all high and mighty with your guns and badges Kim would be with me. She would be safe with me. I'll never see her again." Tears were steadily streaming down her face and Olivia took a step closer trying to calm the woman by again placing a hand on her arm.

Amanda saw her move and quickly pulled away. "Don't."

Liv held her hands up in a resigned manner. "Okay, I won't touch you but I need you to calm down and listen to me. Can you do that?" Taking a couple of deep breaths Amanda bobbed her head, clearly still upset and angry.

"Let's say we never burst through that door, lets say Kim arrived, what was the next step in your plan? Did you even think that far? What was your escape plan, did you have one? What would you have done?" She could tell from the look on Amanda's face that she hadn't thought that far ahead and that she was struggling with her emotions that were coming on in full force. Olivia pushed Amanda's wish, of not wanting to be touched aside and put a hand on her lower back. "Come on, let's go talk in the captain's office. I actually need your help on something." Liv gently lead the slight shaking woman into Don 's office and sat down next to Amanda on the leather couch. "I need to know if you were ever working in another house previous to your recent one. Or did you ever visit another house somewhere or talked to other Madames? Anything at all that might be useful in our investigation?"

Amanda was still boiling mad but she knew that Olivia was right. She didn't have a plan figured out once she got Kim back. She honestly hadn't thought that far ahead and she was slightly embarrassed about it. "I'm so stupid." She mumbled.

Olivia sighed. "Don't do that to yourself. You did what you thought was right. You did what you had to do to protect your family." There was a slight pause before she spoke again. "Is there someone you'd like me to call? Parents, a friend or any other family?"

The blonde shook her head. "No, there's nobody. Its just us. Just me and Kim and look what I did to her. How could I let this happen? She's my little sister, I'm suppose to look after her." Her blue eyes were brimming with tears again. Angrily, she brushed them away, leaving tear marks on her flushed cheeks.

Liv felt sorry for the woman and started to rub her lower back in soothing circles. "Stop that. You'll make yourself crazy with the 'what ifs'. You did nothing wrong, Amanda. Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong." Olivia's gentle voice just brought out more tears and the floodgates opened. A little unsure of what to do the older woman wrapped an arm around quivering shoulders and pulled her close.

"Its gonna be okay, Amanda. Its all gonna be okay." Unconsciously Liv started to rock them both from side to side while still speaking words of comfort and kindness. "We're doing everything we can and thanks to you we have a lot to go on. You did the hardest part and you did great. Now it's up to us to take over what you started. Everything you've done so far is beyond me. You've been so strong and brave through this whole time. I don't think I would've been as strong as you. You should allow yourself to feel a little proud."

Amanda's sobs turned into sniffles and eventually pulled herself free from the comforting embrace. She hadn't felt so soothed and comforted in a long time and a part of her wanted to stay in the secure arms of the detective. She felt her cheeks heating up from embarrassment of thinking that way and for, only a couple of minutes, allowed herself to be held by this kind stranger.

She took a few minutes to collect herself and to make sure her voice wasn't going to break. "There was another house."