A/N: Here is some Owen, I couldn't skip him, he's quite lovable for me.

Spoilers: Sleeper

Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian

Owen was not listening. He was composing himself. Dissecting Beth wasn't his best moment. He had become much calmer lately. He didn't know just how much until Jack came back. Jack reminded him of the time before he shot him, of the anger building up, of that energy that couldn't be released. Shooting Jack allowed him to do that, to release his anger to the limit, he became as bad as he could without terrifying himself. He was terrified when Jack went down and that was the line he wasn't willing to cross or approach one more time. There were a reasons he was a doctor, and he was in Torchwood, and they weren't to hurt people.

That's how Jack became his limit, something to measure his position against. He was so calm when Jack walked in, there was no more anger; he only wanted to know if he was fixed. Jack shrugged his question off with a weak joke and Owen finally saw into him, he saw the place Jack was weak and hurt, he saw where he put his sorrows to get them out of the way. And that was ok with Owen, it made Jack bearable. He discovered that knowing why there never was a need to stitch Jack up and it made easier to handle Jack. Because he wasn't untouchable, he got hurt; only he got to stitch up himself.

When he got used to having Jack back he felt his spine loosening up a bit, he wasn't sorry to see responsibility go. He thought he could do so much, but he lost that illusion and got back to saving lives, to stitching a wound and pumping a heart back to life. He was all big and strong in front of Gwen and Tosh but that blow fish was right about his hands full of blood; he did choose to save before killing. It wasn't a great advantage for the defender against alien threats. Jack could kill, Owen knew that, Owen had despised that earlier, but now he appreciated that he was willing to make those decisions.

"We couldn't take that chance" Owen told to Gwen when Beth was down and he knew he was right, they protected Gwen. It was their job to protect her, but it didn't make Beth any less dead. The fact that she helped them even after she knew she wasn't one of them just made it worse. She was a patient of his and his abilities as a doctor were challenged to find a way around her alien self. Success in doing so made her sacrifice even worse.

Tosh's voice snapped him out of his musings. She was still there. Her voice went into alarm mode and that made Owen pay attention but it was only some stuff about messes and cleaning between her and Tea-boy so he lost interest.

"Besides, you would starve if I quit" Ianto said louder and got Owen's attention back.

"Quit? Why would Tea-boy quit?" Owen turned around worried. "We don't have enough of Retcon to make him forget, he's like elephant." He added to cover up his concern, Owen had no illusions that things would be easier without Ianto to put down.

"We weren't talking about work. Pay attention if you want to know." Tosh turned her back on him and he smiled at her. He loved when she was snappy.

"Nah" Owen decided that he was done with cleaning his instruments and that it was time for some gaming on the computer to clear his mind. He'd been thinking too much.

But as the game got started he couldn't help but think some more. The thing that lingered in the back of his mind wasn't his calmer self, which he understood and could trace how it came to be. It puzzled him how it happened that he changed his mind about the Tea-boy. He wasn't malicious or lying when he fought with him for the Rift controls but he did think of him just as a Tea-boy, someone that ran Jack's errands. Even when it turned out that he was right about them shagging from time to time, it didn't improve his opinion of Ianto. Sure he went out with him to check his state of mind because Tosh asked him to, and they had the near Mountholder experience, but even that didn't change his mind. He remembered it clearly. Going out just confirmed what Ianto was going through, much like Owen's 'must-have-sex' phase to forget his girlfriend died, only he didn't stop at women to do so. And that Moving Head thing just showed that he wasn't crap in the field and that they could use him.

It wasn't that he disliked Tea-boy that much, he just didn't think very highly of him and his capabilities. He thought Jack kept him around because he looked good in a suit. After Jack was gone Ianto kept doing what he always did without big acts and one could sometimes forget he was there. In the Himalayas he brought their food and took care of things, but there wasn't much of an opportunity to make a mark, to prove himself there. Still when they were back Owen discovered that when he looked at Ianto he saw him differently. Like there was something he owed Ianto, but there was nothing there. That irritated Owen, that blank spot. He would like that Ianto remained the same in his eyes, small and unimportant, someone just to ignore. But there it was, he became someone to respect and Owen had no clue why it was so.

Even after day like this he had to wonder where Ianto found his cojones. There was nothing of the blushing timid Tea-boy. He just stood there contradicting Jack and calmly bringing up his manners in bed. Owen never thought he'd see the day Jack shushed someone to save himself from embarrassment. Ianto never spoke about Jack, even when they questioned him, and Owen thought he'd just withdraw when faced with Jack. But instead he just acted freely. It seemed to Owen he wanted to put their dear old captain in his place. Owen smiled; he liked the thought that Ianto could hold something against Jack.

"What are you smiling at?" Tosh spoke up looking at him from her station.

"Oh, just thinking how it is nice to hold some piece of dirt on your ex, to ensure they respect you later on." Owen was frank with her, he always was.

"Didn't think you were the type to demand respect" she smiled softly.

"What? I don't deserve respect?" Owen rose his voice pouting.

Tosh just smiled and turned back to her computer. Owen watched her profile for a bit longer.

That wanker John Hart, which he would kill on spot if he was different man, was right about one thing. Tosh was brains and beauty. Owen always knew that, but she wasn't kind of a woman you could pursue just to mess up some sheets. She was loyal and serious. Owen could bet that date he agreed upon would turn out great. She loved his wit, and he loved her smile, it was hard not to love it. But that was the reason he hesitated in doing it. Tosh was here all the time, throughout his drunkenness, womanizing, anger, rudeness, always polite and ready to step in, to cover his tracks. She was the presence a few feet away that made him less alone even when he wasn't aware of it. Gwen made him feel alone as hell; even now there was always that guilt of hers between them. It pissed him off, but he knew it would be like that, he ensured that everything went there.

He was expert in messing things up. He hesitated to mess Tosh up so he continued like before and she let him. It was beautiful actually that she could do that.

In a sense Owen was satisfied to be where he was. It didn't seem to him anymore that the future was something great you should run to.