Zero Division Makes Themselves At Home
Yamamoto had called all the Captains to an urgent meeting. His letter did not say what it was about it only stressed the matter of all Captains attending ASAP. So the Captains all rushed from their barracks at the Squad One where they found the Head-Captain sitting in his chair, a dark look on his face.
None had ever seen his face so twisted and stoic, hidden behind his long bear and eyebrows. He did not wait, when the last Captain had entered the room he immediately began.
"Everyone!" he began." I have an important message to rely to all of you." The Captains waited on every word, no doubt something big was coming." I will be taking a small leave of absence." That was not quite the news they were expecting, it was startling but not concerning.
"Yama." Said Shunsui stepping up." If you wanted a vacation you could have just said so. You didn't have too-"
"SILENECE!" the old man barked at him, jumping out of his seat. Shunsui shrunk back into his place between Ukitake and Kenpachi." I have been called away on business." He continued as he walked forward, between the two rows of Captains." To the Soul Palace." Now that was defiantly news.
"The Soul Palace." They murmured exchanging odd looks." The dwelling of the Soul King."
"But why Head-Captain?" asked Byakuya stepping up." Why are you called away, and on such short notice."
"Indeed." Said Yamamoto." It is very sudden."
"But surely you can't just leave us." Said Sajin.
"What will we do without you Head-Captain?" Added Matsuri.
"I have no choice." Told the old man." I have my orders, and they are to go to the Soul Palace. But there will be a replacement for me."
"Replacement?" asked Kenpachi.
"Who can replace you Head-Captain?" asked Matsuri. Yamamoto was silent, turning his head around to face Unohana, Ukitake, and Shunsui the only Captains who'd understand. And Yamamoto's silence coupled with the grim look on his face showed his distress to them.
"The Royal Guard." Said Unohana aloud for the rest to hear." Zero Squad." Yamamoto nodded.
And that was the biggest news of all. The Royal Guard, Protectors of the Soul King and his family who dwell in the Soul Palace with him. Five in total, said to be stronger than all Captains of the Gotei 13.
"Yes." Yamamoto nodded." The Zero Squad will act as my replacement should trouble arise in my absence."
The next day all the Captains arrived at the Dangai which would soon open and Yamamoto would walk through to the Soul Palace and the Zero Squad would enter the Soul Society. And that time was nearly upon them.
"Sajin." Said Toshiro getting his attention." Who's in the Zero Squad? And why have we never had dealing with them before?" Sajin shook his head.
"The Zero Squad is very different from us in the Gotei 13." Said Ukitake who walked over, having overheard them. With the exception of himself, Shunsui, Unohanna, and the Head-Captain the other Captains were far too young to know much about the Royal Guard." They are all former Captains promoted to an even higher position." Now the other Captains began to gather around and listen as Ukitake spoke." Their main purpose is to Guard the Soul King and his Family. And it's said that their combined power is stronger than all the Gotei 13 combined." The Captains all dropped their jaws in surprise.
"Impossible." Said Bansui in disbelief.
But Yamamoto overheard them as well, and when Ukitake had said that last part he smirked under his beard. But then something else go their attention, the portal before them opening.
"They are here." Said Yamamoto with a hint of mild anger in his voice. The Captains all looked forward and saw as four figures stepped through and stood before them.
There were two men and two women. One very large and burly man while the other was as tall as he was thin. The same was of the women one as round as a dime while the other was thin as a needle.
"I thought there were supposed to be five in the Zero Squad." Commented Byakuya.
Yamamoto turned back to his captains." Do not be afraid." He addressed them." While the Royal Guard like to think their unbeatable, in reality you'll find it the opposite. Do not let them push you around." With his words spoken he turned back, just time for the Zero Squad to stand before him.
"Old man Yamamoto!" yelled the thin man at him." You look the same as ever." The Head-Captain said nothing." With that large brow, wrinkles, and that bald head." He reached down and was about to poke him but before he could Yamamoto swatted his hand away.
Then he pushed past him and the rest of the Royal Guard before casually walking through the portal which took him to the Soul Palace.
"He hasn't changed at all." Commented the skinny man.
"He was always too serious." Added the fat woman." Think that's why he lost all his hair." Then the Royal Guard all slowly turned their heads around and saw the rest of the Gotei 13 Captains standing there. A long awkward silence ensued as they all looked each other over. But eventually someone broke the ice.
"GREETINGS FRIENDS!" yelled the big man." How are you this fine day?!" He walked over and started making his way around to all the Captains." I'm Ichibei Hyosube, member of the Royal Guard!" He walked around and with an overly happy smile and a strong grip, meet all the Captains. He walked over and stood before Sajin." Well you're a big boy ain't you!" he said in a hearty voice.
"Wha-" began Sajin.
But then Ichibei in an overly playful manner jumped up and bumped his chest into Sajin's. It was so sudden and unexpected that Sajin stumbled back." And you!" Ichibei quickly turned to Toshiro." You're not bigger than a corn nubbin, what are you doing here?!" Toshiro was visibly annoyed by the vein in the side of his head. But then Ichibei slapped Toshiro in the back, sending him quickly to the ground with his great swing. He then quickly moved onto the other Captains, catching sight of two of the oldest."Well, well if it isn't Shunsui and Jushiro!" He said excited." I haven't seen you two since you were little!"Ukitake chuckle sheepishly while Shunsui covered his head with his hat. Then Ichibei swung down and grabbed the two in his big, grizzly bear like arms crushing them.
"Yes, Yes." Grunted Ukitake." It's good to see you too."
At this time the skinny man wandered over to Unohana, standing well over her and leaning towards her.
"Hello Retsu." He said." Long time, no see."
"Tenjiro Kirinji." He responded." A pleasure to see you again after all this time."
"Are you still using the healing techniques I taught you?" he asked in a mocking tone while extending his body over her.
"Naturally." Replied Unohana. Tenjiro continued to look at her but then his eyes scanned around and he saw an interesting sight, the two other female Captains Soifon and Matsuri. He slinked and slunked by Unohanna and appeared behind the two other women.
"Hello ladies." He said putting on arm over each of them and leaning his head in. The two looking back at him strangely." I'm Tenjiro Kirinji, Royal Guard Member, kind of a big deal." He said flashing the two a sly grin." I could get you both recommendations if you'd like." He brought them closer to him. But the two women were clearly disgusted, shook him off and walked away. Tenjiro then stood alone and then looked around and saw the other woman from the Royal Guard looking at him." They dig me." He said. The woman just rolled her eyes and walked away.
Toshiro looked around and continued to notice the odd way the Zero Squad carried themselves. They were supposed to be the elite, the best of the best but here they were all jumping around and acting like a bunch of bumbling morons.
"What the hell is wrong with these people?" he questioned aloud.
Meanwhile in the Soul Palace. Yamamoto had finally arrived and was making his way around. It had been nearly 1,000 years since he last visited this place but he remembered it.
The only sound being made was the sound of his cane hitting the ground, but then he heard the sound of stepping in front of him. Yamamoto ascended the stairs and saw an old man standing there before him. The man must have been as old as himself with gray hair, a gray mustache, and a long scarf.
"Genryusai Yamamoto." The old man addressed him.
"Genrei Kuchiki." Yamamoto replied as he walked forward and shortened the distance between them. Once they were close enough he extended his hand, which the old Kuchiki shook." It's good to see again old, friend. It's been a long time."
"Indeed." Genrei turned and together the two began walking down the halls." But we are both busy with our different obligations." Along with Yamamoto Genrei founded the Gotei 13, but as centuries came and went Genrei eventually felt a higher calling and was asked to become the Commander in Chief of the Royal Guard. It discouraged Yamamoto deep down to see his oldest friend go but he did not despise him for it." How does my Grandson fair?"
"Your Grandson is a good man." Yamamoto answered." He is professional and follows orders, he is a suitable replacement for you." Genrei nodded.
"And what of the Gotei 13 overall?"
"We have been working, searching to find replacements for our vacant Captain's positions." Genrei nodded. But Yamamoto felt a strange sense about him." Why are you so curious?" Genrei stopped and stood before the Head-Captain." We need to talk." He said." All of us."
"All of us?" asked Yamamoto. He paused and slowly peaked behind Genrei to see a throne and someone sitting in it, although whomever it was covered themselves mostly in shadows. It knew it clearly as the Soul King and Yamamoto nodded to him, acknowledging him.
Meanwhile back in the Soul Society.
Toshiro arrived at the Squad Four barracks. He'd recently been trying to avoid his latest check-up due to his great fear of needles. But despite how hard he tried he could not escape Unohana, who immidetly following the meeting with the Royal Guard told him when she expected him at her office. Now he had no choice, he had to go to his appointment.
"Sit down." Said Unohana. Toshiro did as he was told and sat up on the table while Unohana turned her back to him." I don't know what you're so worked up about. It's just a little shot." Toshiro turned his head over to her just in time for her to hold up the biggest needles he'd ever seen, it looked half the size of himself. Toshiro shuffled in his seat.
"Unohana!" called a voice. Toshiro turned his head to the new voice while the fourth division Captain didn't appear to have heard it. A moment later the fat Royal Guard member Kirio Hikifune." Unohana do you have any-" But she stopped as she turned and noticed Toshiro sitting there.
"Oh Unohana." Commented Kirio as Toshiro sat before her."Look at this one, he's so cute!" She reached out and pinched his cheek with her big hand, Toshiro feeling as if his face was being ripped off."But he's all skin and bones. We've got to beef him up quick." Then seemingly out of nowhere Kirio pulled something out of her pocket and then began to shove it into Toshiro's mouth." Tasty, right?" she asked Toshiro as he choked on it.
But then Unohana walked up from behind Toshiro and slapped him on the back causing him to spit the food all over the floor.
"I don't think that will be necessary." Said Unohana with a smile to Kirio. Toshiro repositioned himself onto his seat rubbing his neck.
"Ah your right." Said Kirio. Then she fumbled around in her pockets again. Then she pulled out a handful of candy." Candy!" she exclaimed." All children love candy." Then she shoved the sugary treats into Toshiro's mouth, despite his coughing Kirio pushed harder. But then once again Unohana slapped Toshiro on the back and he spat the food out onto the floor once more.
"That won't be necessary." She said still smiling." He can't eat before his check-up."
"But Unohana he's all skin and bones, he needs to be feed." Said Kirio stepping up only a few inches before Unohana.
"And he will but not now." While they argued Toshiro casually grabbed his coat and put it back on.
"A boy that young should be nurtured." Said Kirio." Look at him." She turned and looked at Toshiro." He's still a baby-"
"Fuck off!" yelled Toshiro turning to her, and his outburst appeared to startle her.
"Why I never." She said in a huff as she headed for the door." In all my years-" And continued on her way outside. Toshiro watched her go with a scowl on her face, he then turned around to face Unohana. She was looking Toshiro over very curiously.
"She had that coming." Said Toshiro predicting what she'd say." I was in my right."
"Very good you got rid of her." Said Unohana turning her back to him." But you didn't have to use such foul language." She turned and gave Toshiro a disappointed 'you-know-what-you-did' look." Do you know what we used to do to children who used such foul language?" She turned away from him.
"Now wait a minute." Said Toshiro." She-" But before he could say anymore Unohana popped a bar of soap into his mouth. And he had to sit like that for the rest of his appointment.
Not too far off was Squad Six. And the women's association, right now consisting of the Lieutenants of Squad 10, 4, 8, and 13. Each was dressed in their swimsuits and after careful observation of their surroundings they quickly snuck in.
"I don't think this is a good idea." Said Isane at the rear of the group.
"Its' perfectly fine." Said Rukia.
"Captain Kuchiki never likes it when we come here." Replied Isane.
"My brother just puts on a show." Said Rukia." He never means any harm."
"AHA!" exclaimed Rangiku causing the rest of the group to look at her." There it is." They all looked around and saw her point to the large swimming pool in the Squad Six barracks." Last one in's a rotten egg!" Then without a moment's notice she jumped forward and into the pool, splashing water onto her the other members of her company.
Byakuya was much closer than they thought, at the front of the barracks. He was just outside his office with Kenpachi and he was trying to teach the Kenpachi how to play chess.
"Chess." He motioned to the board." A gentleman's game."
"Seems borin." Replied Kenpaci with his head resting in his hand.
"Allow me to explain the rules. The front pieces are called the pawns, they can move one space except on their first turn when they can move two. Then-" He continued explaining the rules but Kenpachi seemed less than interested as he dully listened on with his head to the side resting in his hand.
Little did Byakuya know that his pool was being put to good use as the four women had certainly gotten comfortable and were now enjoying themselves.
"Sorry." He said." But I couldn't help but hear the splashing." He undid his robe and let it fall to the ground, revealing himself to be wearing nothing but a man thong which clung to his body. The four women looked away and covered their eyes in disgust. The Zero Squad member walked over and slid into the water. And then if the situation couldn't possibly get any worse it did.
"What's going on here?" asked a cool but commanding voice from behind them. The four women turned around and saw Byakuya standing there with Kenpachi behind him. It was Byakuya who asked the question, having heard the splashing and commotion coming from nearby.
"Cool it boy." Said Tenjiro." Unwind yourself." He reached over and of all the girls he happened to grab it was Rukia." Grab a girl and relax." Byakuya then slowly turned his head around to look at Kenpachi. With a nod the Captain of Squad Eleven walked over, grabbed Tenjiro by his hair, lifted him up and out of the pool and then with one great swing threw him out and over the Squad Six wall.
"Good job brother." Said Rukia getting Byakuya's attention next. He slowly turned around to face her and her friends in his pool." You sure showed him, and you did it so casually you-"
"Get out." Byakuya ordered.
"Got it." Said Rukia. And nobody argued when Byakuya said 'Get out' the women gathered their things and left his barracks.
Meanwhile back in the Soul Palace. The Soul King, Genrei Kuchiki and Head-Captain Yamamoto all sat in a circle. Their conversation began with the usual introductions of how each of their others was fairing in their daily jobs but then shifted quickly to business. Yamamoto soon found himself under serious question from both other men about the Gotei 13's structure.
"So Genryusai." Began Genrei." How are your numbers, last I checked you were down four Captains."
"Four?" said the Soul King." Isn't that a little more than usual?"
"We were down four." Told Yamamoto." But recently have been able to fill three. Only one position remains open."
"If I'm not mistaken weren't three of your Captain's positions vacant for over a year?" asked the Soul King." Shouldn't it have been your priority to fill them immediately?"
"In the aftermath of one war we had to rebuild. Then before we had any chance to pick new officers another had begun."
"To strength security you should have picked Captains during that time." Told the Soul King.
"I'm Head of Security, not you!" Said Yamamoto." I decide when to strengthen my ranks!" The Soul King rattled in his chair, angered by Yamamoto's harshness. Genrei quickly jumped in.
"But surely you understand the magnitude of all this Genryusai?" he said.
"Captains come and go Genrei, you know that."
"But that is not all is it?" asked the Soul King. Yamamoto opened his eyes and turned to the King. There was an hidden meaning in what he just said.
"What are you saying?" he asked.
"You have served as Leader of the Soul Society your whole life Head-Captain. That life of war and fighting must be wearing your old body down by now." Yamamoto said nothing, yet." You've fought two recent wars, between your betrayers and your old rivals the Quincies."
"I didn't know the Soul King kept records of the Gotei 13 and its problems. I thought it hid away here in his castle." The Soul King rattled around in his thone.
"GENRYUSAI!" Genrei yelled, stopping him before he could say more." The Soul King is not mocking your pride nor your skill as a leader and warrior. But he does bring up a good point."
"And what might that be?"
"Perhaps it's time you thought of your successor." Said the Soul King." Young blood to take over after you retire." Yamamoto stood up quickly.
"This meeting is over." He announced. Then he turned on his heel and prepared to leave, but Genrei stood up and grabbed his arm stopping him.
"Genryusai." He said." I beg of you to hear the King out." Yamamoto nodded, respecting his friend's positioning and reason.
"Go, on." Yamamoto said to the Soul King.
"You've served the Gotei 13 long enough." He began." Founded it, fought for it, bleed for it. Your time has come and gone. Now Is the time for you to pass the torch."
"And what would I do afterwards?"
"Come here." Said the Soul King." You and Genrei could become my personal Guards. The rest of the Royal Guard can be disbanded and you two will take their place." Yamamoto turned and looked at Genrei. To be side by side with his old friend would truly be a good thing, but there was a problem with that.
"The reason I'm still Head-Captain is because I have found no suitable replacement. When that replacement comes along then I will step down, but it will be on my terms. And I would not leave the organization I founded and bleed for to be a lap-dog." Yamamoto turned away from the Soul King who was once again annoyed and to Genrei. He gave a respectful nod which Genrei returned.
Then Yamamoto turned and walked away, ready to make the journey back to the Soul Society.
And still the Captains couldn't get along with the Zero Squad.
Soifon was sitting up on the top of the roof to her barracks. She stayed there hoping no one would find her, but much to her disappointment somebody did.
"Hey!" called a voice from behind her. Soifon turned her head to see the new Fifth Squad Captain, Matsuri standing there." You're the Squad Two Captain right?" she asked.
"Who wants to know?" asked Soifon turning away from her.
"I'm Matsuri, I'm the new Fifth Squad Captain."
"I know who you are. If that's all you're here for, leave I'm busy."
"I just thought I'd come up and meet you." Matsuri walked over and sat down next to Soifon, much to the other woman's annoyance." I thought I'd go around and meet all the Captains personally."
"Well you've meet me, now go find someone else." Soifon pointed her off in another direction.
"Oh c'mon don't make me leave." Matsuri said with a smile." We're girls, and us girls gotta stick together." Soifon rolled her eyes." So tell me Captain Soifon what do you know about Captain Hit-"
"Greetings" Said another voice. Soifon and Matsuri both turned around to see the Zero Squad member Senjumaru Shutara, the woman with the eight artificial limbs standing there.
"Hello." Replied Matsuri while Soifon just looked away." Your one of the Royal Guard aren't you?"
"No, no." grumbled Soifon hoping Matsuri would hear." Don't engage her, don't engage her."
"Yes." Replied Senjumaru.
"Well come and have a seat." Said Matsuri." We were just having a little girl talk."
"No, no, no." grumbled Soifon" Don't let her sit down, don't let her sit down." Senjumaru walked over and her limbs and sat down between the two. "And she sits down." She groaned.
"So." Said Senjumaru stretching her limbs out so it seemed that the women were surrounded by them." What is it that you two do?"
"Well we're Captains. "answered Matsuri when she realized Soifon wouldn't." So we see the overall protection of the Soul Society."
"Yes." Senjumaru hissed." I remember doing that job. Had a lot of strange adventures doing my time here."
"Really?" asked Matsuri." Like what?"
"We don't wanna know." Said Soifon. But the story continued.
"I was a Captain here about 300 years ago. And during that time there was this criminal in the prison I would always visit." Matsuri listened on but Soifon slowly turned her head around with wide eyes." He was an odd little fellow with pale white skin and blue hair. And whenever I would visit I'm I would let myself into his cell and then I'd-"
"No!" exclaimed Soifon talking aloud for the first time." I don't want to hear this!"
"Let me finish." Said Senjumaru sitting Soifon down with two of her fake limbs, two others wrapped around Matsuri as well." Then I would-"
"NO! NO!" yelled Soifon swatting the limbs away." I'M OUT!" She stood up and jumped off the roof to escape the scene.
"Wait!" called Matsuri." Don't leave me with-"
"Now where was I." said Senjumaru sitting the newest Captain back down.
Meanwhile Ichibei had been with Shunsui and Ukitake all day at the Squad 13 barracks. He wanted to catch up so much with them, wanted to hear every little detail of what they've done in the past few hundred years. And needless to say the two were getting tired of him.
"But what about this Lieutenant of yours?" Ichibei asked to Shunsui. The Eighth Squad Captain rested his hand in his head, having been bored with answer this question for the hundredth time
"Well-" began Shunsui but was stopped as there was a loud knocking at the door.
"Come in!" called Ukitake. The door swung open and in walked Yamamoto."Head-Captain!"
"Oh thank God!" moaned Shunsui.
"Head-Captain." Said Ichibei standing up." I wasn't expecting you back so soon."
"Well I'm back." Said Yamamoto."So gather your group and get out."
"With pleasure." Said Kirio as she appeared in the courtyard with the rest of the Zero Squad." I've never been so insulted in all my life." She puffed herself up and strutted passed Yamamoto.
"Agreed." Added Tenjiro." This place is cramping my style." Yamamoto followed him as he left, then look to see the last two members of the Zero Squad leaving.
"Yama!" exclaimed Shunsui as he ran up and hugged Yamamoto." We're so happy to have you-"
"GET OFF YOU IDIOT!" yelled Yamamoto and Shunsui quickly released him.
"We're happy to have you back." Added Ukitake." If things had gone on much longer with the Zero Squad, things could have gotten chaotic here." At this time many of the other Captains and Lieutenants began to gather around.
"Indeed." Added Byakuya." What did the Soul King want with you anyway Head-Captain." Yamamoto turned and looked at Byakuya, recalling the very conversation he had with the man's grandfather.
"Nothing." He replied." Nothing important."