Chapter 14

Blow

Amanda was full. So full it was uncomfortable to move. The dessert had been the best part and Olivia was even kind enough to offer her the last cannoli. The bath had made a world of good, plust a delicious warm hearthy meal to top things off. She felt better in herself and more at ease. Thinking back to when she had literally broken down in front of the detective made her cringe and almost hate herself. It was embarrassing and she promised herself that it couldnt happen again. Over her dead body.

Her hair was now dry and she pulled it up in a loose bun with an elastic she found in her pocket. The pain in her chest and shoulder was still present but bearable. She watched as Liv kept herself busy in the kitchen by cleaning away the plates and empty take away containers. She felt so useless not being able to help but knew that Olivia wouldnt let her anyway.

The brunette was wiping down the kitchen counter and Amanda couldnt help but to let her eyes wander down along the detectives curvy but fit body. Amanda knew she liked women more than men in a sexual way. Women were more beautiful, more soft and warm and definutely better in bed because they always knew what she wanted. There was no denying that Olivia Benson was truly stunning. She was tall, dark, olived skin and curves in all the right places. She was also kind and caring by nature, Amanda thought. Being in the line of work that she is probably made her that way but not all of it. Amanda could tell that the detective was indeed a naturally compassionate woman who took interest in other people's well being.

Amanda snapped out of her buzz when she heard Olivia calling her name. "Sorry, what?"

Chuckling slightly at Amanda's perplexed expression, she spoke again. "I was just wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me? If you're not too tired." Olivia tilted her head in a questioning manner.

"Um, sure... yeah. What did you have in mind?" Amanda asked, secretly hoping that the detective was not a fan of romantic comedies since they were her least favourite.

"Im not fussy. Do you have a favourite genre?" Liv asked.

The blonde was relieved that she got to pick. "Anything but rom-coms. I hate them with a passion. They are all the same. Guy meets girl, they fall in love and guy marries girl, and they live happily ever after."

Liv chuckled at the blonde's personal thoughts about romantic movies. She was glad to see Amanda open up a bit and seeing her in a more relaxed state made the blonde look even more beautiful and, somehow, a bit mysterious too. "I promise you that there will be no romcoms in this house. Why dont you go and sit down on the sofa and I'll be there in a minute."

Dispite being so bloated and full Amanda made it to the couch and slowly sat down in the corner of the two seater. Liv showed up a few minutes later with two cups of steaming hot peppermint tea. "If your somach is as full as mine then you're gonna need a cup of this."

"Thank you, and yes, I'm about to explode." She took a small sip of the hot liquid. "Sorry if I pigged out. I always eat too much."

Laughing, Liv sat down, leaving only a couple of feet between the two, turned the tv on and flickered through all the movie channels. "Dont worry about it. Its good that you're eating, it will make you heal faster, and besides, I always liked a woman with a healthy appetite. Its endearing."

Amanda turned and looked at the brunette, blushing. "Good to know, detective."

They settled on a thriller/horror and about thirty minutes in, Amanda started to nod off, but not wanting Olivia to see how tired she was, she fought to keep her head upright and her eyes open.

Another ten minutes passed and Liv was slightly startled when she felt the weight of Amanda's body gently pressing into her side. Turning slightly she saw the blonde's head slowly dropping and Olivia swiftly lifted her right arm so Amanda's head would softly land on her upper chest. Gently the detective placed her arm around the younger woman, grabbed a blanked that hung close by on the armrest and covered her up. She was surprised that, while fiddling wih the blanket, the blonde hadnt woken up but was on the other hand very much asleep.

Liv couldnt help but to inhale the sweet scent of her own shampoo but also the smell that was typically Amanda's. She couldnt describe the smell, only that she liked it and found it somewhat calming and soothing.

It didnt take long before Liv's phone rang. Greatful that she had it just next to her she saw that it was her captain. She quickly turned it on silent mode, as to not wake Amanda, and slowly slid out from her comfortable position. Hearing an unsettling moan escaping the blonde's lips, Olivia gently ran her fingers down her cheek. "Shhhh, I'll be right back." She soothed.

While closing the door to her bedoom she answered the call. "Cap, whats up? I hope you have some good news for me." She spoke softly, almost whispering.

"We got a location where Kim might be at. I dont want to get yours or Amanda's hopes up but we're heading over there right now. Its in Chelsea and we've got the whole crew on this, top priority. As I said, dont get your hopes up. I'll call you as soon as I find something."

Liv closed her eyes and let out a breath she didnt realize she was holding. "Okay, thanks Cap. Be careful and watch your six. I'll have my phone close by." Liv sighed as she hung up. This was good news that could turn out to be a false alarm and a disappointment. She thought about the whole situation and finally decided not to tell Amanda until after the bust. She didnt want to give the blonde any false hope in case it didnt turn out well.

When she opened the door she saw that Amanda was awake with a worried expression on her face. Olivia gave her a small smile, trying to act as normal as she could and not let any emotion show as she sat back down on the sofa. Before she could speak up Amanda beat her to it. "What did your Captain say? Do they have anything new?"

Olivia looked into blue concerned desperate eyes and knew she couldnt lie. She must have hear their conversation through the paper thin wall. She took a breath and turned her body towards Amanda's. "Yes, that was my Captain. They um... they got a location where Kim might be at. Its in Chelsea and they're heading over there right now."

Amanda started to get up but Liv quickly grabbed her hands and gently pulled her back down. "There is nothing we can do but to wait until my Captain calls me again. Im sorry, sweetie, you were not ment to hear any of that conversation and thats my fault. I should've been more careful."

The blonde ripped her hands out of Olivia's firm hold and stood up. "Not ment to hear it! Its my sister we are talking about. I have every right to know whats going on." She started to leave and clutched at her chest as the pain ripped through her. "Im leaving. I'll find her myself." The anger and determination in her voice almost scared Olivia. She headed towards the front door, intending to leave, currently not aware that she was dressed in pyjamas and slippers.

Olivia rushed after her, placed a hand on the door handle, stopping the enraged blonde from doing anything erratic. "Amanda, honey, you..."

"DONT CALL ME THAT!" She suddenly shouted and tried to push Olivia away. "GET OUT OF MY WAY."

Liv didnt let her emotions show. Her stoic face simply held one expression, determination. "You are not going anywhere, Amanda. Its dark, its late and you're wearing PJs. If I let you go, I wouldnt be doing my job very well. Its not safe and you're hurt."

"So thats all I am to you? Your job? Just another victim for you to coddle over so you can feel better about yourself cause you're doing your job? Is that it? Well, fuck you, detective Benson. You cant keep me here against my will. Get the fuck out of my way!" Amanda gave her another shove but Olivia was stronger and refused to give in. "I said move, or I'll move you myself." It was a threat. A mean threat but Amanda didnt know what else to do. When the detective still remained in the same position, the blonde saw red. With all the strength she could muster she swung her arm and felt her fist connect with Olivia's jaw.

Liv was stunned. It had happened so quickly that she didnt have time to react or try to defend herself from the blow. Searing pain shot through the side of her face and she stumbled backwards slightly. Bringing her hand up to her jaw to assess her injury, she was relieved to find the bone intact but knew that she would have one hell of a bruise covering her chin and jaw.

She took one glance at Amanda, who looked just as stunned as herself. The blonde simply stood there, arms resting along her sides, chest heaving and tears forming. Liv knew that Amanda had acted out of desperation and couldnt fault her for it.

Ignoring her own pain she brought her hand out to touch Amanda's arm but was rejected when the blonde pulled away holding her hands up in shock not knowing what to do or what to say. She had just given a Manhattan SVU detective a decent punch to her face. What the hell was she thinking?

Amanda took a step back but was stopped by the wall behind her. What had she done? Why did she have to go and make things worse? Why was all this happening to her? Feeling her legs lose their power, she slowly slid down the wall in defeat. It was all so quiet, like the time stood still for a moment. The tears were flowing and, despite her hatred for crying, she didnt do anything to try and stop them from coming. It would be useless and pointless. She brought her knees up to her acheing chest to hide her tear stained face.

Sobs tore through the silence and ripped through Olivia's heart. Ignoring the fact that Amanda had refused her attempt of physical contact, just a few seconds ago, she now kneeled down in front of the distraught woman and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Its okay." She whispered. "Shhhh, its all gonna be okay, sweetie."

Amanda brought her head up and looked at Olivia with tears still falling from her eyes. "Im... Im so so sorry. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im..."

"Shhhh, sweetheart. Its okay, I know you didnt mean to and Im okay, really. I'll have one big bruise to show off but other than that Im perfectly fine, sweetie, I promise." Again Amanda let out an anguished cry and clung to Olivia for dear life as the sobs kept on coming, slicing through the air like a sharp knife.

"Its okay, honey. You're gonna be okay. Im right here and Im not leaving. You're not alone anymore, sweetie. You're not alone anymore."