Beca's p.o.v.
"AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION ! OH NO ! MAN HEY ! WOW NO !..." I'm in my car driving to school and Joan Jett is blasting through my windows. Rock always puts me in a good mood and I'm singing my head off, shaking my brown hair back and forth. Yeah, yeah, dancing while driving is dangerous... Whatev'z ! I'm happy today, like every other day for over a year. Well, not happy, motivated. See, there's this girl, her name's Chloe Beale, she is my best friend Emily's roommate at boarding school, and one of my classmates. Now don't get me wrong, she isn't mine. She is like, super straight. And anyway I'm not ready to let go of my first true love, Bridgit, but, I don't know, the idea of seing her, spending time with her first thing in the morning... It's just enough to give me the strenght to get up everyday. What can I say ? I like her. Very much... I mean, who wouldn't ? She is smart, so kind, sensitive, fun to be around, understanding, talented, not mentioning crazy beautiful and super-duper hot. She has those deep, big, round, baby blue eyes which reflected so many emotions, this long wavy, bright red hair, these barely visible freckles on her nose, those full, pink, kissable lips that when she smiles combines sexiness and adorableness, it's so freaking cute ! I know, I'm pretty hooked up... but nevermind, if I'm gonna do High School all over again, I'd better have some kind of motivation right ?
I'm parking in front of the school when I spot Chloe, stunning as always, smoking with Aubrey and Benji. I get out of the car and start walking towards them. When she sees me, she smiles wide and waves ; and when I finally reach them, she pulls me into a tight hug. I take in her sweet sent that makes my heartbeat go crazy and softly chuckle.
"Well I'm happy to see you as well Beale !" I say when she pulls away. She just giggles and pushes my shoulder lightly. "Hey guys !" I say to the others.
"Hey !" they reply together.
"So, you know saturday I'm turning 17 ?" I ask. Right... It's not even my really birthday... Well, keep the face.
"Yeah..." they all nod so I continue "well, my parents are leaving the house so I can throw a party so, y'all in ?" I ask them.
"Yay !" Benji jumps up and down like a giddy little boy.
"Yeah it sounds good." Aubrey agrees. She's always been a little uptight, so in the beginning I had a hard time getting along with her, but getting to know her, she's a really nice girl.
Chloe remains silent, looking down. "What about you Chlo' ?" I ask, hopeful. She sighs
"I don't know Reb'... I haven't seen my boyfriend in two weeks... Believe me, I'd love to but he's gonna get really mad..." she replies truthfully, with a voice full of regret.
"Douchebag..." I cough so they wouldn't hear. It's not jealousy okay ? Well, maybe a little, but not only. It's just that I don't even dare to try and recall how many times I comforted Chloe when she was crying because of the numerous fights HE triggered. He made her suffer and that... I just can't cope with. "Well suit yourself Chlo' !" I reply with a fake smile as I toss my cigarette on the sidewalk and walk to class.
Chloe's p.o.v.
Fuck ! I really want to go to Rebecca's party... But I'm tired of fighting with my boyfriend Dylan 24/7... I havn't seen him once in two weeks and if I tell him I can't see him this week end because I'm going to the birthday party of the girl who has feelings for me, he'd just lose his cool, big time. Oh right, I've known about Reb's feelings for a while now, I just havn't had the heart to tell her because I still really do care about her as a friend and, in the beginning, I was afraid it'd be awkward between us. Now, I'm afraid she'd be mad at me for letting her suffer and bottle it up for so long... So I just... Shut my mouth. I look at my watch and see that the bell is gonna ring in just a minute. "Oooh SHOOT !" I exclaim and look at Aubs and Benji. "Guys, I gotta go, it's about to ring, I got to get to history !" I wave at them and run off.
I get in just in time and the teacher is just about to start his lesson. I sit in my spot next to Emily.
"Hey girl !" she greets me.
"Hey Em, what's up?" I ask.
"Oh, nothing much... I just well you know, I like Benji and I have a feeling he likes me too but... if he does then why doesn't he make a move ?" she whines.
"Well wait until saturday ! Reb invited him to her birthday party !" I tell her and it seems to lighten her mood.
"Good ! Are you coming too ?" she asks me.
"I don't know, I don't think so... I haven't seen Dylan in two weeks, he's gonna be mad if I don't go to see him..." I answer.
"I'd say, ditch that jerk who makes you suffer and come celebrate your friend !" she replies matter of factly. I just chuckle.
"We'll see..".
Oh my God ! This class is so boring ! It's only been fifteen minutes and it feels like three hours...
I slowly turn my head to scan the class and I soon spot Rebecca, sleeping, her head turned in a way that, at his desk, the teacher couldn't see her. Smart girl... I smile to myself. She's so adorable... It reminds me of the first time I understood she loves me. It was last year, she had just transfered at the beginning of the year...
*Flashback*
"Yo Beale!" I heard a voice calling me as I was sitting alone on a bench in the middle of the court. One of our teacher was absent so we had a free period from 8am to 10am and so, except for other boarding school students who went inside to work, every one of my classmates were heading back home. After yet another fight with my boyfriend, I was crying, head in my hands, not wanting anyone to see me, so when somebody called my name, I didn't look up, hoping he or she would get the memo.
I thought it worked, but then, I felt a soothing hand on my trembling shoulder as I was quietly sobbing. I still didn't look up and slightly shrugged the hand away.
Obviously this person wasn't about to give up as I felt the bench flinch a little from the weight of someone else sitting beside me. Then the person spoke again. "Hey, Chloe, look at me." a girl said, gently brushing my hair with her fingers. Suddenly, I felt that I could trust this girl and I finally gave in and looked at her, only to see the most caring and compassionate eyes I'd ever seen. Rebecca gave me a small smile and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I shook my head no, still not breaking eye contact, sobbing harder. She didn't push it and I was grateful for that, she simply opened her arms and said "Come here.". As I did so, I put my face between her shoulder and her neck, she wrapped her arms around my back and whispered in my ear "There, let it out, it's okay. You can cry, no one's around beside me, and I won't judge...". Oddly enough, and even though I had only known her for not even a month, I felt safe, right there in her arms, I felt cared about, and with that, minute after minute, I started calming down.
After about ten minutes of sobbing, I pulled away and wiped my tears with the back of my hand, but I didn't wanna be alone, so I shyly asked "Reb, will you please stay with me for a while ?" "Sure thing, what do you wanna do ?" she replied and asked me. "Thanks ! Hum.. Music room ?" I offered. "Good idea !" she agreed and we headed towards it. As soon as we got there, Rebecca grabbed a guitare and started playing and singing Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. She was really good so I got my phone out and recorded it which made her smile. When she finished, she told me "You're free to keep that video, but please don't show it to anyone..." "Why not ?" I asked, confused "you have a beautiful voice !" I exclaimed. She smiled sweetly. "Why thank you, but I don't really like people knowing that..." "What about me ?" I wondered. "Well it's different, it was in the moment... So you promise ?" she nearly pleaded. "Alright, my turn then !" I shot up, ran to the piano and played Skyfall. I didn't sing though, because I can't compete with Adele. As I played, Reb went behind the piano and watched me. That's when I saw it. The love in her eyes. Even my boyfriend had never looked at me this way once. Although I never had a girl looking at me this way, it didn't really freak me out, it was more reassuring, in a way...
*Back to present*
"MISS BEALE !" I hear a voice screaming, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Huh.. Sorry ?" I ask, confused and lost.
"For the third time, are you with us ?" the teacher asks, obviously annoyed.
"Well I am now, that's for sure..." I answer, more to myself than to him but he hears it anyway and the heat rises to his face.
"Yeah well you're gonna catch up with the time you spaced out, in detention !" he informes me then turns around and spots Reb who has obviously not woken up while I was lost in my thoughts. The teacher groans and rushes over to her. "MISS HOLIDAY !" he screams, hitting her table quite hard with his fists. Rebecca jumps up, her eyes wide open, pushing her chair back, nearly falling off of it as she caught up to the wall.
"Yes sir !" she says when she realises where she is. I have to try really hard not to burst out laughing.
"Detention as well with miss Beale ! You two, I don't know what's gotten into you... I'll give you extra homework, we'll see in detention." Rebecca looks at me and glares at me when she sees me still laughing about her earlier stumbling. She mouthes a 'NOT FUNNY' which makes me laugh even more and she laughs along with me. Then she whisperes "Okay, maybe a little..."
*After School*
Beca's p.o.v.
I'm at the gates, smoking with Chloe and Aubrey, before Chloe and I go to detention.
"This sucks." I groan as Chloe nods.
"What sucks?" Aubrey, who isn't in our class asks.
"Well, Reb and I got caught zoning out and sleeping in history so we both got detention and extra homework, though we don't know what it'll be yet." Chloe explains as Aubrey's face fell.
"What ?! Chloe, you know you're gonna fail if you don't listen in class ! Plus you said we'd go to the mall this afternoon for my mother's birthday gift and - " Aubrey stopped mid-sentence to put her hands on her mouth and bending over a little.
"Bree… Take a deep breath, yeah, there you go, better ? " Chloe asks and Aubrey nods. « You know, I'm gonna catch up what I missed in class in detention, so I can't skip to go to the mall, I'm sorry… » She apologizes.
"I guess not..." Aubrey replies, disappointed. Just after that Aubrey leaves, and Chloe and I then head to the detention room where the history teacher is waiting for us.
"Finally, here you are ! So ! You catch up with the lesson I've done while you were asleep, and then, you'll have to present feminism throughout history in front of the class next friday, to introduce the next chapter, is that clear ?" He asks.
"Yes sir." we both answer.
"Alright, I'll leave you two, and be quiet." He tells us.
"Okay." I say, sitting down. Fuck but I've already graduated ! I really hate doing that all over again. Moreover, it really feels like nothing has changed...
*Flashback*
I was sitting in my history class, far left corner. This lesson was boring but I didn't care. The right sit of the front row was occupied by one of the most stunning girl I'd ever seen. But I had never talked to her though, since I only had one lesson with her and we were sitting on opposite sides of the class. Moreover, I didn't attend school on a regular basis because of my new job ! Yeah, I just turned 16 and seeing that I had been trained for most of my life, the FBI started to give me some missions. It was a family business that required me to be as discreet as possible when on a mission.
Anyway, I was watching her from afar, her long bright red hair falling wavily on her back ; she had dyed some strands of it in blue, highlighting her face and her eyes. I was day dreaming staring at her when she turned around and caught my eyes with her bright blue ones. I quickly looked down as I felt the heat rising to my cheeks, I pretended to clean my glasses with the hem of my shirt, my dark brown hair covering my stupidly blushing face. When I felt that the heat had left my face, I looked up again and she was still turned around. She smiled at me and I shyly smiled back. Man she had one dazzling smile ! Suddenly the bell rang and I got up. I decided to act mature and go introduce myself. Breath in... Breath out... She won't bite. I made my way towards her and extended my hand for her to shake. "Hey, my name's Beca." I said, trying to look confident but truely, my knees were barely keeping me up. "Hello ! I'm Dallas !" she answered, smiling warmly. "Nice to meet you." I told her. "Same here." she smiled again and I melted. Suddenly, some guy came over and put his arm around her shoulders. I frowned in discontent but tried to hide it. "Hey baby !" he said, pecking her lips. "Hey sweetie !" she then turned to face me. "Beca, this is my three years boyfriend Jesse. Jesse, this is my classmate Beca." she introduced us. I shook his hand and fake smiled, feeling my heart sinking at the sight of love as they stared in each other's eyes...
*End of flashback*
Three days later Jesse offered Dallas a promise ring. I wasn't a couple breaker, and I got that it was hopeless. I quickly dropped it and talked to Dallas from time to time, not so often. Soon Bridgit came along and I fell madly in love with her, but though Bridgit was my real first love, I'll always think of Dallas as my first crush.
As soon as the teacher leaves, Chloe comes sitting beside me, bringing me out of my thinking state.
"So, Lily gave me her notes, wanna copy it and be done with it ?" she asks.
"Yeah sure, thanks !" I smile back at her
"Aaah, what would you do without me ?" Chloe asks, a playful smirk on her face.
"Cocky much ?" I ask just as playfully.
"No, just realistic, let's get to it now !". We copy the lesson for about half an hour, and still have half an hour to kill. Then I get an idea.
"Hey, Chlo ?" she looks at me questioningly. "For the feminism thing, well I thought, since my birthday party is saturday night, you could always use it as an excuse to come and we'll work on it on sunday ?" she thinks about it for a minute.
"Well, yeah, I guess, but will I be the only one to sleep over ?" she asks, seeming a bit worried.
"No ! Of course not, almost everyone is staying the night." she seems to relax a bit.
"Okay then ! Rebecca, can I ask you a question ?" she asks after a little while.
"Anything." I answer.
"Do you have a... girlfriend or something ? 'Cause I heard a lot about you so..." she looks shy all of a sudden, and I start to stress out a little bit. She couldn't have heard about Bridgit, could she ?
"Hum.. What is it that you heard ?" I ask.
"Okay, frankly, I heard a lot of names lately, like Heather, Ashley, Austin, Kim, Charlie, Fiona... and, places too..." Shit. Fuck. Crap. This isn't Bridgit but it's not much better. She heard about that ?
"You heard about that ?" I voice my thoughts. "How ? When ? Where ?" I ask.
"Rebecca, you know, people talk... They see you as a cheap... player. I just wondered if that's true." she states. I feel hurt.
"Well you seem to know don't you ? Since 'people talk' !" I snap back, harshly. She looks sorry and slightly hurt. I regret saying that as soon as I see her hurting, but I don't apologize, I'm way too angry at 'people' for making me look this way to her. "Anyway, times up." I say grabbing my bag as I quickly take off.
I can take people judging me, but not her. Argh, what's to them anyway ?! Can't they just mind their own business ? For fuck's sake ! Am I wrong to think that people I sleep with and when and where I do it doesn't concern anyone else ?!
Just when I'm at my locker, my best friend Emily arrives.
"Hey !" she greets me warmly.
"Hi." I reply, cold.
"Oh... You okay ?" she asks, concern lacing her voice.
"No."
"You wanna talk about it ?"
"Not really no…"
"Come on, tell me what happened Beca !" I sigh and tell her what has just happened with Chloe.
"Beca, look, try to see things this way, Chloe could have just believed everyone and judge you without saying anything, but instead, she chose to ask you your side of the story, unlike everyone else..." Emily tries to reason with me.
"Yeah... you're right, and dumb me just screwed up, didn't I ?"
"Not necessarily... You know she's in my room at boarding school, I can still talk to her tonight, see if she's mad, and what she thinks."
"You'd do that ?!" I ask with a smile.
"Why of course sweetie !"
"Thanks Em, you're the best !" I say as I hug her.
"I know." she replies which makes me chuckle.
"Well I'd better head home... My mom'll worry." I tell her.
"Alright, see ya tomorrow ! I'll text ya if anything happens."
"Okay thanks again !" I say and off I go.
Chloe's p.o.v.
« And I just… I didn't mean to upset her, Bree, I just… I don't know what I was trying to do… » I trail off after explaining my fight with Rebecca.
« Oh, Chlo, I know you didn't mean to hurt her… You're the sweetest girl I've ever met, that's why you're my best friend baby… And, although it's no wonder that alt midget with her ear monstrosities has quite a temper, I mean, try to see things her way. She cares about you, very much so, and you know that. She was probably hurt that you of all people would think such things about her. » Bree tries to comfort me over the phone.
« But, I don't think that about her ! I just… I guess I was trying to let her know… What people said behind her back and I went about it the wrong way… Thing is I truly care about her too Bree ! Not the same way, sure, but I do and… what if she hates me now ? » I start panicking.
« Listen to me Chloe Beale, and listen very carefully. No one, in their right mind, could ever hate you. You're the most loveable person on this planet, and Rebecca knows that. Hell Rebecca is in love with you for God's sake. I doubt she's even mad at you, she's probably mad at herself and having the same conversation with Emily as we speak. Get your shit together, and talk to her tomorrow. Everything's gonna be fine. » Aubrey lectures me in the most endearing way possible and it's in these moments that I'm reminded how lucky I am to call her my best friend.
« You're right. Thank you Bree. I love you. » I tell her.
« I love you too sweetie. See you tomorrow. »