A/N: here is new one thnx to my beta that reminded me to stay on course. Here is some more about past, I finally got hold on Consequences so I've incorporated them into my story. Don't like lose ends, although it's hard to expect to have none of those
Spoilers: Consequences, Kaleidoscope, Sarah Pinoborough
Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian
"Yeah" said Jack with a crooked smile "I remember something similar we did it last night, didn't we, that is, before you savoured me in bed."
Ianto shook his head smiling. He appreciated Jack's ability to get everything back to bed, but he'd stick to talking. Just for the fun of it, because he wasn't mad anymore, Jack presented his case honestly and Ianto could see him freaking out and running away. So Ianto accepted the banter.
"Well, I couldn't help it" he said with a smile "I blame it all on the pheromones."
"Now I remember" Jack's smile widened "that was one of the first things you've liked about me."
"I would bottle you if I could" said Ianto and Jack narrowed his eyes "if I find a way to do that I would toss you aside in a heartbeat."
Jack laughed out loud and Ianto enjoyed the sound, feeling how the last knots of anxiety lost its grip on his chest.
"If we're talking" Jack got back to a serious tone "you could tell with more details how that thing with Tosh and Gwen went down, why did she back down, how she got elected."
"So it's just reports or sex" said Ianto flatly.
"You've made your choice" answered Jack simply "besides" he continued with a smile "there are reports, and I'll read them, because you've put them there for me, but I'm just curious, it must have been fun to watch Tosh in charge, what did that look like."
"It was fine actually" Ianto took a deep breath "that is until she got self-conscious that she was leading."
"How do you mean?" Jack took Ianto's hand in his.
"Well" Ianto stared in their joined hands "Tosh took charge while you were dead, after Abbadon, Owen was out, Gwen was sitting by you, and I was... well, she kept things moving, so she kept doing it after you left. It took them a while to recognize you weren't coming back, in that time she led the way. Gave orders, sorted things, approved the green house and other changes, we took down Mountholder, then that creature with the spiky skin, some strange looking algae."
"Algae?" Jack laughed.
"It was quite some problem in the water, but we sorted with a compound Owen made" Ianto smiled. "At least that didn't get sticky and messy, do you know how hard is to clean sticky tape from polish?"
"I'm sure it is" Jack squeezed his hand "and I'm sure you've done it perfectly. I am sorry I didn't make Gwen hold it out window whole way there, but I don't like a draft while driving."
"Apology accepted" Ianto shook his head. "Anyway, when they finally decided you weren't coming back..."
"I did come back" Jack interrupted him.
"...they decided they had to have an inauguration of a new leader." Ianto continued unfazed.
"Did they make it fancy? What was the procedure? I wish I had mine, it was so messy, not really a fond memory." Jack rambled.
"It was a mug" said Ianto flatly.
"Mug?" Jack was baffled.
"Your mug, to be precise. They decided your sign of power is your coffee mug, so they discussed who would get it."
"You're saying they took my mug?" Jack looked disturbed.
"Don't worry I got you a new one" Ianto patted Jack's knee.
"It looks the same" Jack frowned.
"Of course it does, I got the same one as before" Ianto shrugged his shoulders.
"I liked my mug" Jack whined.
"This is the fifth one" Ianto spelled it out. "What do you think; I magically restore them in one piece after you throw it off the table or into the wall?"
"Well I thought it was a mean piece of aliened tech that makes coffee taste divine." Jack defended himself.
"No, that's called a coffee maker" Ianto explained.
"Or Ianto Jones" Jack smiled and put his arm around Ianto's waist.
"Well they took your mug as sign of power, maybe because you always carry it around, and argued who should get it." Ianto continued, persistent to get on with the story.
"You" said Jack "you did buy it, wash it, fill it, and I wouldn't mind sharing it with you."
"They couldn't agree, because Tosh got all shy and hesitant when faced with official duty, luckily I found a document that stated that longest serving member should assume leadership, so that settled that."
"Really?" Jack backed away to look at Ianto. "You managed to produce that piece of paper just in the nick of time to save the day and make Tosh leader?"
"It was there, and I am familiar with my archives." Ianto shrugged his shoulders.
"Sure you are" Jack shook his head "but I am too, and there is more than one regulation of passing down the leading spot, you must have dug deep to find one so technical."
"Well" Ianto blushed under his gaze "she did do a good job, Owen and Gwen just argued all the time."
"I'm sure she did" Jack squeezed him closer. "So what went wrong?"
"It was just bad luck" Ianto sighed "just after that they went out and found piece of alien tech that was used in rehabilitating criminals on some distant place. It looked like kaleidoscope. You called it Rehabilitator in report we found."
"I know that" Jack straightened up. "You shouldn't touch that."
"We figured that out in time" he sighed, "but not before Owen and Gwen looked at Tosh through it."
"There is nothing wrong with her, nothing that should be fixed" Jack was confused.
"I think so too, but apparently Owen and Gwen don't" Ianto snorted.
"What did they do?" Jack was worried.
"Well they made Tosh sassy and rude." Ianto said with disdain.
"That must have been hot" Jack grinned.
"They thought it was good, I found it disturbing, luckily they looked at her just for a moment so that faded away, and she was her normal self soon enough."
"So what then, she was embarrassed by herself and gave up? It doesn't sound compromising." Jack tried to picture it.
"No, but she was less confident after that, probably feeling inadequate before them, they did state their opinion during that episode, I sure would feel bad if that happened to me" Ianto said simply.
"They wouldn't dare to change you" Jack rubbed his side "I would decapitate them."
"Anyway, then came that alien with glowing skin that locked onto Tosh during a chase and made her thoughts available for all to see, and she gave your mug to Gwen."
"She must have been mortified by that" Jack smiled sadly.
"No, I think she found it to be a fitting punishment, after all she did get to see all our thoughts" Ianto concluded.
"Not mine" Jack smiled "I have protection."
"Who could read you" Ianto shook his head and shivered, Jack felt that under his arm.
"You're cold" he jumped up.
"It is cold night" Ianto pointed out annoyed "and I wasn't planning in camping out on the water, I would dress for the occasion if I was."
"I have to have a blanket somewhere in here" Jack dug into cabinet. "I left it in on my last stake out, when that water creature was taking out fishermen. You didn't clean it up, I hope."
"I wouldn't dream of it" Ianto deadpanned "although it is in my job description to clean up after you."
"You made that job for yourself, so you don't get to complain" Jack said absently reaching for a blanket from the back. Something clunked on the deck when he dragged it out.
"Thermos bottle" Ianto picked it up with reclamation "I was looking for that everywhere."
"Well" Jack smiled opening the blanket "you've find it now, and I did rinse it after use so it won't stink like that last one you found in the back of SUV. See I listen when you whine" he covered Ianto's back and Ianto got lost for a second remembering when he did that the last time in the Hub's corridors when he was naked and shaken. He almost leaned forward and gave in to Jack's expecting eyes, but he turned towards the coast suddenly worried that they drifted too far, but city was still there. Looking at shore he recognised where they were, and that gave him idea.
"Drive us to the coast" he said to Jack.
"Oh, is our date over?" Jack whined. "I just started to have fun."
"It's not a date" Ianto corrected him "It's a stalling tactic, almost a hostage situation, and we talked about work, its cold, and we're surrounded by water, drifting."
"So you're gonna escape your captive by jumping ashore?" Jack inquired amused.
"No, but we have a thermos, that is clean thanks to my instructions about handling used kitchenware, and there is all night diner over there, if we find ladder I can go and fill this with coffee. Bad coffee, but still it will be hot."
"You're hot" Jack grinned "when you get all technical with me. But don't go to shore, you're going to jinx us, if we get too close the Rift will go mad, and we'll have to run, leaving this beautiful shelter to the waves."
"Poet, are you?" Ianto looked at him confused. "Don't be superstitious, I'll be back in nick of time, and if the Rift burps we'll be closer. If not, we can throw anchor somewhere so we don't get to open sea."
"You're planning on losing your senses Mr. Jones?" Jack's voice got deep and seductive.
"Oh, just drive Jack" Ianto snapped at him. "I need coffee."
"Yes sir" Jack started the engine. "And you don't get to call me superstitious; Mister that reads warnings from old outdated books that spooks us with damnation and demons." He ranted.
"That was one time" Ianto answered firmly "and you should know better, anything could be real, reflection of some threat or future, we can't turn a blind eye just because something is written on paper that got old, and in language that is outdated, our language must have been strange to you, especially hundred years ago."
"You're right there" Jack smiled as he navigated to reach the ladder.
"And technically that demon did appear" Ianto got his punch line when he grabbed the ladder.
"It wasn't a demon, it was alien" Jack argued behind him, and Ianto smiled.
"I did say technically" he answered and climbed up.
Advice: It would be safe to stop here and get some supplies of your own, coffee, blanket, cookie.