Chapter 23

Too Late

It was still dark when Olivia woke. The sound of her phone had interrupted her sleep by the vibrating noise against the hard wooden surface of the nightstand. She answered it quickly, seeing that it was her partner, so the sleeping blonde next to her wouldn't be disturbed.

"Elliot, what's up?" she said in a low and husky voice, slightly louder than a whisper.

"Liv..." he paused. "Why are you whispering?"

Rolling her eyes she swung her legs over the side of the bed, looking over at Amanda who began to stir. "Never mind. What's up?"

"We got a case. Meet me at mercy in half an hour?"

Liv rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stood up. "Um, yeah sure." she looked around the room for some clothes. "Is this related to out current case?" she found a pair of black trousers, a blouse and jacket to go over it.

"No, it's not. This is a five year old girl, found beaten and raped in an alley. Don't have a name yet."

Olivia's heart sank. These cases were always the hardest, not just for her personally but for the entire squad. She sighed and entered the bathroom. "Okay, I'll see you in thirty."

After finishing up in the bathroom she quickly got dressed and sat down next to Amanda. She took a minute to just let her eyes roam the pale features of the sleeping woman, that now looked peacefull and relaxed. She couldn't fight the urge to run her fingers down over a soft cheek. "Amanda?" she whispered gently, the blonde shifter slightly and let out a moan. "Shh, Amanda, it's just me. I've got a case and have to go to the hospital. Will you be okay here on your own?"

Blue eyes full of sleep popped open and met brown. The room was dark but she could make out that Liv was fully dressed and her tanned face hovering obove her, looking so beautiful even after only a few hours sleep. The sensation of Liv brushing her fingers over her cheek made her skin burn with desire and need. Ashamed of her thoughts, she quickly got her mind out of the gutter. "Um, yeah sure... I mean, of course, I'll be fine." she stated, feeling a bit apprehensive and wary, cursing herself for being so weak and pathetic.

Olivia didn't look convinced but had no other choice but to leave. Amanda was a grown woman after all and did not need supervision at all times. "Okay, you have all my numbers in case you need anything. I don't know what time I'll be back. Just make yourself at home, okay. Feel free to do and eat anything you want, I don't mind." The brunette made sure the covers were tightly wrapped around Amanda before she left.

Laying all alone in the king sized bed made her feel cold and somewhat lonely. Her mind went back to only a few hours ago and anger suddenly kicked in. She felt pathetic, vulnerable, disgusted and uncomfortable in herself. Her skin crawling and chest tightening at the thought of Olivia seeing her so weak and broken. But it was done now. She had seen it all and there was no way she could turn back the time and do things differently. She hated herself. She hated how she felt, how she had reacted earlier and hated what she had become.

Glancing over at the digital clock it showed 04.37. There was no way Amanda would be able to go back to sleep, she was way too worked up and anxious to relax. She got up, took care of her screaming bladder and put on the NYPD hoodie, that smelled like Olivia, and started her day by keeping herself busy with some very much needed deep cleaning.

Liv walked up to Elliot who was pacing back and forth in the waiting area. He looked tired, she thought, but then it was still very early in the morning. "Hi El, sorry I'm a few minutes late. What have we got? How is she?"

"She's in surgery." Elliot simply stated. "It doesn't look good, Liv." He's eyes were sad and dull. Having four children of his own cases like these were extremely hard on him, more so than any other one in the squad.

Taking a deep breath Liv shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat. "How long has she been in surgery?"

Her partner was just about to answer when the surgeon who had been working on the girl came through the doors. He walked straight up to the detectives, his face looking grim. "Detectives," he greeted them both woth a nod, "she's out of surgery. She had multiple lacerations to her body, bruising, burns and minor cuts. She also has extensive vaginal and anal tearing, some of her internal organs shut down during surgery but we managed to bring her back. Her condition is very serious. There's not much more we can do except wait. Her body is so small for such extensive blows and trauma, I don't know if she will make it. Im sorry."

Elliot clenched his jaw, trying to compose himself, when all he wanted to do was to find the bastard who did this and rip his balls off and shove them up his ass. Liv closed her eyes and sighed sadly. She knew all too well that this was not going to end good. "Have you got a name? Where's her parents? Did you contact them?"

The doctor shook his head. "We don't know. Could be a missing child. Nobody has rang and asked for her."

"Is she awake?" Elliot had now calmed down some but Olivia knew her partner and she also knew that, if he was left alone with the man who did this, he would give him such a beating that nobody would be able to identify him when he was finished.

"The anesthetic should wear off in about an hour or so. I'd suggest that only one of you go inside. She's been through a lot. I'll let you know if somebody asks for her and, if not, then it's in your hand to find out who she is."

Liv thanked him and turned to Elliot. "I know what you're thinking and what you're feeling. Why don't you go home and be with your kids. I'll stay." He shook his head and clenched his fists. "Go home. I'll tell the captain, he'll understand. Go." She literally had to push him towards the exit door and did not turn around until she knew he was gone. Sighing, she prepared herself mentally to go into the little girl's room, to sit by her side until she woke up. If she woke up.

Her tears were hard to control when she saw the girl connected to various wires, tubes and machines. Her little body was black and blue, dried blood in her light brown hair, making it stick together in clumps and large bruises, shaped like handprints, wrapped around her neck. Olivia didn't understand who could possibly do this to another human being, especially an innocent little girl who has her whole life ahead of her and barely old enough to have a bad thought.

Feeling a headache forming, she rubbed her temples as she sat down close to the big bed and just waited. She watched the tiny chest and stomach rise and fall with the help of the machine and how the beeping of the heart monitor kept up a steady pace. That's a good sign, she thought. A steady heart rate was good and there was a bigger chance of survival. Her eyes began to droop and within minutes she was asleep.

A noise woke her up. A strange raspy, kind of gurgling sound, that she could not identify. Opening her eyes it took her a few seconds before she became familiar with her surroundings. She then quickly turned her attention to where the girl was laying. To her surprise she found two large shining brown eyes looking back at her. Olivia gave her a warm smile, gently placed a warm hand on her small arm and rubbed her thumb across smooth skin.

"Hi sweetie. I know you're scared but you don't have to be, okay. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. My name is Olivia and I'm a police officer. Im here to help so I can put the person who did this to you in prison and he won't be able to hurt anybody else, honey." The raspy gurgling sound came back and she realized that the girl was trying to tell her something.

"It's okay, baby. You can't talk right now because of the tube in your mouth, it's only temporary, the doctors will take it out when you're feeling better, okay." The girl just looked at her with tired and lifeless eyes full of pain and sadness. All she wanted was to scoop the frail body into her arms and just hold her until she was fully healed. "It's gonna be okay, sweetie." she soothed, "You're gonna be okay."

A small shaky hand struggled to reach out and Olivia met her half way. Taking the cold tiny hand in hers, she scooted a bit closer to offer some kind of comfort. The brown eyes locked themselves with hers and so much was said in that moment, even though no words were spoken. Liv held onto the petite hand, tracing lacy patterns on bruised but soft skin as the little girl kept looking at her intensely. The brunette offered her a comforting smile and, as she did so, beeping noises echoes through the room and the little chest and the tiny stomach, that was moving up and down only seconds before, were now completely still.

Everything just stopped for a second. Even the detective's heart must have stopped because she could feel her blood going cold and her chest ache. What was happening? Before she knew it doctors and nurses ran up to the bed, pushing Olivia aside. The surgeon, that she had spoken to earlier appeared in front of her. "What happened?" he asked, expecting Liv to know the answer, when all the detective could do was to try and get her own breathing and heart rate back to normal. "I... I..." she stuttered, "I don't... I don't know. She... She came to and she looked at me and she... she just... she... I..."

A nurse gently escorted Olivia out of the room and closed the door and the blinds. Leaning up against the wall, with her hands on her knees, she tried to calm herself down. She didn't know how long she stood there for. It could have been an hour or it could've been just a few minuts, she didn't know. The door finally opened and the nurses and doctors, that previously had come running through the door, now slowly walked back out with empty faces and slumped postures.

Liv watched as every single one passed her until she was eventually faced with the surgeon once again. He didn't have to say anything. His blank eyes told her all she needed to hear. Placing a hand on the detective's upper arm, he gave it a squeeze before walking away.

She was left standing alone outside the little girl's room. The little girl who had been alive only minutes ago but was now dead. Dead, cold, lifeless, still, deceased, gone. So many words that had the same meaning, the same concept and the same reason behind it. This was not fair.

She knew she had to go to the station and start the papeworks. She also had to brief the captain and Elliot about the girl's death but somehow she couldn't find the energy to do so. Instead she found herself walking towards her car, deciding to go home, get a few hours of sleep if she could and then take the bull by it's horns. She just needed some time to collect herself, her thoughts and her emotions.

While she drove all she could see in front of her was two teary brown eyes looking back at her, pleading and asking her for help. Help that had arrived too late.