I had some serious writer's block on account of me not really liking this chapter very much, so I rewrote about half of it and now we will be moving forward! But do please read this version because it will effect the rest of the story. Thanks!

Chapter 12: Close to Death and Life

The day Draco returned from Hogwarts there was a thick wet snow. It was the very first of the year and it fell heavily, muffling all sounds outside and creating a stillness. It was the perfect cover for a private word. Lucius had been meaning to speak to his son privately, to try to learn something about him and maybe offer him some comfort.

They were very picturesque: the older man still tall, proud, and well dressed while the younger modeled him with a leaning toward more feminine distinctions. They stood still once they moved beyond the view of the house, listening to the silence that hushed everything.

Lucius searched his mind for something he could begin the conversation with. He knew Draco had always liked Severus very much and this year he was the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Has Severus–"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Lucius fiddled with his walking stick, his hands shaking. What could he say? He needed to reach across the void of his failures and some how touch this icy young thing next to him.

"We will get out of this, Draco," Lucius murmured to his son, placing a hand on his shoulder in a rare gesture of affection.

"I don't think I will, father."

Lucius started and looked at his son. "Why would you say such a thing?"

"It's a feeling I have," he shrugged. "That's all."

Lucius could not help but feel ashamed. It was not like his son to be so stoic, to admit the truth so openly, and here he was still trying to ignore his own conviction that he was going to die.

"Is there anything at all…I could do?"

Now Draco looked stunned, his father never asked for help, advice, or any other such thing. The first thing that came to Draco's mind was "stay away from her" but he kept that to himself. There was no point. His father could not avoid her; Draco could see that in the way Lucius looked at her.

Draco shook his head and Lucius dropped his arm, walking away for about three meters before stopping. His shoulders slumped forward and a hand came up to his eyes. Draco realized that his father was crying, and he did not know how to respond.

Lucius turned back to his son, tears running down his haggard cheeks. "We tried," he said in a pleading tone. "We tried to give you every advantage and yet…we were so wrong." The last bit was said in a low whisper. "I wish you knew how much… I wish I could make it up somehow…"

"But you do not need to," Draco interrupted taking a step forward. "I know all of this. I do."

Lucius nodded and pulled himself together. He wiped his face clean of emotion and looked evenly at Draco. "Someday, should you father a child, I hope you never face these decisions. Even your best efforts may not be enough."

"I understand."

Lucius ran a hand over his son's hair and held his face for a moment before taking his hand away. They resumed walking through the still falling snow, talking of other things.

"Move, slave," Mircea barked at Wormtail. He snapped awake and jumped to his feet; he was the only thing between Mircea and the cellar door where her interest lay.

The blonde girl, Xeno's child, had been captured and brought to the Manor. She had been in a terrible state. Mircea knew she had been taken from the train and it would seem she had put up a good fight if this was how she was punished.

Wormtail was in charge of the prisoners but Mircea had no qualms about moving him through whatever means necessary. But she was emotionally and physically weary and attempting to scare him away was much easier.

"You have no business here," Wormtail hissed back at her, barring her way.

"I have your master's ear and I own the lord of this manor." She pushed her face into his. "Try to tell me where I should be."

His lip curled but he unlocked the door and slunk away up the stairs. He was in the same position Mircea was – not favored but relied on – and he had no desire to test which of them would pull rank. He stopped at the top of the stairs and was clearly not going away any further, which was fine by her. She opened the door and moved into the cellars.

She had only been down here a few times since she moved here six months ago. The warrens and the storerooms were down here, but this main room was mostly bare rock. The girl sat with her head on her knees and the old man, the wandmaker, was saying something to her in a very low voice. He jumped when Mircea approached but the girl only looked up at her with steady, clear eyes.

Those eyes brought her last conversation with Lucius back to her very sharply. If there were no options but this, this life of torturing children and hiding in fear, she would kill herself. But she did not believe this was it.

"Stand, girl."

Luna stood and looked Mircea over. This witch could not have been any older than her father but she looked haggard and sick. It was a look many of the Death Eaters had, but something else glinted in her dark eyes.

Mircea circled the girl, looking her over for any permanent damage. It was obvious that Olivander had fixed her up, because her face was far less swollen even though it had only been a few days. But her shoulder was twisted and she held her arm very tenderly; it was dislocated at least.

"What are you doing?" Olivander began to protest, but a wand in his chest stopped him where he was.

"Silence, old man."

"Or what? You'll burn me like you burned my colleague?"

Luna caught the look in the witch's eye as she looked away from the wandmaker. It was unmistakably regretful.

"Leave her alone, Olivander," Luna said comfortingly.

When Mircea looked back it was with a mask clearly in place, but she met Luna's eyes.

"Drink this," Mircea ordered, pulling a potion from a magically deepened pocket.

"Why should she?" Olivander shouted. The spell hit him in the chest and he dropped to his knees, totally winded and no longer speaking.

"You are wiser. You have the good sense to listen, child," Mircea said to Luna.

Luna's hands shook as she drank what she had been given. It began to burn and she dropped to her knees beside the old man. There was a crack and a scream and then silence. Luna reached her arm out in front of her, wiggling fingers and joints that had previously been too swollen to use.

Mircea grabbed the potion bottle off the floor and turned to leave.

"After all this time you finally decide to take an interest in your prisoners?" the old man yelled after her.

Mircea stopped and called back over her shoulder, "We finally have one with the potential to be interesting."

Wormtail was waiting impatiently when she returned the keys to him. "So what did you want?"

"To make sure you hadn't damaged or neglected our bargaining piece. We cannot retrain the father if we maim the daughter."

In the cellars, Luna chided the wandmaker for his words.

"But why? She's a Death Eater!"

"A conflicted Death Eater. Something's going on..."

Mircea watched Lucius as she worked on some documents for the Ministry. He was slouching in an armchair and staring out the window of the study. He had been like this for hours. He and Draco walked the grounds on a more regular basis now but that wouldn't be for a while yet.

"Lucius?"

He turned toward her slowly, owlishly.

"When was the last time you…"

An eyebrow twitched. "Yes?"

"It's childish."

"Proceed."

"When was the last time you felt happy?"

He turned back to the window. "Better question would be when did I not wish I was dead."

"Lucius…"

"Don't take that tone with me," he snapped at her. "If I wanted to be dead, dead I would be. Keep your pity."

"It isn't pity. You know that."

He looked at her slowly. "And what is it?"

Mircea could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Sympathy."

He leaned back in his chair, clearly not intending to speak any more. Mircea watched him for a moment before a rather sneaky but ingenious idea entered her mind.

She aimed her wand at him and murmured something very quietly. The Cheering Charm hit him in the side of the head and a smile flickered across his face before dying. She frowned and sent another.

After the fifth, she realized she had rather overdone it a bit. He was a bit giddy now and it was pretty obvious.

Draco knocked and he fairly bounded over to the door.

"Hello, son!"

Draco slammed the door shut and glowered at Mircea. "What the hell?"

"He's miserable!" she exclaimed defensively.

"So you decided this was better?"

"But I feel great! What's the problem?" Lucius could not figure out why they looked so worried when he felt so light.

Draco and Mircea both ignored him, knowing their fight wasn't with him right now.

"I am simply trying –"

"I don't want anything to do with you and I wish my father felt the same way! You are putting us all in danger!"

This exclamation hit the room like a thunderclap. Mircea lips were pressed together so tightly they turned white and Draco looked like he could not believe the words had actually come out of him; they had been on the tip of his tongue for months. He was aware that she could kill him easily and it frightened him that she now knew how much this...relationshipish thing bothered him.

"But Draco…" Lucius cut in. Mircea's Cheering Charms were still controlling Lucius but he could feel the stormy shift in the room.

"Are you coming or are you staying, father? I'm going, with or without you." Draco moved to the door quickly, putting Lucius between himself and Mircea. Mircea watched him scurry with some satisfaction but she knew that sadly she would not be able to exact the kind of revenge she usually did on people who spoke to her in that way.

Lucius's eyes darted over to Mircea but she would not look at him. She was crumpling parchment in her fists, digging her nails into her palms. He wanted to stay with her but she looked as though she only intended to ignore him.

"I'm coming, Draco. Don't worry. All this anger for nothing. Come on now!"

Draco flew out of the room and Lucius followed with a bounce in his step. Mircea left quickly, holing herself up in her bedroom. She wanted to curl up and die, but only after she blew Draco into millions of pieces. There was no way this child should be so aware. Because if he knew, others knew and that was a danger they could not risk.

The Cheering Charm backfired still further however. It was well known that too many would backfire later on, resulting in depression or nightmares.

His screaming woke her. She slept the floor below him and the shouting was audible through the floorboards. The Dark Lord had been absent for some time or she would have feared for Lucius's life. She took off through the halls after throwing on some robes over her nightgown. It would look more natural for her to approach from her room in these circumstances.

When she reached the floor above, Mircea was dismayed to see Bella making attempts at opening Lucius's door. Mircea knew how to get in, but she could never use this in front of someone as intelligent as Bellatrix.

"What are you doing here?" Bella snapped at her.

"I'm below. Woke me up."

She seemed satisfied with the answer and continued work on the door. In the next moment it flew open and a spell hit the dark haired witch full in the face. She fell unconcious where she had stood. Mircea felt her heart stop as she stared down the length of Lucius's wand, which now pointed between her eyes.

From his eyes and movements it was clear he was "sleep-walking."

"Lucius..." Mircea breathed, holding her wand tightly. "It's me." No one could hear her talking like this but she had no idea what he had done to Bella and she did not want to fight him.

"You..." he growled, and her blood froze. "You did this!"

She managed to block the spell but the heat of it burned the skin on her arm. Her eyes flash and she hit him with a spell that knocked him off of his feet. He blasted back a spell that set a nearby vase on fire and her Jelly-Legs Jinx missed him. Part of her was surprised that no one else was showing up, but Draco had been taking sleeping potions and most of the Death Eaters were out at night now.

Finally, Mircea was able to subdue him. She Levitated a pot above him, dropping it on his head. He crumpled like a marrionette and she ran to him. Rolling him onto his back in the hallway, she brushed shards of pottery off of him. He wasn't dead which she had worried about for a moment. She conjured a stretcher under him and sent it to his room. Her next task was to get rid of Bellatrix in a way that would not send her after either of them in the future.

Mircea ducked down to the fireplaces in the dining room, Bella levitating behind her. She grabbed a handful of powder and the fire roared green when she threw it in.

"Spinner's End" she called and stepped in with Bella.

Severus looked less than pleased to see her and disinctly pissed to see Bella.

"There had better be a good reason-," he started.

"Lucius hit her with something but I don't know what. She'll kill him if she remembers it."

"You realize what you're asking me to do is rather complicated?" Severus said without any emotion.

"You know why I'm here and not trying to take care of this myself," she answered. "You're not an uninterested party."

Snape looked at Bella for a while. She had been dropped unceremoniously into a chair. She was breathing shallowly but he was fairly certain he could heal her. But doctoring her memory would be very risky, especially if she could even guess who had done it. But Mircea had brought her here to protect Lucius from punishment and she was counting on his past friendship with Lucius to motivate him.

"Very well. You will say nothing about this ever again, as it did not happen, and you will explain to me why you are so interested in helping Lucius."

"I must..."

The double meaning was obvious and Severus scoffed openly. "I knew this would happen. I even warned him. Well, now we're matched. Get out of here and for Merlin's sake keep him from getting killed."

Mircea was back in the dining room shortly thereafter and hurrying through the halls. She darted into her own room before silently Apparating into Lucius's rooms. He jumped when she walked out of the shadows but did not seem to be hostile any longer.

She held her hands up to show she meant him no harm. Lucius felt his head and saw blood on his fingertips.

"What happened?" he rasped. His head was thundering and Mircea was acting oddly.

"You were dreaming. Do you remember anything?"

He did but he was very hesitant to tell her what he remembered. He had dreamed that she was in danger, that she was to receive the Dementor's Kiss. He had been there and had been unable to save her. He had tried to fight through the crowds but they overpowered him and the Dementors had then come for him. The last thing he had dreamed was watching Mircea's soul be sucked from her body.

"It was about you..."

Lucius hardly dared to say the words but after a dream like that he longed more than ever to confess how he felt about her.

Mircea could tell whatever the dream had been it had been disturbing. He looked haunted. She sat beside him on the bed and smoothed the hair out of his eyes. His face was so haggard and so true. Their eyes met and she knew, looking into the steely depths of his eyes, that he did love her. In a moment of pure impulse, she closed the distance between their lips.

Lucius froze, unsure how or if he should react. But she pressed herself against him and so he held her close. It was the first time she had initiated something more, tipping the scales that balanced between disdain and affection. It was permission to adore her and confirmation that she adored him.

"Persephone..." he murmured her name and kissed her more deeply.

Mircea was going through a very different emotional process, however. She rejoiced in being able to openly show him how she felt, but now it was more risky than ever. She had bought Severus's help by indirectly telling him of her feelings for Lucius; she had something on him (which was the point) but he could easily turn her in and never suffer for it. Who would believe he had helped her in such a way as doctoring Bella's memory? Yet another person knew of their relationship and it only added to the mountain of danger that was piling on them.

She pushed him away roughly, which was very hard to do, and hurried off to a corner of the room. Lucius could see her shutting off from him and he was not surprised when she disappeared without a word. Hurt and frustrated beyond belief, but not surprised.

The very next evening there was a meeting. The Dark Lord was absent more often than he was present in the manor now which was a small blessing. It gave Mircea time to work out something she could suggest, something that might help with her position among the Death Eaters.

"The boy is likely to go looking for more information about Albus if he is on some sort of quest the old man left him. He would have to go to Bathilda, especially after Rita's recent publication."

"What are you suggesting, Mircea?"

The way he said her name made her shiver. "Could not your snake lay in wait for them? The boy is Parseltounge and would never sense the difference."

"Quite clever. But it is only a few days from Christmas."

"What better time to visit his childhood home? One he has not been to in many years."

"Very good… Pious seems to believe that a Christmas Ball at the Ministry is in order. Is this an idea generated by your department?"

Mircea could feel her face getting redder as she thought about what she had to say next.

"Yes, My Lord. Such plans carry on the past and set traditions for the future. It inspires a sense of forethought and longevity."

"You did not strike me as a frivolous witch, Mircea."

She remained silent. She wanted to scream that she was not but she bit her tongue.

"Very well. A Ball there shall be. Now, Severus…"

"Happy Christmas Eve, Persephone."

It was one of the first times that the pair had spoken since they had kissed. They both remembered it this time and it was almost palpable between them whenever they were alone. Lucius's eyes burned with desire and recklessness and Mircea could not hide her affections no matter how hard she tried.

"Happy Christmas Eve."

She turned to leave quickly but he grabbed her arm, pulling her close to him. She could smell his wonderful cologne and a reassuring absence of alcohol or tobacco. He placed his lips lightly against her ear, sending chills down her spine.

"I have something I must tell you."

"No, Lucius," she breathed. "Remember your son."

"Should I fail in this I will regret it until I am dead, and possibly long after."

But steps were heard coming towards them and Mircea tore herself away from him with a look of terror. She knew those steps by heart. She shoved Lucius roughly into a closet and stood alone in the hall.

Lucius could only see the Dark Lord by his cloak and pale skin through a very slight gap in the door. Goosebumps crawled across his skin at the tone Voldemort directed at Mircea.

"It did not work, witch! Your plans have failed me for the last time!"

"My Lord, if I could only remind you of the Ministry–"

But her words ended in a horrific scream and Lucius was trapped. He could not possibly go to her without worsening the situation, but there was no way for him to escape. So he watched through a crack in the door. He watched her fall, writhe, and bleed. He watched her beaten, cursed, and slashed. She screamed until her voice was gone. Only then was she given rest.

Voldemort stood over her body, breathing heavily. Her screaming had drawn some of the Death Eaters out of the corners of the Manor and they watched from the shadows. Lucius watched to see if she stirred and she did not; there was no sign of life to her at all.

"Leave this wreck for an elf to clean up. But she is to be in working order by tomorrow evening. We wouldn't want her to miss the festivities now would we?"

Lucius waited for a full five minutes after all the footsteps disappeared before he dove out of the closet. Mircea lay in a bundle of black tattered robes, raw skin, and blood. An occasional blood spray painted the stone walls. Voldemort had spared no punches with her and Lucius knew she was only alive because Voldemort had allowed her to live.

"Hizzy!"

The little elf appeared and gave a scream at the sight of Mircea.

"Hizzy!" he roared, shaking the little creature. "You must staunch her bleeding!"

Hizzy looked at the woman and a thousand thoughts raced through her mind. Master Lucius had always been very bad to her. And now these Death Eaters were even worse. He could command her but receiving clothes would be a relief with things they were now. But this woman was his love… like any domestics in any wealthy home, the house elves all knew.

Hizzy snapped her long fingers and the wounds shut.

"Find my son."

The little elf nodded and disappeared. Lucius scooped Mircea into his arms and began to stumble down the hallway with her. He was about half way to her rooms when Draco caught up with him. The boy let off a long list of profanities before helping his father carry her to her room. As soon as they reached the room though, Lucius was banished.

"Have some common sense will you!" Draco finally bellowed at him. "Right now your very presence endangers her! Can't you see that, or do you not care?"

So Lucius found himself alone in his rooms, fighting the urge to work his way through a bottle of anything he could lay hand to. They really may not survive. Mircea's good standing had been enough to bolster them but now she was falling out of favor, just as they all would eventually. They could keep saying they would wait for a better time, but they had no time. One of them could die the very next day and all they would have was regret. And Lucius Malfoy had enough regret to last a lifetime.

Mircea woke with a young version of the man she loved hanging over her.

"Lucius?"

"No. Me."

She could hardly think and she felt as though she had died.

"What happened to me?"

"You were punished for the failure of your plan to catch Potter. You are lucky to be alive."

"Lucky…" her voice cracked as she said the word and tears gathered in her eyes. "Oh, let me die!"

"No."

"And why not? You would lose no sleep over that."

"My father..." He handed her a huge potion. "Drink this."

She drank and began to run her hands over her skin moving toward her face and head.

Draco grabbed her hands and forced them down onto the bed. "Don't. Not yet."

"How bad…?"

"I'm doing my best. Just…don't look and don't touch. We have half a day, my healing, and my father's potions. I have to rest. I'll be back in two hours."

"Draco…thank you."

He nodded tersely at her and left.

"The Dark Lord wishes to see you, brother."

Lucius followed Bellatrix weakly. She's dead. She's died. The words filled every corner of his mind like dense smoke.

Voldemort was sitting the long dining room table and indicated Lucius was to sit at the other end of the table from him.

"Lucius, it would appear that I was misguided in my attempts to use Mircea. I thought her a capable witch but I was wrong. You are released from her guardianship. Should she survive, you will be her equal. Feel free to repay her in whatever manner you see fit."

"Th-th-thank you, my lord," he managed to stammer.

"Prepare yourself for the night. We must make a good presence."

Lucius nodded and hurried away. This was the best news he could have hoped for. They no longer had to pretend to be in competition with one another. While there was no doubt their romance would still be harshly punished this was a small ray of light in a very black night.