Summary: Non-canon, Drama/Romance, hopefully with some Action/Adventure thrown in. Bellarke, Linctavia and probably more once I get going. :D
Rated M – for adult themes.
Disclaimer: Just borrowing The 100, not for profit!
The Homestead
Chapter 11 – Clarke.
"I have some news," Marcus smiled broadly as he exited his room and joined Clarke's entourage in the corridor, the ensemble walking as one down the cold, dark passage.
There was a lightness and warmth in his voice that made Clarke stop and turn to him.
She waved her followers on.
"What is it?" she asked, curious.
Marcus' eyes glinted and he placed a hand on her upper arm.
"Jasper made a general broadcast this morning, and I thought you might like to know."
"Yes…" Clarke waited.
"Lincoln and Octavia are to be wed."
Clarke's mouth dropped open and her lips curled upwards. She blinked, closed her mouth and pursed her lips into an exuberant grin. She felt tears welling and grinned harder, stiffening her cheeks in order to stop the flow of emotion.
"Oh Marcus…" was all she could manage, and they hugged each other excitedly. "That's… I don't know… it's… I'm so happy for them."
Marcus laughed and put an arm around her shoulders and they almost skipped into breakfast together. It was the most cheerful Clarke had felt in months.
Despite her heavy schedule for the rest of the day, Clarke breezed through meeting after meeting. The clans even managed to reach a consensus on some of the constitutional points that had been in serious contest until recently. She was pleased with the progress.
Every now and again she caught herself daydreaming about the update from The Homestead. She didn't often get specific and personal news from the ranch. She was usually aware of the processes occurring and the general state of affairs – but this kind of information was precious. It helped her connect with her people.
Before she had become Commander, Clarke knew everything about her people, not her people as in Skaikru, but her people as in the remainder of the original 100. She could read them inside out and back to front. She knew them better than she knew herself.
Now, she felt so displaced. So removed from their lives, and even her own. Her friends, her family, were moving on, creating a new world for themselves and she felt left behind.
She should have been happy. She was happy. It was just…
It was moments like this that made her question her path. The choices she had made and the responsibility she had taken on board. She had, after all, been the one who had left her people, not the other way around. But had she really wanted all of this? Was there any hope of her having any other kind of life? Was she doomed to be alone and burdened by duty forever? Would she die without ever again feeling what she did when she was with him?
No matter how the thoughts started and the course they took, they always came back to Bellamy.
There was no sense in denying, she realised, that he was the key in her desire for something else, something better, something more.
She hadn't seen him since the solstice, but every day she thought about the promise he had made and wondered whether he was still willing to keep his word.
And every day, meeting after meeting, she worried that she wouldn't be able to keep hers.
His smile nearly drove her over the edge.
She wanted him back, wanted him pressed against her like he had been before they were so rudely interrupted.
But there were people milling out of the hall now, hanging on the veranda in the cool air, talking and laughing. Some made their way back to their quarters and others snuck off into the shadows, hand in hand as they had done only minutes ago.
When she looked up at him again, his face had changed. She knew this metamorphosis, had seen it many times during those first weeks and months on earth, and countless times since.
This was not the Bellamy who had just kissed her passionately pressed against the hall wall, nor was it the new Bellamy – the Bellamy who was at peace with himself and the world around him.
This was her Bellamy.
This was the Bellamy who had told her "who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things." It was the Bellamy who had not let her pull the lever in Mt Weather on her own and the Bellamy who had asked her to stay afterwards. This Bellamy had sacrificed himself to save his sworn enemy for the sake of peace, pleaded with Clarke not to agree to Roan's union and stood amongst the ashes of the burning homestead buildings and declared that they would rebuild.
This was the Bellamy that she had fallen in love with.
He took her arm and pulled her to the back of the hall, out of sight and earshot of the people gathering on the porch.
But all the resolve that he had shown seconds ago, disappeared from his features when he tried to speak.
She realised he didn't know what to say.
So she spoke instead.
"I feel like… like everything we wanted for our people is finally falling into place," he blinked his agreement. "In Polis, we're working on the constitution, and here… people are building a future where they're free to get on with their lives."
His eyes flicked back and forth over hers, hopeful.
"But there's still so much to be done Bellamy." He swallowed and narrowed his eyes into a squint. "And I don't think I can get on with my life… not just yet."
She hadn't really known what she was going to say but she knew it was the truth as soon as it came out. She couldn't just walk away now, not after everything they'd achieved. By the look on his face, she knew Bellamy knew it too.
But then she thought of his lips on hers and she wasn't so sure.
He must have seen a hint of hesitation in her eyes, because he suddenly stood up straight, laced his fingers through hers, clenched his jaw and spoke with gentle determination.
"If you're asking me to wait for you Clarke - I can do that." His eyes were full of promise. "I can wait as long as you need me to."
She stared at him with all she had left until he pulled her into his arms and held her close. Only then did she breathe again.
"Once the constitution is signed by the thirteen clans and The Homestead is ready for winter," she whispered into his ear "we'll come back to each other and we'll…" she faltered. "We'll see what this is."
He pulled away and then and looked at her with raised eyebrows and an all too familiar smirk.
"Oh… I know what this is, princess."
He was infuriatingly accurate.
A/N: I put this together in a rush, so hope there's not too many errors and it's all you hoped for. Trying to update as quickly as possible. Thanks for all your reviews/follows/faves/reads – keep 'em coming!