A/N: here I am, sadly a everything slowed down, but I'm pressing on. Here is some Toshiko we hadn't heard from her for far too long.
Spoiler alert: To the Last Man
Beta-ed by my dear beta TattoedLibrarian
Tosh went through her morning as usual, rushing to make it all in time. On her ordinary mornings she was like a clock, doing everything that was necessary, nothing more; this morning she made few things that were usually unnecessary so she had to cut it short. A look at her watch made her hurry up, she didn't want to be late, not today. She also didn't want to look crappy today either. It was something she did for Tommy, she looked her best. In beginning it was just because she was the one woman he would see and talk to, Suzie wasn't interested in talking; it was decent to look presentable for that talk. Later on she wanted to look good because she liked him; he was that kind of honest, simple guy you just wanted to like you. Surprisingly he did like her. She didn't give much in to it; after all he was a boy from her point of view, young and innocent. And that interaction was only one day a year for her. This was their fourth encounter. Before that there were others that were there when he woke up. Now it was her turn and she would make it as pleasant as possible for him before someone else took over. This morning she looked at herself in the mirror trying to establish just how much older she looked and wondered how it would look to him to watch her grow old daily, year at the time. It would be an interesting sight, but she was doubtful she would she enjoy it.
It was nothing really, that little flirt of theirs, he was just a guy like that, likable. The first time she woke him up and found out that he hadn't gone out in years since they froze him she was appalled. For him that was weeks, but still, it was unnecessary, so she took upon herself to take him out and show him around. That turned out to be fun more than anything, to see the world as it changed before his eyes. He always had things he'd like to see so she got out to see them too.
For all of those things this was the day she was looking forward to; a fun day in the company of a young gentleman. And it was just that, with prospect for more until that box opened and revealed its contents.
She wasn't happy with that. She always hoped that someone else would find out what horrible and sad destiny Torchwood had in stored for him, because it was always those kinds of destinies that Torchwood offered. When she found out his destiny she hated Torchwood and Jack, the world was such unforgiving place sometimes. Watching Tommy facing it with his inevitable end, trying to hide his fear behind his calm front made her cross the line. Maybe she was useless and powerless before the demands of time and space, and decisions of dead Torchwood leaders, but she was still a woman with something to offer and she wouldn't send a soldier to his death just so with deck of played cards.
"He's not our prisoner. He doesn't have to stay here. Does he?" She challenged Jack to fight her. She almost wished it because that way she could disobey him, but he just shrugged his shoulders and let them go.
In her apartment there was no space for pretending what this night was so they emerged in it sharing love and despair between her sheets. Later on he lay on her shoulder looking so small and she felt like she was betraying him, but that was the way things were. His destiny was already laid, and although she hated her role in his sentence, the universe just didn't care about that. Things that balanced against that cold and barren place was the fact that maybe her destiny was also already laid out for her with same amount of cold necessity. The only difference was that it lay in the future, not the past so she didn't know it. Maybe Jack knew. If he did, she didn't envy him of that knowledge. It was truly a burden to know things like that.
In the morning she was still mad, especially because Tommy was so defenceless, so genuine, and she had to sacrifice him to the past. In the end she did what was necessary, there was no other choice, everything would fall apart because of that. It broke her heart when she had to use their last carefree afternoon to convince him to press the button and save them all. What remained with her when everything passed was the thing that comforted her. He would be executed anyway in that horrible year in the past, but because he got to go all the way into the future it gave him a few extra days his executioners would never know about; days in which he was pierced with needles and asked same questions, but in which he talked, smiled, and was his peaceful self, untouched with horrors of war. And she had an opportunity to give him something in the end, and he took it. Because of that maybe it was worth it, they cheated death for a few more days. And in the end Tommy got to be the handsome brave hero he wanted to be, not the coward they said he was. Maybe Toshiko would get that chance in the end; she wouldn't mind it that way.