Chapter 140: What Heart Condition?

…

~~Day 133 (Command, Day 96)

~~We've been "invited" to Castle Island to get training for the upcoming ceremony. Which also doubled as a threat, pretty much how I'd expect anything Dad gets involved in. My guess is that it's gonna be simple parade training like they teach us any time we're on shore duty, although I don't really see why we have to go to Castle Island for it. Or why it would take one month.

~~We have the Gelto stowa—recruits set up to receive training once classes are organized. Probably one of the major issues is teaching them Hylian. I hope they do all right; they have to at least do better than Dholit. I've been assured by Dubbl that she is the only one that behaves like her.

…

~~Have I mentioned that I have a cute butt? I love my butt. I love many butts. I love Dholit's butt! Someone give me Dholit's butt!

~~"Oh, yes, My Captain! Command my butt!"

"Tolita?" Irleen asked as she woke. "Con kapòhu?"

"Wha's goin' on?" Link grumbled, pushing up from his bed. Upon perceiving Dholit rising from his desk, he immediately shouted with frightening clarity, "Dholit! Out!"

…

The Island Symphony arrived at Castle Island late the following morning. Link sent out Leynne to take care of missing supplies, things that the Island Symphony could not get due to the shortage caused by Skyrider Port's hosting of refugees. He also dispatched Line to look for the Grand Sails. Noon arrived and left before Line showed back up with two green-clad royal knights and half a dozen Skyrider airmen following him double-file. Link was standing at the port bulwark examining a shroud to see how they were holding up to Dubbl's rigging, and he stopped to watch the group file up the gangplank. It was a little strange to watch, considering that Line had fallen in-step with the group. He hustled over to the gangplank as Line moved aside to allow the group aboard.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain Link," one of the knights greeted him.

Link was amazed to realize that the knight heading the group was none other than Sir Gilliam. "Of course," he replied with a smile. "Always for you, Gil."

Gilliam stepped off the gangplank and gave a sharp gesture to the other knight and the airmen following him. Line had to step out of the way as they lined up along the bulwark and faced the opposite side of the ship. "You had me a little worried there, Link," Gilliam said. "I thought I'd have to send Al after you."

"Sorry," Link replied, scratching the back of his neck. "We were down on the surface for a whole month."

Gilliam raised one corner of his mouth in a humored grin. "That where you got that hat?" he asked, tapping said hat with a finger.

Link gave a chuckled and answered, "Yeah."

Gilliam took in a breath and let it out as a heavy sigh as he looked around at the weather deck. "North and Al told me that's where your crew came from, too. And that's a problem."

"I got your letter about the whole… training… thing," Link said. "I know my crew isn't exactly trained up to company standards, but I was hoping to take care of that soon."

Gilliam tilted his head and gave a hesitant sound. "Yeeeeeah, the royal family doesn't have that kinda time, Link. And, strictly, neither does your crew. You see, the king and queen expect to see more than a ragtag bunch of lunatics." He clenched his fist for emphasis as he continued, "They wanna see that you and your crew can at least be professional. Solid. Each member of your crew should look like they can be knights on their own, if only in appearance."

Link grimaced. "Uh… I-I'm not su—"

"Link, you've shown King Lauris two faces: your business face, and your stupid face. And he's gonna take it personally if the crew who saved the Princess of Hyrule don't make an effort to look good."

Link gulped and rubbed a hand over his throat. "H-how personally?"

"Probably worse than what you're thinking. Now I haven't met your screwballs, but Al tells me you got some that could use the discipline."

Link sighed. "Yeah, well…"

"Well, we don't have all day. We don't even have a month. We need to get your crew into shape as soon as we can, and that means teaching them everything they need to know in less than a month. So pipe up your crew."

Link sighed. "This is gonna be interesting; I've never had to do it before."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised," Gilliam said while Link signaled Line over with a finger.

"Line," Link said with a reserved sigh. "Rouse the crew and have them assemble on the main deck."

"I'm gonna haunt you if one of them kills me," Line replied as he jogged off. He waited until he was just about to descend into the cargo hold before calling out. "All hands on deck!"

"Boys," the other knight said to the blue-clad airmen next to him, "take over the engine room and send the crew up."

Assembling the crew was a slow process. The first to come up were Gold, Cale, and Lilly in a rush. Dubbl, Twali, and Lwamm were next, all three looking as if they had been woken by Line's shouting. Harley and Lidago followed, Harley having brought a plate from the galley with him. Finally, Lawrence and Helo came onto the deck with Helo carrying Sello over one shoulder. Dholit, Flower, Layna, and Biluf had made their way to the middle of the deck once the crew had started gathering. Line was the last to come up.

"Is this your whole crew?" Gilliam asked Link after Line had returned.

"All except my second-in-command," Link replied. "He went into town to take care of a few provisions we had trouble with before leaving the Port."

"Fair enough," Gillian replied. "Hang around; I might need you to help kick some ass."

Then Gilliam stood to his full height and bellowed out at Link's crew, "I DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED BEFORE ME! IS THIS A CREW OR A PARTY OF DRUNKEN IDIOTS?!"

"Li'l bi' o' both!" Lawrence hollered back.

Gilliam started stomping across the deck. "DID I ASK FOR AN ANSWER, MISTER?!"

Both Dubbl and Helo moved to stand in Gilliam's way. "You asked question," Dubbl argued. "He answe'd."

"YOUR CAPTAIN CALLED YOU TO ASSEMBLE!" Gilliam shouted in her face, his voice becoming noticeably deeper. "IS THIS HOW YOU ASSEMBLE?!"

Flower swore under his breath. "Guys, line up, line up," he urged in a quiet voice.

"HE MEANS 'LINE UP NOW'!" Gilliam shouted as the crew scrambled to form a single line across the deck. He gestured for Link to approach as he moved to the forward end of the line. "Captain, introductions, please."

"Sure," Link replied as he jogged across the deck. Gilliam squared up in front of Line while Link took up position next to Gilliam, much like he had seen Alfonzo do when introducing the crew to another captain. "Airman Line, one of my helmsman. He's been with the company as long as me."

"Where's your tunic?" Gilliam asked.

"Had to ditch it, sir," Line replied in a crisp tone, his eyes never deviating from Gilliam's chest. "Didn't get a new one yet, sir."

Gilliam wagged a finger at Line as he moved to the next person. "Glad he gets the idea."

"Airman Gold, my other helmsmen," Link said, indicating Gold with a hand. "Six years on a steamer ship before joining us."

"You enjoying yourself?" Gilliam asked Gold.

"Got a feelin' I ain't gonna soon, sir," Gold answered, mimicking Line's manner.

"Good man," Gilliam replied with a nod. Then he added as he moved on, "Like the accent."

"Airman Biluf," Link said. "Uh… she handles our… ammunition. She's also a deckhand."

"You got a big nose," Gilliam said into her face, causing her to flinch. "I'm gonna call you 'Honker'."

"Uh, Gil?" Link said, tapping Gilliam's arm. He pointed down the line at the other Gelto.

Gilliam looked down the line. Then he looked back at Link. "She does what again?"

"Handles ammunition," Link said. Then he added, "And explosives, occasionally."

"Fine," Gilliam said. He turned back to Biluf. "Your new name is 'Disaster'. Understood?"

"Uh, Gil?"

Gilliam turned to Link. "What now?" he asked in an annoyed tone.

"She, uh… she doesn't understand Hylian."

"Sh—wh—… How do you give her orders?"

"Dholit translates for me."

Gilliam turned back to Biluf and groaned. "She'll get used to it."

Link shrugged as they moved on. "Chief Cale, my supply clerk."

"You look like a smart boy," Gilliam told him.

"Th-thank you, saah," Cale replied with a shy smile.

"I hate smart boys!" Gilliam suddenly shouted at him, causing Cale to jump. "I bet I can break you over my knee. Your new name is 'Twig'."

"I-I-I—" Cale stammered as Gilliam continued.

"Airman Lawrence, one of the engine room staff," Link said.

"Wipe that stupid look off your face, Smiles, before I shove my foot through your head!" Gilliam hollered at him. Lawrence slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. "We'll get that taken care of soon."

"Airman Helo," Link said while Gilliam looked up at Helo.

"Hope you can hear me up there," Gilliam told Helo.

"Yes, boss," Helo replied.

Gilliam swatted one of Sello's boots. "What's with the dirty laundry?" he asked.

"Oh," both Helo and Link uttered while Helo carefully lowered Sello to the deck. Link continued as Helo planted Sello on his feet, "This is Chief Sello, my… engineer."

Gilliam waved a hand in front of Sello, who had a blank smile on his face. Then he blew in Sello's face. Sello tilted backwards and—BAM—slammed to the deck hard. "I think calling him 'unconscious' will be enough," Gilliam said as he moved to the next in line.

"Chief Dubbl," Link introduced. "She's in charge of the night shift and maintains the rigging."

"She looks miserable," Gilliam noted. "My job's getting done."

"Saythofan cals taf taynolan," Dubbl said in a low voice as Gilliam turned to continue.

"WHAT!?" Gilliam snapped, spinning to put his face directly in front of Dubbl. Dubbl recoiled and shielded her face with a hand as Gilliam continued, "WHAT DID YOU SAY, MISS!? TELL IT TO MY FACE! TELL IT TO MY FACE NOW!"

"Saythofan cals taf taynolan!" Dubbl shouted back, now pressing her face closer to Gilliam.

"I DON'T HEAR YOU!"

"SAYTHOFAN CALS TAF TAYNOLAN!"

"WHAT DOES THAT ME—" Pap! "Ohf!" Gilliam reeled after Dubbl had landed her right fist on his jaw. Gilliam slowly turned back to look at her, one hand on his chin as he moved his jaw around. Dubbl glared, raising a hand in anticipation of retaliation. "This one likes to punch," Gilliam observed.

Link was slack-jawed until he realized that Gilliam was talking to him. He cleared his throat, but his voice was still cracked as he replied, "Y-yeah, she, uh… she's punched my second before." He hesitated a moment before replying, "Twice, I think."

"Insubordination?" Gilliam asked.

"Uh… difference of opinion."

"Well, better get used to it, Punchy," Gilliam told her. "I'm gonna be doing it all month."

"Calfikw," Dubbl replied, crossing her arms.

Gilliam moved to stand in front of Flower. "You actually look like an airman."

"Twelve years, sir," Flower replied. "Airman Flower, sir."

"Airman… Flower," Gilliam repeated with disbelief in his voice. "Mister, did your parents hate you or something?"

"My parents are florists, sir."

Gilliam cast Link a confused look, to which Link replied with a shrug. "Think your parents got their signals messed up."

Link cleared his throat, unsure of how the next person in line was going to react to the situation. "This is Dholit," he said. "She, uh… she assists with the Gelto crew."

Gilliam leaned forward until their noses were almost touching. "You've got a grin that says you've got something to say," he told her.

Dholit nodded. Then she latched her hands onto Gilliam's head, pulled him just a little closer, and pressed her lips against his. "Dholit!" Link snapped. Flower turned his head in the opposite direction to avoid showing the grin on his face. The rest of the crew struggled to keep their lips a thin line.

Dholit then released Gilliam with a loud sound, and Gilliam stumbled backwards a step. Then he began shouting, "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MISS?!"

"It's how we Gilto say hello," Dholit replied in an innocent tone.

"No it's not!" Link argued.

Gilliam pointed a finger at her. "YOU DO THAT AGAIN, HOTLIPS, AND I'LL HAVE YOU LOCKED IN THE NEAREST WENCH PARLOR! YOU GOT THAT!?" Link and Flower looked at each other and mouthed "hot lips" in confusion.

"Yes, saah, Saah Sweettongue," Dholit replied with a salute.

"PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!" Gilliam snapped.

Link thought Gilliam's cheeks looked a little red, but he decided not to comment. Instead, he moved to the next person in line with Gilliam and said, "This is Layna. She's… uh, she's a deckhand, though she, uh…"

Gilliam gave Link a confused glance. Then he leaned forward, causing Layna to shrink back. "Are you afraid of me?" he asked her.

"Uh—she doesn't understand Hylian, either," Link quickly said.

"Are you afraid of me?" Gilliam said in a louder voice. He squared up and leaned closer. "Are you afraid of me?!" he shouted at her.

"Gil, don't—" Link tried to say.

"ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME!?"

Link caught the split-second shift between Layna's wide frightened eyes and her emotionless stare. He did not know how she managed to pull a needle from her black outfit when she was wearing her new clothes over it. He could only watch in horror as she stabbed the needle into the right side of Gilliam's neck while she pressed her other hand against the opposite side.

"LAYNA, NO!" Link and his Hylian deck crew shouted while the Gelto cried out, "LAYNA, NWOYROTAN!"

Gilliam, stunned, grabbed her wrists and attempted to pull her hands away. Then he collapsed to his knees. Layna only decided to release him just as he flopped sideways onto the deck. There was a moment of silence as everyone on-deck stared at Gilliam.

Then, once Link was sure Gilliam was still breathing, he turned to Gilliam's companion, who had moved to the port main mast to be in earshot of the introductions. "You wanna take over?" he asked in a flat tone.

"As long as you promise to sign for my hazard pay," the knight joked as he strode forward.