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A/N: Thanks to Becca Graymoor and MessyNachos as always for being so incredibly wonderful to me.

Also, I am overwhelmed with the love you guys are already giving. It makes me so happy :)

Chapter Three - Breakeven

"I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing

Just praying to a god that I don't believe in,

Cause I got time while she got freedom,

Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even."

-The Script

Being completely hungover on Sunday did not help make Monday any better. Lucky for me, since my behavior on Friday, everyone had decided to stay away from my general area. I was quite content sitting alone at my desk staring at my sketches and pretending to work.

"Hey, handsome," I heard a voice behind me. I took a deep breath through my nose and closed my eyes briefly.

"Hi, Kate," I sighed as the blond perched her perky ass on the edge of my desk.

"How's the new wing for the hospital coming?" She tapped her perfectly manicured nails on my desk. I grabbed her hand to stop the noise. "Careful," she whispered, "wouldn't want anyone to see, would we?" She smiled ruefully and I shook my head.

"That was two years ago, Kate… how is your fiancée by the way?" At that she yanked her hand from mine and stood up.

"Just fine, thank you," she huffed as she stalked off. I chuckled under my breath and went back to my thinking. Alice always called it my "Broody Moody" and it seemed I had been doing a lot of that lately. My mind went back to Kate and the two months we had been together; if you could call what we were being "together". Kate was the boss's daughter, which meant she was supposedly strictly off limits, but I'll be damned if she wasn't one hot piece. We'd been working on a project together one night a couple of years ago when one thing led to another and well… I don't look at the table in the break room the same way anymore. But Kate had been a fling, just like the rest of them. The secretary on the ninth floor of the office building, the only intern that lasted two weeks, three different coffee girls, and a couple of cashiers at the Gap. Needless to say my reputation at the office preceded me and I was fine with that. I'd rather people think I was an asshole than know the truth. I mean, if I was being honest I was totally an asshole. But I was also lonely and miserable. I didn't care for any of the girls I slept with; they were just there to fill the emptiness, only it never worked. There was an aching hole in my heart that would never be filled by anyone other than Bella.

~*~

I had three cups of coffee before I could even motivate myself to sharpen a pencil. Once I did, I still couldn't keep my mind focused. I couldn't imagine what Bella would want to talk to me about. Well, I could imagine a lot of things, though none of them eased my nerves. I had known the Swan family for nearly all my life so it was hard to even contemplate something horrible happening to any of them. Charlie Swan was probably the most honorable man I'd every met. He was real, true to his core with a lion's heart. I was proud to say he was like family to me. I always felt the same about Emmett, even though he tried to kill me the first time he found out about my and Bella's relationship. He was my best friend, the brother I never had. Emmett had joined the police department shortly after we graduated. Charlie had higher hopes, but it was Em's dream to be just like his dad. The only thoughts that ran through my mind were the many awful things that could have happened to the two of them on the job; I knew that crime in Forks wasn't high, but I couldn't keep my mind from working double time and thinking the worst. Emmett was like my brother, Charlie my father; I'm not sure what I would do if something were to happen to them. That was the only reason I could fathom that Bella would call me. Well, that and perhaps she had beat me to the moving on. Maybe she was getting married, having kids – I don't know, doing something without me that she needed me to know about. Maybe she thought I was still hanging on, or hoped, like I always have.

The thought of Bella with someone else (one that had consumed me so many, many times over the past five years) combined with my premonitions or Charlie or Emmett being harmed finally, finally pushed me over the edge.

"I have to go!" I yelled as I stood up from my desk. Larry gave me the stink-eye and I mentally flipped him off (I didn't want to get into any more trouble) before running off to Mr. Morgan's office. I burst in without knocking.

"Sir! I need two weeks off!" I said loudly. He raised an eyebrow at me and gave a pointed look across his desk. My head turned slowly and I saw a group of clients staring expectantly at me. I grinned sheepishly and backed out of the office. "Sorry," I whispered and he nodded his head.

"Just fill out a leave request, Cullen," he shook his head and went back to his meeting. I shut the door quietly behind me and went back to my desk to print out a leave request and fill it out. I used the current date as the starting time and gave myself two weeks. Two weeks to find out what Bella needed to tell me and to figure out how I was going to handle it. When I was finished I dropped it in the box outside of Mr. Morgan's office and sprinted to the elevator. I bounced on my heels as I waited for it to come to a stop. When it finally did I all but ran inside it. It was empty except for one person… Lindsey, the secretary from the ninth floor. Two weeks, great sex… was she the one I told I was joining the Peace Corps? Fuck me… I couldn't remember! She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, I haven't seen you smile like that in quite a while." She cocked an eyebrow at me and it made me uncomfortable. Did she know me that well? Was it more than two weeks? I should really pay more attention.

"Yeah?" I shrugged. "I don't know… excited, I guess," I flashed her a grin again and she rolled her eyes.

"So… they change your deployment date?" she asked and I tried to stop the surprised look that crossed my face.

"Right! Deployment! Exactly," I smiled and nodded, hoping she wouldn't see through the façade. She stared. It was creepy. I looked at the number and saw that were on the 5th floor now. Really? From the seventh to the fifth? It really felt like forever with this chick staring at me the whole time. We were silent the rest of the way. I wasn't about to try and explain my deployment to her… again. I jumped out of the elevator on the second floor, hoping to take the stairs to the garage and go home and pack. I burst through the door and was halfway down the first flight when I realized someone was following me. I turned abruptly and came face to face with Lindsey, who had apparently followed me out of the elevator.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I backed down the stairs.

"Well, I figured, if you aren't leaving yet, maybe you'd like to grab some dinner or a movie or some casual-no-strings-attached-sex while you were waiting?" she shrugged, following me down. I stopped and stared over her head thoughtfully.

"You have that little dog, right?" I said carefully, guarded.

"Yes!" she cried, her eyes lighting up. "He's just the cute-"

"I'm allergic!" I yelled and ran down the last flight of stairs, out the door, and to my car. I didn't look back. I had to pack. I was going to Washington.

So, there's a little more insight to our Edward. I hope you're enjoying so far! I threw in a little nod to How I Met Your Mother. I can't help it... I love Barney Stinson.

PS - If you want to read randomness from my not-so-exciting life you can follow me on Twitter: smashley613