Author's Note: Oh, would you look at that. Another update. Reinterpreted R-18 versions of beloved Disney characters? Check. Unresolved sexual tension? Check. Bad, bad humour? Oh yeah.
"Tonight," said Elsa, sitting up in her bunk, a determined expression on her face, "I refuse to go to the bar."
"That's fine, we can just go – "
"Correction, any bar. A dimly-lit place full of drink-filled containers." She paused. "And actual alcohol," she added as an afterthought.
Cindy made a face. "Spoilsport."
Anna mumbled something, her voice made inaudible by the massive shag that was her hair. Cindy recoiled and dived under the covers with a vague threat of anti-frizz oil.
Elsa looked up. "Didn't quite catch that," she said patiently, clearly very accustomed to Anna's morning appearance.
The redhead pushed back her mane and said, "I really hate to disappoint you Elsa, but... I've already made plans with a friend. Tonight."
"How many friends do you have here?"
"Quite a few. There was that bunch on exchange two semesters ago..."
"Give me a really, really good reason why I should acquiesce after everything you've put me through over the past few days – "
Anna pouted. "Please?" Cindy hid her smile in her pillow. Elsa groaned and slumped back down into her bed.
"... Fine. Just this once."
"You're the best, Elsa!" squealed the younger girl, hopping down from her bunk, catching her foot in the bedsheets, and executing an elegant flip which Elsa had the foresight – or to be precise, years of experience dealing with Anna – to dodge. "I'm okay," she muttered from the floor, and the blonde sighed.
"What have I just gotten myself into?"
Cindy caught her eye and mouthed, you softy, yelping almost immediately after as a pillow caught her straight in the face.
"So. Who are we meeting tonight?" asked Cindy, considerably more cheerful than Elsa was to be spending her evening in the bar.
"Al, last name unknown," said Anna. "I got to know him when he was on exchange at our university last semester; bit of a long story, that."
Elsa blinked. "Al? We're meeting Al? What's he doing here? More importantly, why didn't you tell me it was Al?"
"You'd bolt if I said it was Al from the beginning, Elsa, don't say you won't. And the same as us, enjoying his summer holidays. I was in a group chat with a bunch of our friends when he mentioned he was in Corona as well, and so we arranged to meet up – Al!"
A grinning young man sauntered over to them, hugging Anna warmly and shaking Elsa's and Cindy's hands. "Anna! Elsa! It's been a while. And who's this lovely lady?"
"Cindy Tremaine," she said, winking at him. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Oh, the pleasure's all mine," he said, returning the wink.
"Does the Al stand for Alfred?" asked Cindy cheekily.
He raised an eyebrow. "You must have slept through all your International Studies classes if you think a brown dude named Al is really named Alfred."
"It could happen."
"No way. I'd pick a cooler name than Alfred. It sounds like a horribly English name. Like, pip-pip, and tally-ho, I say, what?" His affected English accent was horrible, and they all burst into laughter.
"You haven't changed a bit," said Anna, punching his shoulder playfully. "I presume you're still shoplifting then?"
Al rolled his eyes, clutching his chest dramatically. "Anna, you wound me! I do not shoplift; I merely re-appropriate goods directly without a need for monetary intervention."
"Yeah, you totally do. You should have majored in drama and not criminal psychology – which, by the way, is completely ironic given your hobbies."
"Hey, a man can't live on a scholarship alone," he shrugged. "Do you know how much textbooks and tuition costs these days? Now that's criminal."
"So how did you meet Al, Anna?" asked Cindy. She hadn't taken her eyes off Al the entire time. "You said it was a long story."
"This exchange student jerk took my Twinkie," huffed Anna. "I was just about to grab it from the counter when he swiped it, winked at me, and disappeared."
"Hey, I was hungry, and you were too slow. Fair's fair."
"Okay, maybe; but you didn't have to unwrap it and eat it in front of me!"
"You forgot my miming fellatio on it as well."
"There are ladies present, jerkwad."
They all laughed, except Elsa, who was still wearing her best disapproving Catholic nun expression. "I didn't hear that particular story."
"Well..."
"My apologies, milady," grinned Al. "Let me make it up to you with a drink."
"I've had enough to drink recently, thanks."
Anna perked up. "I'll take hers, then – "
"– and Anna's also drunk too much, I think," interjected Elsa, shooting a look at Anna, who returned it with a pout. "Who died and made you queen of me, Elsa?" she grumbled, making an attempt at snatching at the bottle Al was holding, only to be blocked by the blonde's hand. "I can decide my own alcohol intake, thanks very much."
"Someone has to take responsibility, since clearly you're lacking in that department." She deftly blocked a few more swipes from Anna. "Also, I might not want to spend tonight making sure you drink enough water, just like I've been spending the last few nights."
"You forget that other night when you got wasted," shot back Anna.
Al put the bottle down, watching them bicker, a look of amusement on his face. Cindy scooted closer to him. "Did they do that often?" she muttered.
"Oh yeah. All the time. I guess they're still not together yet?" he replied in the same low tones.
"You're looking at the inhabitants of Denial, population 2."
"Aptly put." He raised his voice. "Ladies, there's plenty of beer to go round. And I would be happy to keep you hydrated, Anna, if Elsa wants a break." His friendly gesture was somewhat marred by a hipthrust and a exaggerated grin.
"Leave off, Aladdin," growled Elsa. Anna took advantage of her friend's distraction to take the bottle. "H-hey!"
"Ooh, no more nicknames then? The Snow Queen's getting serious."
Cindy leaned in. "Snow Queen, eh? Now that you mention it, I haven't heard the explanation for this one yet."
"Oooh, it's another long story." Anna, mood significantly improved by the alcohol, leaned forward – only to be intercepted by a hand clamping itself over her mouth.
Elsa groaned. "Anna, don't you dare tell them."
"Anna, I'll buy you a round," said Al immediately.
"Anna."
"Two rounds."
"Anna Iversen. You wouldn't dare."
"Three."
The redhead giggled.
"Oh, what the hell. I'll chip in a round on top of Al's three," said Cindy. Elsa shot her a filthy look. Traitor. The other girl blinked, all wide-eyed innocence.
"Sold!" crowed Anna, banging her empty bottle on the table like a auctioneer. Elsa buried her face in her hands.
Al shoved the bottle in front of her. "Spill."
"She's called the Snow Queen," said the redhead, her words a little slurred already, "because she's never dated anyone in her life."
"No."
"Yes. Not for lack of looks, mind you! She's frozen out pretty much every guy – and a couple of girls – who dared to try their luck. Like, brr."
Al leaned over, chin in his hand. "I wonder why," he drawled.
Cindy mimicked the gesture, throwing him a salacious wink. "It's a complete mystery." Both shot wide-eyed looks of innocence at Elsa, who peeked through her fingers at them, her face cherry-red, temporarily at a loss for words.
"I knowww!" crowed Anna, oblivious to her friends' antics. "She won't even give them a second glance. None of the girls neither. Which is a pity, because they were all really hot. I guess she just isn't interested in dating."
"... Anna, you do realise that Elsa's sitting next to you, yes?"
She hiccoughed. "Of course I do. But I'm just saying. She's totally beautifuller. Like beautiful, only more, but not fuller. I mean, I wish I could stay that skinny. And she's sweet and does all these cute things. She's so hot."
"I agree," said Al sweetly, amidst spluttered choking sounds emanating from Elsa's direction. "I'd so tap that if I was straight. Whole new world and all."
"S'that the song from the Disney movie?" Anna took a sip from the glass Cindy put in front of her. "I'd like to take a ride on her magic carpet."
Simultaneously, the sounds of coughing, spitting, and gagging filled the air. Anna turned wide eyes on them.
"Did I say something?"
"You might have," gasped Al, thumping his chest. When the colour came back to his face, though, he smirked. "Though I'm not surprised, you carpet muncher."
"Carpet what?"
"You don't know?"
"What don't I know?" Anna looked honestly confused.
He raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm not about to burst that particular bubble," he said, glancing at Elsa and adding, "Care to do the honours, Elsa?"
She spluttered. "Wait, what?"
"You. Best friend." He pointed at Anna. "Anna. Best friend." Al waved his hands about. "Knowledge."
"Ass," giggled the redhead, giving him a hard shove.
"Not ass. Think of me as the... genie. Granting wishes. Making dreams come true."
"Oh, really?" drawled Cindy. "So where were you when my stepsisters stopped me from going to the ball?"
"I know that story. That would be a fairy godmother you need, milady, not a genie."
"Anybody with magic would be handy." Cindy took a sip of her drink. "Or come to think of it, anybody with a car, a platinum credit card, and wire clippers."
"Juvenile delinquent much?"
"Apart from breaking out of the house to attend my senior prom after my crazy-ass stepmother locked me in my room? Not really."
Anna held up her hands. "Okay. Back up, people. I'm confused."
"You're also drunk," noted Elsa.
"Besides that." She paused and hiccoughed. "I don't understand what fairy godmothers and proms have to do with magic carpets."
Al leaned in conspiratorially. "Actually, it's part of a huge government cover up..."
"Stop that," growled Elsa, reaching over to swat the back of his head.
"Such a protective girlfriend," he teased her, rubbing the injury. Elsa turned pink.
"Al, you know that we're not – "
"Of course," he said sotto voce, nudging a grinning Cindy. Elsa narrowed her eyes at the both of them.
Meanwhile, Anna swiped all their drinks while their attention was occupied elsewhere.