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Chapter 8 – Back to the Future

BPOV

I drove home from Port Angeles that night feeling… relieved. I knew Edward well enough to know that he was angry. I mean, hell, who wouldn't be? But he also seemed happy and genuinely excited about Masen, meeting him and getting to know him. For that I was grateful. Though I was relieved, I was also nervous. I hadn't told Edward about our son for many reasons. Some were selfish, that I would admit. I was furious at him for leaving, for saying the words he did in the forest on Christmas Day five years ago. But more than that, I knew how much talent he had and I wanted him to live his dreams. And even more than that… I loved my son.

Having Masen turned my life in a complete 180. Before I had him I was focused on so many different things: finishing school, my dad and brother, and Edward. Everything changed when I found out I was pregnant. I finished my last semester at school and walked across the stage to get my college diploma six months along. After graduation I moved back to Forks and into my childhood home with my brother.

My Dad and stepmother, Sue, had just purchased a home by the river and Dad's retirement was fast approaching. Emmett, Dad, and Sue amazed me with their devotion and support with Masen. Dad and Sue were even in the delivery room with me, though Emmett thoroughly refused to be "within fifty feet of afterbirth". Masen came out screaming on August 13th, 2004, three weeks early. He weighed just over six pounds and had a mess of auburn hair. My dad cried for an hour after he was born.

I smiled at the memory as I walked up the steps to my house; the faint blue light coming from the living room telling me Emmett was still awake.

"Hey," I called quietly as I hung up my jacket and bag.

"How'd it go?" he asked as I joined him on the couch. He was already in his pajamas, ready for bed. I glanced at the clock, it was nearly 11 o'clock.

"Okay," I grabbed the afghan from the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. "He's um… he's coming over Friday." I told him, my voice small.

"Good," my brother replied and shoved himself off the couch.

"You don't think it's a bad idea?" I asked, maybe hoping for him to say it was. To say that Masen was better off, that we were all better off.

"No, Iz. It's the right thing to do," he kissed my forehead and headed for the stairs. "I told the weasel I'd take him to school in my car tomorrow," he said as he shrugged into his jacket.

"You'll be late for work, Em," I protested but he waved his hand dismissively at me.

"I promised the kid. Besides, I'm the Chief," he smiled and I sighed.

I listened to him walk up the stairs and get ready for bed as I settled deeper into the couch, turning on and old black and white movie, not caring that I had to be up early to face my class of 15- and 16-year-old Honors English students. I paid little attention to the movie, my mind more focused on the conversation Edward and I had at the bar and the reaction he had to pictures I'd shown him. It was nearly and hour later when soft footprints on the stairs startled me out of my own head.

"Mama?" Masen's sleepy voice came from the bottom stairs.

"Hey baby," I smiled when he entered the living, then groaned inwardly seeing him in only a pair of SpongeBob boxers. He insisted on doing everything Emmett did, including dressing like him.

"Where were you?" he asked through a yawn as he crawled onto the couch and into my lap. I wrapped the afghan around him as he snuggled closer to me.

"I had to talk to an old friend," I kissed the top of his head and held him tightly.

"I missed you," he muttered and I smiled into his messy hair.

"I missed you more," I whispered.

"I missed you most!" He giggled and looked up at me, his green eyes shining.

"You win." I grinned and he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck.

"I love you, Mama," he whispered.

"I love you too, baby," I told him, "more than anything." And I did.

~*~

EPOV

I looked at myself in the mirror for what felt like the millionth time on Friday afternoon. My hair, though it was shorter than it had ever been, was hopeless, my shirt all wrong, everything was fucking wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I groaned and fell backwards onto the bed. What did it matter what I looked like? It's not like I was going out on a date, I was meeting my son for the first time.

My son. The words did weird things to my insides, made me feel topsy-turvy and giddy at the same time. I jumped off the bed and grabbed a jacket. I was tired of wasting time.

I half-ran to my rental car and jumped in. Fucking Volvo. It was the exact make and model of the one Alice and I shared in high school, same color, too. Alice always hated the fact that Dad wouldn't buy her the Porsche she wanted. But he insisted it wasn't practical and after she gave him the silent treatment for two weeks he let her pick our family summer vacation spot. Fucking Disney World. I still gave her crap for that.

The drive was quiet; there were not many cars on the highway for a Friday afternoon. I used to fly down the road coming to or going from Forks, comforted by the fact that the Chief of Police was a family friend, a second father. I don't know how many deputies I had passed in my life and waved myself out of a speeding ticket.

So I was nothing if not surprised when I heard the sirens and saw the blue lights flashing behind me. I pulled over and put the car in park, reaching for the registration from the glove compartment. There was a sharp tap on the glass and I jumped, before I could turn to roll the window down my door was being opened and I was being hauled out of the driver's seat. I somehow managed to unbuckle my seatbelt as I was being dragged out and then slammed against the side of the car.

"What the fuck?!" I cried when I finally glimpsed my assailant. Standing a good four inches taller than me was a very scary looking Chief of Police. "Emmett?!"

"Listen, Cullen," he shoved me roughly. "My sister and that kid… they don't need you to come fucking up their lives, you understand me?"

"Isn't this police brutality?" I rolled my eyes and he pushed me again.

"Don't fuck with me, Edward," he growled, his voice low, his face close to mine, "or them. I mean it."

"I don't plan on it, Chief," I replied, perhaps a little bitchier than I intended, but his forearm to my throat was a bit uncomfortable. He shoved away from me and looked at me for a long moment.

"Fine." He spat the word. "But I'm watching every fucking move you make. Got it?"

"Got it." I rubbed my neck and glared at him. He turned and stomped back to his car, but stopped halfway there. When he turned back around, his face was torn between anger and sadness. He strode towards me quickly and I flinched back against the car, hoping he wasn't going to hit me. Instead of hitting me his huge arms wrapped me in a tight, bone-crushing hug. He let me go and walked back to the car without a backwards glance. I watched, astounded, as he pulled his car onto the highway and drove out of sight. I got back into the car and drove in the same direction as he did, hoping we weren't going to the same place.

A strange feeling of nostalgia crept over me as I drove the streets of Forks. I passed my old home, still pristine, no doubt due to the caretakers my parents paid for upkeep. I smiled seeing Charlie's old pickup truck just a few houses down from my own. The high school and football field still looked the same, as did Newton's store and the small diner we always hung out at. It was like I was on auto-pilot as I drove down Bella's street and my nerves kicked in. I pulled into the familiar gravel drive way behind her Volkswagen SUV and tried not to hyperventilate.

I tried to calm myself as I stepped slowly up the stairs to the front door. I knocked lightly and stepped back, shoving my hands in my pockets as my heart rate accelerated and my palms started to sweat. She opened the door with a timid smile and moved to let me in. I turned to her as the door closed and noticed she was wearing an apron around her waist and had an oven mitt in her hand. I raised an eyebrow.

"Banana bread," she said, smiling, and I finally noticed the smell that filled the house. It was warm and familiar, it was like home. She was always my home. "Um… Seth is bringing Masen home from school. That's their little bonding thing—Uncle Seth picks him up on Fridays and takes him for ice cream; they should be back soon," she said as she turned and went back into the kitchen.

I followed her, taking note of the differences in the house since the last time I had been inside of it. The kitchen had been remodeled, Charlie's old yellow cabinets replaced, granite countertops and new appliances installed, but it still felt the same. It was all too real. But maybe, maybe real wasn't the right word. More like surreal, unreal and every other word that was the opposite of real. I watched her work in the kitchen but a yellowing piece of paper caught my eye. I gently lifted it from the counter. It was a simple sheet of notebook paper with a recipe for banana bread written on it, the handwriting so very familiar.

"You kept this?" I held the paper up and she glanced at the paper in my hand.

"Of course." She nodded casually, though I felt anything but. "Everyone knows Esme makes the best banana bread in town."

Bella turned away from me then, so I stared at the photos on the refrigerator while she busied herself around the oven, smiling at the assortment of photos. There was one of who I assumed was her childhood friend Jacob Black's daughter. He was a year younger than Bella, but surprised everyone when he and his high-school sweetheart eloped just after graduation. Although it wasn't really a surprise when they announced her pregnancy and the elopement suddenly made perfect sense. I frowned looking at the picture of the little girl. I couldn't help but imagine how things would've been different if Bella and I had just taken the leap and gotten married instead of waiting.

The fridge was littered with pictures of Masen, Charlie, Sue and Emmett; also her stepsiblings, Leah and Seth, Sue's kids. There was, however, one picture that stood out to me.

"How is Renee?" I asked, touching the picture and her and her husband Phil, and she froze in the middle of pulling a pan of bread from the oven. Her face fell and her eyes refused to meet mine.

"Oh," she straightened and put the pan on the counter to cool, her face still downcast. "We, um… we don't really talk much."

"I'm sorry, Iz." I instinctively reached out to comfort her, but stopped short. "I didn't know," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"No…" She, like I had, seemed to reach out to me, "It's fine. It's just that she didn't really agree with my decision about… about Masen."

"What do you mean?" I asked softly, her eyes finally meeting mine.

"Well, she didn't really agree with the whole pregnancy altogether. She suggested many other 'options'--" she made air quotes with her fingers though one hand was hidden in an oven mitt-- "but I didn't choose any of them, obviously."

I watched her face for a long moment, and then she shrugged.

"Our relationship was strained anyway. I hadn't seen her since Al and I graduated high school, so it's not really like anything she says matters." She shrugged again before placing another loaf of bread in the oven. "Sue's been more of a mother than she ever will be. And there was never a doubt in my mind that I made the right choice with my baby." She snapped the oven shut and turned to me with a small smile. "Now, tell me about Alice!" I chuckled at her uncanny ability to change the subject and happily obliged, telling her all about my sister's conquest of the fashion industry for the next thirty minutes.

A car door slamming brought us out of our conversation about Alice and the voices in the yard got louder as the came closer to the house. Bella strode quickly to the door and I stood, too nervous to follow her.

"I don't believe you!" a voice yelled, and I heard small footsteps on the hardwood floor. "You're a liar!" Then the door slammed and a mess of red hair went flying past the kitchen and up the stairs.

"What the hell, Seth?" Bella opened the door once more and I heard him muttering his apologies. I felt my whole body tighten as their footsteps approached the kitchen. Seth was 12 when I left but he always looked up to Emmett and me. I felt the guilt curdle in my stomach, my past coming back to haunt me, knowing how many people I left and hurt. Seth was still apologizing as they entered the room when I stood, motionless, prepared for whatever was coming.

Seth looked at me then back at Bella, then at me again. It would've almost been comical if I weren't so fucking scared. Though he was only 17, Seth was roughly the size of Emmett. The 'Forks High School Spartans' shirt he wore was tight around his biceps and I was almost positive that he could crush me with his bare hands. So it surprised me when he, like Emmett, rushed towards me and hugged me tightly. I squeezed him back just as tight and he grinned as he pulled away.

"About fucking time, Cullen," he said, and punched me in the shoulder in what I assumed was supposed to be a light friendly gesture. But the kid was fucking huge. "Hey, I gotta get to school, game tonight. Listen, tell the weasel I'm sorry and I didn't mean it," he went on, backing out of the kitchen, his eyes on me. "See you around, Edward," he turned his back with a small smile and left us alone.

"I'll be right back." Bella turned toward the stairs, but before she could make it up them, Masen appeared at the top. He walked slowly down the stairs, his eyes on me the whole time. My body was frozen, my eyes on his face, gauging his expression. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he looked expectantly at Bella, but her eyes were focused on me. I fell to my knees, my body acting of its own accord, and he stood directly in front of me.

"Who are you?" he asked, his voice like a beautiful melody, my favorite song. I could listen to it on repeat all day.

"My name is Edward," I managed to choke out. I tried to clear my throat, but the lump wouldn't go away.

"You're Mama's friend?" I looked up at Bella and saw her face lit with a small smile and a silent tear trailing down her cheek. I nodded and he smiled. I couldn't take my eyes off his face. The resemblance between us was eerie and there was a kind of electricity flowing between us that was impossible to ignore. His face fell into a small frown, as if he were trying to figure something out. He looked briefly up at Bella them back at me. "Do you want to see my hermit crab?" I laughed and stood up.

"Sure," I replied and he held out his hand to me. I took it, grinning, and he led me up to what used to be Emmett's bedroom. The walls were painted a bright blue with a plaid comforter to match, underneath however looked like what were Emmett's vintage Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sheets. There was a Mariners poster on one wall and a Harry Potter one on the opposite, fucking Emmett… The floor was littered with stray toys and on a small table in the corner was a tiny aquarium. He reached into the aquarium and took out a tiny shell and held it out to me.

"He'll get bigger but then he'll have to move to another shell," Masen explained to me. I just smiled and nodded, relishing the sound of his voice.

"What's his name?" I asked and he grinned.

"Jake," he replied and I groaned. "I named him after my Uncle Jake. He's one of Mama's friends."

"Oh," I shrugged trying to rid my head of the evil thoughts I was feeling towards the very married Jacob Black. "Do you… do you have a lot of uncles?"

"No," he placed Jake on the table and knelt down in front of the table, his eyes trained on his pet. "Just Uncle Emmett and Uncle Seth and Uncle Jake… oh, and James."

"James?" I asked, my heart rate accelerating, who the fuck?

"Yeah. He's not my uncle, though," he explained, his eyes never leaving Jake.

"So… who is he?" I asked again.

"Hmm?" Masen finally turned to look at me. "Oh. James is Mama's boyfriend."

A/N: Thank you, as always, to Becca Graymoor for making me not sound STOOPID. And to messynachos for being and awesome life-twin :)

You guys broke 50 reviews, woohoo! Can you do it again?? This is the longest chapter EVAR!