A/N: here, some Ianto's musings. Now you can find Countrycide on Inkitt, if you're there, you can vote.

Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian

Spoilers: Meat

Ianto caught up with his assignment to find the lorry when Rhys proved to be useless in the matter. Ianto hated when he didn't get his chores done. Like he was late with everything today. Even the pizza came in late, but they stayed late so it go to waste like it did some days. Everyone drank his tea and everyone ate pizza together, they rarely get to do that, it was usually consumed on the way or staring at the computer screen. To Ianto it seemed like Tosh and Owen were turned from their screens sitting upright just because Rhys was in the game. They wanted to see how things would play out.

Ianto couldn't blame them. It could prove to be a curve ball if she went bonkers about it, they all remembered how crazy she was when Rhys was dead on the table, what she did to get him back, what everyone did. That memory made Ianto uneasy, tense, it was too close to Jack pale and dead in the morgue, he could still reach that sadness.

When Jack spoke his poorly timed suggestion for her to spy on Rhys that sadness struck hard on Ianto. The simplicity of the act of spying on your loved one, the spontaneous assumption that she belonged to Torchwood more than to Rhys. The sadness erupted into tenderness when Ianto remembered, what he usually tended to set aside, he remembered how unconditionally forgiving Jack had been towards them, how he never mentioned or asked them to justify their rebellion, their assassination of him. How he hugged Owen after he was shot by him, how he carried on to listen to Gwen setting her anger aside. How he just let it all slide. Ianto turned away quickly searching for a new chore, something to busy his hands with. But nothing seemed important enough to catch his attention. He just turned helplessly trying to find something to do, anything.

That was the state Jack found him in. Ianto opened up some random cabinet just to pretend that he knew what he's doing back here, but Jack then did something strange. He pulled him by his shoulder and embraced him. Ianto hugged him back after short pause.

"Right" he said in Jack's ear, "we're hugging in the middle of the day now?"

"It seems so" Jack's voice was hard and sad somehow and Ianto hugged him tightly.

"I love the suit" Jack said not letting him go, Ianto didn't mind. After short indecision he lifted his hand and stroked the back of Jack's head.

"I'm glad you've noticed" Ianto let a small smirk to crawl into his voice. "It was meant to be noticed."

"Show off" said Jack still serious, then he turned, kissed him on the cheek and walked away with his hands shoved in his pocket not glancing back.

As Ianto watched him go his heart faltered. He loved that man, he used that ominous word he didn't like to use too often, he loved him fiercely, and sometimes it seemed that he would go to hell and back for him. It was a love that ached for him sometimes, when he couldn't find anything he could do for him to make him… safe. He hated moments like this when he would feel the sadness and see it reflected in him and just be helpless…

But no, he won't be that, never, because if he became helpless he would useless to Jack, there was always something he could do, something that would matter, at least as a distraction, something to make Jack warm. Ianto smiled now feeling better. It was always one thing that could make Jack better.

"Jack" he shouted. Jack stopped at the door and Ianto hurried at him.

"What?" Jack frowned confused but Ianto just kissed him pushing him back to the wall. Jack laughed and for the moment everything was all right.

:)