I Wouldn't Leave If You Let Me
Summary: Sometimes, Jacob could be a little impulsive, grabbing her arm, shaking her, yelling, and, when the anger got to be too much to contain, Jacob liked to throw things, so Bella wasn't afraid. Because Jacob would never hurt her.
"Relationships with negative people are simply tedious encounters with porcupines. You don't have the remote knowledge how to be close to them without quills being shot in your direction."
― Shannon L. Alder
When Jacob hears of her scholarship, he shows up at her door.
"You're going to Alaska?" Jacob growled, pushing his way into her room. "With him?"
"Jake, I-" Bella doesn't know what to say.
She's wondering how he's found out, when he holds up a note with Edward's handwriting, and she wishes her friend were here so she could kill him.
"We're just friends, Jacob." Bella says softly, and Jacob snorts a laugh.
"Yeah, well I'm not letting you go without a fight!"
"I don't want you to fight for me, Jacob," Bella puts her head in her hands.
"Then what do you want, Bella?" Jacob asks, pacing around the room, "What do you want me to do? Tell me and I'll do it."
"I want you to let me go," Bella says.
"No!" Jacob growls, throwing something across the room.
Bella doesn't even look to see what it was. She just hopes it wasn't expensive.
Jacob stops in the middle of the room and looks at her intensely.
"Tell me about Edward, Bella," Jacob asks, and Bella shrugs, wondering why she's so calm.
So she tells him about Edward, she tells him about their friendship and the stuff they do together. It's all innocent. They don't even spend that much time together. Really, they only saw each other at school.
She tells Jacob about how lucky she was to get a full ride scholarship to Alaska university and that Edward's going to work for his mother. She doesn't know why she tries to explain herself. She knows he won't understand.
"So you think you guys are going to be all alone in Alaska and nothing's going to happen, huh?" Jacob asks, and she can tell from the bite in his tone that what he's about to say will hurt her.
"What does he know about me, Bella? Does he know about the things we do together? Does he know that you didn't even tell me about him?" He's closer than he should be, and his breath brushes across her cheeks. "Have you even fucked him yet?"
She slaps him, hard, and kicks him out of her room.
She doesn't tell him that she still a virgin.
She doesn't want to give him any more ammunition to hurt her.
"In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is wonderful. It leads to increased intimacy and closer bonds. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse and they make amends. It's safe to be honest. In an abusive system, vulnerability is dangerous. It's considered a weakness, which acts as an invitation for more mistreatment. Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power. Crying or complaining confirms that they've poked you in the right spot."
― Christina Enevoldsen, The Rescued Soul