"Okay, I got a bead on the head of the big one. When should I fire?"
"Wait just a moment. We want to cause maximum chaos when we bring him down. They are a group of idiots, if you ask me. I can see your laser from here, and they still haven't reacted to it in the slightest! Morons."
"Well, uh, 'ave you considered that they might know it's there, and are plannin' somethin?"
"I cannot exactly stretch my mind to comprehend a plan that involves allowing one of their members to get his brains blown out before the battle even begins. Either way, why don't you bring down one of them that is actually human? Without a leader, the robots will be nothing but a collection of bumbling idiots."
The Spy stood hidden, around 80 yards from the nine warriors advancing steadily toward Teufort. His ally the Sniper was aiming down his sights at a large, dangerous-looking robot sporting a massive minigun on his back. Moments before, the Soldier had been airshot to the ground by a female sniper nearby, and the Spy couldn't figure out why the Sniper wasn't aiming at her.
"I got a feelin' that the big guy ain't the best to let go. Besides, I can just lay on a snap shot and take out any 'umans, but I probably need to charge to take out a robot of that size."
"You have a point."
"Either way, they're about to reach the defenses. Give the order."
"Fine. I don't see why not. Demoman! Heavy! Engineer! Scout! Prepare to fire! Pyro, how is the Soldier?"
"MMPH!"
"Good. How long until you get him to the Medic?"
"... MMmm... MMM."
"Merde. Alright. See if you can make it faster than that. Either way, the damage cannot be allowed to be made worse."
"Everyone else; now."
Tracer looked up, just in time to see a few dozen pipe bombs falling from the sky above them, and to hear a bullet slam into the side of Bastion's head.
"Alright, loves, now's the time! Move!"
With that, she leaped up into the air and teleported quickly away, appearing on top of the nearby plateau, the one the Soldier had attempted to rocket-jump to earlier. Bastion transformed instantly into sentry mode, popping a shield, as the Reaper crossed his arms and teleported away in a cloud of smoke. Widowmaker fired a grapple into the plateau and swung over to it. Torbjorn dove behind Bastion, while Soldier 76 charged forward to take cover behind a boulder, laying down covering fire in the direction the bombs had come from. Mercy and Pharah flew into the air, as Genji dashed up a sheer cliff face. In the end, every last grenade exploded harmlessly.
"Shite! The bloody bastards dodged me bombs!"
"They ain't dodgin' this!"
The Scout charged up behind Genji and opened fire with his scattergun, forcing the cyborg ninja to suddenly switch to a defensive pose. Drawling his sword nigh-instantly, Genji reflected the shot right back at Scout, who jumped into the air to avoid it.
"Damn it! That was cloooooooooo-"
Scout was in mid-sentence when he was forced to bob his head to the side to dodge a shuriken fired by Genji. He ducked and rolled to evade two more, before coming up running and drawing his pistol, firing rapidly. Genji took one shot to the body before he was able to counter the shots, but reflected the rest.
Scout almost instantly holstered his pistol and pulled out his trusty baseball bat, swinging it at the ninja's head as he rushed past, slamming his foe to the ground. Genji jumped back to his feet and fired a quick three shurikens in a shotgun pattern, one of which sliced the Scout on his arm.
The quick-footed mercenary turned angrily and reloaded his pistol and scattergun while dodging more shurikens from Genji. He finished loading and rushed back into combat.
Meanwhile, the Sniper was trying to get a bead on the Widowmaker, who didn't know where he was quite yet. Bastion had survived the headshot via just being plain old durable, but he had a more important target now. Widowmaker moved quickly, swinging on her rope and firing at the wounded Soldier and the Pyro with her multi-purpose rifle, and the Scout knew he had to stop her before she could kill one of them. The Pyro carried the Soldier on his shoulder, the wounded merc firing ineffectively with a shotgun as he was hefted over tough terrain.
"YOU DISGUSTING SNIPER! WHEN I GET BACK ON MY FEET THEY WILL HAVE TO BURY YOU IN FOUR DIFFERENT STATES! AND YOU WILL NOT BE BURIED AT THE FOUR CORNERS, BECAUSE IF YOU WERE YOU WOULD BE SULLYING A NATIONAL LANDMARK WITH YOUR DIRTY BODY! IF YOU WERE HALF AS GOOD AS OUR SNIPER, I WOULD NOT BE SAYING THIS NOW, BECAUSE I WOULD NOT HAVE A HEAD!"
"MMMMPH!"
The Pyro threw Soldier down in front of the Medic, who was taking cover behind a boulder while healing the Heavy. The doctor pulled out his syringe gun, and while healing the Heavy with his Medigun in one hand, he healed the Soldier with his syringe gun in the other. Having dropped his wounded ally, the Pyro fired at the Widowmaker with his flare gun. With just one shot, he landed a hit dead center on her chest, igniting her skintight suit and forcing her to fall in order to roll in the dust and extinguish herself.
Having dealt with that, the Pyro turned to see the Heavy firing off his minigun, looking mildly insane. He was evidently in something of a tankiness contest with Bastion, who was shielded in his sentry mode. The Heavy, on the other hand, had no such defense. Every bullet hit with all the force it would be expected to hit with. However, this wasn't actually a problem for the Russian weapons expert, as each wound inflicted on him was almost instantly recovered via exposure to the Medic's Medigun.
The Heavy looked up in the air, only to see the Soldier flying downward with a market gardener to cave in the skull of the cyborg ninja that was preparing to finish the defeated Scout. Suddenly, however, he was once again knocked out of the air, this time by a flying kick from a familiar-looking female hero.