Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. Everything.

Chapter 21 – So Emotional

It wasn't much longer after my parents and brother left that James showed up. I let him in, though reluctantly and only as far as the kitchen, where he took a seat nervously at the table and drummed his fingers in a slow rhythm. I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms, waiting.

"I'm sorry." He stopped his drumming and held his hands out in front of him as if trying to offer me something. I glared at the floor and rolled his words over in my head. Edward had said the same words earlier and I'd believed him. Somehow they didn't sound the same coming from James.

"I just don't get it. I don't understand where it came from," I told him quietly. I heard him sigh and then the light scraping of his chair being pushed back. His feet appeared in front of me and his hands untangled my arms then slipped his fingers through mine. He brought my left hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

"Look at me," he whispered, using our entwined hands to lift my face to his. I winced at the sight of his injuries and let out a shaky breath.

"Tell me why, James," I pleaded with him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It just slipped out."

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hands out of his. "Not good enough." I tried to move away. He placed his hands on either side of my body, holding me hostage between himself and the counter.

"Do you know what it's like for me?" he asked, his blue eyes burning with anger. "What it's like to see some asshole who fucking left you high and dry five years ago to just come waltzing back into your life like he is God's gift?"

"It's not like that and you know it." I pulled a frustrated hand through my hair, and he chuckled, though it wasn't a happy sound.

"Bella, your family doesn't like me. I get that. I'm not the most personable guy, but fuck, I love you. And I want to take care of you and your kid. Not a lot of men do that."

"I know that." I placed a hand on the side of his face that wasn't marred by bruises.

"But – but he returns and it's like nothing's happened. Like he didn't skip town and leave you alone to raise his fucking kid -"

"Stop!" I cried, pushing him away and pacing the length of the kitchen. "There is history here, James. You have to understand that. The Cullens were like family. They are family. And – and if you and I are going to be a family, then you have to understand that." I let my arms fall slack at my sides as I stopped my pacing in front of him.

He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. "You're right." He nodded and I sighed. "I'm sorry." He said it again and this time – this time I almost believed him. "I should go."

I walked him to the door and he turned to me with a small, sad smile on his face.

"I'm just jealous, that's all." I felt a rock of guilt harden in my stomach as he said the words. I wanted to tell him he shouldn't feel guilty but all I could think about was the way Edward's hands felt as they grasped my hips and how his lips parted just as mine did…

"We'll get through it," I told him as I squeezed his hand. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

He nodded and kissed me softly. "I love you," he whispered against my lips.

I nodded and closed my eyes, fighting back the tears. "Love you."

I closed the door and leaned my head against it, the emotions of the day finally hitting me full force. Edward was back. He was home. He wanted to help raise our son. And Alice. Alice. I loved Rosalie more than anything, but Alice was my very first best friend. She was here and she was real.

I felt like I was living in a dream world. My life had begun treading a fine line between fantasy and reality. It was hard to determine which was which.

As I reached up to rub my eyes I felt the wetness of tears from my cheeks. I hadn't even noticed I'd been crying. I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt and made my way to the kitchen to clean up. To my surprise, Emmett had already loaded the dishwasher and was in the process of putting everything

else away.

"Sit." He motioned to the empty seat in front of him. I sat, though cautiously. Any time Emmett was serious was… well, it wasn't good.

"What's going on?" I folded my hands in front of myself and stared over his head. It wasn't as if I didn't know why he wanted to talk to me. Of course I did.

"Just wondering where you and Ed ran off to… that's all." He spun a stray spoon around in a circle, refusing to meet my eyes.

Emmett was funny that way. It didn't matter that Edward and I had been together for so many years or that we had all known each other forever. It still made him uncomfortable to talk to me about the relationship. I knew for a fact that he had no problem talking to Edward, though. When we were in high school Edward would sit too far away from me on the couch or not hold my hand at school out of respect for Emmett. Respect or fear; it was a tossup between the two.

"We put Masen to bed." I yanked the spoon from his hand, the rattling of it finally breaking me.

"And…?" he prompted.

"And nothing." I shrugged.

"Isabella," Emmett said sternly.

My eyes flew to his. "Don't." I pushed away from the table and made my way to the stairs.

"Iz! Come on!" Emmett called to me as I took the stairs two at a time. He finally reached me, just at the top.

"Don't call me that, Emmett. I don't like it. It reminds me of… her," I said.

"It got your attention, didn't it?" he said and I shook my head bitterly.

"Emmett, pissing me off about our mother is not the right way to get my attention."

"Well, I don't know what else to do, Bella! You're running around here like a fucking teenager with your hormones all jacked up on Cullen-juice or something!"

"Okay." I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "First of all, Cullen-juice? Gross, Emmett. Second… I have not!"

"Bella. C'mon."

"Emmett, I can't have this conversation with you." I stomped to my room and threw myself onto my bed, covering my face with a pillow.

I felt the mattress shift with his weight as my brother sat down on the edge of my bed. He sighed loudly and tugged the pillow away from me.

"Talk to me."

"No," I mumbled, sitting up next to him.

"Please?"

"I can't."

"Why not? I'm your big brother, Iz. You can tell me anything." Emmett nudged me with his shoulder and I felt my eyes fill with tears.

"There's nothing to tell," I sniffled, wiping my nose on my sleeve.

"Really? Edward shows up out of nowhere all ready to be the perfect father and you have no feelings about that whatsoever?"

"Nope." I shrugged and could practically hear him roll his eyes.

Emmett nudged me again. "Liar, liar, pants on fire."

"Really, Emmett. I just – I can't think about it. I can't think about him like that. It's not like it used to be. It won't ever be like that again."

"How do you know?"

"How do I know what?" I asked, finally meeting his eyes, so like my own it was surreal to look into them.

"That – that it won't be like that again?"

"How do I know that Edward and I won't ever, ever be together the way we used to be?" I scoffed.

He shrugged. "Yeah. I mean… how do you know?" Emmett asked. Who knew my brother, the macho police chief, was such a romantic deep down?

I turned to him, incredulous. "In case you haven't noticed I'm a little involved with someone right now. Also, Edward left me five years ago. Things are different, Em. We're not in love anymore."

Emmett snorted loudly and heaved himself off my bed. "Sure thing, Iz. Keep telling yourself that," he said, and patted my head in a patronizing way.

"What do you mean?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him back before he could leave my room.

"The guy just moved back from Australia and you want to tell me that there's nothing going on?"

"EMMETT!" I yelled at him, instantly regretting my outburst. I could almost hear Masen waking up. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I love him? That I'll end it with James and we'll all be one, perfect, happy family?"

My brother stared at me sadly then shook his head.

"It's not going to happen." I sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because he left! He left me alone. And – and no matter what has happened since then, God, Emmett… he left and it kills me. Every day. Still."

"Still?" Emmett asked softly.

"Every single day," I whispered.

"Listen… I know that he left and that it sucked -" I shook my head as he spoke but he didn't stop. "He left me too, Iz. And I know it's not the same, but… he's trying, you know? Who knows what will happen?"

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" I grumbled, and he laughed and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm always on your side kid, always."

"Then why do you act like you love him more?" I asked Emmett quietly.

He dropped his arms and ran a hand through his dark hair. "I just – what happened with the two of you was hard on all of us, you know? But… he's missed a lot."

I didn't need him to elaborate on his statement. I knew exactly what Edward had missed. Of course I knew: did I not look at my son every day for the past four and a half years and wish he had a father in his life? Did I not blame myself every day?

I did.

But I blamed Edward, too. He'd walked away. He'd cut his family off from me. He didn't write or call or even think about how I was doing without him.

Did he? I didn't know.

So… no. There would probably be no happy ending for the two of us, but if we could get along and raise our son together, then I would gladly deal with the cost. I would put my feelings for Edward, the good and the bad, aside…for Masen.

"Mama?" I heard Masen's voice down the hall and sighed, looking to my brother.

"I know he has, Em. But so have I. And so has Masen."

"I'm sorry," my brother mumbled.

I shrugged and stepped around him. "Goodnight, Emmett." I touched his shoulder gently as I exited my own room and headed down the hall to Masen's. I crawled into his bed and pulled him to me. Masen reached up and twisted a piece of my hair in his hand, something he used to do when he was a baby.

"I'm glad Edward came back," he murmured sleepily.

I smiled into his hair and hugged him tightly. "Me too, baby. Me too."

EPOV

"Sweet mother, Edward, what do you have in here?" Alice asked as she miraculously lifted a box of kitchen utensils three times her size onto the counter for unpacking.

"Uh… spoons?" I shrugged, and she rolled her eyes so hard I thought they'd fall out.

We hadn't made it back to the store the night before, instead spending the morning buying, loading, unloading, and stocking the fridge and cabinets. It wasn't until we decided to make breakfast did we find that there was no kitchenware unpacked.

"I'm starving," my sister growled.

I ripped the packing tape off of one box and grinned triumphantly. "Jackpot!"

"Puh-lease tell me you found the waffle iron!" Alice cried and laid the upper half of her body over the counter, exhausted.

"No… how about a toaster?" I held the stainless steel appliance up and she frowned.

"Fine," she sighed. "Pop-Tarts it is."

"We should have just stopped at the diner," I said a few moments later as my pastry popped up. I grabbed it in my bare hand and juggled it back and forth so it wouldn't burn.

Alice shook her head. "Such an idiot," she muttered.

I grinned around a mouthful of Pop-Tart. "You missed me."

"Fuck you."

The dirty words that fell from my sister's proper mouth caused my eyebrows to shoot up. "Admit it," I goaded her and she smiled slightly.

"Yes, Edward. I missed you. I'm glad we're going to be spending time together." She placed her own breakfast into the toaster and glowered at me. "I do, however, wish I didn't have to bail you out of jail first and be ogled by the strange officer," she huffed.

"Jasper? He's cool." I said through a mouthful of brown-sugar deliciousness. "Fuck, I love Pop-Tarts."

"Idiot."

"So, how long are you staying?" I ignored her comment.

She shrugged. "However long you need me."

I stared at the counter, mulling over her answer for a long moment.

I loved my sister. It had been a long time since we'd spent time like this together-- too long, in fact. But… did I want her here? While I was trying to build a relationship with my son? Would it interfere? Was I just being a completely selfish asshole again?

I mentally shook myself, smiling. Now was not the time to open this can of worms unless I wanted Alice to pull a Dr. Phil on me…which didn't sound like fun. "Sweet deal."

"You know, we should really go to Seattle to get some decorating ideas and-"

Her voice was cut off by the doorbell, which I ran to get.

"HEY, DAD!" Masen launched himself at me as soon as the door opened. I laughed and picked him up, hugging him tightly. Bella smiled shyly behind him, a large Tupperware container in her hands.

"I brought some muffins… I wasn't sure if you had groceries yet and I know how well the two of you can cook…" She bit her lip as her words trailed off.

"I'm fairly capable of using a toaster," I grinned, and put Masen down so I could close the door. "Alice, on the other hand…"

"I heard that!" my sister called from the kitchen.

"I know!" I yelled back. "C'mon. I'll make you some coffee. That I can do." I led them to the kitchen, Masen gripping my hand tightly.

"Is this where you grew up?" he asked as I picked him up and set him on the counter next to a half-empty box of utensils.

"Yep. All my life." I poured a cup of coffee for Bella while she and Alice chatted quietly, adding just the right amount of milk and sugar without even thinking about it, then handed her the mug silently before turning back to my son.

"Will I have a bedroom here?" Masen inquired, swinging his feet excitedly. They hit the counter rhythmically,thump-thump thump-thump. The noise and his question caused Alice and Bella's conversation to stop abruptly. Bella's wide eyes met mine and I was momentarily sidetracked by how the sun coming in though the window caught the reddish tint in her hair.

"Uhh…" I trailed off, silently begging Bella to answer the question for me. It's your house, idiot.

"Sure, baby, your dad and I will talk about it later. Why don't you go look around?" She helped him down from the counter and he looked between the two of us. I stared at her dumbly, unsure of what to say. Of course I wanted him to have a room here, but that meant that he would technically live here. It made me feel very dad-like. It also scared the living fuck out of me.

Alice followed Masen out of the kitchen and I could hear the slight beginnings of a conversation before their voices drifted away completely.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Bella laughed and started taking things out of one of the boxes. Cheese grater. Steak knives. Measuring spoons. My son wanted his own bedroom. Salt and pepper shakers. Holy mother of fuck, why was I so nervous?

"It's kind of scary, I guess," I mumbled, and starting placing the things she removed from the box in spots I liked, knowing Alice would move them later.

"Oh, trust me, I know." She laughed softly. I dropped a measuring cup causing it to clatter loudly on the floor, and she turned to me. "You'll be fine. I promise."

"I don't know how to be a dad." I gripped the counter, the reality of it all hitting me for the first time. My first thoughts of moving back were of sheer joy and excitement. Now I was completely and utterly terrified of failing at fatherhood.

"No one knows what to do at first, Edward," she said softly as she pried my fingers from the counter and laced her fingers in mine.

I didn't say anything in response to that. The truth was that, had I been around, I would know how to be a father. Had she told me I had a son years ago this wouldn't be happening. And of course it all came back to the fact that I'd left… a vicious circle of never-ending guilt.

"I just don't want to screw anything up," I mumbled and she laughed.

"Edward, he's four and a half! Believe me, there is nothing you can do to screw up with him. And he adores you." She let go of my hand and touched my face softly.

"Really?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. If he felt half of what I felt for him then we would be just fine.

"Of course. It's amazing, really, how well the two of you have taken to each other. I guess I didn't expect it." She frowned, little wrinkles forming between her eyebrows. I wanted to reach up and smooth them away, but I kept my hands to myself.

"Why not?"

"I guess I just… thought you'd be too angry to love him," she muttered, blushing, and picked at an imaginary spot on the counter.

"I am – was – am angry," I said and her head snapped up, brown eyes wary. "But… more at the situation than anything else. I just feel that it could have been avoided."

Her face relaxed a bit and she nodded. "Right. The situation." Bella sighed and looked around the kitchen before choosing to speak again. "It -"

"Mama! This place is awesome! Alice showed me her old room and my dad's old room and all this cool stuff and a basement with a secret hiding place and the big back yard and -" Masen burst into the kitchen, excited, with Alice at his heels.

"Dude, take a breath!" I told him, and he grinned up at me.

"I'm so excited!" He ran off again and we laughed.

"He's so amazing." Alice murmured watching the place where he'd been standing, her eyes misted over.

"Where'd you just go?" I asked my sister and her gaze shifted to mine.

"Literally or figuratively?" She frowned.

"Figuratively."

"Just thinking," she shrugged, and Bella laughed.

"You two are so weird." She shook her head.

Alice smiled sadly at me. "Some things never change." My sister shrugged. "Listen, I've got to run to Port Angeles. There are some things I need that apparently Kroger doesn't carry…" She shuddered delicately, most likely thinking of how often she would have to travel back and forth if she were planning on staying a while. I could only imagine how hard going back to small-town living would be for her. "Do you want to come with me?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm going to stay and unpack some more." I told her and she turned to me, confused. "What?"

"I wasn't asking you! I was asking Bella!" She rolled her eyes and turned back to Bella.

"Sure." Bella answered quietly, a small smile on her face. "I'll just get Masen - "

"Why don't you let him stay here?" Alice interjected and both Bella and I turned to her.

"Um… O…kay?" Bella turned to me and I could feel my mouth curling into a huge grin. An entire day spent with just my son? Yes, please.

"Totally fine with me," I told her, then added quickly, "as long as Masen wants to."

He ambled into the kitchen just as I finished.

"What do I want?" He rested his head against Bella's side and looked up at her. She brushed his hair back and leaned down to kiss his head before answering.

"Do you want to stay here with Edward while I go somewhere with Alice?" she asked warily.

"YES!" he practically screamed and hugged her tightly before throwing himself against me.

"Well, I don't feel at all like chopped liver over here," Bella grumbled as Masen beamed at her.

"I love you too, Mama." He grinned and she rolled her eyes.

"I love you, weasel." She ruffled his hair and he buried his head in my side. "You should call Em or Seth. I'm sure they'd like to come and hang out," Bella told me as Alice ran to get her things.

"Is it okay if you drive?" she asked Bella as Masen and I escorted them to the door. "I didn't have time to get a rental what with all the drama."

"What's drama?" Masen looked up at me with questioning eyes.

"It means excitement," I explained. "Mostly girl stuff."

He made a face. "Girls are weird."

"Yeah, well, boys aren't exactly normal either, kiddo," Bella said, fighting a smile at my and Masen's exchange. "Be good."

"Oooookay," we both answered in unison. Masen laughed and I watched my sister's face light up, completely smitten with my son. When she met my eyes, however… her gray eyes flashed cold, and I suddenly wondered about her intentions of going somewhere alone with Bella.

"Have fun, boys!" Alice flashed a bright, white smile before I could ask her anything and climbed into Bella's car.

Masen waved as the car pulled out of the driveway then dashed inside. "Come find me!"

BPOV

I felt surprisingly at ease as Alice and I pulled onto the highway from Edward's home. Of course I should have known better, considering Alice had never ceased to surprise me.

"So, who is this James character? What's he do? What's he look like? What's going on?" She fired the questions at me before I could answer the first one. I felt her eyes on me and could see her hands folded calmly in her lap in the edge of my vision.

"Well…" I sighed before launching into the explanation of how I met James and how our relationship had progressed. Masen had been barely a year old when I'd started teaching at Forks High. James had been assigned as my mentor teacher. He was respectful and kind, a huge help during my first year. We became friends but it didn't go any further than that. I wasn't ready to move on or leave the intense feelings I had for Edward behind. And Masen… I couldn't imagine putting him in a position where I would be going out on dates or bringing strange men to the house.

It was a couple of years later that I finally felt a spark with James and decided to take a chance. Things were bumpy at first; he was unattached to anything but work and I had a family to take care of, but… we found a great middle ground and things progressed from there.

Alice listened attentively, asked all the right questions, and seemed to be genuinely interested in my relationship. I knew that it had to be hard on her considering how close she and Edward were, but she took it all in stride and I was impressed.

"I'm glad you're happy," she mused quietly, her gaze now focused on the road in front of us. We were nearing Port Angeles and would soon need to figure out where we were going.

"I am." I smiled as I thought of what truly made me happy, my son. "Ali?" I asked tentatively, quietly. I used her nickname knowing that it would hit a soft spot.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about Edward."

She laughed quietly. "Iz, you know everything there is to know about Edward."

"No Ali. Tell me." I chanced a peek at her and I could see her eyebrows furrowed in thought, like she didn't want me to hear what she had to say.

"You won't like it," Alice told me, and I swallowed convulsively. Of course I wouldn't like it. I didn't want to hear about his endeavors with other women, about how happy he had been half a world away while I raised our son.

"Just tell me."

"Truth is… I don't have much to tell." She shrugged.

"C'mon. He's had to have done plenty while he was in Australia."

"I don't know, Bella. We haven't had much communication."

"What?" I nearly yelled, shocked and somewhat appalled that what Alice said could be true. Edward not talk to Alice? What bizarre alternate dimension had I stepped into?

"After he left… he told us he was moving to Australia. He said you didn't want to come with him and – and he asked us, all of us, to keep our distance for a while."

"And you did." My eyes stung with fresh tears.

"He's my brother, Iz."

"I know," I agreed sadly, and wondered if I could have been that strong if the situation were reversed.

"Edward buried himself in his work… he's done some amazing things. But that's all we'd ever talk about. And that wasn't very often," she shrugged sadly. "We didn't know that it would be like this, I swear. Mom and Dad… they miss you guys so much." I saw her turn to me out of the corner of my eye and I nodded in agreement. I missed them, too.

"I just don't get it Ali," I told her, she sighed.

"I know. He was just so… angry. I've never heard him so angry before. He'd worked so hard on something for him, finally. It hurt him so badly when you said no."

"I – I just couldn't leave." I barely got out the words as the tears began to fall freely. Thankfully, we had arrived at the small shopping center in Port Angeles and I'd parked my SUV in the parking garage. "I've never lived anywhere else, our whole lives were here in Washington and – and we'd planned it that way! We were going to get married and have kids and live close to Forks and…"

"And what?" she asked when I trailed off, my insecurities finally catching up with me.

"And he was better than that. He deserved better than a crappy life in a crappy town. Edward is so talented; I wanted him to go. I wouldn't let what happened be the reason he failed," I said indignantly.

"Do you really think you would be the reason he'd have failed?" Alice asked softly. I picked at a stray string on my steering wheel, avoided her sharp eyes. Of course I wouldn't have been the reason he would have failed, because Edward would not have failed. He would have found a way to balance work, school, our relationship, our son… he would have done it all.

I wouldn't have been strong enough to leave my family or to work things out long distance, and when he told me he didn't want me, I knew the truth.

I would have failed.

"No." I finally met her eyes, sad and angry at the same time.

"Why didn't you tell him, Bella?"

"I – I couldn't."

"Bullshit!" she cried causing me to jump in my seat. "He deserved to know. I know he was wrong, Bella. We all were. But… but you kept his child from him. From all of us."

"I was afraid." I wrung my hands together nervously.

"Of what? Of being happy? Of being together?" Alice was exasperated. I didn't blame her.

"That he wouldn't want Masen either," I finally confessed.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," she replied flatly.

"It's not," I whispered.

"How can you say that? How can you think that Edward, Edward of all people, wouldn't want a child with you?"

"You didn't see him that day, Alice. You don't know what he said, how he looked. He was glad to go… I wasn't going to keep him here," I explained, knowing that anything I said was worthless to her. She was right. I should have told him. I should have told him a million times but… it still hurt so badly.

I didn't want to put my son through that type of rejection. The moment I found out I was pregnant…things changed, everything changed, and I wanted nothing more than to protect my child. If I had to keep him a secret to protect him from that type of pain, then I would, and I did. It had worked for longer than I'd expected, until my guilt caught up with me, of course.

I knew it wouldn't make sense to anyone else. Hell, it hardly made sense to me. But I couldn't undo the past. I could only look to the future. To mine and Edward's friendship and his relationship with our son.

"For what it's worth… I'm sorry my brother was a dick. But… you're both at fault here," Alice said softly. I could only nod. Deep down I knew she was right, thought it hurt to admit it. We had hurt each other but we'd been given this chance to fix things, to mend our broken hearts and lives. Which reminded me –

"Did Edward have some kind of surgery?" I asked, eager to change the subject of our relationship.

"No…. why?" Alice asked, confused.

"He just - he'd watched Masen one night and I kind of walked in on him without a shirt," I explained and I felt the blood rushing to my face. "Anyways, he had a weird scar or something on his chest."

"Oh." Alice frowned. "Um. No, he's fine," she mumbled and opened her car door. "Ready?"

"Yeah. Ready," I agreed, knowing that she was hiding something. I also knew that I hadn't heard the last of her thoughts on our conversation.

It was dark when we returned to Forks; only a faint glow from a lamplight lit the Cullen house as we entered. I felt myself drawn to Edward's figure seated on the dark leather couch, his baseball cap-clad head just visible over the top.

"Hey." I leaned over the back of the couch and rested my head next to his. Masen was curled up in the loveseat covered in an old quilt that had once belonged to Carlisle's mother.

"Hey," he answered, not looking up from his sketchpad. I watching his hand move across the paper, shading and tracing until I finally figured out what he was drawing. Then I giggled.

"That's a little intense, don't you think?" I removed the cap from his head and tossed it to the end of the couch.

He turned to me, a small smile on his face. "Of course not." He winked. I laughed again and ran a hand through his messy hair, resting my hand on the back of his neck. He turned back to his drawing, an elaborate design of a tree house, while I watched and played absently with the hair at the base of his neck.

"Have fun today?" I asked softly.

"Mmhm…" he hummed. "Went fishing with your dad. Played football with Seth. I think he broke my ribs." He chuckled softly and I closed my eyes at the sound of it, the feel of him under my fingertips. I fell, for a brief moment, into a world where I would come home and crawl into his arms and forget everything but our little family.

"We should go." I stood up quickly, ashamed at myself, at my head for thinking ridiculous things, and at my hands for not keeping to themselves.

"Okay," Edward said softly as he tossed his book at the end of the couch where his hat had fallen. As he bent to lift Masen into his arms I picked up the book and flipped through the pages. They were filled with Masen's face, every expression captured almost as if on film. I felt a lump rise in my throat as I closed the pad and gently placed it in its spot.

"Ready?" Edward asked quietly as Masen's arms wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah." I opened the front door and let him pass, then helped him put Masen into the backseat.

"Goodnight, Dad," Masen mumbled sleepily and I smiled.

"'Night, buddy." Edward replied and kissed his head softly. He closed the door gently and turned to me, his face alight with joy.

I threw my arms around him. He hugged me back, with less fervor, and kissed my head.

"Goodnight, Bella." He opened the car door for me and walked inside without a backward glance.

As I drove home my mind stayed with Edward. It was frightening how easy it would be to fall back into a routine with him, how easy it would be to fit Masen into it. My heart ached for it. It yearned for a different time and place, a different situation.

But… Edward was right.

This wasn't our time.

Our time had come and gone.

And, no matter how much I wished differently, I'd have to accept that.

Thanks, as usual, to killerlashes and messynachos. I love you like I love beer. A lot.

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