Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Final Fantasy; or any characters associated with them or the video game series Kingdom Hearts.

A/N: In the past this story was up and done, it is being edited and remade with the story possibly taking different turns.

A/N: Read and Review please! :)

-VeeCat-

Ignoring addiction is harder than anyone thinks

The calls ring in your head.

Your body shakes.

You begin to love sleep.

You sweat.

You get nervous.

The MoNstEr needs you.

But love can conquer that.

Or is love another addiction?

Chapter Three:Who Ever Got Me Started?

Riku seriously stayed and just sat there. Kairi and Sora brought food whenever they made the meals. Mom and Dad left for their anniversary for a week. Which conveniently gave Riku plenty of time to be on my case.

"Feeling better yet Roxas?" Riku asked me, still staring.

"No." I replied.

"You will, eventually." He leaned back, and ate another hot wing.

"You seem, to forget Riku." I said to him, staring like he does at me.

"Forget what?" Riku asked me, looking a tad bit confused.

"Your the one who got me started." I smirked at him.

"Can't we just forget that, I feel bad enough." He sighed

"No."

It was a Friday, I was gonna go to the movies with Kairi as I did often.

But no, you had the coolest thing to show me. You wanted to introduce me to the monster.

We sat in my room. You broke out a bag. It had powder in it. White powder.

This powder had no real color, no odor, no taste.

You put two mounds of powder of the table and got out your school ID. You made four small lines.

You handed me a dollar bill, and told me roll it up. I did as asked.

"Do as I do." You instructed.

You leaned down, and snorted down two lines.

Reluctantly I did too. It burned my nose, but that feeling that followed was the best. A euphoria like no other.

So there you have it, its not my problem, its yours.

Is that why you feel you need to fix it?

"Yeah, I guess it is." Riku answered.

I had my plan set, to make him feel as bad as I could make him feel. It was his fault anyway. As much as I loved the monster, it was time I get my life back .

"Do you know how many other things are your fault Riku?" I asked him.

He just looked at me, I had never seen him with such a sad look on his face. His eyes glistened. Tears.

I felt bad but I continued.

"I'm gonna tell you, why Kairi left me."

This was the worst day of my life. The monster and me had been together for a week. Sora found out. It made him sad. If it made him sad, why did he want to make me sad? But it wasn't his fault. I blame you Riku, I could have gone to the movies and had a wonderful time. But instead you got me high.

Sora knocked on my door, I still hadn't awoke from my slumber. It was 4 P.M. And still I hadn't awoke. He had been waking me up for the past few days, or else I would have just kept on sleeping. Instead of just him walking in though, Kairi did to. But then Sora left. And Kairi just sat there. Until I finally got up.

Kairi sat there, and stared at me as I got up. My blond hair was mess, my blue eyes bloodshot. She looked at me with disappointment. And I looked at her, still tired.

"You know Roxas, I really don't think its working out."

I didn't respond. I saw Sora standing in the doorway. I knew he had done it. At first I was pissed at him. But I know it was for her safety.

Thats right, I'm alone because of you.

I'm alone, because you made me talk to the monster.

"Roxas, sorry man." Riku looked down at his feet.

It was working, I was making him feel bad. But I had one more thing I had to do. Tell him what it was like seeing the girl I loved have sex with my brother. I think that is what makes me so envious of him. The fact that she had sex with him so soon, but we had been dating for almost a year and she wouldn't touch me like that.

"One more thing." I say to Riku.

He looks so sad now. I hope he feels guilty.

"What." his voice is shaky.

"What would you do if you saw Namine having sex with someone else?"

"I.." He begins to say before I cut him off.

"Shut up."

I was just coming home from school. I was still doing my work, but putting any old answer down. My grades began to fall. I was still in soccer so I stayed after, thats why they were home first. And by they I mean Kairi and Sora. It had only been a week since Kairi broke up with me.

I walked upstairs, and I was going to go to my room and answer the monster's raspy voice. But I heard something down the hall. Noises. Yeah every house has noises in it, but these were different noises. Noises I didn't want to hear.

I creaked down the hall. I was outside Sora's room. And I already knew what was going on. Only because I heard the sexual moan of my brothers name. Tears streamed my face as I pushed the door open. One look of Kairi riding him like a cowgirl was all I needed before I just walked away.

That was a horrible feeling. My brother apologized for weeks. I didn't even look at Kairi. That's who I was mad at.

Stupid whore.

"When will you listen and know that I'm sorry." Riku yelled.

I looked at him.

"Because I don't care, you've done enough damage." I coldly say to him.

"What the hell, I'm just trying to help." Riku yelled

"Trying to fix what you broke?" I smirk. "I hope, you will someday hurt like I did, watching her have sex with my own brother."

"How many times do people have to apologize to you?" Riku said to me.

"I've been wronged so many times to know that sorry doesn't ever fix it."

Being me is hard. Being hurt is hard. The monster wants to make the hurt go away. But I can't let him.

I need to fix things on my own. I need to fix my pain with other things, and not the monster.

"Riku, I appreciate the help." I say to him, "But the monster used to help me, everyone tries to help me, I just want to help myself this time." I get up and walk towards the door, the exit for the first time in three days.

I just want to help myself.

But I have no strength, its all been taken.

I just want to help...

MoNstEr

I'm going to ignore that damn monster, Riku did help some. I took out the much needed wrath on him.

I'm a cold person.

The monster is calling all the time. As I sat there I let the monster call.

Being nice doesn't work in a world the monster calls you.

MoNstEr

There's that call again.

Tell me.

Whats it sound like to you?

MoNstEr