Chapter 27 – This is the Sound

"This is the sound of a broken heart beating"

-The Last Goodnight

My day with Masen was busy as usual. We had lunch, drew pictures, and played endless rounds of golf on the Wii fit. After we worked up an appetite again, I got to explain to my son why it wasn't polite to throw freshly cooked pasta at your dad. Then we got a lesson in cleaning floors.

After dinner it was: bath, books, bed. All the while trying to not contact Bella. It was up to her to do whatever it was she needed to do. I was trying very hard not to get my hopes up, so I spent my time occupying my thoughts with my little boy, my ultimate distraction. That is, until he fell asleep.

I closed the book we'd been reading and sighed. It had been a fucking long day. I reached for my phone and texted Bella 'goodnight' before I lifted Masen into my arms so I could put him in his bed. Just as my foot hit the bottom step there was a soft knock on the door.

"Shit." I groaned and glanced down at my son. His mouth was slightly open and he was snoring softly. I stifled a laugh and decided he was asleep enough that I could answer the door. I balanced him in one arm and opened the door with the other, silently cursing whoever it was on the other side and then wondering when I got so damn old.

"Oh, come on." I muttered when I found my new brother-in-law standing on the front porch.

"Uh… sorry to come by so late." Jasper shuffled his feet and I rolled my eyes.

"Come in." I sighed and turned back to the stairs. I heard the door close and his footsteps behind me as I took Masen up two flights of stairs to his bedroom.

"You sure you don't want to hold him while you talk to me?" Jasper joked lamely. I laid Masen in his bed and tucked his covers around him before I turned to Jasper. He recoiled slightly, like he was afraid I was going to hit him. It was a little funny.

"You alright?" I asked and patted him roughly on the shoulder.

"I just – I know you're angry…" He started, but trailed off as I walked past him and out Masen's room. He followed me down the stairs and into the kitchen where I'd pulled two beers out of the fridge. I handed him one and he stared at me, confused.

"Just fucking drink it, Whitlock." I thrust the bottle into his hand. He opened it with the hem of his shirt and took a small sip. "So, how'd you end up here?" I took a long pull from my beer while he thought.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you here talking to me instead of your wife?" I made a face at the word. Not that it really bothered me. It was just… weird. Everyone was fucking married now.

"We flipped a coin." Jasper shrugged and picked at the label on the bottle. I laughed and he looked up alarmed.

"You know it's a fake quarter, right?" I asked and saw the realization cross his face like a blind man seeing for the first time.

"Fuck. No wonder I always lose." He shook his head and I laughed again.

"She's had it since she was eight. Never flip a coin with Alice. Rule number one." I explained.

"I have a lot of things to learn." He muttered and I nodded. "I love her?"

"I figured." I tried to smile.

"She's really upset. She thinks you're mad at her."

"She knows better." I muttered and tried to shake the guilt that he'd just inadvertently put on me.

"Maybe you should tell her that yourself." Jasper suggested.

"I will." I gazed at the refrigerator, refusing to meet his glare.

"We're not moving in here." He reassured me and I laughed loudly.

"Oh, I know." I said and my sister's husband finally cracked a smile.

"Daddy?" Masen stumbled sleepily into the kitchen and I rushed to him remembering the last time he looked like this. I pulled him into my arms and pressed a hand to his forehead to check his temperature. No fever.

"What's wrong? Do you feel sick?" I asked as I tried to keep the panic at bay. He rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I had a bad dream and you weren't in your bed." He yawned. I patted his back absently and turned to Jasper.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going." He clapped me on the back and gently ruffled Masen's hair. "Call your sister."

"Sure thing." I muttered as I heard the door close and I headed back upstairs.

"Can't I sleep in your bed?" Masen asked, refusing to let go of my neck. "Just for tonight?"

"Just for tonight." I agreed and carried him back to my room. He scrambled out of my arms the minute I reached the bed and was curled up under the covers in no time.

"Move over." I nudged him softly as I climbed in. He rested his head next to mine on my pillow and kissed my cheek.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, kid."

"How far?" He yawned and wrapped a little arm around my neck.

"All the way to the moon." I whispered

"I love you to Pluto. That's farther." Masen mumbled and chuckled and kissed his head.

"Go to sleep." I told him as he hugged me tighter.

BPOV

I heard the door slam but didn't move from my spot at the dining table. I hadn't moved for forty-five minutes. Well, unless you count when I went to open another bottle of wine. The tapping against the hardwood floors stopped and Alice leaned against the door frame between the kitchen and dining room.

"Drinking when you're upset really isn't healthy, you know." She said with a small smile on her angelic face.

"Fuck off." I muttered and took another sip. Alice sighed and disappeared only to return with her own glass. Her ring sparkled as she poured herself a glass.

"Well, it's good to know you aren't knocked up." I quipped as she downed half a glass in one gulp.

"Is that what you all think?" Alice's ice cold glare made me recoil slightly in my seat.

"No…" I fingered the stem of my wine glass.

"You're a mean drunk, Bella Swan." She refilled her glass but I could see her smiling. "So, how was making out with my brother?"

"Wha -? I did no -! What the hell?" I stuttered and Alice laughed.

"Leah was practically exploding. She and secrets don't mix."

"Funny. She's kept others." I said softly. Alice frowned.

"Talk to me." Alice reached across the table and took my hand away from my wine glass.

"I can't." I whispered.

"Yes you can, Bella. I'm your best friend."

"But he's your brother, Alice. He's your brother and the father of my kid and just… fuck I miss him so much." I gripped her hand and closed my eyes.

"So do something about it." She said with her stupid soothing Alice-will-make-it-better voice.

"I told James I needed some time to think about things." I pulled my hand away from hers and emptied the bottle of wine into my glass. "But I don't… not really."

Alice's sharp intake of breath was the only sound in the room.

"So… you really enjoyed making out with Edward?" She asked nonchalantly and I knew she was trying to rid the room of its awkwardness. I wanted to hug her. Or throw something at her.

"You're disgusting." I rolled my eyes and she laughed.

"I'm here for you, you know. You don't have to think about these things alone." Alice squeezed my hand again. I flipped hers over and held it up so she could see her silver band.

"Yeah, same for you." I gazed pointedly at her. Alice pulled her hand away and sighed.

"I'm sorry. It really did just happen. We got caught up in the romance of the night… and the alcohol." She smiled.

"Do you regret it?" I asked quietly.

"Absolutely not!" She cried indignantly. "It's not what I planned, but it was fairly perfect."

"I'm glad." I smiled and clinked my glass with hers.

"Is he very upset with me?" She asked after a moment, her eyes glued to the table.

"No." I told her. Her gaze moved to mine and she looked relieved. "He's hurt, Ali." Her face dropped as tears filled her eyes.

"I figured he would be." She sniffed. "What should I do?"

"He really likes those cinnamon crunch bagels from the little breakfast shop by Masen's school." I said and she wiped her eyes.

"With cream cheese?"

"And hazelnut coffee." I told her. Alice nodded and then smiled the kind of smile that scared me. It was like she was up to something.

"I like that you know these things." Her gray eyes glinted mischievously and I felt my face heat up.

"Yeah, me too."

EPOV

I loved my son. I mean, really and truly loved him. I did not particularly like the little mouth-breather in the morning when his face was right next to my ear and his bony little arm was slung across my face.

I stifled a groan and gently removed his arm so I could sneak out from under him and make breakfast and pack his lunch. It was his last week of preschool and he was getting a little down about it so I wanted to pack him something special and write him a note. My mom always did it for me and I figured it would only make him happy.

I heard Alice before I saw her as I walked downstairs.

"Hi." My sister greeted me quietly.

"What's this?" I gestured to the dining room table which was covered with an assortment of bagels, cream cheeses and two large cups of coffee.

"I just… wanted to apologize." She smiled tentatively and I frowned. I crossed the few steps that were between us and pulled her into a tight hug.

"You don't have to apologize, Brain." I kissed her hair and she squeezed me tightly.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." She sniffled as I released her. Alice took a seat at the table and I joined her, pulling two bagels toward us and spreading them with copious amounts of cream cheese.

"Are you happy?" I asked.

"Extremely," she smiled, though her face was streaked with tears.

"Then it's fine."

"Promise?"

"I mean, I'm a little upset I didn't get to have that scary big brother talk with Jasper, but I guess I'll survive." I said through a mouth full of cinnamon crunchy deliciousness. Alice laughed. "Don't be afraid to tell me things, Ali. I know things are different - "

"Shut up." She clamped her hand over my mouth. "Things aren't different, Pinky. I love you just the same as always."

"Promise?" My voice was muffled by her hand and the bagel that was still in my mouth.

"Of course." She removed her hand and grimaced while I laughed quietly at her. "You're so disgusting."

"Morning." Masen sauntered into the dining room scratching his belly over his Transformers pajamas. He climbed into my lap and reached for the bottom half of my bagel then started licking off the cream cheese.

"Would you just like a spoon and a tub of it?" Alice asked while she watched him with wide eyes.

"Can I?" His sleepy eyes lit up and it took all I had not to roll mine.

"No, dude." I stood and set him in my chair so I could fix him a glass of milk and fix myself another bagel since he'd decided to claim mine in the name of sneaky little boys everywhere.

We finished breakfast and I helped him dress for school while Alice cleaned up the dining room.

"Shmanks for the shmagels!" Masen wrapped his arms tightly around Alice's waist before running out the front door.

She watched him, her mouth hanging open slightly. I shook my head and kissed her cheek.

"I don't know where he comes up with this stuff." I shrugged. She snorted softly.

"Says the boy who wore his bathrobe and pretended to be the Karate Kid for an entire summer." I chuckled and mussed her hair before grabbing my things.

"Tell Jasper I said… 'Watch your back' or something really macho like that." I winked and closed the door. Masen was chasing a dragonfly around the car, his backpack tossed haphazardly into the bushes around the porch. I picked it up with my free hand and unlocked the doors.

"Get in, kid." He took his bag from my hands and climbed in, buckling himself, grinning the whole time. Sometimes I was jealous of him. Of his ability to always be happy and see the good in something. I guess that was the perk of being a kid.

BPOV

The week after my conversation with James could be described with a number of words. I think hellacious was the best one though. He was cordial enough at school, though thankfully, we didn't have to see each other much. I did catch him whispering with the PE coach in the teacher's longue one day. I simply smiled politely as I refilled my coffee cup and James attempted to make small talk.

There were no more incidents after that.

I left school early Friday to pick up Masen and meet Edward at Forks' Elementary. I filled out registration paperwork while Edward talked to the office personnel with Masen swinging from his forearm. When he got tired of swinging Edward lifted him up onto the counter and wrapped his arms securely around our son. The words on the form went blurry as I tried to focus on them. One more page, I told myself. I turned the papers in with all of our identification and copies of legal documents required. The registrar returned with our things to give back, a concerned look on her face.

"Everything alright?" Edward asked her as he tucked his license back into his wallet.

The older woman brushed a piece of gray hair away from her face and sighed.

"I just need to know what name to put in the computer when I go to place him, dear." She handed the paper back to me.

"It's what I wrote. Right there." I pointed and held the paper up so she could see it. She shook her heard.

"I know what you wrote, honey. But it doesn't match the birth certificate." The woman explained. I flipped through the pages again to see what I'd written and stunned myself.

She was right. I'd written the wrong name on every page.

Every blank for the student's name said the exact same thing.

Masen Charles Cullen.

Cullen.

Not Swan.

"Just change it Iz, it's fine. It's his name." Edward touched my hand softly. I risked a glance at him, hoping I wouldn't see sad eyes. To my surprise they weren't sad at all. Something different glinted in them. He was happy. He liked my mistake. And, if I were being honest with myself, I did too.

"But…" I trailed off, my eyes on Masen who was now rearranging his father's wallet. "Okay." I began correcting my mistake and wondered how I even did it on seven damn pages without noticing. I finished and handed it back, embarrassed that I forgot my own son's name.

"Let's have a look around, shall we?" She stepped from around the counter as Edward set Masen on the ground. He took mine and Edward's hand and led us out of the office after the registrar. She walked us around the school and showed us different classrooms and where different classes and grades were.

Masen was in awe, gripping both of our hands tightly unless he was asking Edward to hold him up so he could see in the window. We left shortly after a tour of the cafeteria (which amazed him) and soon found ourselves saying an awkward goodbye in the parking lot. It had become normal on Fridays for Edward to pick Masen up and for me to have dinner with James.

"What are you boys going to do?" I asked as Masen swung between our arms.

"We're going to the cardware store and then for pizza." Masen said as Edward threw him over his shoulder.

"The hardware store. And then for pizza." He corrected him with a smile.

"Hardware store?"

"For my treehouse, Mama!" Masen cried as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

"Silly me! How could I forget?" I tickled him after Edward put him in the car.

"I don't know." He rolled his eyes. "I still love you though."

"Good." I kissed his face. "I love you."

"Have a good night." Edward said as he opened my car door for me. I kissed his cheek quickly before getting in.

"Be good."

"Of course." He grinned and closed my door. I sat in the parking lot and waited for him to drive away before I made my way home. After a quick shower and sweep through the house picking up random toys and books, I opened a bottle of wine (though I was running low) and prepared dinner.

James showed up promptly at eight o'clock, as usual. We talked while we ate, mostly about work. He informed me of an opportunity at the community college teaching over the summer and I told him I'd look into it.

"So, how is your thinking going?" James asked as he swirled his wine glass. I sighed and picked at an imaginary spot on the table.

"It's going." I told him softly. I saw him nod from my peripheral but neither one of us said anything.

"I understand you have a lot going on Bella, I do." He drained the remnants of his glass and set it down loudly on the table. "But I… I won't wait around forever."

"I know." I whispered. "I know."

He left after that, placing a quick kiss on the top of my head and closing the front door quietly. I sat for a long while, just thinking. Thinking of how stupid I'd been, how easy my choice should have been.

Thinking of how I was going to make everything right again.

The weekend passed quickly enough and I didn't speak to James again. Rose and Emmett returned from their honeymoon but I didn't have the nerve to tell either one of them what was going on. I didn't want to jump into their spotlight and I was quite sure that once the news of Alice and Jasper's wedding got to them, there would be enough drama.

If my conversation with James hadn't steeled my decision, my Sunday afternoon encounter with Edward would have. I drove to pick Masen up, planning on having dinner with my parents (and hopefully a long talk with Sue afterward).

The front door was open so I let myself in and realized that, apparently, I hadn't been inside Edward's home in quite some time. It wasn't much different from when we were children, expensive furniture, classic art, and high tech appliances and toys, of course. That was one of the things I'd always loved so much about Carlisle and Esme. They were noticeably high class but never acted like it and if you walked into their home you would only see that a happy, albeit spoiled, family lived there.

I felt the same thing I always had when I walked into the Cullen house. I was welcomed here. I belonged here.

I found the boys in the backyard, Masen drawing quietly on the back porch and Edward working out in the yard.

With power tools.

Be still my beating ovaries… er, heart.

I stood and watched him (perved on him) for a bit, marveling at how much he had changed in the past five years. Physically he was the same, though his handsome face was starting to show slight lines around his eyes and mouth. His lean body was not as toned, but by no means was that a bad thing. He was still the same shy and reserved boy that I'd fallen in love with, only more aware of himself and his affect on others.

As I watched him work, sawing and sanding and preparing pieces for the tree house, I thought about how different things would have been had he not gone to Australia or if I'd gone with him. We would never know for sure if the decisions we'd made were the so-called "right" ones, but we'd also never be able to change the choices that we'd made.

Edward wiped his sweaty brow with the back of his arm and glanced up toward the porch, his face breaking into a perfect smile.

"Hey!" He called and Masen looked up from his drawing, finally noticing me standing behind him.

"Hi Mama." He looked up, his smile just as perfect as his father's. I kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you."

"I was only gone for two days!" He giggled and struggled from my grasp. Edward laughed as he came up the steps and took a long sip from a water bottle. He was covered in sawdust and his t-shirt clung to his body, his hair damp across his forehead.

"Are you going to your parents?" He asked as he sat down and began to take off his sneakers and socks.

"Yeah." I started cleaning up Masen's mess.

"Do you want…" He trailed off and I looked up, meeting anxious eyes. "I mean – is he?"

"Probably not." I answered his unspoken question quietly. He nodded. "Emmett and Rose will be there. You should come, too."

"Oh. Oh yeah. I'll be there." He stuffed his dirty socks in his shoes and set them by the sliding glass door that led inside.

"Good." I smiled. He returned my smile and reached for Masen.

"I'll see you later." He took Masen's face between his hands and kissed his head. Masen's arms reached out but Edward laughed and stepped back. "I'm dirty buddy."

"But I want to hug you." Masen pouted adorably. Edward rolled his eyes but pulled our son into his arms anyways. "You smell like a tree."

"Thanks, kid. Thanks." He laughed again and sighed before kissing Masen's hair and setting him down. Edward took a step toward me, placing a hand on the side of my face and kissing my cheek softly.

"I told you she was pretty enough to kiss." Masen said from my side.

"You're always right." He winked at Masen and mussed his hair while I laughed. It was loud and genuine, bubbling from deep inside and pouring out before I could stop it. Edward shook his head but kissed me again on the head before opened the door for us.

"We'll see you in a bit." I called as I led Masen out of the house. He was quiet as we drove the short way to my parents and didn't speak until we'd pulled into the driveway.

"Mama, are you still gonna marry James?" He asked as I helped him out of the backseat.

"I don't know, baby." I took his hand and led him to the house.

"Because I know that Daddy likes to kiss you and if you like to kiss Daddy then maybe you should marry him."

"What is all of this talk about kissing lately?" I pulled him into a tight hug when we'd reached the front door. Instead of going in I sat on the porch swing and held him to me.

"I don't know. It just looks like fun." He shrugged and looked up at me with puckered lips. I kissed him and he smiled.

"It is fun. But you shouldn't kiss anyone until you're… thirty." I grinned and he frowned.

"But you aren't thirty and neither is Daddy and he kissed you today!" Masen protested while I chuckled softly.

"Okay, maybe not thirty. We'll talk about it when you're old enough to have a girlfriend." I set him on the porch and stood up.

Masen took my hand and gazed into the yard with a thoughtful expression.

"Mama, you know Haley is my girlfriend." He sighed and shook his head, like he couldn't believe I'd forgotten.

"Let's just get inside and you can talk to Uncle Seth about all of this."

"Yeah. Uncle Seth kisses a lot of girls. I've seen him." My son told my step-brother's secret as I ushered him to the kitchen to greet his grandmother.

"I don't even want to know." I said to a shocked Seth.

"Weasel! I can't believe you told my secrets!" Seth pretended to be angry and Masen simply shrugged.

"Sorry." He took a huge bite of a chocolate chip cookie Sue handed him.

"He'll spoil his dinner!" I protested.

"He's a growing boy!" Sue tapped me on the head with a wooden spoon and I winced, and rubbed the spot softly. Leah arrived soon after I did and ordered Dad and Seth to bring in her bags (which they willingly obliged to do) and stole Masen away from Sue and I so she could cuddle him on the couch.

We started cooking as soon as Emmett and Rosalie showed up and showered us all with gifts from their honeymoon.

"Is James coming tonight, baby?" My dad ruffled my hair as he walked through the kitchen and kissed Sue's cheek.

"No, not tonight." I said softly, not taking my eyes from the boiling pasta in front of me.

"Everything okay?" Sue asked as she patted my dad's cheek and ushered him out of the room.

"Everything's fine." I absently stirred the pot in front of me as I tried to keep my tears from falling.

"Did he do something? Are you fighting?" Sue pulled me away from the stove and pushed me into a chair.

"No." I sniffed and wiped my eyes. She frowned down at me and I looked down at my hands. The ring still shone there but it no longer held any meaning to me. It didn't show my love for James anymore, only the remnants of a relationship that was no more than a substitute for what I'd always wanted. What I'd been too afraid and too stubborn to seek and reclaim.

"Then what in God's holy name is wrong with you?"

"It's over." I mumbled. "With James. It's over."

"What happened?" Sue sat across from me and took my hands in hers. Her skin was a stark contrast against mine but still so incredibly comforting.

I told Sue everything. From the kiss at the airport to the encounter in the bathroom the weekend Edward returned. I told her about James' disappearing acts and how he'd become more and more estranged as the months wore on.

"He's sure to feel uncomfortable with Edward around so much, sweetie."

"I don't know, Sue. There is just so much wrong. So much that I don't understand."

She was quiet again as she thought while her thumbs rubbed little circles on my palms.

"I kissed Edward." I blurted out. Her dark eyes met mine and her eyebrows seemed to disappear into her hair.

"At the airport, right? You told me."

"No. After the wedding." I pulled my hands from hers and rubbed my face with the heels of my hands.

"Isabella." She scolded me and I groaned and let my head drop to the table.

"I know." I moaned.

"Stop playing with that boy's head." Sue tapped the table loudly as she stood up. I sat up, shocked.

"I'm not playing with James; I told him I needed time -"

"I'm not talking about James, Isabella." I cringed at the harshness in her voice and followed her gaze out the kitchen window. Edward stood in the middle of the yard staring up at the house. He bounced slightly on his feet before taking a deep breath and walking toward the front door.

I glanced briefly at Sue and watched the anger fade from her face and transform into a small smile. She rolled her eyes and gestured towards the door as if giving me permission to meet him outside. I felt giddy as I stepped out the door and met him on the bottom step.

"Hey." Edward smiled. My insides fluttered as my arms acted of their own accord and wrapped themselves around his neck. He hugged me back just as tightly and I pressed a gentle kiss under his ear.

"I'm glad you're here." I whispered to his shoulder. He released my body and took my hand, leading me inside. Masen met us at the door and Edward lifted him up and kissed him. And, like every time I saw them together, my heart warmed and my head filled with silly thoughts of a white dress and more babies with pretty green eyes.

But now the thoughts weren't so silly and my stomach fluttered wildly with hope. Until, that is, I remembered that I still had to tie up my loose ends. Only my 'loose ends' were attached to a man who I'd spent over a year in a monogamous relationship with.

Sue was right. I wasn't being fair to Edward or James.

xXxXxXx

The final week of school passed painfully slow. James and I hardly spoke at work, though he still called me each evening to tell me goodnight. Edward and I attended Masen's graduation together on a dreary Friday morning. He grasped my hand tightly as our son beamed and waved from the stage and it was right and there and perfect. We treated Masen to ice cream before Edward and I both had to return to work and he went back to daycare for the rest of the day. We parted ways and I returned to school to my class full of eleventh-almost-twelfth-graders who kept me entertained by telling me who had broken up with who for the summer and where they were planning on vacationing.

As the bell rang after my final class of the year and they filed out of my room, Angela pushed her way in looking flushed and worried.

"Ang? What's wrong?" I rushed to her and her eyes filled with tears.

"I think I'm in labor. Contractions. Ten minutes apart." She glanced at her watch and gripped my hand as I grimaced in pain. "Make that seven."

"Okay. Oh, shit. Okay, you have a bag?" I asked and she nodded. "Where's Ben?"

"Portland!" She wailed as she gripped my hand again.

"Not a big deal. We'll call him on the way." I grabbed my purse and placed my keys in her hand. "Get your things; I'll meet you at the car." I ran from the room and down the hall to James' class. He looked up, hopeful as I flung the door open but my eyes met his briefly then scanned the room for Seth.

"Clearwater!" James called through the room.

"Sir?" Seth's voice cracked as he looked up.

"Miss Swan needs you." He said and Seth's eyes traveled to the door. He stood quickly and bolted to me, his expression wary.

"What's wrong?"

"Ang is in labor. I need you to pick up Masen, please?"

"Of course. Drive carefully." He nodded quickly and I remembered how lucky my family was to have met the Clearwaters. I loved that stubborn, cocky kid.

"Thank you." I hugged him quickly and glanced at James who gave me a swift nod before turning his back to me. I didn't have time to explain, I'd call him on the way. I ran quickly to the office to inform them of what was going on before I met Angela in the parking lot, one hand gripping her overnight bag and the other resting on her swollen belly.

"Are you ready?" I asked, as I helped her into the car.

"Do I have a choice?" She said through gritted teeth. I laughed as I shut the car door.

Angela's doctor was in Port Angeles, so I drove as quickly and carefully as possible while trying to hold her hand, call her doctor, call her husband, and call Edward at the same time. Most of the calls were necessary. I called Edward because truth be told, I was fucking nervous and I needed someone to be there with me in case Ben didn't make it.

Edward met us at the entrance to the ER. Even in the midst of the chaos I couldn't help but take a moment to enjoy the sight of him in his crisp oxford, dress slacks, and striped tie. Professional Edward was delicious.

"Bella!" Angela gripped my hand again and I clenched my teeth together to keep from crying out.

"Let me." Edward pried my hand from Angela's grasp and replaced it with his own while I went to check her in.

For the next three hours Edward and I alternated between holding Ang's hand, fetching her ice chips, and calling Ben to see where he was. By the time he finally arrived the baby was crowning and Edward had mysteriously slipped out of the room. I let Ben have my place at Angela's side and I joined Edward in the hall outside of her room. He was leaning against the wall, his phone in his hands. Edward looked up when I stepped out and shoved his phone back in his pocket and smiled. I walked to him quickly and wrapped my arms around his middle burying my face in his chest.

"Thank you." I told him holding him tightly.

"You're welcome." I felt him kiss my hair and wrap his arms around my shoulders.

"She's here!" Ben cried from behind us and Edward and I jumped apart. "She's here. She's perfect. Beautiful. Looks just like her mother. I'm a father – can you believe that?" He prattled on excitedly while Edward and I grinned. I hugged the new dad and Edward shook his hand while we voiced our congratulations. An hour later we were permitted to see Angela, who was tired-looking but managed to smile ridiculously, especially when the nurses brought in a tiny pink bundle.

"Hello, Hannah." Angela cooed while Ben looked over her shoulder. I found myself jealous at their family display, knowing I missed out on it with Edward - and knowing that it was my fault. "Hannah Marie." Angela looked at me and my eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, Angie…" I hugged her gently and kissed her head then touched the baby's cheek softly. Her wide eyes were light brown and I could make out a mess of dark hair under her hat.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Of course!" I answered and greedily held my hands out. Angela gently placed the baby in my arms as Edward moved from his spot by the door to my side.

"She's gorgeous." I lifted her face to mine and kissed her tiny peach-fuzz covered cheek.

"Was he that small?" Edward's eyes were mesmerized as he watched Hannah in my arms and I felt the lump that I'd been fighting off take form in my throat.

"Yeah. A bit smaller, because he was so early." I whispered, not taking my eyes off Hannah's face.

"May I?" He asked Angela and she gave him a small, tired nod. I placed Hannah in Edward's arms carefully, though I discovered that he didn't need any baby holding advice. His able hands cradled her perfectly and the smile he gave her nearly melted my heart.

"You are going to be so much trouble." He murmured as she grasped his finger.

"I think she likes you." I rested my head against his shoulder and gazed down at her.

"I like her, too." Edward smiled and then shifted Hannah in his arms so he could hand her back to me. "But, I have to get back to work." He kissed my head and then Angela's.

"Congratulations guys, really, she's beautiful."

"Sorry about your hand." She said sheepishly then yawned. Edward chuckled and shook his head.

"No harm, no foul." He shook Ben's hand and gave him a quick hug before exiting the room, leaving me speechless. I spent a little while longer with the new parents until their family began to show up and I started to feel in the way. I whispered a quiet goodbye to Angela and Ben and slipped out of the room, out of the hospital, and into my car.

As soon as I turned my phone on a text message from James came through.

Computer crashed and lost my midterm. Have to cancel dinner. Will be at PACC all night.

I sat in the parking lot and thought about the mess I'd gotten myself in. How I'd let Edward walk away and started a relationship with James knowing that I would never love him enough. I thought about my mother and how, after all these years, she wanted to be a part of her family's life. I felt sorry for her but at the same time I knew how she felt in trying to make something right. I was trying to make my relationship with Edward right, only I was most definitely doing it wrong. Edward and I were only right if we were together and apparently I was the only one who couldn't see that.

I wasn't meant to be with James. My family's reluctance to accept him and his estranged relationship with Masen should have been enough proof for me. Edward's words from that dingy bar bathroom constantly haunted me: He's safe. He's not what you want.

Edward was right. With James there was never the risk of him leaving or me having my heart completely and utterly broken again. Because I would never feel for him what I'd felt for Edward. Never.

I drove, knowing in my head where I needed to go, but my heart took me somewhere else. Well, first it took me to a little coffee shop and then I ended up on the second floor of an office building off of Main Street.

Edward was bent sitting in a tall chair bent over a table, his hands moving quickly across the paper in front of him. I could have stood there and watched him work for hours. The way he tugged at his hair and how he frowned while he erased things with the tip of his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth. After a minute or two I spoke.

"Hi." I said softly, so as not to startle him.

"Hey." He looked up, his tired eyes crinkling around the corners as he smiled.

"I brought you some coffee." I held up the cup and he groaned softly wheeled the chair he was sitting in around the desk and stopped in front of me. I handed him the cup but he set it on the desk beside us and pulled me between his legs.

"That was amazing today. Thank you for calling me." He said as his arms slipped around my waist. I rested my hands on either side of his face and searched his eyes for something, for anything that would let me know that this, this moment with him was the one I was supposed to be living.

"I want that." I let my thumbs rub his cheeks, enjoying the feel of him beneath my fingers. I didn't have to explain what I meant because he knew, he knew and I knew. This was our moment, this life was our moment and it was time to start living in it.

"Just tell me when." His arms tightened around me and I pressed my forehead to his briefly and slipped my hands from his face to the back of his neck. Our lips met softly as he held me closer and I silently begged him not to let go. Innocent kisses turned quickly to tongues and teeth and gasps for air before he was gently pushing me away and laughing quietly. "I have work to do."

"I know." I sighed and he kissed me again. "Soon." I whispered and he nodded and used his long legs to push himself back to the table he'd been working at, leaving me standing in the middle of the room.

"Thanks for the coffee." He said as I walked towards the door.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella."

I walked out of the building with a smile on my face, though it disappeared as soon as I started the car because I had to see James. I had to tell him the truth and end this once and for all. My stomach flipped as I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of the building where James' office was. I greeted the janitorial staff as I walked the quiet halls that led to the broom closet they gave him as an office. I felt strange as I neared the door, knowing that it would probably be the last time I'd walk these halls to visit him. I knew things wouldn't end well and fuck, I didn't expect him to take this easily.

I also didn't expect to find him in his office…

…with a woman.

No, with a girl.

A shirtless girl with pale skin and a hot pink bra.

A redheaded girl with a high pitched laughed and a nose ring that I saw when he kissed her neck and she threw her head back.

A girl who looked a little too comfortable sitting on top of a desk with my fiancé between her legs like she'd been there before. Many, many times.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I threw the door open and it slammed into the wall knocking the framed diplomas down. They broke apart at the sound and James' eyes flew to mine.

"What the –?"

"I think I get to ask that, don't you?" James didn't say anything while the girl scrambled around and tugged her shirt back on. She pushed past me in the doorway and ran down the hall.

"Bella -" He began but I held my hand up.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked my voice muted, trying to hide my anger. He didn't answer. "How long?" I demanded again.

"A few months." He mumbled.

"Months? Months? Are you kidding me? I kiss Edward two times and you get pissed -"

"Two times?" He interrupted me and I threw my hands up.

"Are you serious? Are you fucking serious? Yes, I kissed him twice. How many times have you fucked the youngest Weasley? God! How could I have been that stupid? All those times you left – I'm such an idiot!"

"You didn't notice; you were too wrapped up in him and your fucking kid!"

"Don't you dare talk about my son like that!" I fought to keep my hands clenched at my side as he glared at me. I took a deep breath and broke his glare, still trying to wrap my head around everything that was happening.

"It just happened." His words caused my eyes to snap to his cold blue ones. I'd given the same excuse when I'd kissed Edward after the wedding and he'd scoffed at it, the asshole. Months. He'd been screwing around for months. Edward was wrong, James wasn't safe.

"Oh. Right. Well, let's make sure it doesn't 'just happen' again, how's that?" I slipped off my ring and placed it on the edge of his desk.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Sounds about right." I turned away from him, my eyes raking around the room as I racked my brain thinking of something to say. I had nothing. Nothing that mattered to me or would matter to him.

"Goodbye, James." I walked to the door and didn't look back as it closed behind me. He wasn't safe. He wasn't what I wanted. And he just gave me the easiest out I could ever imagine. I should have been angry that he was cheating, that he was with another woman for months while I struggled with my feelings for both him and Edward.

But I wasn't.

I was relieved.

I was relieved as I got into my car. I was ecstatic as I drove back to Edward's office. Of course, I was disappointed when I realized that his car was gone. I sat in the empty parking lot trying to calm myself and comprehend everything that had happened in the few hours since I'd rushed out of school.

Sue had told me to stop playing with Edward's head. I knew it was wrong, but I loved being around him so much that it was hard not to act… normal. Well, normal for us anyway. Edward never said anything though. He was always supportive and did everything, everything, right. I could have thrown myself at him a million times and he wouldn't have even batted an eye. And here I was anxious and even giddy to get to him and share this wonderful news. That James had been cheating on me for months and what did I expect? That he would welcome me with open arms? That we'd start living happily ever after and that'd be the end of it?

I really needed to get a grip on reality. So, instead of dreaming up ridiculous fantasies of Edward and I on the drive back home, I thought of how I would approach the situation. How I would explain to him what had happened. And I hoped with all my heart that he would listen with an open heart and open mind and consider giving me, us, anything, another chance.

I drove cautiously from Port Angeles, my heart pounding in my chest the entire time, until I reached Edward's driveway and it stopped altogether. He wasn't there. I rested my head on the steering wheel and sighed before turning off the car and making my way to the front porch. I wrapped my arms around my knees and waited for Edward to come home.

Thankfully I didn't have to wait long. I stood and brushed my pants off as he pulled into the drive and got out of his Tahoe.

"Hey." He jogged up the steps and passed me to open the front door. I followed him inside wringing my hands nervously and watching his every move. He loosened his tie and kicked off his shoes by the door, then untucked his shirt and made his way to the kitchen. I stood in the foyer, too nervous to move.

"You okay?" He raised an eyebrow at me when he came back from the kitchen with two beers in his hands. He handed me one and gestured to the living room but I didn't move.

"Sure. Fine." I held the bottle in my hand but didn't bring it to my lips.

"What's going on, Bella?" He took the beverage from me and set it on the small side table by the door. I shook my head, my eyes stinging with tears, and looked away from him. His hands found my face and I melted into him, wrapping my arms around his body and burying my face in his chest.

Edward's hands moved and gripped my shoulders then gently pushed me away before they were on my face again, holding my gaze to his.

"Tell me." He breathed the words and I couldn't fight it any longer.

"I just want this so much and I don't know if you want it too. I think you do but I have no right to ask you. You were right all along, James wasn't what I wanted and it doesn't matter anyways because I wasn't what he wanted and -"

I stopped my rant. Edward's hands had fallen from my face and he raked one through his hair before shoving them both in his pockets.

"Is this the part where you tell me 'when'?" He asked softly.

"What?" I looked at him through blurry eyes.

"I said, is this the part where you tell me 'when'?" Edward asked again, a small smile playing on his perfect mouth.

"Yes." I managed to choke the word before I was in his arms and his lips were on mine.

"Say it." He murmured while his fingers danced beneath my shirt.

"When." I whispered and his mouth covered mine once more.

"Again." Edward pulled away, just enough that I could see the grin on his face.

"When. When. When." I repeated the word and covered him with kisses because I didn't have to ask if he wanted this, I knew. I knew because I knew Edward. I loved Edward. And as we moved, slowly but deliberately up the stairs I knew that this was right. That Edward and I would make it work, no matter what.

"This is where we are,

This is where we've been,

This is how I fall in love with you again."

Sah4004 beta'd, messynachos preread.

Thank you again and again and again for reading. I am continuously overwhelmed. We're almost at the end. Thanks for sticking with me. I love you all, really and truly.

If you want to know about updates or teasers or just random, boring stuff from my life, follow me on Twitter. /IdPattThat

XOXO