Hi there readers-

Congrats to my two reviewers! They both got the quiz question correct!

Take an adorable, thong-wearing Tigerstar plushie! *Loads plushie into T-Shirt Cannon and shoots them at reviewers*

(Oh yeah, and DNA, Littlecloud and Leafpool did their laundy together very romantically xD)

There is cursing in this episode, so kids plug your ears (Or shut your eyes, actually). If you don't like cursing or violence, just skip this chapter.

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SCOREBOARD

DNACat with 2 squirrels

Toaster Stroodal with 1 squirrel

Episode 5: Crowfrost, Scorchfur, Oakfart

"Hello and welcome to Win a Date With Leafpool! I'm Ivypool, your announcer. Now come on out Leafy!" The brown-and-white she-cat cartwheeled on to stage.

"As you all know, yesterday's episode was a special one." Leafpool started. "For yesterday was Win a Date With Ivypool. I bet you're wondering why I didn't make an appearance. Well, if you recall in the first episode, I had to see Tigerstar wearing a thong. And I quite literally needed to bleach my eyes. So that's what I did yesterday. Except I went blind. So I had to drive-"

"Um... if you were blind, how did you drive?" Rosebark asked uneasily.

"Very violently. Now stop interruptning. So anyways, I had to drive over to Jayfeather's Eye Clinic where he gave me eye surgery the best he could. Which is why I'm wearing these adorable glasses." Leafpool explained, touching her wide-rimmed black glasses.

"That's great," Ivypool said sarcastically. "Everyone wanted to hear about you bleaching your eyes and getting eye surgery." Leafpool nodded.

"I know. That's why I told them. Ivy, who's playing today?"

"Today's toms are Crowfrost, Scorchfur, and Oakfart!" Ivypool sighed. The crowd laughed.

"What?" she said. "The card actually says that!" She waved the orange card around in the air. The toms came out on stage. Crowfrost stood behind the podium closest to Leafpool. The brown-and-white she-cat narrowed her eyes.

"Your name reminds me too much of he-who-shall-not-be-named." she said. "I'm going to call you Telephonepolefrost instead." Crowfrost looked confused.

"Why Telephonepolefrost?" he asked.

"Because that's what Breezepelt is threatening to hit you with right now." Leafpool replied. Telephonepolefrost looked behind him. Breezepelt wiggled his eyebrows and pointed to the telephone pole that was leaning against the wall behind him. Telephonepolefrost gulped.

"Anyways, let's play. Here's the first question, submitted by DNACat." She paused to turn and wave to the brown she-cat in the audience. "Your clan is low on food, and your mate is starving because they are sacrificing their own food for their clan. Do you a) give them food, b) let them starve, they'll be fine or c) guilt-trip them into eating?" Ivypool asked.

"I say B." Telephonepolefrost grumbled.

"What?!" Leafpool shrieked. "Who is your poor, poor, mate?"

"That'd be me!" a rough voice said firmly. There was a cream-furred she-cat climbing up on stage. She had fiery amber eyes that were burning with rage.

"Hmmm, maybe I would've picked B too..." Leafpool said and quickly hid behind her podium.

"How dare you!" the cream cat shrieked. "Having my Crowfrost on your dumb show and then forcing him to say he'd starve me?!"

"Dawnpelt, shut up." Breezepelt said simply.

"Why I never! You are so incredibly rude to tell a darling she-cat to shut up!" Dawnpelt scolded.

"Dawnpelt, shut up." Breezepelt said again. "Or... are you too stupid to know what that means?"

"Why, you!" Dawnpelt screamed and leapt at the black tom. He fell to the ground, as the attack was unexpected. Ivypool dashed over to the rolling ball of black-and-cream fur and tore the crazy she-cat off of Breezepelt. The black tom huffed, glared at Dawnpelt, then took his earbuds from his shirt pocket and beat the cream-furred she-cat with them, using them as nunchucks. Dawnpelt howled in pain.

"BREEZEPELT BEHIND YOU!" Ivypool screamed. The black furred tom turned around only to be hit with a folding chair by Crowfrost. The tom stumbled around a bit and then fell over. Crowfrost didn't stop there. He now had a cast-iron skillet in his hands, and brought it down on Breezepelt's head. The crowd screamed as blood splattered across the stage. They were running out of the auditorium as fast as possible. The toms were long gone (except Crowfrost of course). Leafpool has tipped over the green podium, using it as a barricade. Rosebark was hiding behind the bleachers. Dawnpelt shoved Ivypool into a wall.

"Why are you attacking me?" Ivypool hissed.

"Because your dumb boyfriend," Dawnpelt snarled, motioning to the limp body on the floor. "Called me stupid."

"You are such a drama queen! I've been called worse than stupid, and I didn't go around attacking people!" Ivypool pointed out. She flipped Dawnpelt around so her back was against the wall. Ivypool threw punches at the cream cat, hitting her in the face, and giving her a bloody nose. Dawnpelt rammed her knee into the silver tabby's stomach. She kicked Ivypool away while she was curled up. Ivypool was now on the ground, weakly staring up at the dangerous she-cat.

"Why is she wearing that trench coat?" she thought. "It's like, ninety degrees outside."

Dawnpelt opened one side of the long coat to reveal a stash of weapons. Ivypool gasped as Dawnpelt took out two shiny knives.

"Crowfrost, here." she called and tossed a knife to her mate, who caught it and gave Breezepelt an evil smile.

"Why are you doing this?" Ivypool coughed. Dawnpelt made a 'tsk tsk tsk' noise.

"Don't you know? Or... are you too stupid to know?" Dawnpelt said. "I well never forgive Thunderclan. Ever. That stupid medicince cat murdered my brother. Now I'll murder Thunderclan." The silver tabby heard Breezepelt moan from behind her, followed by Crowfrost's laugh.

"Then why are you hurting Breezepelt?" Ivypool asked weakly. Dawnpelt laughed, and it sent shivers up the silver tabby's spine.

"Because, Ivy-Dear, I can tell you are close to your Breezy-Boy." Ivypool flinched.

"And," Dawnpelt sighed. "Dawnpelt-Darling must murder anyone who a Thunderclan cat is close to."

"You are a sick bitch." Ivypool said disgustedly.

"You should watch what you say to a person who has a knife in her hand."

"You're going to stab me anyways, so why should I?" Ivypool said defiantly. Dawnpelt laughed again.

"You're right." And with that, Dawnpelt brough the knife down on Ivypool. She screamed, and then the world around her went black.

Ohmygod, writing fight scenes is sooooooo much fun!

Trust me, it hurt me having my Breezy-Baby get stabbed :(

Hope you enjoyed Episode 5 of Win a Date With Leafpool!

Make sure to leave a review!

QUIZ

Who was Jayfeather's first mentor?