A/N: Hello everyone! I am SO sorry this update took so long. I just got promoted at work (yay!) and I just spent the last 2 weeks doing some intensive training, so I just couldn't find the time to sit, edit, and post. Now that it's Friday and it's not so crazy, I'm finally here! lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter! My updates might be a little more slower now that I just got busier, but I promise I will see this story to the very end (which is still far from now!).
Chapter 11: Professor Taylor, Reporting for Duty
"Expelliarmus!" I yelled, seeing a red flash of light escape my wand and hit the wand Severus was holding. I saw the wand twitch, but it did not disarm him like I wanted to.
"You are almost there, I can feel it," he said, encouraging me to do it again. I huffed, disappointed that I still wasn't able to disarm him. I was determined this time, though.
He took his stance, and I took mine, pointing my wand at his and yelling "Expelliarmus!" with more force than before. Finally, when the red light hit his wand, it knocked it right out of his grip and onto the floor behind him. He looked at me proudly as I hunched over trying to catch my breath.
"I never realized how much energy that would take," I said, still trying to even out my breathing. He came over and patted me on the shoulder.
"You should be very proud of yourself. You are able to learn fairly quickly and master whatever is set forth to you in a short amount of time. I think you will become a force to be reckoned with," he said, handing me a glass of water. His statement vaguely reminded me of what happened in the Astronomy tower, but I shook the thought, not wanting to spoil this moment. I gladly took the cup, the cold water feeling amazing as it dripped down my throat. "When you are able, we shall practice your shields again before we are done for the night."
I groaned, not really excited about being hit by his hexes again. He threw a couple at me in the beginning of our training, so I knew what they felt like and could see what to expect. Although they were only meant to sting, they still hurt quite a bit. Once I was able to stand without gasping for breath, I readied myself, nodding to him that I was ready.
"Just like last time. One, two, three-"
"PROTEGO!"
I could see the hex coming right at me, and then suddenly it bounced off of the shield I had casted and made its way back toward Severus. He swiftly moved his wand in a circle to protect himself from his own hex. From the look on his face, he was not expecting that, but I wasn't either. I had only managed to make it dissipate once it hit my shield, except for the handful of times when I didn't cast it in time and the hex actually hit me. We both stood there, speechless, letting the silence fill the room.
He looked at me as I walked towards him. I hope I didn't hurt him.
"Are you okay?" I asked, stopping just a few steps in front of him. He didn't answer me for a few minutes. "Severus? Did I hurt you?" I asked again, taking another step closer. Although we are practicing, and the whole point of this is to defend myself, I would never want to hurt him. I'd feel terrible if he was hurt.
He closed the gap between us, and cupped my face in his hands. "You are an amazing human being. Where have you been all my life?"
It has been almost 3 weeks since the students have arrived back from their holiday break. I haven't been out of my room much, besides being with Severus to help with potions, or to work on my spells, or to have our "therapy sessions", as I call it. Having that time with Severus has helped tremendously, but now that I have it under control (for the most part), now I wonder about everything else. How did it all start? Did I always have this magic? Will it ever go away? Every time I ask Severus he always tells me he's working on it, which leads me to believe that he's hiding something from me. I don't blame him, though. May be it's better if I didn't know about it. His enthusiasm for my training with him is really rubbing off on me, though. He makes me feel so confident in myself, which is something I've lacked for quite some time.
Auntie Minnie had a free period before lunch, so she offered to show me my classroom and office and helped me set up. The classroom was large, but nowhere as big as what I thought it would be. There were four rows of desks that could hold two students each, four desks per row. The front section of the class was slightly raised from the rest of the room. There was one large desk – my desk – along with a chair similar to the ones used in the Great Hall, a large chalkboard, and a screen that looked like it belonged to a projector. Bookcases lined the wall behind my desk. There was one window that illuminated the whole classroom, and it spanned the whole length of the wall that was behind my desk.
"You can certainly personalize your classroom as you see fit. We can always take a trip if you'd like to purchase more," Auntie said, waving her wand to dust off the classroom. I sat down at my desk, resting my hands on the hard wooden table. It was making it more real now that I would be a teacher here. For the past few months I felt more like a guest, but now I'm actually getting ready to teach! It's rather exciting.
"That door right there," Auntie Minnie said, pointing to the door on my right, "goes straight into your office. When you have free period, you're more than welcome to spend time in there to do what you please. I like to use my office for when it's busy and I don't want to be in my personal quarters."
I looked at her with curiosity. "Can we go in and see my office?" She chuckled as she motioned for me to follow her. As she opened the door, dust flew everywhere. I started sneezing like a mad woman, hunching over with every "ah-choo". Auntie quickly flicked her wand and the dust ceased to exist.
"Thank you," I said, very congested now from all the dust. She turned to me, made a "tsk" and tapped her wand on my nose. Suddenly, I felt all the congestion leave my nose and my sinuses, my nasal passageways clearer than when I had walked into the classroom.
"Can you teach me that on our next lesson?" I asked her. "That will be very helpful during allergy season."
Auntie Minnie laughed. "In time, my dear. As you can see it's not much but you can personalize it as much as you would like." The office was small, but I could work with the space. It had a desk in the center, a fireplace to help keep the room warm, a small bookcase, and two chairs for guests. I think another trip to London is in order. We walked out of the office and back into the classroom. I hopped onto one of the student desks, swinging my legs.
"This is great, Auntie. I love it. I'm starting to get really excited about teaching." It will be a great distraction from everything.
"That's wonderful to hear. I'm so happy you decided to come here. It makes it easier for me to look after you. How are you and Severus doing?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.
I shook my head. "We're doing fine. We're still meeting twice a week to play therapist, but it's definitely helping. He said may be after a few more sessions he will be able to start teaching me to do it on my own."
She smiled, looking relieved that I was doing better. "I'm happy to hear that my dear. Oh-" Auntie went into her pocket to fish out a piece of parchment.
"The Headmaster thought it would be beneficial to have your presence more known on the school grounds, so he has instructed me to add you into the nightly staff rounds and the chaperone rotation for our Hogsmeade trips." She opened up the piece of parchment before handing it to me. "I wanted to pair you with Severus, since you're already comfortable with him-"
"Auntie!" I laughed.
"-so, you will be chaperoning with Severus this Saturday. He always tries to excuse himself from his chaperoning duties, but I will bet you five chocolate frogs he will not try to after learning he will be with you." I blushed, knowing she was definitely setting this up. She hooked her arm through mine while we made our way out and to the Great Hall to eat. "You are also going to shadow Severus on the nightly rounds tomorrow night. He has a knack for catching every last student out past curfew, you can learn a lot from him."
I laughed, shaking my head again. "You are impossible, Auntie."
"Impossibly good," she said, swatting my arm.
I don't know why I was nervous about going on nightly rounds. Maybe it has something to do with being out in the dark, quiet halls, or maybe it could be just this constant fear that things happen to me when the sun goes down. Either way, it couldn't be so bad since Severus is with me. I'm still not that good at my defensive and offensive spells yet, but may be if there's some real trouble, I could get some practice in.
I figured since I will be something of an authoritative figure tonight, I took it as an opportunity to start testing out my teaching attire. I knew what it was like for faculty in my world, but here they wear more than just trousers and a nice blouse. I knew we're walking most of the time, so I wore flats in an effort to save myself from angry feet later. Comfortable black trousers and a dark blue blouse seemed fitting for tonight; I almost looked like a policeman. I threw on my teaching robes and had my hair half up and half down. Simple, yet professional. I was looking at myself in the mirror when I heard a knock at my door.
"Good evening, Severus," I said, letting him into my room. I saw his eyes subtly look me over, which made my face a lot redder than it should be. I guess robes can be a good fashion accessory here.
"Auntie Minnie told me you are an expert on catching students past curfew," I teased, leaning against the fireplace. He kept staring at me, not acknowledging my statement.
"Earth to Professor Snape," I said, snapping my fingers. He finally shook his head, coming back to reality. I laughed, knowing his reaction is probably stemming from my sudden change in attire. "Didn't think I could pull off teaching robes like you, huh?" I said, crossing my arms victoriously.
"I apologize, Mia, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable," he said, leaving his place by the couch and walking towards me.
"Forgive me if I am using this phrase incorrectly, but you are a sight for sore eyes," he said, running his hands up and down my arms. I shivered, chuckling at his choice of words. He kissed the top of my head as he squeezed my hands.
"Come. Let us start our rounds and send these rule-breaking students back where they belong," he drawled.
Auntie Minnie was not kidding about Severus catching every single student that's out past curfew. If it were me doing these rounds, I wouldn't have caught half of them. He also gave very little room for students to redeem themselves. It seemed like you were only given that little room if you were in Slytherin – what a coincidence. I didn't really think that was fair, but maybe if you've been here as long as he has – or even as long as Auntie Minnie has, you would give some preferential treatment to your house as well. If there was one thing he kept consistent, it was his ability to take away house points. No matter what house you were in, he never hesitated to take away points. He was a lot more disappointed in his Slytherin students, taking away points through gritted teeth before shoving them towards the Slytherin common room. After sweeping the last corridor, we finally made our way back to turn in for the night.
We both walked into my room, and I immediately plopped down on the couch, flicking my flats off of my feet with my toes.
"Ah…" I said, sighing in relief. "My feet are killing me! How do you do that with your feet crying at the end?"
Severus shrugged, sitting down at the other end of the couch and placing my feet on his lap. "You will come to realize that you will, quite literally, have to walk everywhere to get anywhere in this blasted castle. In due time your body will adjust to the physical demands of this school," he said, holding my left foot and rubbing his thumb along the bottom of my foot.
The feeling was mind-numbingly relaxing. The only other times I would get foot massages was when I would go to get a pedicure, but those weren't even massages. Those were more like foot rubs, surprisingly leaving me more sore than when I had come in. He continued massaging my left foot before beginning on my right.
"So, Hogsmeade," I started, almost in a daze from the fabulous foot massage I was getting. "I'm going with you this weekend. Auntie said we will be chaperones? What is Hogsmeade?"
"Hogsmeade is an all-wizarding village. All students who are at least a third year are allowed to go, but they must have parental approval to participate. It is not really anything educational, though it gives a chance for the students to do what they please without having to suffer much consequence. How are your feet?"
I wriggled my toes before swinging them off of his lap and coming up into a sitting position. "They feel much better, thank you," I said, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled before standing up to take his leave. I followed him to the door, holding it open as he turned around.
"Although we were assigned the daunting task of doing the nightly rounds tonight, I enjoyed my time with you, Mia. I hope you get some rest tonight," he said, kissing the back of my hand. He's always so proper, and I liked that about him.
I smiled before taking a step and giving him another kiss on the cheek. "I enjoyed tonight as well, Severus. I hope you get some sleep, too." I squeezed his hand before he walked out the door. Once the door was shut, I unclasped my robe and unceremoniously took it off and threw it over the couch, quickly changed into my pajamas and plopped myself onto my bed, quickly entering my dreamland.
"I'm sorry, baby, but I have to go on a business trip for a couple of weeks," he said to me, stroking my hair as we laid in bed on a lazy Saturday morning. He's always going away on business trips at least once a month. I feel like I only really get to see him when we're working in the lab.
"You know you will be missing out on my birthday again. This will be the second year in a row," I said, upset that I will probably have to celebrate it alone again this year.
"I know and I am so sorry, for some reason it just worked out that way," he said. "If I could change the dates, you know I would." He kissed the top of my forehead, I don't know how much more of this I could take. I thought the point of being in a relationship with someone was to be with them, yet I feel so alone when I'm with him. It was hard trying to get used to losing both of my parents at the same time, but being in this relationship has taken its toll. I need to start doing what's best for me, or at least try to.
"Lucas, are we ever going to be more than this?" I said, waving at the space between us. "I feel like you spend more time trying to keep me locked inside my own house rather than going out and doing normal stuff. I only leave this house when we go to work, and you forbade me from doing anything else."
We both sat up, looking intensely at each other. It was now or never. "I'm not your prisoner, Lucas. You've done horrible things to me that I have forgiven you for, but I just can't take it anymore. I can't do this – us – anymore."
There was an eerie silence that pervaded the room. I looked away, hoping the tears that were threatening to fall would stay put. I looked back to him, his blonde hair falling so delicately off of his shoulders. I could see him subtly shaking, his eyes piercing me with his anger.
"Fine," he said, almost in a whisper. "I will leave." He swiftly got out from his side of the bed and started to pack all of his belongings. I sat on the bed in silence, wrapping the blanket around me. Once he was finished, he set his suitcase on the ground and turned to face me.
"Before I leave," he started, cupping my chin with his hand. "Know this: I will find you one day, and we will be together. We are destined for greatness, you and I. Until the next time we meet," he finished, kissing me on the lips. He stormed his way through my house and out the door.
I woke up in a panic, my face and palms were sweating and my breathing ragged. I could feel my hands start to shake as I tried to fish another vial of Calming Draught, only to find none.
"Damn it," I hissed, feeling the black curtain fall around me. I got out of bed and made the short distance to my piano. I rested my fingers on the keys and closed my eyes, focusing on the feeling of the piano at my fingertips. I could hear whispers in my head, but I couldn't tell who they belonged to. I shook it off as I took another breath and began to play.
I hope this will work, I really hope this will work. If it doesn't then I would feel all the work Severus and I have done would be for nothing. I knew the warning signs, and I had to take control. As I kept playing, I could feel pulses of energy leaving my body, and the curtain that hung around me started to disappear. Finally, after what seemed like forever, my anxiety and my panic subsided, feeling tired, but back to normal. Once I was able to move from my seat, I immediately went to the bathroom to take a long bath.
I had a pretty long to-do list today, most of it consisted of doing more cleaning and prep work in my classroom and office. Today was also the day that I would be a guest lecturer for the Advanced Potions class. I'm still not sure what I was going to talk about; I don't know that much about potions and I haven't really had a knack for public speaking. I let the steam from the bath clear my mind as I pondered on what I could talk about during his class. Once the water started to cool, I got out and dressed for the day, complete with teaching robes.
Breakfast was pretty calm today, Auntie was content as usual, and Severus was still the stone faced potions master, and I was still curious as usual. Auntie and I mostly talked about more of her teaching and grading style while Severus periodically chimed in with his opinion on how uneducated some of these students could be.
After breakfast was over, I made my way towards my classroom, passing a few students on the way. Some of them gave me a respectful nod, while others formally greeted me with a "Good morning, Professor," as they hurried off to their first class of the day. That feeling of confidence came back, reassuring myself that I really was somewhere where I belonged.
A few hours later and I was just about done with my classroom. I still had a ton of books that didn't fit in my room, and I had decided to give them a home in my classroom. Most of my time was spent re-alphabetizing them (they somehow got jumbled during my traveling, so they got out of order), which was surprisingly therapeutic. I was just putting the last few books on the shelf when Severus came in.
"I thought I would find you here," he said, closing the door behind him. I smiled as I went back to putting my books on the shelf. "Is everything alright?" he asked, sensing that something was wrong.
I couldn't keep anything from this man. I sighed, putting the last book on the shelf before turning to him and hugging him. He stiffened, but quickly relaxed and embraced me.
"I just didn't sleep well last night, that's all," I said, sighing into his chest. His one arm wrapped around my waist as the other came up to stroke my hair. It reminded me of how Lucas used to stroke my hair. I screwed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories.
"You know you can talk to me about anything," he said, softly.
"I had a bad dream, a flashback really. Back to when I told Lucas he had to leave. I wasn't really dreaming about anything in particular, just the whole event that took place." I held onto him tighter, trying to fight back the tears. I sighed, waving away the thoughts of Lucas and distracting myself by thinking about his upcoming class that I would be in today. I pulled away to look at him. "So, your Advanced Potions Class-"
"Can wait because you – obviously – need to be comforted." I laughed at him, shaking my head. I don't need to be "comforted", but this was nice.
"Unfortunately, and although this is supposed to be Advanced Potions, those students can be just as horrible as my first years. They can wait a few minutes," he said, rolling his eyes. He pulled me into his arms again and kissed the top of my forehead.
"I'd rather be with you than teaching those dunderheads," he said matter-of-factly.
"Oh my god," I said, swatting his chest and turning towards the bookshelf, trying to stifle my laugh. There was a book I wanted to bring today that had to deal with chemical formulas. I decided on a textbook that I had used in my first year of college. I felt him move to stand next to me, impressed by my collection of books.
"You can come in and borrow them anytime you want. I think you will find some of these books rather interesting," I said, nudging him with my elbow. He gave a small smile as he rested his hands behind his back.
"I shall have to return at a later time, seeing as it is now time to head to our class," he drawled, obviously not wanting to teach today. We both turned to walk out of my classroom and make our way towards Potions.
"Time!" I announced to the class. "Quills down, pass your answers to me."
The students groaned, wishing they had more time to finish their assignment that I had given them. As I was passing one of the students to collect the parchment, I could hear one of them say "I almost had it!" to their partner. The little nerd in me started to strut around with their chest puffed out.
"Professor Taylor, is there any way we could get more time on the assignment?" asked one of the students who was handing me the parchment for their row. I stopped to answer her question.
"When you are brewing potions, does the potion allow you for extra time if you're a bit behind? Does Professor Snape allow you extra time if you are not done brewing by the end of the class?" She lowered her gaze as she shook her head no. "And that is the whole point of this lesson. When it comes to subjects like Potions where your assignments are almost always time-sensitive, you can't just take your time or try to guess. You could have disastrous results if you don't use your time wisely and if you don't follow instructions." I picked up the last row of parchment before making my way back up the front. I turned to make my way back to the front, surprised to see Severus there. He was in his office for the entirety of my lecture, so I wasn't sure when he came out or how much he heard.
"On that, I leave you with this little story. I had a colleague who thought he knew better, and he thought he was better than all of us. Mind you, the formula we were working on did not solely rely on just one person. We had about five people working on this one formula." I could see some of their faces twisting into confusion. "Here, think of it this way, there were five of us making a potion. The potion itself could spell disaster if brewed incorrectly, which is why we had five people working on it, each person in charge of one specific ingredient and its preparation. My colleague didn't think this was important, the whole idea of being a team. Long story short, he poured an ingredient at the wrong time, and the potion was ruined, along with a few tables."
A few of the students chuckled and a couple of them could be heard saying "Serves him right," to their classmates. "Had any of us have been in that room," I continued, rather a bit more seriously this time, "We would have been dead by the end of the day."
The room fell silent.
"Lucky for him, he at least had the brains to wear the appropriate safety gear. So, let that be a lesson to you. Pay attention, follow directions, and don't kill your classmates." I looked back towards Severus, who seemed very impressed with me.
"That's it for today, your essays are due on my desk at the beginning of class next week. Get out." The door to his classroom flew open and the students started making their way out. After I straightened out the stack of assignments, I tucked them away in the small folio I had brought with me.
"Well done, Professor Taylor," Severus said to me as the door to his classroom closed. I tucked my folio under my arm as I walked towards him.
"You know, I can tolerate the students calling me that, because they have to. But you, not so much," I said, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. He looked surprised, not expecting me to do that at all.
"I'll see you at lunch, Professor Snape," I teased him, purposely making my robes billow behind me as I exited his classroom.
"Where are you going?" he asked, rather sadly.
"I'm meeting with Auntie Minnie today," I said casually over my shoulder. "I'll see you at lunch babe!"
Whoa. Did I just? I rounded the corner and stopped for a second. Did I really just call him babe? I didn't even mean to say it, the word just slipped out before I could stop myself. I guess he was right about us, which is a huge deal. I never thought I would be able to move on, but I also never realized how ready I seem to be. I guess I have a lot of catching up to do. I shook the thoughts out my head for now as I made my way towards Auntie Minnie.
"You're doing so well dear," Auntie said to me in the Great Hall. For some reason I was starving after our lesson today. I think all the anxiety and nervousness from trying not to fall off my broom used too many calories.
"Thank you, Auntie. I'm just glad I didn't fall off my broom today," I said, scooping up some rice and gravy. I still couldn't get the fact that I called Severus "babe" earlier, and I had to ask her.
"Auntie, can I ask you something? About me and Severus." She turned to look at me, worried written all over her face. I rested my hand on her shoulder, reassuring her that it wasn't anything bad.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm so connected to him, and he's a great guy, even if he puts up a front for the rest of the school. Then there are times when I feel like I should take a step back, like I shouldn't be feeling this way because of all of the crap with Lucas." I held onto the pendant that Severus gave to me, thinking about my next words. "I want to be with him, but I don't know if I'm ready."
She looked at me with those motherly eyes that my mom used to always give me. It always reminded me that everything would be okay.
"My dear, I can see why you're so torn. As for your situation with Lucas, I know you will resolve that issue in due time, even if it's not right away, and I know Severus will stand by you through it all. He may not ever verbalize his intentions to me, but I can clearly see them. You just need to open your heart, and think about what you truly want. I think that will help you get over some of your obstacles."
Sometimes I wonder if she knows me more than I know myself. I know I haven't fully opened myself up to him, but it's all in fear that I will become vulnerable again and I will get hurt. Being with Lucas has put me in constant fear that something will go wrong and I will get the blame. Being with him has conditioned me to stay distant to people, even to Severus. I know I've been opening up to him more and more but I know I still pull away at some things. I try not to get close, but then the feeling of wanting to be with him grows exponentially.
"I think chaperoning for the students to Hogsmeade this weekend is a great opportunity for you two to talk," she suggested, her eyes flickering to something behind me. I turned around to see Severus, routinely annoyed by his students, no doubt.
"Honestly, Minerva, I don't understand how some of these students are granted permission to go to Hogsmeade when they can't even do their homework," he seethed, focusing on his plate of food. I shook my head, wondering who pissed off the Potions Master today.