At dinner that evening Solasta stared at her dinner and was unusually quiet. Sandoval gave Aisii a questioning look and she replied in silence with a shrug, neither of which went unnoticed by Solasta so she spoke first.
"How old is the speeder Dad?" she asked.
The Commander looked to Aisii first and answered, "Well, we bought it shortly after we got married and it was stored all the years I was stationed in space so it's probably been parked more than it's been run. Why do you ask?"
"No reason, just curious," and she returned to eating her dinner with her head down and slouching in her chair.
Although they both could see that there was something bothering Solasta they waited to see what she would say or do next, and they didn't need to wait long before she looked up and asked, "Why would it be funny that I use the refresher?"
Aisii answered, "There isn't anything funny about that, everyone uses the refresher," and looked at Sandoval with a puzzled expression on her face.
The Commander had always been able to relax his disciplined side when he was off duty and retirement agreed with him, so he was more at ease now than ever before but never lost his edge from a lifetime in the Navy. Using his Executive Officer voice he commanded, "Private Dinn, out with it and speak plainly now!" to which she snapped from her slouch wide-eye to a proper stiff and attentive position in her chair.
At first she spoke slowly about how the girls greeted her that morning, then started to get emotional when describing the comments about the Desler, and finally broke down sobbing when she told them about how they had excluded her over the summer and when picking seats in class.
Agitated, Solasta blurted out, "And why would I lick myself instead of using the refresher?" before running to her room and slamming the door behind her.
Throwing herself onto her bed she hugged a pillow and cried uncontrollably. Aisii and Sandoval just sat there looking at each other confused.
Aisii pushed back her chair, stood, and walked to Solata's room to check on her. From the other side of door, Aisii could hear the sobs and deep gasps for breath. She knocked softly before stepping inside and shutting the door behind her. Walking over and sitting on the edge of Solasta's bed, she rubbed her back until the sobs slowed and the gasps were less frequent.
"Solasta, those girls aren't your friends if they don't apologize and start including you. I wish there was a way to make them understand that they're not being nice or fair but sometimes people are just mean, or jealous, or sometimes just don't know any better."
With tears in her eyes, Solasta rolled over to face her mother and asked, "But why did everything have to change?"
"I don't know honey, but everything changes and sometimes they're not the changes we want. Those girls think a new speeder or new clothes are all that matters, but that's not what is important. Your Father and I are retired and can't always afford the same things their families can, so we make do and appreciate what we have, and you've always had the things you needed." Aisii continued, "If you haven't figured out why they think jokes about licking yourself, instead of the refresher is funny, then you need to remember that felines bath themselves. When you were just a small kitling you instinctively tried bathe yourself with your tongue, but we washed you in the tub, you take showers now, and you understand that you don't need to 'wash yourself' because we have those things. Those girls are being mean and crude if they think this is something to make a joke about."
Solasta simply crinkled her nose, slightly opened her mouth and curled her lips to exaggerate her disgust at the thought of bathing her entire self with nothing but her tongue, and they both laughed. "I'll bring your dinner in her if you want," said Aisii, but Solasta shook her head no and said she would come back to the table.
When her mother had left her, Solasta sat up, and from the edge of her bed caught herself in the dressing mirror. She stood and facing herself realized that the reflection was of a tall and lanky Cathar girl - not that she didn't already know she was Cathar, but at that moment she realized that she was not Zabrak like her mother or Human like her father and for the first time in her life, on that day, it mattered to others who she was and what she had.
She headed to the refresher first to wash the tears from face before returning to the table to finish. Her parents watched as she returned to the table and once she was seated, she looked at both of them and proclaimed, "I'm Cathar and I have parents who love ME."
Aisii broke into a broad smile and without missing a beat Sandoval simply asked, "so what's our plan of attack Private Dinn?"
"Well, if those girls don't want to be my friend then I don't need them. I'm going get new friends. I'm going to study everything I can and pass the ACEs so I don't ever have to see them again!"
"That's a sound plan Private, we'll begin preparations after dessert," and The Commander winked at her.
The next few weeks Solasta focused on nothing but her academics. At school she absorbed as much as possible in class and at lunch she could always be found studying alone in the cafeteria. At home she went directly to her room and studied the rest of the lessons for the season. Her parents made sure she was fed, took breaks to get out of her room or just sit and watch the holo with them, and on more than one occasion turn out her desk lamp and coax her to go to bed when she had fallen asleep sitting with her data pad in her hands.
The ACEs were always held on the first day of the week at the start of the second cycle of the school year. This gave the students the weekend to do as much last minute cramming as they could, but on the last day of the week prior to the new cycle Solasta had an incident at school.
She was exhausted from all her late nights studying the past month and despite her parent's best efforts wasn't eating well. Inside she was changing also, but hadn't noticed when they began over the summer break and of late had been too preoccupied to notice herself maturing. Those Cathar traits that had been locked in her genetics were now beginning to surface, and the young carefree Cathar adolescence was fading and the serious, emotional, and temperamental traits were beginning to establish themselves.
So Solasta's reaction wasn't a surprise when the boy from Tenth Form dumped his unfinished lunch from his tray on her.
The cold stew that spilt down her arm and onto her lap startled her and she dropped the data pad she was studying onto the table. She leapt to her feet and faced the boy who towered over her. He laughed and said aloud for everyone to hear, "Oops, I must have tripped, but it's ok I hear you lick yourself clean."
A lifetime of nurturing crumbled away as nature took over. Solasta's pupils dilated until her eyes looked like an eclipsed sun, her skin burned as if she was one, and fur stiffened. Her heartbeat slowed, and she curled back her lips. The barely perceivable twitches to the muscles in her jaw, cheeks, and forehead that signaled posturing when Cathar encountered confrontation was missed by the young man who did not realize he was being challenged.
Still laughing at the prone and tense girl in front of him, he motioned to push her backwards into her seat but Solasta reacted before he could connect with her. In one fluid motion she leaned back to avoid the boy's hands, extended the claws on her right hand and struck.
Both stood surprised at what had just happened and the boy, feeling the warm trickle of blood start down his cheek, clasped his hand to his face and ran from the cafeteria. Solasta just sat back down and closed her eyes while waiting for what she knew would come. She could her the distinct sound of Gloa, Metho, Vaira, and the rest of the girls laughing at her outburst.
In the Headmaster's Office she was given the opportunity to explain herself but was too embarrassed to elaborate on what the boy had said to her. She chose instead to simply explain the boy had spilled his tray on her by accident and that she overreacted. The Headmaster was not convinced by this since her teachers had already reported that she was having issues with some of the other students and had also been informed of what was said in the cafeteria.
"Miss Dinn, you are very fortunate that boy did not suffer any serious injuries and will only need a light application of kolto and some cell regeneration before returning to his afternoon studies," said the Headmaster. "I understand that you have been focusing on preparation for the ACEs and know there is more going on that what you have told me, but that is still not excuse for attacking another student. I am prepared to add a disciplinary note to your academic file pending the results of your testing next week. Should you not pass the examination, not only will you remain in your current form but there will be a suspension and note added to your permanent record. You are done for today and can wait in the outer office until your parents arrive."
Solasta sat alone on the stiff laminoid bench outside the Headmaster's office waiting for her parents to pick her up. When they finally arrived they were invited directly into the Headmaster's Office and Solasta pleaded innocence with her eyes as the passed by.
They've been in there a long time she thought, and no matter how hard she strained to hear what was being discussed all her ears could pick up was low muffled voices but nothing she could make out. After nearly 45 minutes they emerged and looked very solemn. "Go collect your things Solasta," the Headmaster said.
As she made her way to her locker she passed the boy from the cafeteria, his cheek still pink where the school's med droid had patched him. As their eyes met the boy looked away sharply and mumbled, "sorry" Solasta replied, "yeah, me too," and they continued in their separate directions.
Once at home the Commander pointed to his study and strode in ahead of Solasta. She dragged her feet and felt every footstep get heavier than the last as though gravity had decided to play a cruel trick on her, but she reluctantly met him inside. Overall Solasta was a well-adjusted child and her parents never needed to resort to punishment since a stern look from the Commander was all that was needed, but on this occasion Solasta didn't know what to expect.
Inside, he was standing behind his desk waiting as she walked over with her head down and shoulders drooped until she faced him and waited for him to speak.
"We are very disappointed in you Solasta. You've worked so hard preparing for the ACEs, and in one reckless uncontrolled outburst, risked being suspended and missing them. You are going to have a lifetime of dealing with people and some are going to be bullies. You best learn that your responses need to be measured and appropriate, and attacking a fellow soldier - I mean student, in the school cafeteria is not how you solve it!" Through his talk with her the Commander's voice had become raised but his face didn't betray any emotion.
What the Commander knew was that for her size, strength, and agility, she could have easily overpowered the older, much bigger, boy and peeled his face off had she truly given into her anger.
Standing in the Commander's study, Solasta didn't speak but felt very small and alone through the reprimand, but mostly she was disappointed that she wasn't praised at all for her restraint, for she also knew what the Commander did.
The entire meeting was as quick and efficient as any of his military briefings, however before dismissing her to wash up for dinner he walked around his desk to face her and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
"Good girl for standing up for yourself, but remember to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves," he said.